Fic: Dig the Hole Wide and Deep (10/?)
Oct. 23rd, 2007 04:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jayceepat.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregTitle: Dig the Hole Wide and Deep
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Warnings: None
Summary: Greg Spills the Beans.
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is a sequel to ‘Putting Down Roots’ which you can find
here
Previous parts of this story can be found here
The frustration in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Dr. Alan Perkins was one of those people who wanted the answers. He didn’t have to have all the “t’s” crossed and the “I’s” dotted BUT he did like to have a general idea of what was going on and he hadn’t a clue right now.
There was no reason in the world why his ‘mystery’ patient should still be unconscious. He wasn’t really in a coma even; he just didn’t wake up. It had been eight days since Bobby called him and said it was a matter of ‘life and death’. Eight days since he’d gone into Bobby and Steve’s spare bedroom and saw a man who had been…well, tortured was the only word that fit the situation.
Since that time, he’d found out his new mystery patient was Greg’s ass-hole ex-lover. But after talking to Bobby and Judge and Mrs. Stokes and even Greg, it was pretty obvious that Nick was a very sick ass-hole; figuratively and literally.
The surgery had been a complete success. The surgeon who did the repairs to Nick’s rectum was one of the best and the severe jagged rips were now extremely thin lines that were almost completely healed and the last of the stitches had been carefully removed this morning. They were going to leave the colostomy hooked up for a full 3 weeks to make sure there would be no further damage when excretory material began to move through the elimination tract again.
Some of the shallow whip marks were completely healed and thanks to the rigorous attention of Nick’s nurses, the antibiotic ointment, plus the clinic’s special treatment of scars, Nick’s back would be back to it’s normal smooth perfection with only faint silvery lines where they’d had to suture the worst of the lash marks. Even the possible kidney damage had turned out to be a false alarm and they had removed the penile catheter after 4 days.
In short, Alan could not remember when he had last seen such a gorgeous, healthy, well-built, well-hung, COMATOSE patient in his entire medical career. He threw the stapler he’d been juggling across the room in anger and frustration.
His mood was not relieved when his secretary buzzed him and announced Judge and Mrs. Stokes had arrived. For one brief second, Alan was afraid he was going to whimper out loud. Then he sucked it up and told her to escort them in and to get Greg in there as soon as he arrived.
Fortunately, they only had time to introduce themselves, shake hands and get settled with coffee when Greg got there. Alan started to introduce them but they all assured him they had met before. After more fussing with coffee, Greg started to tell Marie, Alan’s receptionist, but she interrupted him and said, “I know, you don’t want those little prissy tasters, you want a dish pan full of coffee. I’m getting it.”
Greg grinned at the Stokes and said, “She’s the main reason we all put up with Alan.” That was pretty much the last time anyone grinned for the next hour or so. First, Judge Stokes said he knew they owed Greg a lot but why was he in on this conversation. Alan said it was because there was a lot to discuss and Greg had answers that would save them a lot of time. Greg swallowed half his cup in one big gulp and prepared himself. He and Alan had gone over this meeting so many times but he still felt like a human sacrifice and he was praying he would come out of it with his heart still beating firmly in his chest and not clutched triumphantly in Mama Stokes beautifully manicured hand.
He started by confessing to Judge Stokes that the whole story about the raid and the ‘mole’ was just a hoax to get him to give Nick a plausible reason for being MIA for a while. Mrs. Stokes started nodding her head halfway through Greg’s ‘confession’. She was not surprised at all. She had thought the whole thing sounded fishy from the beginning. Greg was reminded once again that most of the Stokes clan worked in law enforcement and they were all very sharp people.
It got pretty dicey after that. Judge Stokes got stiller and stiller as Greg began to come clean about the ‘special’ relationship he and Nick had. When he told them that he and Nick had been lovers and had lived together for five months, the judge said NO NO NO, got up and started pacing around the room like a tiger with a sore paw. But again, Mama Stokes did not seem that shocked. Greg looked her right in the face and said, “You don’t seem to be as surprised as Judge Stokes ma’am.”
