(no subject)
Nov. 25th, 2007 11:21 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jayceepat.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregTitle: Dig the Hole Wide and Deep
Rating: NC-17 for rape, torture and minor blood letting.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Warnings: None.
Summary: Nick has a night-terror of his own.
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is a sequel to ‘Putting Down Roots’ which you can find
here
Previous parts of this story can be found here
Nick was preparing for bed. He’d called his folks and had a long talk with them. He told them almost word for word what he and Alan had talked about. If nothing else came from this long ordeal, the open exchange between Nick and his mother and father was a huge plus. Nick finally realized that his parents loved him completely; not unconditionally, there was a big difference. They expected honesty from him and they expected him to give the very best he had no matter what. They would not allow him to make excuses for his actions but they were more than willing to listen to reasons.
The only thing that still confused Nick was although he knew they were not happy about his sexual orientation, they fully expected him to be as caring and faithful to a male partner as he would have been to a female.
But the relationship they had now was so wonderful and supporting, Nick was willing to spend the rest of his life trying to make them proud of him no matter how things turned out with Greg.
He knew they were concerned about this next step. They felt that somehow they had failed him growing up. They had so much faith in Alan that if he said something happened in Nick’s childhood that caused his current problems then obviously, something happened. The only problem was, neither they nor Nick could come up with anything.
After talking with his folks, Nick had called Bobby and Steve. He thought there was an oddity in the conversation. There was a certain hesitancy that he couldn’t put his finger on but things seemed to get better after he told them he was on the home stretch. When he said he and Alan were going to be exploring his childhood and then his feelings about/for Greg, Bobby came on the line and asked him how he felt about that.
Nick told him honestly, he was scared shitless. He simply could not think of anything that had sent him down his path of self destruction but he was willing to do anything to make things up to Greg. When he hung up, the warmth seemed to be back in their exchanges and Nick decided he must have imagined the earlier coolness.
He put in one quick call to Catherine and made the usual lies about his nephew’s condition but he managed to change the focus from him to what was going on at work and how she and Lindsay were getting on. They talked for almost 15 minutes until she told him she had to go. It took her a little longer now to look good. Nick told her she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and she didn’t need a gallon of face paint to keep her that way. The reason he got away with it was because he meant it completely. He had always thought Catherine was sexy and beautiful and smart and except for the brief ‘reverse forensics’ thing, they had always been very close.
Finally, he called Greg. He found no matter how often he called him, he still got sweaty palms and a flutter in his stomach. When he heard his voice, he felt like the floor was disappearing out from under him. “Hey Greg, do you have a minute for me?”
“Why Nicky Stokes, I always have a minute for you.”
“I’m just getting ready to hit the sack and I wanted to hear your voice the last thing. What are you doing?
“Talk about turning things upside-down; you’re going to sleep and I’m getting ready to go to work. How are things going?”
“Good. Alan says we only have 2 really hot issues to discuss and I think he’s going to get us together for the last one. How do you feel about that?”
“I told him and I’m telling you; what ever it takes to make sure I never get another call like the one I got from Rob. Which reminds me, Rob called me and said he’d been going to see you. When did that happen? What’s up Stokes, you hitting on one of my ‘gay’ friends?”
“No, you crazy person, I’m not interested in anyone but you.”
“Nick, please don’t…!”
“I’m sorry Greg; I know you don’t want to discuss anything personal about us. It’s just that sometimes I miss you so much it slips out. I’ve learned so much about myself and oddly enough, I’ve learned a lot about you and what you need and what I have to be willing to give you.”
“Nick, I don’t want to upset you but I just can’t handle this right now. I’m willing to talk about our problems with Alan acting as moderator but I’m not ready to talk about anything that did or didn’t happen between us. Can you understand, please?”
“Yeah, I can understand, just please don’t hang up. I really need this time with you before I go to sleep. So do you want to know why I’m seeing Rob?”
Greg was so glad to change the subject, he immediately said ‘sure, he did want to know’.
“Well, I realized that Rob was just following your lead and that’s not a criticism of you. It’s just a fact. When you brought him over to the house, he looked to you to see how he was supposed to behave. He wasn’t leading you into trouble, he was just following you. But, he was a real friend to us both when he called you that night. When I finally realized how dangerous my behavior had become, I thought about all the clubs I’d gone to and how often he was either there as a customer or working behind the bar and he never told you. He was protecting you. He didn’t want to spoil things for you. The only reason he called you that night was because he knew I was in danger. I owed him and I needed to apologize to him face to face and thank him for looking out for both of us. You know what’s funny? He’s a really good guy, not quite as smart or crazy as you are but he’s sure fun to spend some time with. He’s really been good for one of the kids here.”
“Oh yeah, he told me about him…uh… Bradley, Brandon…”
“Brady. Brady Markham. He’s almost 18 and he’s been in and out of clinics like this since he was eleven. His folks are really wealthy but all Brady has ever been was a check mark on their list of things to do, You know, get married, buy huge mansion, have son to carry on the family name. Once he was born, they handed him off to servants to raise and he’s never in his life had anyone to care just about him. He’s a doper, a drunk, a cutter and of course, the poor kid is gay to boot. He got the quadfecta of bad luck.”
“Quadfecta? Nick is that a word?”
