Fic: Dig the Hole Wide and Deep (25/?)
Dec. 2nd, 2007 10:47 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Dig the Hole Wide and Deep
Rating: NC-17 for bad language and sexual descriptions.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Warnings: None. If you made it through Chapter’s 22 and 24, you can handle anything.
Summary: Alan earns his fee.
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is a sequel to ‘Putting Down Roots’ which you can find
here
Previous parts of this story can be found here
Alan looked at the man sitting across from him and felt like he should ask for an introduction. This was not his patient. This was the contemptuous, sarcastic, cruel bastard who’d laughed at pulling the wool over his co-workers eyes, the man who’d told Greg he wouldn’t get involved with him on a one-night-stand basis and then kept him dangling on a string having to wait for him to let him in the house he called ‘theirs’. This was the son-of-a-bitch who raped the young man Alan had become so fond of. Finally, here he was and Alan was ready for him. What was it Bobby always said? Oh yeah, “Hello Mr. Stokes. Let’s you and me have a come-to-Jesus-meeting. Right now!”
* * * * * * * * * *
Nick had gotten up in his rage and started pacing around the room. Alan was pleased to see he was a little unsteady on his feet which meant he was still slightly under the influence of the medications he’d been given.
“Nick, please sit back down. We aren’t even close to being through.”
“What else do you need? I dreamed the damn dream because my best friend and so-called boyfriend are fucking each other’s brains out while I’m stuck here in the loony bin.” Nick was still pacing but having to put a hand up to keep himself off the walls.
Alan knew he needed to get his patient to calm down and relax a little and he did not want to have to give him any more medication. “Nick, all we’ve explained is why Warrick was in your dream. There are many other elements we need to explore. I want you to sit down and take a few deep breaths to compose yourself and let’s continue our session.”
Nick stopped pacing and turned around and glared at Alan. “I don’t wanna sit down. I’m tired of being cooped up in here. I wanna go outside and do something.”
Now what? He sounds like a spoiled kid not a grown man. What is this guy up to now? Okay Nicky baby, you want to act like a kid, I’ll treat you like a kid.
“Nick, come back here and sit down right now. We are not through and you are not going outside until we complete our work.”
Nick actually pouted a little; slouched over to his chair and just slumped down in the chair. He threw a leg across one of the chair arms, let out a big, dramatic sigh, crossed his arms over his chest and just glared at his doctor.
“Sit up straight Nick; put your hands on the chair arms and take 5 deep cleansing, relaxing breaths.” Nick just sat there glaring and pouting.
Alan stayed very calm, looked at Nick and said in a very stern voice, “Nick, you will do as you’re told NOW.”
Nick gave another deep sigh, slowly sat up, assumed the position and started his breathing exercises but it was obvious he was not paying any attention to his form. Alan leaned over and put his hand on his arm and shook him gently. “You can pout all you want but you will mind me right now. Do you understand?”
Nick looked at him for a second or two, huffed a little and said, “Okay.” He sat up and began to breathe properly.
Alan sat back and tried to figure out what had just happened. He’d seen sad, mad, scared, depressed and defiant. He had never seen this latest….what ever the hell it had been. One minute his patient was furious, cursing and generally being a bad ass and then he’d seemed to devolve into some sort of rotten kid. He wondered what he would be dealing with when Nick opened his eyes.
* * * * * * * * * *
Bobby was on the spot. He’d just been called back in but Greg was sleeping so soundly, he’d not even heard the cell phone. He was just getting ready to wake him up when he heard the front door open. He walked out of the bedroom and saw Steve walking down the hall towards him. He met him halfway with a kiss that left both of them panting for breath.
“What are you doing back home, hon?”
“Believe it or not, we got a bomb threat at the office and since everyone had to leave the building anyway, TPTB decided to send everyone home and get the place exterminated. Talk about multi-tasking. I decided to see if I couldn’t spend some quality time in bed with two hot guys for a change. What are you doing up anyway?”
Bobby just shook his head and softly sang to his lover, “If it weren’t for bad luck, we’d have no luck at all.”
Steve groaned softly, “When you start singing Hee Haw tunes to me, I know I’m not gonna like what’s coming. What’s happened?”