“I’m not” she got out before her husband interrupted her with a loud “What the Hell do you mean, you’re not!”
“Language Bill, there is no need to be crude just because you’re shocked and angry.”
“Sorry honey, but what do you mean you’re not surprised. Surely you don’t believe this crap uh this hare-brained story do you?”
“Yes, Bill I do. I’ve wondered about Nick ever since high school.”
“What are you talking about? My God we had to put another line in to handle the calls from all the girls.”
“Yes we did. The girls were the ones doing the calling but Nick never had a special girl and even when he did take someone out, there were never more than 3 dates at the most. Didn’t you find that odd?”
“No I didn’t. I found it to be perfectly normal for a good looking boy like Nick.”
“Well, Nick looks just like you when you were younger and I remember you being around so much Papa was talking about adopting you because you spent more time at our place than your own. Now, go on young man. Continue your story.”
Greg was purely miserable. He did not want to be there, he did not want to be discussing his love life or lack thereof with the parents of his ex, most of all, he did not want to be telling the Stokes’ Nick’s secrets when he was helpless and couldn’t decide for himself whether he wanted them to know about his sexuality.
He took a deep breath and continued. “Nick and I were the last two people in the world who should have been in a relationship together” he started. He stopped abruptly when he heard Judge Stokes say, “You got that right.”
Greg stood up, walked over and stood in front of Nick’s father. Alan was wishing right then he had borrowed one of Bobby’s guns because he thought blood shed might occur. Greg looked directly in the judge’s eyes, “You know what Judge Stokes? I’m completely comfortable with giving you respect and not because you’re Nick’s father, but because you’re a man who deserves it. But Sir, I deserve respect also. I’m a decent person who tries to do good, obey the law and protect my friends. I’ve studied hard, I have a masters in chemistry and at the age of 24 I RAN the DNA lab at the number 2 crime lab in the United States. I’ve been published in the Journal of Forensic Science. I go to seminars and people know who I am because of the papers I’ve published. I took a hefty cut in pay to become a CSI but I did it because I knew I could help more in the field than stuck in a lab. I’ve been blown up, beat up and accused of murdering an innocent young man because the ‘innocent young man’ was kicking the shit out of some poor tourist and when I interrupted his fun and his friends by the way, he came at me with a rock.”
Greg took a deep breath but he wasn’t done yet. “Now, I know you don’t approve of my sexual orientation and I can’t do anything about that. But I am not going to let you disrespect me for it nor am I going to let you disrespect your son. I don’t know why I’m like this but I’ve known I was different since my teens. Nick told me he knew before he hit puberty that he didn’t react to things like his friends did. I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve learned the hard way. I’ve been seeing Alan three times a week since Nick and I split up and I probably will be paying him $125.00 a month for the rest of my life but it’s worth it.”
“When I said we shouldn’t have been together, I meant because I was the most immature 32 year old guy on the face of the planet and Nick, well Nick had so many problems I don’t know where to start. I had yearned for Nick for so long, when he told me he wanted me I just went crazy. Oh yeah, I didn’t seduce your darling Nicky. He made the advances.”
Judge Stokes was turning an alarming shade of magenta but Greg was on a roll and unless or until the man actually popped a blood vessel, he was going to get it all out in the open.
“I didn’t want Nick to pay attention to anything else in this world except me. I was like a kid in a candy store. I’d waited and wanted and lusted for so long; I was jealous of anything that took his focus off me. If he wanted to do the dishes I’d tease and torment and dirty things up and throw food and then I’d use sex to distract him. And it worked. Oh boy, did it work and it always worked. It took a lot of time with Alan before I realized that I did it on purpose because when my sex-tactics did work, Nick would get so rough with me he’d hurt me. Then he’d spend hours making it up to me. He’d be gentle with me and care for me and treat my injuries and bring me food in bed and watch anything I wanted to watch on TV and everything would be wonderful for a while until the cycle started all over again.”
