(no subject)

[jettblack0110.livejournal.com]

 Title: Domestic Chores
Chapter: 2/12
Rating: PG
Summary: An intervention is staged.
Warnings: None

 

Nick stretched his aching back and yawned widely. His muscles groaned after having sat in the same position for nearly three hours as Nick filled out paperwork for his latest case. Absentmindedly scratching at the patch of hair on his upper lip, Nick glanced at his cell phone and then looked out the window of the office. No new calls and no new visits. The lab was relatively quiet for such a busy night; Nick knew for a fact that each nightshift CSI was working on a case. Perhaps none had returned yet.

Jumping slightly as the phone in his hand vibrated, Nick composed himself and answered.

“Stokes.”

“Hi Nicky,” sighed the voice of Greg.

“Hey, G, long case?”

“The longest. I’ll tell you about it when we get back, we’re leaving now.”

“Yeah, okay. Hey, what do you want for breakfast?”

“Are you cooking?”

“Yeah, I thought I would.”

“Oh.” Greg’s tone was strange to Nick. It sounded as if Greg was straining to hold some strong emotion back.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, it’s just…will you wear a hair net?”

“A hair net? G, I’ve cooked for you for almost two years and you just now want me to wear a hair net to cook for you?”

“Not on your head.”

“Where then?”

“I don’t—“ Greg let out a choked sound before quickly saying, “I don’t want moustache hairs in my eggs.” He then hung up.

Nick was still clutching the phone, his mouth pursed in a defeated manner. This had been going on for almost a month now. Nick had been the butt of many of Greg’s spur of the moment moustache jokes all because Greg did not like how the moustache felt when they kissed. Nick thought Greg was being ridiculous, Greg thought Nick was being stubborn, and both thought the other was being selfish.

Gazing at the screen of his computer, Nick raked his finger through the coarse hair on his lip. For him, the moustache was nostalgic. His father had a moustache, as did his brother. It was pretty much a sign of manhood back home in Texas, and Nick felt that at least once in his life he should be the proud owner of an authentic cowboy moustache. And it is not like he looked bad or anything. Maybe he did look a little older, but that is why he loved being with Greg. Even if he looked older, he still felt young being around the exuberant CSI. Nick scratched at the moustache again, enjoying the feel of the utterly masculine facial hair. Not only did it represent the fact that he was a man, it was also a little bit celebratory. Nick grew the moustache after surviving the whole kidnapping ordeal. It was sort of his rebellion against death; his I’m-alive-and-I’ll-prove-it moustache. It was a symbol of the fact that he was not in a coffin but living and breathing and, yes, able to grow hair on his face.

When Greg first complained about the moustache, Nick did not mind so much. They had been making out and Greg kept scrunching up his nose mid-kiss. When Greg complained the second time, he whined about how the moustache would scratch the skin on his chest and belly as Nick worked his way slowly downward. But it was the last straw for Nick when Greg actually asked him to stop blowing him because the moustache was too weird. That had been almost two weeks ago.

A staccato of knocking jerked Nick out of his musings. He looked up, seeing Greg through the window of the office, signaling him to follow. Greg then dashed out of Nick’s line of sight. Nick groaned and stood, gritting his teeth as his back muscles screamed in protest. He poked his head through the doorway in time to see a flash of spiky hair and an athletic shoe whipping around the corner, heading toward the locker rooms. A tiny thrill of excitement made its way through Nick’s body as he followed. They had enjoyed several quickies at work before, and every time Nick became more addicted. He knew Greg wanted him to go to the locker room for a quick hand job or similar, and Nick could not help but quicken his step. Up ahead, the locker room door slammed shut after admitting the ex lab rat. Nick was practically running by now. He finally reached the door and crashed through it; he was not prepared for what happened next.