Bobby quickly caught him up and told him with luck, he’d only have to be gone for an hour or two. The ATF agents had come to pick up the latest group of guns he’d tested and no-one knew which ones they were supposed to take. He told him to crawl in with Greg just in case and gave him a condensed version of their morning. He did tell him, Greg had one bad incident but he’d gotten him calmed down. He did NOT tell him about the ‘baby vamp attack’. Bobby wasn’t keeping secrets from his long time partner; he just wanted to see if Greg snuggled up to Steve the way he did him.
Bobby left and Steve thought about whether he wanted to grab a quick nap with Greg or just set up and read. He let out a yawn that almost made his jaw crack and thought to himself, well that settles that.
He crawled into bed and got settled. He let out a deep sigh and rolled over on his back and closed his eyes. A few minutes later, his eyes flew wide open when a warm, nice smelling body landed on top of him. Greg snuggled and nestled against him until he was lying across his chest with his head tucked firmly under his chin. Steve was staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what the heck he was supposed to do now when he felt lips settle against his neck and his human blanket let out a small, contented sigh.
Bobby, I swear I am gonna kill you when you get home. You knew he was gonna do this and you didn’t warn me. Your ass is gonna pay for this one baby!
When Bobby came back into the bedroom almost two hours later, he took one look at his spouse covered in a Greg skin and had to leave the room quickly so he could laugh his ass off.
* * * * * * * * * *
Back at the clinic, Alan was trying to figure out who he was going to be talking to in a few seconds. He sat quietly and waited as Nick completed his last breath and then opened his eyes and looked at him. He seemed to be his normal self.
“Nick, you told me that Warrick bent his head and began to suck on Greg’s throat. When you described those frames to me, you were upset, your voice was shaking and I could hear pain in your tone. What made you so upset?”
“He tilted his head to one side, sort of baring his throat to him.”
“And why did that upset you?”
“The first night we were together, when I finally told him how I felt about him, I held him in my arms and bent to kiss his throat. My mouth was right over his pulse point and I could feel his heart beat. I could feel his blood pulsing just under the skin. I could have bit down and punctured his jugular vein. He should have been guarding himself against me but he tilted his head and just offered his life’s blood to me. It was the most erotic moment I’ve ever shared with anyone. Now he was doing it with Warrick. He was offering his throat to someone else. But, I cared for him and I didn’t take his blood. Warrick only wanted his body and he bit him and the blood started to flow. Do you know how many nights I held him and couldn’t get close enough to him? God I was inside his body, balls deep and it still wasn’t close enough. There were so many times when I thought, if I bite, if I taste his blood, I will have his life force. He will be inside me and part of me and maybe then this ache for him will be eased. I’ve got to get over him. I’ve got to stop wanting him the way I do. I just can’t do this anymore.”
Nick was getting agitated again and Alan began to speak to him in a soft, calm voice. “Nick, remember this was not real. This was a dream, a bad, upsetting dream but it was not real. It did not happen. You have identified two important components of the dream. We know why Warrick was in the dream and why he bit Greg.”
“We do? You do maybe but I don’t know where that came from.”
“You just got through telling me you have thought about biting Greg from the moment you two got together. But you knew that would not be an acceptable act so you had someone else act out your fantasy in your dream.”
Nick leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “If you say so Doc.”
“You said Warrick told Greg to walk over to the chair; the chair you were sitting in and bend over. But he didn’t seem to see you sitting there and he put his hands on your thighs. Is that correct?”
“Yeah that’s what happened. He was bent over so far, his face was practically in my crotch. I could see over his back and I could see Warrick start to enter him.”
“How did you know he hadn’t used any lube, Nick?”
“I didn’t see any and his cock wasn’t shiny; neither were his hands.”
“Then you said just as he penetrated Greg, you saw barbs spring out of his penis.”
“Yeah, I screamed as loud as I could but he rammed himself inside him and Greg let out this horrible scream of pain and then I felt his blood splash down on my feet and legs.”
Alan knew they were almost through and Nick would either break and admit what he had done or he would retreat completely.
“Warrick started laughing and he said, Uh, what was it he said….”
Nick looked up at Alan with the saddest expression on his face and said, “He said, ‘So, you think you’re the only one who gets to rape him? Once you treated him like that you made him fair game for anyone else who wants a nice bloody piece of ass.’”
“Why did he say that Nick? Why did he think you ‘got to rape’ Greg? Was that something else you thought about doing when you two were together?
“I don’t know why he said that. It was a dream; a fucking, sick dream. Why would I have to rape Greg? We were living together.”