“Hell I don’t know, I was just taking the term trifecta and adding one more to it.”
“What’s his connection with Rob?”
“Well, it’s pretty damn obvious Rob is gay. The eyeliner and mascara in the daytime is sort of a dead giveaway. We noticed one day when we were in the public room that Brady was actually ease-dropping on us and you know Rob? He got up, walked over, grabbed Brady and pulled him over to join us and I swear I actually heard the kid laugh at one of Rob’s crazy stories. I didn’t even know the kid could laugh. Even Alan is impressed.”
“Nick, are you going to work with Alan tomorrow?”
“No babe, uh, I mean no. He’s got a patient in town that’s sort of had a lapse and he needs to get back to him but we are going to start tomorrow afternoon or evening. Depends on when he gets back here. You need to go don’t you. I don’t want you to be late. I just needed to say good night to you.”
“It’s okay, I was ready when the phone rang and I’ve been throwing a lunch together while we talked. I like saying good night to you. I’ll be even happier when you’re back at work and we’re saying hello at the start of our shift.“
“Is there any chance you will be coming down tomorrow?”
“Uh no I can’t. I’ve got an appointment. Nothing special, just a routine annual checkup but I’ve cancelled twice already and I need to get it over with. I will try to make it the next day though.”
They said their good-byes. Nick knew as he placed the phone back on his night stand that Greg had just lied to him. He prayed again as he had been praying for weeks now that Greg would not find someone new; that he would get a chance to make everything up to him. He also knew he didn’t deserve the chance and if Greg found a new love it would be the end of happiness for him.
* * * * * * * * * *
Greg clicked his phone off and slipped it into his vest pocket. He hated lying to Nick and he was almost sure Nick knew he’d lied. It was a small measure of how far Nick had come that he hadn’t exploded in rage and accused Greg of lying. It was hard to compare the Nick he’d been talking with and visiting for the last few weeks with the Nick of his nightmares. But he knew he had to remember them both and God help him, tomorrow he would be facing Alan and trying to keep the truth from him.
Alan always started the hour by asking him what he wanted to get out of the session. Greg wished he could tell him he wanted to keep the beginning of his night-terror and lose the end. He thought about that afternoon at Lake Mead. That had really happened. He’d really lain in Nick’s arms and they’d exchanged slow, sweet kisses until they were both so desperate for each other, they had taken a huge chance by getting in the back of the Denali and right there had gotten naked and made hot, sweet love until they were both limp. They had to rest a while before they were able to drive back home. When they finally pulled out of the beach area, Nick had reached over and opened his zipper. He’d slipped his hand inside his pants and held his limp, flaccid cock all the way home. By the time they got home, Greg was no longer limp and flaccid and was ready to start all over again.
Greg shook his head and verbally scolded himself. He knew he had to stop remembering the past and leave it there; in the past. Just because Nick was talking sweet and rational right now did not mean he wanted to take a chance that they could actually become a functioning couple. God, there was so much baggage between them. He really wondered sometimes if it was possible to forgive, forget and start over. He was not happy right now BUT if he could get rid of the nightmares, he knew he could make some sort of a life for himself that did not depend on Nick Stokes being a part of that life.
* * * * * * * * * *
Greg went to work and Nick went to bed but they were part of each other all night. When Greg was not actually working on collection or analyzing data, he could not get Nick out of his mind. All he had to do was get quiet, just sit down or go pour a cup of coffee and he swore he could feel Nick’s hands on him, his body against his. When he closed his eyes, he could taste Nick. The flavor of his sweat and his mouth; he had the sweetest mouth and when he went down on Greg, he would suck and lick him until there was not a drop of cum left in or on him. Then he would move up Greg’s body and kiss him slowly sharing his own taste augmented by Nick’s sexy, sweet wetness. Greg felt the unexpected tears welling up and he yelled ‘NO’ and threw his cup across the break room.
He waited for someone to come in and demand to know what the hell was wrong with him but evidently, everyone was either busy or out of the lab. He cleaned up his mess and went to see if he could find someone, anyone who needed help.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nick was not faring any better. He did actually go to sleep but he started dreaming almost immediately. Only this time, he wasn’t dreaming about making love to Greg. He was dreaming about someone else making love to Greg while he sat in a contraption that bore a frightening resemblance to an electrical chair. His arms were fastened to the arms of the chair by broad leather straps as were his ankles and his calves. He had a heavy leather strap around his forehead forcing his head upright and against the back of the chair.
Warrick was standing behind a naked Greg, his dark hands startling against Greg’s creamy white skin. Warrick was naked also and had a huge erection. As many times as Nick and Warrick had showered together after nasty crime scenes or games or workouts at their gym, he knew Warrick’s body almost as well as his own. Nick could see his erection clearly when Warrick turned Greg towards him and reached down and wrapped his long, musician’s fingers around both their dick’s and started rubbing them together. Nick could hear Greg make those soft, sweet moans deep in his throat that meant he was getting turned on and would need more in a very short time.
Warrick turned his head toward Nick and said, “You know bro, you are one stupid mother-fucker. How the hell could you let a sweet ass like this one get away from you? He’s mine now and I know how to make him happy, don’t I baby?”
