Lemon Chapter 4
Feb. 13th, 2008 07:07 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregRating: G-PG
Warnings: angst. It's a song-fic, and there is mentions of hetero in here...not specified though. Also, my terrible writing.
Summary: Nick and Greg break up. Greg tries to forget. After all, what are bad memories but sour lemons that one has to throw away?--I will walk together, the future not promised to yet, it keeps walking together, to the future which you are.--
Spoilers: Uh, not any that I know of, unless you count the unimportant transition of Greg going from Lab Rat to CSI...also, some very small spoiler like thing for uh...Chasing the Bus...I think.
Previous Chapters:
[Lemon Chapter 1]
[Lemon Chapter 2]
[Lemon Chapter 3]
Disclaimer: As I've said before, I don't own CSI. I don't own Cassis either. The music belongs to the GazettE(Aoi, Kai, Uruha, and Reita) while the lyrics belong to the vocalist Ruki...
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Aa, zutto kurikaeshiteta Zutto kanashimasete bakari datta
Aa, kitto anata sae mo kizu tsukete Boku wa ugokeno mama
Aa, anata ni fureru koto ga Naze konna ni kurushii no desu ka?
Kitto onaji koto wo kurikaeshite Anata wo ushinatte shimau no ga kowakatta kara
I repeated it for a long time. I made you sad for a long time.
I must have hurt you. Now I still cannot move.
Why is it so painful to touch you?
I think it is because I was afraid of making the same mistake and losing you.
The first few minutes of their meeting had been awkward silence. The kind of awkward silence that made someone want to leave and curl up in a corner, hoping that it would go away.
Nick wouldn’t let it deter him though. He just sat there patiently, stirring his luke-warm coffee, waiting for Greg to speak first.
He knew that it would be better if he were to break the silence, but he was a too afraid to…too afraid of breaking the already fragile connection between them.
When Greg looked up from the table, brown eyes clouded, Nick wanted to reach across the table and hug him, take his hand, anything…but he didn’t.
Scenarios played in his mind…scenarios that were exactly like that afternoon when he had broken their relationship…when he had pushed Greg away…
…he didn’t want that to happen again.
Yori suo koto de nuguou to shita wasure kirenakatta hi wo
Anata wa nani mo kikazu ni kono te wo nigettekureta ne
I tried to recover the unforgettable days to stay close to each other.
You hold my hand without asking anything
The small diner that they sat in, vacant of many customers, made Greg nervous.
He wanted to say something to Nick, but he didn’t want to say something stupid, like ‘I still love you’ or ‘I want to be with you,’ especially not in a public place.
That would make Nick angry; declaring such personal things to a public crowd, and Greg couldn’t stand it, especially if he was the one who had ruined the chance of trying to rekindle what relationship they had left.
Looking up at Nick, he opened his mouth to say something, anything to him.
“Can I get you two some more coffee?” one of the many waitresses asked as she stood in front of the table, coffee pot held in one hand.
Greg shook his head, and Nick nodded, “Yes ma’am. Could you bring me some eggs and hash browns too?”
She smiled, “Sure thing Cowboy.”
Nick smiled back at her as she turned and walked back to the kitchen.
Greg sighed quietly and looked back at his coffee.
(“Nicky, why do all the waitresses flirt with you…everywhere we go?”
“You know G, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’re jealous.” He teased, poking the slightly shorter man in the shoulder.
Greg glared, “I’m not jealous, why would I be?”
“Aww, you’re so cute when you glare.”
Walking a bit ahead of Nick, he crossed his arms, and ignored him.
“Don’t be like that G, I think it’s adorable.”
Blowing air out of his mouth, he walked a little faster, “I’m not adorable.”
“Alright, fine,” Nick said as he too quickened his strides and walked beside Greg, pulling his arms from their crossed position and lacing their fingers together, “when you glare like that it makes you look sexy.”
Greg’s face relaxed, and he smiled at Nick, their hands staying intertwined together unconsciously as they walked down the street.)
Ashita anata no kimochi ga hanarete mo kitto kawarazu ai shiteru.
Ashita anata ni boku ga mienakute mo kitto kawarazu ai shiteru
I WILL WALK TOGETHER, to future not promised to yet
It keeps walking together, to the future which you are…
Even if you don't love me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
Even if you don't see me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
I will walk together, the future not promised
It keeps walking together, to the future in which you are…
Nick watched as Greg’s grip tightened on the ceramic mug, knuckles turning white at the force.
“Greg?”
He looked up, his grip still tight, “Yeah?”
“What did you want to talk about?”
Greg let go of the cup and sat back on the padded seat, “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”
“Greg?”
He looked over at the pictures decorating the walls, “Our case, the one about the child being killed…I know that you hate those kinds of cases…then you called and left those messages on my phone. I wanted to see if you were alright…I mean, the case bothered me to…so you’re probably not okay with it, and I just wanted to see…I’m talking too much aren’t I?”