“Were you Nick? Were you really living together? How long did it take Greg to get all his stuff out of your place when you two broke up? How many trips did he make?”
“He didn’t…I packed his stuff for him.”
“What did you pack Nick? You two were together for five months. Greg strikes me as a sort of pack rat. He must have had tons of stuff at your place. What did you pack for him? Did you ever think about raping Greg? Why did Warrick say that?”
“I don’t know. Shut up, Shut up. He didn’t have hardly anything at my place. I don’t know why Warrick said that. Shut up. Stop asking the same thing over and over.” Nick was extremely upset now. He was up walking rapidly back and forth in his room.
Alan also got up and began to advance on Nick. They were interrupting each other. Alan with his questions and Nick with his evasions.
“Warrick had to have some reason for saying that Nick, dream or no dream. Every thing else that happened had a basis in fact or fantasy. So tell me Nick, did you rape Greg or did you just want to? Which was it big man? You’ve got at least 25 pounds on him and I’ve seen you lift weights. Did you like hurting him? DID YOU RAPE A SWEET MAN WHO JUST WANTED TO LOVE YOU?”
Nick let out a wail that made the hair stand up on Alan’s arms. He backed away from him until his back hit the wall and he slid down the wall. He was shaking his head back and forth and trying to keep Alan away from him. Suddenly, he went completely still. He looked up at Alan with such hate in his eyes that Alan instinctively backed up.
“You fucking bastard. You have no idea what you’re talking about. You with your degrees and all your fancy letters hanging on your walls. Men can’t be raped. Only women can be raped. Men just want to stick their dicks in something warm and wet. But it’s never rape. It doesn’t happen. If I tried to tell someone I was raped, no one would believe me. Because boys don’t get raped. They’re always trying to get a peek, to look at something they shouldn’t and look how young they can start. A guy can get punished for doing something bad. You don’t bring food in the living room and you don’t spill it all over the carpet and then talk back when you’re told to go to your room. You get what you deserve and you deserve punishment but it’s not rape. How can anyone say it’s rape? Look at that; you’re so bad, even when you’re punished you act like a guy and your pee-pee gets big and stuff comes out of it.”
Nick ran out of breath at that point and just sat there on the floor mumbling to himself. He had his arms wrapped around his legs and was pulled into a tight ball. He kept saying, “I can’t tell. Guys don’t get raped. It’s all my fault and everyone will know what a sex-freak I am. A freaking sex nut.”
Alan stumbled backward until his legs hit his chair and he collapsed. Of all the things he thought would come out, this wasn’t it. He’d had an idea way in the back of his mind that something had happened to Nick when he was a child. He thought maybe he’d experimented with a playmate and got caught. He never expected this. He needed to get somewhere quiet and try to make sense of the word vomit Nick had just spewed out. Thank God, he’d switched on the small tape recorder he kept in his Day-Timer. He knew he needed to listen carefully not only to the words but also to the voice saying those words. But for right now, he had a patient in extreme distress and he needed to take care of him.
“Nick, Nicky. Come on son, you need to get up and let’s take a nice warm bath and get you in bed. You’ve had a very busy day and you need your sleep.” Alan reverted back to the firm, adult voice; mainly because the end of Nick’s breakdown had sounded like the little kid he’d met before. Only this little kid was scared and hurting, not bratty.
“Come on little man. I’m gonna come over there and help you up now, Okay?”
Nick looked up at him and said softly, “Are you mad at me?”
“Oh Nicky, why would I be made at a good boy like you? Come on now, you need a bath and then some sleep. Let me help you up.”
Alan walked over and bent down and put his hands out. Nick looked at him for a second and then slowly raised his hands and put them in his. “That’s my good boy. Come on now. Let’s go to the bathroom and I’ll run your bath. You’re tired aren’t you?”
“Yes sir, but I can take my own bath.”
“Of course you can my boy, but I’ll just get the tub ready for you.”
Alan helped Nick climb to his feet and led him over to his chair. He sat him down in the chair and went into the bathroom and started filling the whirlpool tub with warm water. He came out and saw that Nick was sitting quietly in his chair. He was dazed and Alan knew his medical cocktail, followed by his abrupt emotional storm was playing havoc with his responses. He also knew that right now, the best medicine for his suffering patient was some sound sleep.