Warrick bent his head and began to suck on Greg’s throat. Nick watched Greg tilt his head over to the side. He felt pain, horrible pain; he recognized the movement. It was the same way Greg would expose his throat to him when he kissed and bit at his pulse. When he felt the hot, sweet blood just below the surface and wished he had vampire fangs so he could pierce that white skin and suck that blood out of his body and into his. He wanted Greg so close to him, that sometimes just tasting his blood was the only way he thought he could satisfy his cravings.
Warrick kept kissing and sucking on Greg while he was holding their cock’s together and rubbing them. He winked at Nick as he slipped his hand down a little lower and began to fondle Greg’s balls and the heavy, loose sack that was beginning to tighten with anticipation. He raised his head from Greg’s neck and Nick could see blood on his lips. He had bitten Greg so hard the blood was flowing and Greg was just hanging in his arms almost unable to stand on his own two legs.
Warrick fastened his mouth over Greg’s and kissed him deeply. He pulled back and told Greg to lick his blood off his mouth. Greg started cleaning him before he even finished the sentence. He asked Greg if he wanted him to fuck him or suck him. Greg sighed one word; “fuck”! Warrick walked him over to the chair where Nick was bound. He told him to lean over and put his hands on the seat of the chair. Greg didn’t seem to see Nick in the chair so when he put his hands on the chair seat, he was actually putting his hands on Nick’s thighs. ‘Rick told him to spread his legs apart, he wanted clear access. Just as he started to enter Greg, Nick noticed that he had no lube on his cock or his fingers. He was poised at Greg’s opening and Nick realized he was going to take him dry and he screamed ‘NO’ just as Warrick forced his huge cock inside Greg. Nick saw just as he lunged forward that Warrick had what looked like barbs growing out of his dick and when he penetrated Greg, there was a horrible scream of pain followed by blood pouring out of Greg and spilling on Nick’s feet. He felt the hot blood splash on him and again screamed ‘NO’. Warrick started to laugh and said, “So, you think you’re the only one who gets to rape him? Once you treated him like that you made him fair game for anyone else who wants a nice bloody piece of ass.”
Nick woke up screaming. Within seconds Charles was at his side trying to get him calmed down. He was too deep in his dream to realize where he was and he was fighting hard. He was also screaming and crying at the same time. One of the nurses ran into the room and Charles yelled at her to go wake Alan and tell him to get there ASAP and get him some help.
Two more orderlies ran into the room and tried to help Charles hold Nick down.
When Charles first entered the room, he wanted to keep Nick from hurting himself but now he and the two orderlies were just trying to keep him from hurting them. Alan came into the room on a dead run and threw himself on top of the fighting, screaming, hysterical man on the bed. He was yelling for a syringe of morphine and he wanted it now. The floor nurse was there in less than 60 seconds with the medication, but it took a while for them to get a spot where Alan could get the needle into Nick and not one of them. Even after he had injected the entire contents of the syringe Nick kept on fighting them until he just passed out and went limp.
Everyone was too hyped up to just let go of Nick and so it took a few moments before they all let him go and stood up. Alan was leaning over trying to catch his breath. Charles had collapsed on the floor beside Nick’s overturned night stand. The two orderlies were sort of leaning on each other. Alan finally was able to get a deep breath and slowly stood up. He looked at his staff. There were injuries; Charles had a gash on his upper arm where he’d landed on Nick’s broken water carafe. Both orderlies had split lips, one of them had what was going to be a spectacular black eye and Alan realized he was going to be eating oatmeal and soup for a few days if the pain in his jaw was any indication. He took another deep breath and asked, “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”
Evidently no one did.
Alan ordered Charles into the first floor minor surgery room to have his arm cleaned, dressed and stitched. He told the two orderlies to help him down there and have their wounds cared for at the same time. He told the night nurse to call in their back up nurses and get housekeeping up there to get the room put back together. He had Nick moved to another room for the night. This one had a bed with restraints. It’s a good thing Nick was out because if he’d seen the leather straps being fastened around his arms and legs, he would have freaked out all over again.
Alan told them to keep a round the clock watch on Nick and call him the second he showed signs of waking. He went back to his room, looked at himself in the mirror and groaned out loud. God he looked more like a boxer than a reputable medical healer. He carefully got into the shower and after several applications of very hot water followed by lukewarm almost tepid sprays; he got out, dried off carefully and grabbed a bottle of Lori tabs out of his bathroom vanity. He went back into his bedroom, poured a stiff glass of Jack Daniels and took a very health swig, washing down the Lori tab at the same time.
Yes, I know…taking something as strong as a Lori tab with liquor is not generally recommended but you have to admit, this called for harsh measures.
He crawled back into bed and as he turned out the light and tried to go back to sleep, all he could think about was a line from The Godfather III. Somewhat paraphrased, what was going through his mind was,”Just when I think I’ve got him figured out, he pulls another psycho trip on me.”
* * * * * * * * * *
The Lori tab went a long way to helping with the pain in Alan’s jaw but it did nothing for him as a sleeping agent. He slept fitfully when he did manage to drift off and kept waking up and going down to check on Nick. Finally, after the third trip down, Helene the nurse in charge of watching his problem patient asked him if he was checking on Nick or her. “I know what my instructions are, Alan. I’m watching him like a hawk and something really bad happened to our boy. Even with a skin full of dope, he’s restless, he’s crying in his sleep, he’s talking…”
Alan quickly interrupted her. “What’s he saying, can you tell?”