Nick smiled, reaching across the table; he placed his hand over Greg’s for a second before pulling back, “Just a bit.”
Greg blushed and looked down, “Yeah…sorry.”
“It’s okay, really. The case, it bothered me. I’m okay now though.”
He looked up, “Really?”
Nick nodded, “Yeah, getting out of my house really helped.” Being here with you did too.
Greg looked down at his watch, “Shit, I have to go in tonight. I’ll see you tonight, right?”
“No, I’m off. Grissom says that I’ve been working too hard lately.”
He nodded, “Oh, well, uh, I need to go now, get ready and all.”
“Yeah, see you later.”
“Later…” Greg whispered as he got up and left.
Tsurai koto sae wasureru jurai anata wo omotteiru
Aenai yoru wo kazoeru tabi ni koga reru mune
I love you so much that I forget any suffering.
My heart feels pain every time I count the days we cannot meet.
Greg wrinkled his nose at the smell.
Blood, everywhere. On the walls, carpets, ceiling and windows.
He didn’t know what it was about the smell or color, but it made him feel sick to his stomach, like he had eaten something bad that didn’t agree with him.
(“You okay?”
Greg looked up at Nick from the bathroom floor, “If I said yes, would you believe me?”
“Probably not.”
“Then no, I’m not okay.”
Nick kneeled down beside him, “I told you that you shouldn’t have come out there tonight.”
“All hands on deck Nicky.”
Sighing, Nick carefully helped him up, “Yeah, but you didn’t have to be out there.”
Greg leaned against the sink as he brushed his teeth, trying to get the bad taste out of his mouth, “I wanted to help.” He muttered standing straight and slowly walking into the bedroom, climbing into bed.
Nick got in on the other side, after turning the bathroom light off, and pulled Greg closer to him.
“Hey Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“How can you stay so calm when the blood comes out like that?”
“Who says that I don’t freak out?”
“You didn’t last night.”
Nick pulled Greg closer, “I didn’t see it the way you saw it. I saw a potential witness and victim coughing up blood. You saw just a normal person. Different views, different reactions.”
Greg was quiet, “Oh. Night, love you.”
“Night G. Love you too.”)
“You alright Greg?” Catherine asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Snapping out of his thoughts, he looked around him, “Yeah. I was just trying to calm my stomach down.”
Kake chigai no sabishisa tsunoru Dou ka hitorikiri de nakanaide
Donna ni hanareteite mo Shinjiaeru futari de iyou
The loneliness is piling up. Please don’t cry alone
Even if we are so far away, we can believe each other.
Nick shifted on the couch, trying to stop his leg from falling asleep.
Sometimes he wondered if Grissom made him take nights off because he knew how much Nick hated not being able to help.
The phone rung, and he looked over at it, debating on whether or not to answer.
When the answering machine picked up, he decided to let it screen.
“Hey Nick. This is going to be hard for the both of us. Harder for me especially. I got a job offer here in New York, and I really want it. I sent my resignation letter to Grissom. I’m really sorry Nick, but I’ve met this really nice guy here…and our relationship wouldn’t have worked out. You being a country boy and me a city girl. I’m sorry.”
The answering machine beeped.
Nick wondered if Greg felt like this when he broke up with him. He probably felt worse. Nick didn’t love her; he only went with her so he could make his parents proud of him.
(A knock roused him from his light doze.
Getting up and walking to the door, he opened it, in front of him, stood a shaking, and crying Greg.
“Greg? What’s wrong?” he ushered the man into his home.
He immediately went to the couch and sat down, pulling his knees to his chest, “You remember that person I said that I was dating…right?”
Nick nodded, “Yeah.”
Greg pulled something from his pocket and handed it to him.
‘I can’t do this any longer. It’s too much to put up with the ridicule of my employees, and the total abandonment of my family. I’m sorry Greg, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t even know why we started this relationship. I should have listened to my mother and found someone more marital. Living in a relationship like this is way too much.’
“What does she mean, ‘in a relationship like this’?”
Greg buried his head in his knees, “He means, in a relationship with another guy.”
Nick was quiet.
He sighed and got up, “It was probably a bad idea to talk to you about this.” He muttered as he wiped away the tears, “I’ll just leave now.”
Nick reached out and grabbed Greg’s wrist, “Don’t go.”)
Dou ka kono mama waratteitai anata wo kizutsuke sasenaide
Toki ga tatsu tabi usurete itta anna moi kurikaaeshitekunai
Ashita anata no kimochi ga hanarete mokitto kawarazu ai shiteiru
Ashita anata ni boku ga mienakute mo kitto kawarazu ai shiteiru
I wish to smile as it is. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.
don't want to repeat such feelings, which have kept fading each time.
Even if you don't love me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
Even if you don't see me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
There was a knock at the door early next morning, just as Nick was getting ready to go to bed.
He sighed and walked to it, opening the door, and blinked, surprised.
“Greg?”
The man in front of him looked really tired, dark circles were under his eyes. He gave a tired smile, “Hey Nick, can I crash here? I left my keys at work, in my locker and I really don’t feel like going to get them.”