“But I was not the only person to blame in this mess. Nick who said he wanted a long-term relationship with me and insisted I spend all my time with him refused to give me a key to the front door of the place he called ‘our’ home. I had to come in through the garage and he would leave the back door open for me. I was not permitted to bring my own music into ‘our’ house. I was only allowed to have two changes of clothing in ‘our’ house. I was given two drawers in the chest in ‘our’ bedroom. Do you see a pattern here? Do you see anything wrong with this picture? And I was so damn stupid and so damn grateful the great Nick Stokes would even look at me I put up with it. I never said a word out loud BUT, I trashed his house.” Greg finally ran out of words and collapsed back in his chair.
There was complete silence in the room. Alan finally said, “Perhaps we ought to take a breather. I’ve been working with Greg for the last 4 days to help him get the courage to tell you that and I know it was equally difficult for the two of you to listen to it.”
Nick’s father raised his head. He’d aged during Greg’s brain dump. He was no longer magenta, he was actually sort of grey now. Mrs. Stokes was crying silent tears with no noise at all; just big wet tears running down her cheeks. Greg got up and went over to her. He knelt down on the floor in front of her chair being very careful not to touch her. He put his hand on the table next to her and balanced himself as he leaned forward slightly.
“I’m so sorry.” He could feel his own tears brimming in response to hers and was determined he would not give in to them. “I wouldn’t have told you this, I wouldn’t have hurt you like this for the world. But Nick wont wake up and Alan says there isn’t a medical reason why he’s not waking up so it has to be either in his head or buried so deep inside his soul he can’t get to it to fix it. Nick has to wake up. I have to be able to tell him I love him and even if he never wants to see me or have anything to do with me again, I have to tell him how sorry I am that I never saw how bad he was hurting or how much help he needed.”
Nick’s mother looked deeply into Greg’s eyes then she nodded very slightly and leaned forward. She put her arms around him and pulled him tightly into her arms. She hugged him and rocked him and all his good intentions went to hell in a hand basket and he cried. He cried like a baby and was rocked gently in her loving arms. She hummed to him and then she told him in a soft, soft voice that all mothers want the very best in the world for their children. She knew that someone who loved her son so much he was willing to empty his bank account and risk his life to rescue him and risk his job to keep his secret was the very best thing in the world for Nick.
As cathartic as it was to be held and accepted by Nick’s mother, Greg still almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Nick’s father pat him on the shoulder. He looked up at the stern older man and watched as he struggled to regain his composure and his dignity. Finally he nodded slightly and said, “All right mother, let the poor boy get up off his bony knees and get comfortable. We’ve still got a lot to discuss. And you young man, you need to know that I can’t just accept this the way my wife can. I’ve spent 70 years thinking that homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of God. I can’t change that over night just because my son is the sinner. But I can and I will work on the Christian concept that you can hate the sin and love the sinner.”
He cleared his throat as Greg got up and reached for the box of Kleenex on Alan’s desk. Alan immediately got a fresh box out and handed it across the desk to Greg to give to Mrs. Stokes. When everyone had taken their seats again and eyes had been mopped and noses furiously blown, Judge Stokes said, “All right Dr. Perkins. You have a theory why Nick isn’t waking up and you felt that Greg had to give us this knowledge as background for that theory. Is that correct?”
Alan cleared his throat, he’d been just a little teary himself during the emotional upheaval. But mostly, he was so proud of Greg. He’d almost jumped out of his chair and yelled ‘YES’ when Greg told Nick’s father that he deserved respect. He had worked so hard to make Greg realize on his own, all by himself that as much as he may have loved Nick, he had been treated shamefully and the fact that he had allowed himself to be treated that way, almost as though it was all he could expect was his own form of mental illness.
He realized he’d just lost a patient and was thrilled because now maybe he could acquire a friend. He had come to admire and genuinely enjoy being around Greg. His brain was truly one of a kind and lord knows he had an off-the-wall personality to match. Life was never dull with Sanders around.