He got clean sleep pants and a t-shirt out and took them into the bathroom. He saw the tub was full, turned off the water and started the jets. He went back out and gently put his hand on Nick’s shoulder. He knew he was right about Nick’s current mental and emotional state when Nick didn’t even jump. “Come on Nicky, the tub is just right. Let me help you into the bath.”
He led the completely compliant man into the bathroom and told him to take his clothes off and get into the tub. Nick just looked at him. For a number of reason’s, personal and professional, Alan could not remove Nick’s clothes but he realized Nick was unable to care for himself right then. He went over to the wall, pressed the intercom button. He got an almost immediate response. “If Charles is still here please ask him to come to Mr. Beuhler’s room and bring Russell.”
The voice coming from the wall had almost no distortion. “Dr. Perkins, this is Russell; I made Uncle Charles go home a couple of hours ago. His arm was hurting pretty bad.”
“Can you handle Nick by yourself Russell?”
“I sure can. I’ll be right there.”
True to his word, Russell tapped on the door less than three minutes later. He came to the bathroom and asked what he could do. Alan told him he needed Nick to relax for at least ten minutes in the whirlpool but Nick did not seem to be able to remove his clothes and he was afraid for him to stay in the tub. Russell just smiled, walked over to Nick and said, “Hi Nicky, do you want me to help you with your bath again?”
Nick looked up at the familiar voice and nodded. Russell had him undressed and shielded with the towel and in the tub in minutes. He fastened the reclining pillow against the back of the tub and gently pushed on Nick’s shoulder until he lay back against the soft wet pillow. Alan watched a master at work. He motioned Russell to come out side the bath with him. He told him to watch Nick closely; keep him in the warm water for ten minutes then get him out, into clean sleep pants and into bed.
“Do you have any thing with you to pass the time, Russ?”
“Yeah, I have the new Harry Potter. I’m just now getting around to reading it.”
“God, you are such a kid.” Alan looked at the young man with so much affection for a moment he looked more like his father than his employer. “Go get your book. I want you to stay here with him until Phillip comes on duty in” Alan took a quick look at his watch, “two more hours. Order anything you need from the kitchen but don’t let him out of your sight. If you have to take a pee, leave the door open and watch him over your shoulder.”
“Would you rather I didn’t read?”
“No, if you’re sitting beside him, I know you will be aware of him and keep an eye on him. Take care of him Russ. He’s had a bad two days and I’m not just too sure how he’s going to handle all the shit that’s come to light.”
“Don’t worry; I really like him. He’s a sweet guy and he’s helped a lot of people while he’s been here. He deserves help himself. I know you’ll make him well.”
“God sometimes I wish you didn’t hero-worship me so much.”
“Who says it’s hero-worship? I just really want a Wii for my birthday.”
Alan looked at his young friend and made a threatening gesture toward him. Russell just grinned at him, patted him on the shoulder and turned to go back into the bathroom to care for Nick. Just as he disappeared through the door, he looked back and said, “Gotcha.”
* * * * * * * * * *
Alan headed for his office. He closed and locked his door behind him, walked over to his mini fridge and pulled a bottle of Smirnoff vodka out of the freezer. He poured a stiff shot in a high-ball glass and collapsed in his comfortable chair. He drank the vodka down in one steady motion. He carefully poured a second glass, set it down on his desk, reached in his pocket and pulled out the tape recorder. He set it on the desk in front of him, picked up his glass and took a long pull. He put his finger on the ‘play’ button and thought to himself I’d rather walk on burning coals bare-foot than take this trip through Nick’s sick mind. He ignored the small voice that said, Yeah, especially when you don’t really know what the fuck happened in that room let alone what happened to Nick Stokes when he was a kid. Start the recorder, numb-nuts and let’s see if we can figure this out.
Rating: NC-17 for bad language and sexual descriptions.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Warnings: None. If you made it through Chapter’s 22 and 24, you can handle anything.
Summary: Alan earns his fee.
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is a sequel to ‘Putting Down Roots’ which you can find
here
Previous parts of this story can be found here
Alan looked at the man sitting across from him and felt like he should ask for an introduction. This was not his patient. This was the contemptuous, sarcastic, cruel bastard who’d laughed at pulling the wool over his co-workers eyes, the man who’d told Greg he wouldn’t get involved with him on a one-night-stand basis and then kept him dangling on a string having to wait for him to let him in the house he called ‘theirs’. This was the son-of-a-bitch who raped the young man Alan had become so fond of. Finally, here he was and Alan was ready for him. What was it Bobby always said? Oh yeah, “Hello Mr. Stokes. Let’s you and me have a come-to-Jesus-meeting. Right now!”