“Sure…” Nick said as he opened the door wider for him.
Greg smiled tiredly, “Thanks.” He stumbled through the door, and nearly fell, if Nick hadn’t caught him in time.
“How long have you been up?” Nick asked, struggling to get the dead weighted man to the couch.
Yawning again, he looked at his watch, “Nearly forty-eight hours.”
“You usually pull more than forty-eight, but you’re never this tired…”
He stretched slightly as he sat on the couch, “I haven’t been getting much sleep lately, karma’s a bitch and she’s determined to make me feel bad…” he laid down on the couch, his face resting in the cushions, “I knew it was a good idea to get this couch.”
Nick stared at the man lying on the couch, “Need a blanket? Pillow?”
Greg shook his head, “No…I’ll be fine.” Reaching out, he grabbed Nick’s hand, “I’m sorry.” He whispered before drifting off.
Dou ka boku dake wo mitsumeteite Dou ka kono te ga togukenú iyou
Please, only look at me. Please, don’t let our hands separate.
Nick looked at their intertwined hands; he noticed that there was a small smile on Greg’s face as he slept. He sighed, kneeling down beside the couch, “It’s okay G, it’s not your fault.”
I WILL WALK TOGETHER, to future not promised to yet
He ran his free hand through Greg’s hair before gently pulling his hand from Greg’s.
Leaning over, he carefully kissed his forehead, and pulled the throw from the back of the couch over him.
“Night Greg.” He whispered as he shut the lights off and went to his bedroom.
Greg opened his eye, looking around, before opening the other.
Sitting up, he looked around him, and got up, taking the throw with him, cracking Nick’s bedroom door slightly, he heard the shower running.
It keeps walking together, to the future which you are.
Smiling to himself, he quietly made his way to the bed and crawled into it, snuggling into the pulled down comforter, he slowly drifted off, never hearing the bathroom door open, or the bed sinking in as someone else crawled in behind him.
Letting out a sigh, he unconsciously snuggled into the arms that wrapped around him.
“I love you…”
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So, last chapter, and I thank all of you for reviewing...really...it makes me happy to know you like it. While I'll admit, this ending is left open, I have somewhat of a sequel in my mind, but since I have a Psychology paper due tomorrow, I can't type it up right now. Plus, I'm also working on two other stories, a two-parter...which isn't much different from this one, but, seeing as this one has a happy ending...and the other...
I'll see if I can get them typed up.
You guys don't think it's annoying that I used Japanese songs as the base of the story do you? Cause I know some people who can't stand the fact that some use foreign songs...
I think that my stories just flow better with these types of songs [<= *biased because she is a total Jrock freak*]
So please comment, and don't let the wierd lyrics throw you off ^_~
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 04:21 am (UTC)I planned on making it sad...but...I guess you could thank someone...
*coughs*
Anyway, glad you like it, and thank you for reading!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 04:51 am (UTC)Anyway!
This was such a great story. 100% A+ and all that jazz. You really did a great job with the angst part...my chest aches. But it's okay.
I can't wait to read what else you have. Like you, I should be doing my homework...
Hooray!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 04:58 am (UTC)Not to say anything about the next ones though...
I'm glad you liked it...my talents are in writing sometimes...and I can really get ahead of myself...
I did my homework..the joys of being a sophmore...and having psychology...
Now, its time for me to go to bed, it is once again midnight, and I have to go to school tomorrow...then I have a 5 day weekend!
Plus my head is killin me...as is my arm...
Glad you like it!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 06:42 am (UTC)Anyway, I love the way this ended. It definitely feels like there could be a sequel, but overall, it works fine the way it is.
A stylistic thing that I noticed was the use of brackets to set off the flashbacks, and the way the flashbacks were often nested in the current time. It almost reads like poetry in this way, and the shorter paragraphs really emphasize that.
I really enjoyed reading this, and look forward to more of your work.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 10:06 pm (UTC)As for Utada Hikaru, I know what you mean, which is why I'm more of the person to listen to the rock band-ish people, so that when they decide to sing in English...it makes little sense... XD
The brackets are something that I just started to use, seeing as my old way of depicting flashbacks were *flashback* *end flashback* but..that's way too annoying.
I write in short paragraphs, mostly because my brain is too scattered to write those ridiciously long nonsense paragraphs.
Poetry? Really? I'll take that as a major complement.
I'm trying to get my Valetines Day fic written, but seeing as I didn't finish it during first, second, third, or forth block...I'll have to do it by memory...
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I plan to have another one up soon...hopefully tonight sometime...
Thank you for reading.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 08:39 pm (UTC):sighs happily:
You've been seriously bringing out my sappy side, lately.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 08:50 pm (UTC)Sleepy-sick! Greg is even better...and before I start to ramble on about that...let me move on
Yay! Glad I could bring out the sappy side...though...with Reila in my head as I type *is currently washing dishes* then you'll feel right at home with the no hope-ness of it =D