“If you’d give me a chance to finish my report, I can do better than that.” Helene took a small recorder out of her pocket and placed it on the counter between them. She pressed the play button and Nick’s voice, heavily drugged but still scared to death could be heard begging Greg to forgive him. He said something about ‘never meant to do that to you’ and ‘never thought it would put you in danger from” and then nothing but soft helpless sobs. That went on for a few seconds then Nick’s voice was stronger, almost a growl and he said, he would kill and the word was garbled. He would kill anyone who dared to hurt him again.
Alan sighed. Everything was coming to a head and it was happening too fast. He needed the precipitating incident before he worked on Nick and Greg as a couple. He knew that was what was driving this duality that Nick was experiencing. Oh Shit, Greg. He knew he could not leave Nick, not now but Greg sounded so lost when he spoke with him. He thanked Helene, promised her he would not be back until she called him to tell him Nick was waking up and went back to his room.
While most of the time, he cursed the fact that Bobby Dawson worked graveyard, right now, he was so grateful. He called Bobby at work.
“Ballistics, Dawson speaking.”
“Bobby, its Alan.”
“What’s happened, why are you calling me in the middle of the night?”
“Because you work graveyard and I can. What’s going on with Greg?”
“Uh, don’t you have an appointment with Greg in a few hours?”
“Yes but I’m asking you now, what is wrong with Greg? How serious is it? Why do you know I have an appointment with him?”
Bobby was silent for a minute then he said slowly, “Look Alan, I know we’re all friends and such and that makes it hard on you but I don’t think I should be talking about Greg to you. Besides, Steve and I promised him we’d stay out of it if he called you and made the appointment.”
Alan couldn’t help but smile. When Bobby was upset, just like Nick, the accent got thicker and thicker.
“Bobby, I know all that and I hope you know I would not ask you if it wasn’t really important. How bad is Greg? Could he hold off seeing me for a while?”
Alan’s spirits dropped; Bobby was saying ‘No’ before he even finished his sentence.
“No, he can’t wait. He needs help now. Me and Steve are trying to take care of him but he needs you. Why don’t you want to see him?”
Alan sighed; he was about to do something that went against every ethical standard he lived by. He was going to talk about a patient. “Look Bobby, Nick had another attack for want of a better word tonight.”
Bobby interrupted him asking anxiously if Nick was alright.
“You tell me. Right now he’s strapped down in one of our holding rooms. Charles and two orderlies had to go to surgery for stitches; Charles has a bad cut on his arm, both orderlies have split lips and one is going to have a shiner and I’m going to be eating soft food for the next few days and praying I don’t lose any of my fancy dental crowns. Bobby, I’ve got to know; what does Greg need to see me about.”
Bobby let out a sigh just as deep as Alan’s had been. “Greg is having nightmares and I just don’t mean bad dreams; I mean nasty, gut wrenching, sweat popping nightmares. We’ve been working so hard on this damn gang war I’ve not been keeping as close watch on him as I should and when I took a good look at him….well, I took him home with me and put him in the guest room. I went to bed in our room and got woke up with him crying and screaming. When I got to him he was drenched in sweat, had a pillow over his face so hard he was struggling to breathe and shaking like a leaf. It took forever to get him awake. Steve said he’s just skin stretched over some bones. I know why, when I finally got him awake, he puked until he threw up blood. I took him back to bed with me and by soothing him every time one of the dreams started, we both managed to get some rest. Steve and I are going to keep him in our bed until you can figure out what’s wrong.”
“What’s he dreaming about Bobby?”
“God, I don’t feel like I have the right to even speculate. I heard a few words but he was so far into the dream, he could have been talking about anything,.” Bobby just did not want to spill Greg’s secret not even to the one man who might could help him. He felt like it was betrayal of the young man he and Steve cared for so much.
“Okay! What if I tell you what I think he’s dreaming about and you tell me if I’m right. Is that a deal?”
Bobby reluctantly agreed.
“He’s being raped by the one man who should be loving and caring for him and it’s not just happened once. He’s living all of them over and over in his sleep.”
A loud, heartfelt, “SON OF A BITCH” was all Alan needed to know he was right.
God help him; which wounded man needed him the most?
Rating: NC-17 for rape, torture and minor blood letting.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Warnings: None.
Summary: Nick has a night-terror of his own.
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is a sequel to ‘Putting Down Roots’ which you can find
here
Previous parts of this story can be found here
Nick was preparing for bed. He’d called his folks and had a long talk with them. He told them almost word for word what he and Alan had talked about. If nothing else came from this long ordeal, the open exchange between Nick and his mother and father was a huge plus. Nick finally realized that his parents loved him completely; not unconditionally, there was a big difference. They expected honesty from him and they expected him to give the very best he had no matter what. They would not allow him to make excuses for his actions but they were more than willing to listen to reasons.
The only thing that still confused Nick was although he knew they were not happy about his sexual orientation, they fully expected him to be as caring and faithful to a male partner as he would have been to a female.
But the relationship they had now was so wonderful and supporting, Nick was willing to spend the rest of his life trying to make them proud of him no matter how things turned out with Greg.