* * * * * * * * * *
Nick had gotten up in his rage and started pacing around the room. Alan was pleased to see he was a little unsteady on his feet which meant he was still slightly under the influence of the medications he’d been given.
“Nick, please sit back down. We aren’t even close to being through.”
“What else do you need? I dreamed the damn dream because my best friend and so-called boyfriend are fucking each other’s brains out while I’m stuck here in the loony bin.” Nick was still pacing but having to put a hand up to keep himself off the walls.
Alan knew he needed to get his patient to calm down and relax a little and he did not want to have to give him any more medication. “Nick, all we’ve explained is why Warrick was in your dream. There are many other elements we need to explore. I want you to sit down and take a few deep breaths to compose yourself and let’s continue our session.”
Nick stopped pacing and turned around and glared at Alan. “I don’t wanna sit down. I’m tired of being cooped up in here. I wanna go outside and do something.”
Now what? He sounds like a spoiled kid not a grown man. What is this guy up to now? Okay Nicky baby, you want to act like a kid, I’ll treat you like a kid.
“Nick, come back here and sit down right now. We are not through and you are not going outside until we complete our work.”
Nick actually pouted a little; slouched over to his chair and just slumped down in the chair. He threw a leg across one of the chair arms, let out a big, dramatic sigh, crossed his arms over his chest and just glared at his doctor.
“Sit up straight Nick; put your hands on the chair arms and take 5 deep cleansing, relaxing breaths.” Nick just sat there glaring and pouting.
Alan stayed very calm, looked at Nick and said in a very stern voice, “Nick, you will do as you’re told NOW.”
Nick gave another deep sigh, slowly sat up, assumed the position and started his breathing exercises but it was obvious he was not paying any attention to his form. Alan leaned over and put his hand on his arm and shook him gently. “You can pout all you want but you will mind me right now. Do you understand?”
Nick looked at him for a second or two, huffed a little and said, “Okay.” He sat up and began to breathe properly.
Alan sat back and tried to figure out what had just happened. He’d seen sad, mad, scared, depressed and defiant. He had never seen this latest….what ever the hell it had been. One minute his patient was furious, cursing and generally being a bad ass and then he’d seemed to devolve into some sort of rotten kid. He wondered what he would be dealing with when Nick opened his eyes.
* * * * * * * * * *
Bobby was on the spot. He’d just been called back in but Greg was sleeping so soundly, he’d not even heard the cell phone. He was just getting ready to wake him up when he heard the front door open. He walked out of the bedroom and saw Steve walking down the hall towards him. He met him halfway with a kiss that left both of them panting for breath.
“What are you doing back home, hon?”
“Believe it or not, we got a bomb threat at the office and since everyone had to leave the building anyway, TPTB decided to send everyone home and get the place exterminated. Talk about multi-tasking. I decided to see if I couldn’t spend some quality time in bed with two hot guys for a change. What are you doing up anyway?”
Bobby just shook his head and softly sang to his lover, “If it weren’t for bad luck, we’d have no luck at all.”
Steve groaned softly, “When you start singing Hee Haw tunes to me, I know I’m not gonna like what’s coming. What’s happened?”
Bobby quickly caught him up and told him with luck, he’d only have to be gone for an hour or two. The ATF agents had come to pick up the latest group of guns he’d tested and no-one knew which ones they were supposed to take. He told him to crawl in with Greg just in case and gave him a condensed version of their morning. He did tell him, Greg had one bad incident but he’d gotten him calmed down. He did NOT tell him about the ‘baby vamp attack’. Bobby wasn’t keeping secrets from his long time partner; he just wanted to see if Greg snuggled up to Steve the way he did him.
Bobby left and Steve thought about whether he wanted to grab a quick nap with Greg or just set up and read. He let out a yawn that almost made his jaw crack and thought to himself, well that settles that.
He crawled into bed and got settled. He let out a deep sigh and rolled over on his back and closed his eyes. A few minutes later, his eyes flew wide open when a warm, nice smelling body landed on top of him. Greg snuggled and nestled against him until he was lying across his chest with his head tucked firmly under his chin. Steve was staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what the heck he was supposed to do now when he felt lips settle against his neck and his human blanket let out a small, contented sigh.