“Yes Sir I do. I think that Nick realizes what has happened, I believe that somewhere, on some level he knows what has been done to his body and what his friends had to do and see to rescue him. I also think that the idea that they would go through that for him is impossible for his rational mind to handle because I believe your son has been in trouble for a long, long time. I think something happened to Nick in his past that started this downhill slide and I think this breakdown, for want of a better word, has been a long time coming. In a way, the relationship with Greg finished him off.”
Greg audibly caught his breath and let out a strangled, painful moan.
“No Greg, not for the reason’s I know you’re thinking. I think it was a case of Nick getting what he’d always wanted but in his mind he didn’t deserve to have it and he didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he couldn’t let you go because from what Bobby has told me, he has been, at the very least, infatuated with you for years. The fact that you were equally infatuated with him, while at first, was heaven eventually tore him apart because he couldn’t see himself as worthy of the affection you lavished on him.”
“Now, since I’m sure this all started years ago I need for you, Mr. and Mrs. Stokes to try to remember if there was anything in Nick’s past that could have been a precipitating event. And secondly, I need you both to go into Nick’s room and tell him over and over again that you know about him and Greg and that you still love him. He’s your son and you will always love him and nothing can ever change that. But you have to mean it. Can you do that?”
Mrs. Stokes said firmly and with sure, quiet, authority, “Yes I certainly can say that; from the bottom of my heart!”
Mr. Stokes was silent. Alan waited and waited and waited and about the time he was ready to kick the sanctimonious shit-head out of his office, Nick’s father raised his head and looked Alan squarely in the eyes and said, “Can I tell my son I love him? You bet your ass I can!”
Alan let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, rubbed his hands together and said, “OK, we have a plan. Let’s go put it into action.”
**********************************
The plan was side tracked while the Stokes went out to get something to eat. Greg went to be with Nick for a while. He had to go back home and grab a few hours of sleep before work. It was agreed that it would be just the parents with him for the next 24 hours. Then Greg was to be in the room with them so Nick could see they weren’t just saying they accepted him but they actually did. Alan was absolutely certain that somewhere in the dark world of his own mind, Nick knew, saw and heard everything that was happening to him.
It was a measure of how hard Judge Stokes was trying that he was the one who said he felt bad about Greg not being allowed to see Nick for 24 hours. Greg thanked him for the thought but said Nick would be in very good hands and this would give him a chance to finish putting his kitchen back together and he needed to take the love of his life, Annabelle, grocery shopping.
During the last 8 days, Greg had spoken often with both Judge and Mrs. Stokes when they called him or he called them to exchange news about Nick. He’d told them all about the renovation’s he was doing to his apartment and about Annabelle. They agreed they had to meet this delightful lady.
Mrs. Stokes frowned and then said, “Greg, If you want to resume your relationship with Nick, why are you renovating your apartment? I thought one of the problems you two had was the fact that you were not truly sharing a living space.”
Greg grinned at her and said, “You know, the worst thing we did was assume that because we had worked together for so long, we knew everything there was to know bout each other. This time if we stand any chance at all, it’s going to be because we take it slow and easy and find out if we have anything in common besides lust.” He noticed that while she smiled and nodded in agreement, Judge Stokes turned his favorite shade of magenta again and turned away. Greg could not help it, “Sorry Judge, I guess that really was TMI wasn’t it?”
Nick’s dad looked at him with a puzzled look and then looked back at his wife. She patted him on the cheek and said, “‘Too Much Information’ dear.”
He glared at Greg, shook his finger at him and told him he did that on purpose. Greg almost fell over. The idea of Nick’s dad teasing him about him making a sex joke was just surreal.
*****************************
Nick’s folks didn’t do exactly what Alan told them to do. They were just too much in charge to follow anyone’s orders completely. What they did was actually better.
