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Oct. 30th, 2005 11:46 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
girlnorth.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregTitle: The Intricacies of Grief, 5/?
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: Up to and including "Who Shot Sherlock?"
Disclaimer: Yeah, right.
Previous Parts:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Nick straightened his tie and stretched his neck with a grimace. He really hated ties and he thanked his lucky stars he didn’t have to wear them more often. His dad had worn a tie every day, except on Saturdays when he would loosen up and wear a golf shirt. Nick couldn’t remember seeing him in a shirt without a collar.
He looked at his fingernails to make sure they were clean, this little quirk he’d had from the times his dad would inspect them before he or his brother or sisters could walk out the door. It didn’t matter if he was just going over to his friend’s place to play in the dirt. They had to be clean.
Nick sighed.
He had pretty much ignored Greg’s announcement in the bar, nodded his head and changed the subject. They left shortly after and had barely spoken since. A few ‘pass the milk’s at breakfast and that was about it. Nick tried not to notice the look of disappointment Greg wore, because he sure as hell didn’t need anyone else in his life being disappointed in him. He was so close to just asking Greg to go back to Vegas, but every time he went to do it, something held him back. The fact of the matter was, Greg was right: he did need a friend with him in Texas. He needed Greg there more than he didn’t need conflict with his family, and fuck did that scare him.
Nick stepped out into the hallway and almost bumped into Greg.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” Greg answered, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“You’re not dressed,” Nick said, his keen investigative skills obviously still intact.
Greg shrugged. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to come.”
Well, fair enough. Nick hadn’t really given him any reason for thinking he’d want Greg at the viewing, but he did. He wasn’t looking forward to the repercussions, but damn it, he wanted him there anyway.
“I do,” Nick said, not quite meeting Greg’s eyes. “If you want to come.”
“Yeah,” Greg said, and when Nick looked at him, he was graced with a little Greg Sanders smirk that said he was forgiven. He couldn’t help but smile back as he nodded toward the area over Greg’s shoulder.
“Get dressed,” he said.
“What, this isn’t suitable?” Greg gestured to his t-shirt, which read ‘I found Jesus. He was between the couch cushions the whole time!'
Nick smiled and shook his head, sending Greg to change into his suit.
As they drove toward the funeral home that was to house his father’s viewing, Nick outlined his family tree for Greg.
“I’m never going to remember all that,” Greg said, looking a little bewildered.
“I don’t expect you to,” Nick said, adding “and it might not matter” under his breath. He was afraid of the reception Greg would get, but Greg was tougher than he looked, he could take it. And if Greg could take it, so could Nick. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.
Nick exhaled deeply as he parked the car, and he felt Greg’s hand on his shoulder.
“You okay?” Greg asked, and it was a dumb question, but Nick knew what he meant and appreciated it.
He nodded, and got out of the car.
“Jesus,” he said, when he saw the crowd. He hadn’t really thought about what kind of an event this would be. His father was a well-known man in this city, and even the power brokers that didn’t like him would make an appearance. Politics. He and Greg made their way into the huge room where his father’s casket rested on a pedestal in front. But Nick didn’t hurry toward it, instead he looked around to see which of his siblings were there. Well. All of them.
In what he took as a sign of solidarity, Jacqui made her way to him first. Lee-Ann waved, but didn’t come over. He watched as Jake chastised her, and he did his best not to storm over there and tell the guy what for. Next he saw his brother Mike, who made his way over.
“Hey Nick,” he said as he reached out to shake hands, and at one time they would have hugged.
“Mike,” said Nick. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, you know,” Mike said, nodding his head toward their dad’s casket.
“Yeah,” Nick nodded, and when he caught Mike glancing at Greg, he added “this is my friend Greg. Greg, my brother Mike.”
The two men shook hands, and Nick could tell that Mike was extremely uncomfortable. At least he hadn’t been as blunt as his sisters and made a comment in Greg’s presence. Actually, Nick didn’t think he would have said anything if they’d been alone. He wouldn’t have had to.
Nick dropped in at Mike and Stephanie’s unexpectedly, like he’d done a thousand times before. The Cowboys were playing the Cardinals, and Nick needed nothing more than to hang out with his big brother and watch sports.
“Nick,” Mike said in surprise as he answered the door.