Bobby, I swear I am gonna kill you when you get home. You knew he was gonna do this and you didn’t warn me. Your ass is gonna pay for this one baby!
When Bobby came back into the bedroom almost two hours later, he took one look at his spouse covered in a Greg skin and had to leave the room quickly so he could laugh his ass off.
* * * * * * * * * *
Back at the clinic, Alan was trying to figure out who he was going to be talking to in a few seconds. He sat quietly and waited as Nick completed his last breath and then opened his eyes and looked at him. He seemed to be his normal self.
“Nick, you told me that Warrick bent his head and began to suck on Greg’s throat. When you described those frames to me, you were upset, your voice was shaking and I could hear pain in your tone. What made you so upset?”
“He tilted his head to one side, sort of baring his throat to him.”
“And why did that upset you?”
“The first night we were together, when I finally told him how I felt about him, I held him in my arms and bent to kiss his throat. My mouth was right over his pulse point and I could feel his heart beat. I could feel his blood pulsing just under the skin. I could have bit down and punctured his jugular vein. He should have been guarding himself against me but he tilted his head and just offered his life’s blood to me. It was the most erotic moment I’ve ever shared with anyone. Now he was doing it with Warrick. He was offering his throat to someone else. But, I cared for him and I didn’t take his blood. Warrick only wanted his body and he bit him and the blood started to flow. Do you know how many nights I held him and couldn’t get close enough to him? God I was inside his body, balls deep and it still wasn’t close enough. There were so many times when I thought, if I bite, if I taste his blood, I will have his life force. He will be inside me and part of me and maybe then this ache for him will be eased. I’ve got to get over him. I’ve got to stop wanting him the way I do. I just can’t do this anymore.”
Nick was getting agitated again and Alan began to speak to him in a soft, calm voice. “Nick, remember this was not real. This was a dream, a bad, upsetting dream but it was not real. It did not happen. You have identified two important components of the dream. We know why Warrick was in the dream and why he bit Greg.”
“We do? You do maybe but I don’t know where that came from.”
“You just got through telling me you have thought about biting Greg from the moment you two got together. But you knew that would not be an acceptable act so you had someone else act out your fantasy in your dream.”
Nick leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “If you say so Doc.”
“You said Warrick told Greg to walk over to the chair; the chair you were sitting in and bend over. But he didn’t seem to see you sitting there and he put his hands on your thighs. Is that correct?”
“Yeah that’s what happened. He was bent over so far, his face was practically in my crotch. I could see over his back and I could see Warrick start to enter him.”
“How did you know he hadn’t used any lube, Nick?”
“I didn’t see any and his cock wasn’t shiny; neither were his hands.”
“Then you said just as he penetrated Greg, you saw barbs spring out of his penis.”
“Yeah, I screamed as loud as I could but he rammed himself inside him and Greg let out this horrible scream of pain and then I felt his blood splash down on my feet and legs.”
Alan knew they were almost through and Nick would either break and admit what he had done or he would retreat completely.
“Warrick started laughing and he said, Uh, what was it he said….”
Nick looked up at Alan with the saddest expression on his face and said, “He said, ‘So, you think you’re the only one who gets to rape him? Once you treated him like that you made him fair game for anyone else who wants a nice bloody piece of ass.’”
“Why did he say that Nick? Why did he think you ‘got to rape’ Greg? Was that something else you thought about doing when you two were together?
“I don’t know why he said that. It was a dream; a fucking, sick dream. Why would I have to rape Greg? We were living together.”
“Were you Nick? Were you really living together? How long did it take Greg to get all his stuff out of your place when you two broke up? How many trips did he make?”
“He didn’t…I packed his stuff for him.”
“What did you pack Nick? You two were together for five months. Greg strikes me as a sort of pack rat. He must have had tons of stuff at your place. What did you pack for him? Did you ever think about raping Greg? Why did Warrick say that?”
“I don’t know. Shut up, Shut up. He didn’t have hardly anything at my place. I don’t know why Warrick said that. Shut up. Stop asking the same thing over and over.” Nick was extremely upset now. He was up walking rapidly back and forth in his room.
Alan also got up and began to advance on Nick. They were interrupting each other. Alan with his questions and Nick with his evasions.