They had not been able to think of any incident in Nick’s life, that they knew about, that could have been the precipitator for his emotional problems. So they started telling Nick the story of his life from the moment they first found out there was going to be one more little Stokes. Mama Stokes put the railing down on one side of the bed and pulled her chair up so close she was almost on the bed. She laid her head beside Nick’s, put her arm around him and talked right into his ear. She told him about her excitement at having one more baby, his dad’s pride at still being virile enough to produce one last Stokes, how happy all the other kids were to have another baby to play with.
When her voice began to give out, Mr. Stokes moved the chair to the head of the bed. He put his hand on Nicks shoulder and laid his head on the bed very close to his son. Alan thought it was amazing how much they looked alike when you saw the two of laying so close together. He picked the story up right where his mom left off. They tag teamed each other all through Nick’s life; all the laughter and the tears, the parties and celebrations. They talked about how proud they were of him when he was playing football. It was wonderful that he ran the ball so much and made so many points for their high school, but what impressed his father the most he told him was the way Nick always checked not only his own team mates but also the opposing players any time someone went down on the field. Nick was always the first one there to take off the helmet and check the pupils and reassure the injured player. He said lots of men could be macho but it took a special man to be strong and thoughtful at the same time.
They talked for almost 36 hours. Mama Stokes had to go back to Dallas. As district attorney for such a large city, it was hard for her to get away for any length of time. Nick’s dad said he would stay for another day. As his mother was gathering her things together so Greg could drive her to the airport, they heard a rusty sound that was a little like a kitten mewing. When they heard it again, Mr. Stokes whipped his head around so fast he heard his neck pop. He was looking into the dark, puzzled eyes of his youngest son. His awake youngest son.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Warnings: None
Summary: Greg Spills the Beans.
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is a sequel to ‘Putting Down Roots’ which you can find
here
Previous parts of this story can be found here
The frustration in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Dr. Alan Perkins was one of those people who wanted the answers. He didn’t have to have all the “t’s” crossed and the “I’s” dotted BUT he did like to have a general idea of what was going on and he hadn’t a clue right now.
There was no reason in the world why his ‘mystery’ patient should still be unconscious. He wasn’t really in a coma even; he just didn’t wake up. It had been eight days since Bobby called him and said it was a matter of ‘life and death’. Eight days since he’d gone into Bobby and Steve’s spare bedroom and saw a man who had been…well, tortured was the only word that fit the situation.
Since that time, he’d found out his new mystery patient was Greg’s ass-hole ex-lover. But after talking to Bobby and Judge and Mrs. Stokes and even Greg, it was pretty obvious that Nick was a very sick ass-hole; figuratively and literally.
The surgery had been a complete success. The surgeon who did the repairs to Nick’s rectum was one of the best and the severe jagged rips were now extremely thin lines that were almost completely healed and the last of the stitches had been carefully removed this morning. They were going to leave the colostomy hooked up for a full 3 weeks to make sure there would be no further damage when excretory material began to move through the elimination tract again.
Some of the shallow whip marks were completely healed and thanks to the rigorous attention of Nick’s nurses, the antibiotic ointment, plus the clinic’s special treatment of scars, Nick’s back would be back to it’s normal smooth perfection with only faint silvery lines where they’d had to suture the worst of the lash marks. Even the possible kidney damage had turned out to be a false alarm and they had removed the penile catheter after 4 days.
In short, Alan could not remember when he had last seen such a gorgeous, healthy, well-built, well-hung, COMATOSE patient in his entire medical career. He threw the stapler he’d been juggling across the room in anger and frustration.
His mood was not relieved when his secretary buzzed him and announced Judge and Mrs. Stokes had arrived. For one brief second, Alan was afraid he was going to whimper out loud. Then he sucked it up and told her to escort them in and to get Greg in there as soon as he arrived.
Fortunately, they only had time to introduce themselves, shake hands and get settled with coffee when Greg got there. Alan started to introduce them but they all assured him they had met before. After more fussing with coffee, Greg started to tell Marie, Alan’s receptionist, but she interrupted him and said, “I know, you don’t want those little prissy tasters, you want a dish pan full of coffee. I’m getting it.”