“Hey Mike,” Nick said, and when Mike didn’t move “are you gonna let me in?”
“Uh, of course,” Mike said, but Nick could see his uneasiness.
Nick stopped in the kitchen to kiss his sister-in-law on the cheek, and she smiled at him. Steph had never been completely accepted by the family. She was from California, and Mike met her when he went to school out there. His parents called her a hippy, and were particularly upset when she got a job at an abortion clinic. The job hadn’t lasted long, she’d been laid off, and though Nick didn’t know any of the details, wondered now if they had something to do with it. Political power can do all sorts of things if you pressure the right people. Nick knew that Stephanie would be supportive of him, and he thought Mike would be too.
“I guess you heard,” Nick said as he sat down on the sofa.
“Oh… yeah.” Nick had never seen Mike look so uncomfortable.
“Man, are you okay?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, yeah, sure!” Mike said, but he wouldn’t look Nick in the eye.
“Right,” Nick said.
He’d tried a few more times with Mike, but it hadn’t gotten much better. How do you have a relationship with your brother when he can’t even look you in the eye?
Mike’s rejection hurt most of all, or was maybe a close second after his dad. But Mike was his big brother and Nick had looked up to him all his life. The fact that he no longer wanted to have anything to do with Nick was probably what pushed him over the edge, and to Las Vegas. When he moved there, he could hear Mike’s sigh of relief across three states.
“Well, I should go say hello to Aunt Rhonda,” Mike said, and it was so ridiculous that Nick almost laughed. There was a time when Michael Stokes would have done anything to get out of being in the presence of Aunt Rhonda, and now he was using her as an excuse to get out of Nick’s.
‘Five down,’ Nick thought, ‘and two to go.’
TBC in Chapter 6
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: Up to and including "Who Shot Sherlock?"
Disclaimer: Yeah, right.
Previous Parts:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Nick straightened his tie and stretched his neck with a grimace. He really hated ties and he thanked his lucky stars he didn’t have to wear them more often. His dad had worn a tie every day, except on Saturdays when he would loosen up and wear a golf shirt. Nick couldn’t remember seeing him in a shirt without a collar.
He looked at his fingernails to make sure they were clean, this little quirk he’d had from the times his dad would inspect them before he or his brother or sisters could walk out the door. It didn’t matter if he was just going over to his friend’s place to play in the dirt. They had to be clean.
Nick sighed.
He had pretty much ignored Greg’s announcement in the bar, nodded his head and changed the subject. They left shortly after and had barely spoken since. A few ‘pass the milk’s at breakfast and that was about it. Nick tried not to notice the look of disappointment Greg wore, because he sure as hell didn’t need anyone else in his life being disappointed in him. He was so close to just asking Greg to go back to Vegas, but every time he went to do it, something held him back. The fact of the matter was, Greg was right: he did need a friend with him in Texas. He needed Greg there more than he didn’t need conflict with his family, and fuck did that scare him.
Nick stepped out into the hallway and almost bumped into Greg.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” Greg answered, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“You’re not dressed,” Nick said, his keen investigative skills obviously still intact.
Greg shrugged. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to come.”
Well, fair enough. Nick hadn’t really given him any reason for thinking he’d want Greg at the viewing, but he did. He wasn’t looking forward to the repercussions, but damn it, he wanted him there anyway.
“I do,” Nick said, not quite meeting Greg’s eyes. “If you want to come.”
“Yeah,” Greg said, and when Nick looked at him, he was graced with a little Greg Sanders smirk that said he was forgiven. He couldn’t help but smile back as he nodded toward the area over Greg’s shoulder.
“Get dressed,” he said.
“What, this isn’t suitable?” Greg gestured to his t-shirt, which read ‘I found Jesus. He was between the couch cushions the whole time!'
Nick smiled and shook his head, sending Greg to change into his suit.
As they drove toward the funeral home that was to house his father’s viewing, Nick outlined his family tree for Greg.
“I’m never going to remember all that,” Greg said, looking a little bewildered.
“I don’t expect you to,” Nick said, adding “and it might not matter” under his breath. He was afraid of the reception Greg would get, but Greg was tougher than he looked, he could take it. And if Greg could take it, so could Nick. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.
Nick exhaled deeply as he parked the car, and he felt Greg’s hand on his shoulder.