“Warrick had to have some reason for saying that Nick, dream or no dream. Every thing else that happened had a basis in fact or fantasy. So tell me Nick, did you rape Greg or did you just want to? Which was it big man? You’ve got at least 25 pounds on him and I’ve seen you lift weights. Did you like hurting him? DID YOU RAPE A SWEET MAN WHO JUST WANTED TO LOVE YOU?”
Nick let out a wail that made the hair stand up on Alan’s arms. He backed away from him until his back hit the wall and he slid down the wall. He was shaking his head back and forth and trying to keep Alan away from him. Suddenly, he went completely still. He looked up at Alan with such hate in his eyes that Alan instinctively backed up.
“You fucking bastard. You have no idea what you’re talking about. You with your degrees and all your fancy letters hanging on your walls. Men can’t be raped. Only women can be raped. Men just want to stick their dicks in something warm and wet. But it’s never rape. It doesn’t happen. If I tried to tell someone I was raped, no one would believe me. Because boys don’t get raped. They’re always trying to get a peek, to look at something they shouldn’t and look how young they can start. A guy can get punished for doing something bad. You don’t bring food in the living room and you don’t spill it all over the carpet and then talk back when you’re told to go to your room. You get what you deserve and you deserve punishment but it’s not rape. How can anyone say it’s rape? Look at that; you’re so bad, even when you’re punished you act like a guy and your pee-pee gets big and stuff comes out of it.”
Nick ran out of breath at that point and just sat there on the floor mumbling to himself. He had his arms wrapped around his legs and was pulled into a tight ball. He kept saying, “I can’t tell. Guys don’t get raped. It’s all my fault and everyone will know what a sex-freak I am. A freaking sex nut.”
Alan stumbled backward until his legs hit his chair and he collapsed. Of all the things he thought would come out, this wasn’t it. He’d had an idea way in the back of his mind that something had happened to Nick when he was a child. He thought maybe he’d experimented with a playmate and got caught. He never expected this. He needed to get somewhere quiet and try to make sense of the word vomit Nick had just spewed out. Thank God, he’d switched on the small tape recorder he kept in his Day-Timer. He knew he needed to listen carefully not only to the words but also to the voice saying those words. But for right now, he had a patient in extreme distress and he needed to take care of him.
“Nick, Nicky. Come on son, you need to get up and let’s take a nice warm bath and get you in bed. You’ve had a very busy day and you need your sleep.” Alan reverted back to the firm, adult voice; mainly because the end of Nick’s breakdown had sounded like the little kid he’d met before. Only this little kid was scared and hurting, not bratty.
“Come on little man. I’m gonna come over there and help you up now, Okay?”
Nick looked up at him and said softly, “Are you mad at me?”
“Oh Nicky, why would I be made at a good boy like you? Come on now, you need a bath and then some sleep. Let me help you up.”
Alan walked over and bent down and put his hands out. Nick looked at him for a second and then slowly raised his hands and put them in his. “That’s my good boy. Come on now. Let’s go to the bathroom and I’ll run your bath. You’re tired aren’t you?”
“Yes sir, but I can take my own bath.”
“Of course you can my boy, but I’ll just get the tub ready for you.”
Alan helped Nick climb to his feet and led him over to his chair. He sat him down in the chair and went into the bathroom and started filling the whirlpool tub with warm water. He came out and saw that Nick was sitting quietly in his chair. He was dazed and Alan knew his medical cocktail, followed by his abrupt emotional storm was playing havoc with his responses. He also knew that right now, the best medicine for his suffering patient was some sound sleep.
He got clean sleep pants and a t-shirt out and took them into the bathroom. He saw the tub was full, turned off the water and started the jets. He went back out and gently put his hand on Nick’s shoulder. He knew he was right about Nick’s current mental and emotional state when Nick didn’t even jump. “Come on Nicky, the tub is just right. Let me help you into the bath.”
He led the completely compliant man into the bathroom and told him to take his clothes off and get into the tub. Nick just looked at him. For a number of reason’s, personal and professional, Alan could not remove Nick’s clothes but he realized Nick was unable to care for himself right then. He went over to the wall, pressed the intercom button. He got an almost immediate response. “If Charles is still here please ask him to come to Mr. Beuhler’s room and bring Russell.”
The voice coming from the wall had almost no distortion. “Dr. Perkins, this is Russell; I made Uncle Charles go home a couple of hours ago. His arm was hurting pretty bad.”
“Can you handle Nick by yourself Russell?”