Greg grinned at the Stokes and said, “She’s the main reason we all put up with Alan.” That was pretty much the last time anyone grinned for the next hour or so. First, Judge Stokes said he knew they owed Greg a lot but why was he in on this conversation. Alan said it was because there was a lot to discuss and Greg had answers that would save them a lot of time. Greg swallowed half his cup in one big gulp and prepared himself. He and Alan had gone over this meeting so many times but he still felt like a human sacrifice and he was praying he would come out of it with his heart still beating firmly in his chest and not clutched triumphantly in Mama Stokes beautifully manicured hand.
He started by confessing to Judge Stokes that the whole story about the raid and the ‘mole’ was just a hoax to get him to give Nick a plausible reason for being MIA for a while. Mrs. Stokes started nodding her head halfway through Greg’s ‘confession’. She was not surprised at all. She had thought the whole thing sounded fishy from the beginning. Greg was reminded once again that most of the Stokes clan worked in law enforcement and they were all very sharp people.
It got pretty dicey after that. Judge Stokes got stiller and stiller as Greg began to come clean about the ‘special’ relationship he and Nick had. When he told them that he and Nick had been lovers and had lived together for five months, the judge said NO NO NO, got up and started pacing around the room like a tiger with a sore paw. But again, Mama Stokes did not seem that shocked. Greg looked her right in the face and said, “You don’t seem to be as surprised as Judge Stokes ma’am.”
“I’m not” she got out before her husband interrupted her with a loud “What the Hell do you mean, you’re not!”
“Language Bill, there is no need to be crude just because you’re shocked and angry.”
“Sorry honey, but what do you mean you’re not surprised. Surely you don’t believe this crap uh this hare-brained story do you?”
“Yes, Bill I do. I’ve wondered about Nick ever since high school.”
“What are you talking about? My God we had to put another line in to handle the calls from all the girls.”
“Yes we did. The girls were the ones doing the calling but Nick never had a special girl and even when he did take someone out, there were never more than 3 dates at the most. Didn’t you find that odd?”
“No I didn’t. I found it to be perfectly normal for a good looking boy like Nick.”
“Well, Nick looks just like you when you were younger and I remember you being around so much Papa was talking about adopting you because you spent more time at our place than your own. Now, go on young man. Continue your story.”
Greg was purely miserable. He did not want to be there, he did not want to be discussing his love life or lack thereof with the parents of his ex, most of all, he did not want to be telling the Stokes’ Nick’s secrets when he was helpless and couldn’t decide for himself whether he wanted them to know about his sexuality.
He took a deep breath and continued. “Nick and I were the last two people in the world who should have been in a relationship together” he started. He stopped abruptly when he heard Judge Stokes say, “You got that right.”
Greg stood up, walked over and stood in front of Nick’s father. Alan was wishing right then he had borrowed one of Bobby’s guns because he thought blood shed might occur. Greg looked directly in the judge’s eyes, “You know what Judge Stokes? I’m completely comfortable with giving you respect and not because you’re Nick’s father, but because you’re a man who deserves it. But Sir, I deserve respect also. I’m a decent person who tries to do good, obey the law and protect my friends. I’ve studied hard, I have a masters in chemistry and at the age of 24 I RAN the DNA lab at the number 2 crime lab in the United States. I’ve been published in the Journal of Forensic Science. I go to seminars and people know who I am because of the papers I’ve published. I took a hefty cut in pay to become a CSI but I did it because I knew I could help more in the field than stuck in a lab. I’ve been blown up, beat up and accused of murdering an innocent young man because the ‘innocent young man’ was kicking the shit out of some poor tourist and when I interrupted his fun and his friends by the way, he came at me with a rock.”