He knew they were concerned about this next step. They felt that somehow they had failed him growing up. They had so much faith in Alan that if he said something happened in Nick’s childhood that caused his current problems then obviously, something happened. The only problem was, neither they nor Nick could come up with anything.
After talking with his folks, Nick had called Bobby and Steve. He thought there was an oddity in the conversation. There was a certain hesitancy that he couldn’t put his finger on but things seemed to get better after he told them he was on the home stretch. When he said he and Alan were going to be exploring his childhood and then his feelings about/for Greg, Bobby came on the line and asked him how he felt about that.
Nick told him honestly, he was scared shitless. He simply could not think of anything that had sent him down his path of self destruction but he was willing to do anything to make things up to Greg. When he hung up, the warmth seemed to be back in their exchanges and Nick decided he must have imagined the earlier coolness.
He put in one quick call to Catherine and made the usual lies about his nephew’s condition but he managed to change the focus from him to what was going on at work and how she and Lindsay were getting on. They talked for almost 15 minutes until she told him she had to go. It took her a little longer now to look good. Nick told her she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and she didn’t need a gallon of face paint to keep her that way. The reason he got away with it was because he meant it completely. He had always thought Catherine was sexy and beautiful and smart and except for the brief ‘reverse forensics’ thing, they had always been very close.
Finally, he called Greg. He found no matter how often he called him, he still got sweaty palms and a flutter in his stomach. When he heard his voice, he felt like the floor was disappearing out from under him. “Hey Greg, do you have a minute for me?”
“Why Nicky Stokes, I always have a minute for you.”
“I’m just getting ready to hit the sack and I wanted to hear your voice the last thing. What are you doing?
“Talk about turning things upside-down; you’re going to sleep and I’m getting ready to go to work. How are things going?”
“Good. Alan says we only have 2 really hot issues to discuss and I think he’s going to get us together for the last one. How do you feel about that?”
“I told him and I’m telling you; what ever it takes to make sure I never get another call like the one I got from Rob. Which reminds me, Rob called me and said he’d been going to see you. When did that happen? What’s up Stokes, you hitting on one of my ‘gay’ friends?”
“No, you crazy person, I’m not interested in anyone but you.”
“Nick, please don’t…!”
“I’m sorry Greg; I know you don’t want to discuss anything personal about us. It’s just that sometimes I miss you so much it slips out. I’ve learned so much about myself and oddly enough, I’ve learned a lot about you and what you need and what I have to be willing to give you.”
“Nick, I don’t want to upset you but I just can’t handle this right now. I’m willing to talk about our problems with Alan acting as moderator but I’m not ready to talk about anything that did or didn’t happen between us. Can you understand, please?”
“Yeah, I can understand, just please don’t hang up. I really need this time with you before I go to sleep. So do you want to know why I’m seeing Rob?”
Greg was so glad to change the subject, he immediately said ‘sure, he did want to know’.
“Well, I realized that Rob was just following your lead and that’s not a criticism of you. It’s just a fact. When you brought him over to the house, he looked to you to see how he was supposed to behave. He wasn’t leading you into trouble, he was just following you. But, he was a real friend to us both when he called you that night. When I finally realized how dangerous my behavior had become, I thought about all the clubs I’d gone to and how often he was either there as a customer or working behind the bar and he never told you. He was protecting you. He didn’t want to spoil things for you. The only reason he called you that night was because he knew I was in danger. I owed him and I needed to apologize to him face to face and thank him for looking out for both of us. You know what’s funny? He’s a really good guy, not quite as smart or crazy as you are but he’s sure fun to spend some time with. He’s really been good for one of the kids here.”
“Oh yeah, he told me about him…uh… Bradley, Brandon…”
“Brady. Brady Markham. He’s almost 18 and he’s been in and out of clinics like this since he was eleven. His folks are really wealthy but all Brady has ever been was a check mark on their list of things to do, You know, get married, buy huge mansion, have son to carry on the family name. Once he was born, they handed him off to servants to raise and he’s never in his life had anyone to care just about him. He’s a doper, a drunk, a cutter and of course, the poor kid is gay to boot. He got the quadfecta of bad luck.”
“Quadfecta? Nick is that a word?”
“Hell I don’t know, I was just taking the term trifecta and adding one more to it.”
“What’s his connection with Rob?”
“Well, it’s pretty damn obvious Rob is gay. The eyeliner and mascara in the daytime is sort of a dead giveaway. We noticed one day when we were in the public room that Brady was actually ease-dropping on us and you know Rob? He got up, walked over, grabbed Brady and pulled him over to join us and I swear I actually heard the kid laugh at one of Rob’s crazy stories. I didn’t even know the kid could laugh. Even Alan is impressed.”
“Nick, are you going to work with Alan tomorrow?”
“No babe, uh, I mean no. He’s got a patient in town that’s sort of had a lapse and he needs to get back to him but we are going to start tomorrow afternoon or evening. Depends on when he gets back here. You need to go don’t you. I don’t want you to be late. I just needed to say good night to you.”
“It’s okay, I was ready when the phone rang and I’ve been throwing a lunch together while we talked. I like saying good night to you. I’ll be even happier when you’re back at work and we’re saying hello at the start of our shift.“
“Is there any chance you will be coming down tomorrow?”
“Uh no I can’t. I’ve got an appointment. Nothing special, just a routine annual checkup but I’ve cancelled twice already and I need to get it over with. I will try to make it the next day though.”