He heard Greg yell and then felt something hit his torso with the force of a truck. He looked up from his new position on the floor to see Warrick sitting on his shins, effectively pinning his legs. He tried to get up, but realized that something, someone, was pinning his arms. Throwing his head to either side, he saw that Catherine and Sara were in on the plan too. Nick was a little hesitant about what would happen next; it surely would not be sex with Greg, even Greg was not that kinky.

“What the hell is going on here?” Nick asked.

“Fixing something, Nick,” Warrick said with laughter in his voice. Greg flashed into Nick’s vision, and then Nick felt weight on his chest as Greg sat down. He was holding something behind his back.

“I got you something, Nick,” Greg said through his smirk.

“Get off of me, G.”

“Just trust me.” With that, Greg planted his long fingers on Nick’s forehead with surprising strength; Nick could barely move now that four CSIs were pinning him down. With his other hand, Greg pulled out whatever he was hiding. Nick felt his mouth gape open when he saw what was in Greg’s hand.

Shaving cream and a razor.

Nick was cowed by the manic glint in Greg’s eye as he spread some of the white foam on Nick’s helpless face. Nick tried to struggle, tried to throw of Greg’s grip of his head.

“Nick, you look like the star of a bad 80’s porno. I have to do this. You’ll thank me for this later.” And then with four quick swipes, the lip was bare and Nick was looking daggers at his lover, who was now getting up as quickly as possible. Nick struggled against the laughing figures that were still pinning him to the floor.

“Just you wait, G. You’ll pay for this.”

“What could you possibly do?”

“You want me clean shaven?”

“It would appear so, now wouldn’t it?”

“Good. Then I’ll just tell my barber to shave my head next time.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Just you wait….”

Comments

[cheryl-tunt.livejournal.com]

Haha! Oh, this was brilliant! I loved how everyone was in on it. And it's even better because my friend and I were watching "A Bullet Runs Through It" and I said, "I'll bet Greg hates that 'stache" and she was like, "Totally, dude. Who doesn't?" Wonderful fic. My stomach hurts from laughing.

[jettblack0110.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine the state of poor Greg's upper lip for the span of that three weeks or so that Nicky had the stache? I bet he had stubble burn for the whole time. Because even with the stache, Nick is still hot (I just try to imagine it not there) and you know that it would take much more than a pornstache to stop Greggo from getting some lovin'. Poor G.
Thanks so much for the comment.

[wojo62.livejournal.com]

That was funny. I always hated that mustache!!

[jettblack0110.livejournal.com]

That seems to be the general reaction to the stache. Poor Nicky. Someone should have gotten Nicky some therapy rather than letting him grow the pornstache. Thanks for reading!

[xloveisinocentx.livejournal.com]

One of the first CSI episodes I saw was "A Bullet Runs Through It." And when I saw Nick, I was all "Who the Hell is that freak in the mustache???" XD It totally takes away from the sexiness that is George Eads.
This was great, though. :D

[jettblack0110.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Last night "Dog Eat Dog" was on, and I could barely concentrate on Nick's case because I was laughing so hard at his stache. Like, every time it was on screen. It does subract from his loverly face. I just figured Greg did not like how the stache felt.
Thanks for reading :)

[boonesfarmgirl.livejournal.com]

My son and I were watching one of the pornstache episodes and he said, "I can not concentrate on what they are saying because all I can watch is Nick's upper lip. Some men just should not have facial hair." And he is only 15. Out of the mouths of babes.

Chelle

[jettblack0110.livejournal.com]

It's so true it's not even funny. We should probably send a petition to CBS to have included in George's contract that he can no longer grow facial hair, for it is too distracting from the rest of the show.
Thanks for your comment :)

[jayceepat.livejournal.com]

I read this a while ago on WMTDB and just loved it there. I still love it and I think this one and Nick with a cold are hilarious.

[jettblack0110.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much (I feel a little redundant posting this series everywhere, but what can you do?)
Nick's pornstache *shakes head* we must bring it's horrificness to light so the world can see what happens when hot guys grow facial hair. I'm doing a community service here.