“I sure can. I’ll be right there.”
True to his word, Russell tapped on the door less than three minutes later. He came to the bathroom and asked what he could do. Alan told him he needed Nick to relax for at least ten minutes in the whirlpool but Nick did not seem to be able to remove his clothes and he was afraid for him to stay in the tub. Russell just smiled, walked over to Nick and said, “Hi Nicky, do you want me to help you with your bath again?”
Nick looked up at the familiar voice and nodded. Russell had him undressed and shielded with the towel and in the tub in minutes. He fastened the reclining pillow against the back of the tub and gently pushed on Nick’s shoulder until he lay back against the soft wet pillow. Alan watched a master at work. He motioned Russell to come out side the bath with him. He told him to watch Nick closely; keep him in the warm water for ten minutes then get him out, into clean sleep pants and into bed.
“Do you have any thing with you to pass the time, Russ?”
“Yeah, I have the new Harry Potter. I’m just now getting around to reading it.”
“God, you are such a kid.” Alan looked at the young man with so much affection for a moment he looked more like his father than his employer. “Go get your book. I want you to stay here with him until Phillip comes on duty in” Alan took a quick look at his watch, “two more hours. Order anything you need from the kitchen but don’t let him out of your sight. If you have to take a pee, leave the door open and watch him over your shoulder.”
“Would you rather I didn’t read?”
“No, if you’re sitting beside him, I know you will be aware of him and keep an eye on him. Take care of him Russ. He’s had a bad two days and I’m not just too sure how he’s going to handle all the shit that’s come to light.”
“Don’t worry; I really like him. He’s a sweet guy and he’s helped a lot of people while he’s been here. He deserves help himself. I know you’ll make him well.”
“God sometimes I wish you didn’t hero-worship me so much.”
“Who says it’s hero-worship? I just really want a Wii for my birthday.”
Alan looked at his young friend and made a threatening gesture toward him. Russell just grinned at him, patted him on the shoulder and turned to go back into the bathroom to care for Nick. Just as he disappeared through the door, he looked back and said, “Gotcha.”
* * * * * * * * * *
Alan headed for his office. He closed and locked his door behind him, walked over to his mini fridge and pulled a bottle of Smirnoff vodka out of the freezer. He poured a stiff shot in a high-ball glass and collapsed in his comfortable chair. He drank the vodka down in one steady motion. He carefully poured a second glass, set it down on his desk, reached in his pocket and pulled out the tape recorder. He set it on the desk in front of him, picked up his glass and took a long pull. He put his finger on the ‘play’ button and thought to himself I’d rather walk on burning coals bare-foot than take this trip through Nick’s sick mind. He ignored the small voice that said, Yeah, especially when you don’t really know what the fuck happened in that room let alone what happened to Nick Stokes when he was a kid. Start the recorder, numb-nuts and let’s see if we can figure this out.
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Date: 2007-12-03 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 06:37 am (UTC)I'd love to see you write a drabble about Steve and Bobby seperate from this, hell I'd love to see an entire fic about YOUR Steve and Bobby that's how much I love them here! (I think part of it is because my friend Paul and I are like that with eachother, baby vampires, okay so we do have sex with eachother when we are in need of release, but umm that's beside the point. Mostly we're just cuddle buddies who find ourselves baby vampiring with eachother. LOL!)
*Smooch* Now I Can go to sleep and sleep well. Thanks luv! *Grin* ... so when can we expect the next chapter? *ducks and runs*
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Date: 2007-12-03 02:06 pm (UTC)You are really turning into a greedy, little consumer. You gobble the stuff up as fast as I can get it posted and then hand me your bowl (so to speak) and say 'I want more, please!'
I'll see what I can do. No promises.
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Date: 2007-12-03 02:14 pm (UTC)I think you know how much I love this story and I love your writing. Believe it or not I can be patient when it comes to such a great story and anything by a prefered author. :) I just like to hold that bowl out as soon as it's empty again because I want you to know that someone loves what you do and wants you to keep it going. There's nothing I hate more about posting my fics and only getting one or two replies to it, one of them usually being my beta and most the time she's the only one that comments. :(
*smooch* Yes yes definately friends in our personal journals ... it'd be cool if you were able to do a Steve/Bobby fic somewhere along the lines someday. *Smooch*
(I really need to get some decent N/G icons. LOL!)
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Date: 2007-12-03 10:57 pm (UTC)