They said their good-byes. Nick knew as he placed the phone back on his night stand that Greg had just lied to him. He prayed again as he had been praying for weeks now that Greg would not find someone new; that he would get a chance to make everything up to him. He also knew he didn’t deserve the chance and if Greg found a new love it would be the end of happiness for him.
* * * * * * * * * *
Greg clicked his phone off and slipped it into his vest pocket. He hated lying to Nick and he was almost sure Nick knew he’d lied. It was a small measure of how far Nick had come that he hadn’t exploded in rage and accused Greg of lying. It was hard to compare the Nick he’d been talking with and visiting for the last few weeks with the Nick of his nightmares. But he knew he had to remember them both and God help him, tomorrow he would be facing Alan and trying to keep the truth from him.
Alan always started the hour by asking him what he wanted to get out of the session. Greg wished he could tell him he wanted to keep the beginning of his night-terror and lose the end. He thought about that afternoon at Lake Mead. That had really happened. He’d really lain in Nick’s arms and they’d exchanged slow, sweet kisses until they were both so desperate for each other, they had taken a huge chance by getting in the back of the Denali and right there had gotten naked and made hot, sweet love until they were both limp. They had to rest a while before they were able to drive back home. When they finally pulled out of the beach area, Nick had reached over and opened his zipper. He’d slipped his hand inside his pants and held his limp, flaccid cock all the way home. By the time they got home, Greg was no longer limp and flaccid and was ready to start all over again.
Greg shook his head and verbally scolded himself. He knew he had to stop remembering the past and leave it there; in the past. Just because Nick was talking sweet and rational right now did not mean he wanted to take a chance that they could actually become a functioning couple. God, there was so much baggage between them. He really wondered sometimes if it was possible to forgive, forget and start over. He was not happy right now BUT if he could get rid of the nightmares, he knew he could make some sort of a life for himself that did not depend on Nick Stokes being a part of that life.
* * * * * * * * * *
Greg went to work and Nick went to bed but they were part of each other all night. When Greg was not actually working on collection or analyzing data, he could not get Nick out of his mind. All he had to do was get quiet, just sit down or go pour a cup of coffee and he swore he could feel Nick’s hands on him, his body against his. When he closed his eyes, he could taste Nick. The flavor of his sweat and his mouth; he had the sweetest mouth and when he went down on Greg, he would suck and lick him until there was not a drop of cum left in or on him. Then he would move up Greg’s body and kiss him slowly sharing his own taste augmented by Nick’s sexy, sweet wetness. Greg felt the unexpected tears welling up and he yelled ‘NO’ and threw his cup across the break room.
He waited for someone to come in and demand to know what the hell was wrong with him but evidently, everyone was either busy or out of the lab. He cleaned up his mess and went to see if he could find someone, anyone who needed help.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nick was not faring any better. He did actually go to sleep but he started dreaming almost immediately. Only this time, he wasn’t dreaming about making love to Greg. He was dreaming about someone else making love to Greg while he sat in a contraption that bore a frightening resemblance to an electrical chair. His arms were fastened to the arms of the chair by broad leather straps as were his ankles and his calves. He had a heavy leather strap around his forehead forcing his head upright and against the back of the chair.
Warrick was standing behind a naked Greg, his dark hands startling against Greg’s creamy white skin. Warrick was naked also and had a huge erection. As many times as Nick and Warrick had showered together after nasty crime scenes or games or workouts at their gym, he knew Warrick’s body almost as well as his own. Nick could see his erection clearly when Warrick turned Greg towards him and reached down and wrapped his long, musician’s fingers around both their dick’s and started rubbing them together. Nick could hear Greg make those soft, sweet moans deep in his throat that meant he was getting turned on and would need more in a very short time.
Warrick turned his head toward Nick and said, “You know bro, you are one stupid mother-fucker. How the hell could you let a sweet ass like this one get away from you? He’s mine now and I know how to make him happy, don’t I baby?”
Warrick bent his head and began to suck on Greg’s throat. Nick watched Greg tilt his head over to the side. He felt pain, horrible pain; he recognized the movement. It was the same way Greg would expose his throat to him when he kissed and bit at his pulse. When he felt the hot, sweet blood just below the surface and wished he had vampire fangs so he could pierce that white skin and suck that blood out of his body and into his. He wanted Greg so close to him, that sometimes just tasting his blood was the only way he thought he could satisfy his cravings.
Warrick kept kissing and sucking on Greg while he was holding their cock’s together and rubbing them. He winked at Nick as he slipped his hand down a little lower and began to fondle Greg’s balls and the heavy, loose sack that was beginning to tighten with anticipation. He raised his head from Greg’s neck and Nick could see blood on his lips. He had bitten Greg so hard the blood was flowing and Greg was just hanging in his arms almost unable to stand on his own two legs.