“You okay?” Greg asked, and it was a dumb question, but Nick knew what he meant and appreciated it.
He nodded, and got out of the car.
“Jesus,” he said, when he saw the crowd. He hadn’t really thought about what kind of an event this would be. His father was a well-known man in this city, and even the power brokers that didn’t like him would make an appearance. Politics. He and Greg made their way into the huge room where his father’s casket rested on a pedestal in front. But Nick didn’t hurry toward it, instead he looked around to see which of his siblings were there. Well. All of them.
In what he took as a sign of solidarity, Jacqui made her way to him first. Lee-Ann waved, but didn’t come over. He watched as Jake chastised her, and he did his best not to storm over there and tell the guy what for. Next he saw his brother Mike, who made his way over.
“Hey Nick,” he said as he reached out to shake hands, and at one time they would have hugged.
“Mike,” said Nick. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, you know,” Mike said, nodding his head toward their dad’s casket.
“Yeah,” Nick nodded, and when he caught Mike glancing at Greg, he added “this is my friend Greg. Greg, my brother Mike.”
The two men shook hands, and Nick could tell that Mike was extremely uncomfortable. At least he hadn’t been as blunt as his sisters and made a comment in Greg’s presence. Actually, Nick didn’t think he would have said anything if they’d been alone. He wouldn’t have had to.
Nick dropped in at Mike and Stephanie’s unexpectedly, like he’d done a thousand times before. The Cowboys were playing the Cardinals, and Nick needed nothing more than to hang out with his big brother and watch sports.
“Nick,” Mike said in surprise as he answered the door.
“Hey Mike,” Nick said, and when Mike didn’t move “are you gonna let me in?”
“Uh, of course,” Mike said, but Nick could see his uneasiness.
Nick stopped in the kitchen to kiss his sister-in-law on the cheek, and she smiled at him. Steph had never been completely accepted by the family. She was from California, and Mike met her when he went to school out there. His parents called her a hippy, and were particularly upset when she got a job at an abortion clinic. The job hadn’t lasted long, she’d been laid off, and though Nick didn’t know any of the details, wondered now if they had something to do with it. Political power can do all sorts of things if you pressure the right people. Nick knew that Stephanie would be supportive of him, and he thought Mike would be too.
“I guess you heard,” Nick said as he sat down on the sofa.
“Oh… yeah.” Nick had never seen Mike look so uncomfortable.
“Man, are you okay?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, yeah, sure!” Mike said, but he wouldn’t look Nick in the eye.
“Right,” Nick said.
He’d tried a few more times with Mike, but it hadn’t gotten much better. How do you have a relationship with your brother when he can’t even look you in the eye?
Mike’s rejection hurt most of all, or was maybe a close second after his dad. But Mike was his big brother and Nick had looked up to him all his life. The fact that he no longer wanted to have anything to do with Nick was probably what pushed him over the edge, and to Las Vegas. When he moved there, he could hear Mike’s sigh of relief across three states.
“Well, I should go say hello to Aunt Rhonda,” Mike said, and it was so ridiculous that Nick almost laughed. There was a time when Michael Stokes would have done anything to get out of being in the presence of Aunt Rhonda, and now he was using her as an excuse to get out of Nick’s.
‘Five down,’ Nick thought, ‘and two to go.’
TBC in Chapter 6
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Date: 2005-10-31 08:04 am (UTC)Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
OK, now that I've got that out, I have to say that the first little detail about Nick's father always wearing shirts with collars just blew me away--such a small tidbit of information but it says so much about the man. And then you followed it up with Nick chekcing his fingernails and, yeah. Love it so much.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 11:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 01:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 08:24 pm (UTC)This is really a great story. I'm sorry that you've had problems getting it continued, but it seems like it was worth it.
Strong silent Greg is an absolute favourite with me. I love him when all the hero dust has landed on him. I am so happy that I got to read this love story.
/A
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 01:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 06:56 pm (UTC)Seriously, this is the best day.
woo hoo
Date: 2005-10-31 09:38 pm (UTC)Mel
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 09:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 10:03 pm (UTC)And poor Nicky, all that trouble just because he's gay? Sorry for the bluntness, but I bloody hate homophobes. They should be given a good whack in the head.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-24 08:20 pm (UTC)