Warrick fastened his mouth over Greg’s and kissed him deeply. He pulled back and told Greg to lick his blood off his mouth. Greg started cleaning him before he even finished the sentence. He asked Greg if he wanted him to fuck him or suck him. Greg sighed one word; “fuck”! Warrick walked him over to the chair where Nick was bound. He told him to lean over and put his hands on the seat of the chair. Greg didn’t seem to see Nick in the chair so when he put his hands on the chair seat, he was actually putting his hands on Nick’s thighs. ‘Rick told him to spread his legs apart, he wanted clear access. Just as he started to enter Greg, Nick noticed that he had no lube on his cock or his fingers. He was poised at Greg’s opening and Nick realized he was going to take him dry and he screamed ‘NO’ just as Warrick forced his huge cock inside Greg. Nick saw just as he lunged forward that Warrick had what looked like barbs growing out of his dick and when he penetrated Greg, there was a horrible scream of pain followed by blood pouring out of Greg and spilling on Nick’s feet. He felt the hot blood splash on him and again screamed ‘NO’. Warrick started to laugh and said, “So, you think you’re the only one who gets to rape him? Once you treated him like that you made him fair game for anyone else who wants a nice bloody piece of ass.”
Nick woke up screaming. Within seconds Charles was at his side trying to get him calmed down. He was too deep in his dream to realize where he was and he was fighting hard. He was also screaming and crying at the same time. One of the nurses ran into the room and Charles yelled at her to go wake Alan and tell him to get there ASAP and get him some help.
Two more orderlies ran into the room and tried to help Charles hold Nick down.
When Charles first entered the room, he wanted to keep Nick from hurting himself but now he and the two orderlies were just trying to keep him from hurting them. Alan came into the room on a dead run and threw himself on top of the fighting, screaming, hysterical man on the bed. He was yelling for a syringe of morphine and he wanted it now. The floor nurse was there in less than 60 seconds with the medication, but it took a while for them to get a spot where Alan could get the needle into Nick and not one of them. Even after he had injected the entire contents of the syringe Nick kept on fighting them until he just passed out and went limp.
Everyone was too hyped up to just let go of Nick and so it took a few moments before they all let him go and stood up. Alan was leaning over trying to catch his breath. Charles had collapsed on the floor beside Nick’s overturned night stand. The two orderlies were sort of leaning on each other. Alan finally was able to get a deep breath and slowly stood up. He looked at his staff. There were injuries; Charles had a gash on his upper arm where he’d landed on Nick’s broken water carafe. Both orderlies had split lips, one of them had what was going to be a spectacular black eye and Alan realized he was going to be eating oatmeal and soup for a few days if the pain in his jaw was any indication. He took another deep breath and asked, “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”
Evidently no one did.
Alan ordered Charles into the first floor minor surgery room to have his arm cleaned, dressed and stitched. He told the two orderlies to help him down there and have their wounds cared for at the same time. He told the night nurse to call in their back up nurses and get housekeeping up there to get the room put back together. He had Nick moved to another room for the night. This one had a bed with restraints. It’s a good thing Nick was out because if he’d seen the leather straps being fastened around his arms and legs, he would have freaked out all over again.
Alan told them to keep a round the clock watch on Nick and call him the second he showed signs of waking. He went back to his room, looked at himself in the mirror and groaned out loud. God he looked more like a boxer than a reputable medical healer. He carefully got into the shower and after several applications of very hot water followed by lukewarm almost tepid sprays; he got out, dried off carefully and grabbed a bottle of Lori tabs out of his bathroom vanity. He went back into his bedroom, poured a stiff glass of Jack Daniels and took a very health swig, washing down the Lori tab at the same time.
Yes, I know…taking something as strong as a Lori tab with liquor is not generally recommended but you have to admit, this called for harsh measures.
He crawled back into bed and as he turned out the light and tried to go back to sleep, all he could think about was a line from The Godfather III. Somewhat paraphrased, what was going through his mind was,”Just when I think I’ve got him figured out, he pulls another psycho trip on me.”
* * * * * * * * * *
The Lori tab went a long way to helping with the pain in Alan’s jaw but it did nothing for him as a sleeping agent. He slept fitfully when he did manage to drift off and kept waking up and going down to check on Nick. Finally, after the third trip down, Helene the nurse in charge of watching his problem patient asked him if he was checking on Nick or her. “I know what my instructions are, Alan. I’m watching him like a hawk and something really bad happened to our boy. Even with a skin full of dope, he’s restless, he’s crying in his sleep, he’s talking…”
Alan quickly interrupted her. “What’s he saying, can you tell?”
“If you’d give me a chance to finish my report, I can do better than that.” Helene took a small recorder out of her pocket and placed it on the counter between them. She pressed the play button and Nick’s voice, heavily drugged but still scared to death could be heard begging Greg to forgive him. He said something about ‘never meant to do that to you’ and ‘never thought it would put you in danger from” and then nothing but soft helpless sobs. That went on for a few seconds then Nick’s voice was stronger, almost a growl and he said, he would kill and the word was garbled. He would kill anyone who dared to hurt him again.
Alan sighed. Everything was coming to a head and it was happening too fast. He needed the precipitating incident before he worked on Nick and Greg as a couple. He knew that was what was driving this duality that Nick was experiencing. Oh Shit, Greg. He knew he could not leave Nick, not now but Greg sounded so lost when he spoke with him. He thanked Helene, promised her he would not be back until she called him to tell him Nick was waking up and went back to his room.
While most of the time, he cursed the fact that Bobby Dawson worked graveyard, right now, he was so grateful. He called Bobby at work.
“Ballistics, Dawson speaking.”
“Bobby, its Alan.”
“What’s happened, why are you calling me in the middle of the night?”
“Because you work graveyard and I can. What’s going on with Greg?”
“Uh, don’t you have an appointment with Greg in a few hours?”
“Yes but I’m asking you now, what is wrong with Greg? How serious is it? Why do you know I have an appointment with him?”
Bobby was silent for a minute then he said slowly, “Look Alan, I know we’re all friends and such and that makes it hard on you but I don’t think I should be talking about Greg to you. Besides, Steve and I promised him we’d stay out of it if he called you and made the appointment.”
Alan couldn’t help but smile. When Bobby was upset, just like Nick, the accent got thicker and thicker.
“Bobby, I know all that and I hope you know I would not ask you if it wasn’t really important. How bad is Greg? Could he hold off seeing me for a while?”
Alan’s spirits dropped; Bobby was saying ‘No’ before he even finished his sentence.
“No, he can’t wait. He needs help now. Me and Steve are trying to take care of him but he needs you. Why don’t you want to see him?”
Alan sighed; he was about to do something that went against every ethical standard he lived by. He was going to talk about a patient. “Look Bobby, Nick had another attack for want of a better word tonight.”
Bobby interrupted him asking anxiously if Nick was alright.
“You tell me. Right now he’s strapped down in one of our holding rooms. Charles and two orderlies had to go to surgery for stitches; Charles has a bad cut on his arm, both orderlies have split lips and one is going to have a shiner and I’m going to be eating soft food for the next few days and praying I don’t lose any of my fancy dental crowns. Bobby, I’ve got to know; what does Greg need to see me about.”
Bobby let out a sigh just as deep as Alan’s had been. “Greg is having nightmares and I just don’t mean bad dreams; I mean nasty, gut wrenching, sweat popping nightmares. We’ve been working so hard on this damn gang war I’ve not been keeping as close watch on him as I should and when I took a good look at him….well, I took him home with me and put him in the guest room. I went to bed in our room and got woke up with him crying and screaming. When I got to him he was drenched in sweat, had a pillow over his face so hard he was struggling to breathe and shaking like a leaf. It took forever to get him awake. Steve said he’s just skin stretched over some bones. I know why, when I finally got him awake, he puked until he threw up blood. I took him back to bed with me and by soothing him every time one of the dreams started, we both managed to get some rest. Steve and I are going to keep him in our bed until you can figure out what’s wrong.”
“What’s he dreaming about Bobby?”
“God, I don’t feel like I have the right to even speculate. I heard a few words but he was so far into the dream, he could have been talking about anything,.” Bobby just did not want to spill Greg’s secret not even to the one man who might could help him. He felt like it was betrayal of the young man he and Steve cared for so much.
“Okay! What if I tell you what I think he’s dreaming about and you tell me if I’m right. Is that a deal?”
Bobby reluctantly agreed.
“He’s being raped by the one man who should be loving and caring for him and it’s not just happened once. He’s living all of them over and over in his sleep.”
A loud, heartfelt, “SON OF A BITCH” was all Alan needed to know he was right.
God help him; which wounded man needed him the most?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 10:26 am (UTC)I did read last chapter as well, just couldn't comment. (Had a bad weekend. Just printed it out and haven't been online until now).
This is angst - just as I love it!
I am thinking about this story so often! How can Greg trust Nick again? How can Nick ever forgive himself? Nick needs to forgive himself if they are ever going to be a couple again. Alan is in for a difficult task.. this is mission impossible, but it has to be done!
*More, more, more*
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 07:49 pm (UTC)I'm doing a lot of re-writing right now trying to figure out which direction to take with these two and also how to finish things off without either dragging it out or ending it abruptly.
This writing gig is not as easy as it looks.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 09:16 pm (UTC)I am so looking forward to see where you take it. I keep thinking about how Nick easily can fall into a path where we will always try to punish himself for what he has done. And that would make everything worse for Greg as well. If Nick doesn't forgive himself, then he keep doing wrong by Greg, because then Greg has to walk on egg(??? what is the phrase... eggeskall) around him.
But how CAN Nick forgive himself? He has to accept that this is a result of some events that led him to react this way.... Alan has to help him with that.
And how can Greg trust him not to fall back on that pattern again later if something bad happens?
Oh, I know you will make a good ending... but I can't stop thinking of alternatived myself. I love this story so much I wish it was me writing it! :-) But I love just reading it as well, because I DO KNOW writing isn't easy. You know how little I get done in a year! ;-)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 10:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 07:53 pm (UTC)I felt that Greg should not be the only one having bad dreams. Of course, he does get to sleep with Bobby and/or Steve so there are certain compensations. (smiles to myself)
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 04:21 pm (UTC)Second ... It's always has to get worse for it to get better doesn't it? (I mean that honestly) ...
*pets the boys*
Great job dear! *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 07:56 pm (UTC)This comes from working around hospitals for so many years. I've got all sorts of pieces of memories floating up to the top of the bit-bucket. Things I read in patients medical jackets and stories I've heard the nurses and orderlies tell during breaks. At long last I have a place to use all of them.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 07:58 pm (UTC)*pets Charles, the orderlies, Alan and Nick!*
Mmmm nightmares are totally worth having when you get to snuggle hot ballistic boys! *snicker*
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 01:52 pm (UTC)