Greg took a deep breath but he wasn’t done yet. “Now, I know you don’t approve of my sexual orientation and I can’t do anything about that. But I am not going to let you disrespect me for it nor am I going to let you disrespect your son. I don’t know why I’m like this but I’ve known I was different since my teens. Nick told me he knew before he hit puberty that he didn’t react to things like his friends did. I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve learned the hard way. I’ve been seeing Alan three times a week since Nick and I split up and I probably will be paying him $125.00 a month for the rest of my life but it’s worth it.”
“When I said we shouldn’t have been together, I meant because I was the most immature 32 year old guy on the face of the planet and Nick, well Nick had so many problems I don’t know where to start. I had yearned for Nick for so long, when he told me he wanted me I just went crazy. Oh yeah, I didn’t seduce your darling Nicky. He made the advances.”
Judge Stokes was turning an alarming shade of magenta but Greg was on a roll and unless or until the man actually popped a blood vessel, he was going to get it all out in the open.
“I didn’t want Nick to pay attention to anything else in this world except me. I was like a kid in a candy store. I’d waited and wanted and lusted for so long; I was jealous of anything that took his focus off me. If he wanted to do the dishes I’d tease and torment and dirty things up and throw food and then I’d use sex to distract him. And it worked. Oh boy, did it work and it always worked. It took a lot of time with Alan before I realized that I did it on purpose because when my sex-tactics did work, Nick would get so rough with me he’d hurt me. Then he’d spend hours making it up to me. He’d be gentle with me and care for me and treat my injuries and bring me food in bed and watch anything I wanted to watch on TV and everything would be wonderful for a while until the cycle started all over again.”
“But I was not the only person to blame in this mess. Nick who said he wanted a long-term relationship with me and insisted I spend all my time with him refused to give me a key to the front door of the place he called ‘our’ home. I had to come in through the garage and he would leave the back door open for me. I was not permitted to bring my own music into ‘our’ house. I was only allowed to have two changes of clothing in ‘our’ house. I was given two drawers in the chest in ‘our’ bedroom. Do you see a pattern here? Do you see anything wrong with this picture? And I was so damn stupid and so damn grateful the great Nick Stokes would even look at me I put up with it. I never said a word out loud BUT, I trashed his house.” Greg finally ran out of words and collapsed back in his chair.
There was complete silence in the room. Alan finally said, “Perhaps we ought to take a breather. I’ve been working with Greg for the last 4 days to help him get the courage to tell you that and I know it was equally difficult for the two of you to listen to it.”
Nick’s father raised his head. He’d aged during Greg’s brain dump. He was no longer magenta, he was actually sort of grey now. Mrs. Stokes was crying silent tears with no noise at all; just big wet tears running down her cheeks. Greg got up and went over to her. He knelt down on the floor in front of her chair being very careful not to touch her. He put his hand on the table next to her and balanced himself as he leaned forward slightly.
“I’m so sorry.” He could feel his own tears brimming in response to hers and was determined he would not give in to them. “I wouldn’t have told you this, I wouldn’t have hurt you like this for the world. But Nick wont wake up and Alan says there isn’t a medical reason why he’s not waking up so it has to be either in his head or buried so deep inside his soul he can’t get to it to fix it. Nick has to wake up. I have to be able to tell him I love him and even if he never wants to see me or have anything to do with me again, I have to tell him how sorry I am that I never saw how bad he was hurting or how much help he needed.”
Nick’s mother looked deeply into Greg’s eyes then she nodded very slightly and leaned forward. She put her arms around him and pulled him tightly into her arms. She hugged him and rocked him and all his good intentions went to hell in a hand basket and he cried. He cried like a baby and was rocked gently in her loving arms. She hummed to him and then she told him in a soft, soft voice that all mothers want the very best in the world for their children. She knew that someone who loved her son so much he was willing to empty his bank account and risk his life to rescue him and risk his job to keep his secret was the very best thing in the world for Nick.
As cathartic as it was to be held and accepted by Nick’s mother, Greg still almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Nick’s father pat him on the shoulder. He looked up at the stern older man and watched as he struggled to regain his composure and his dignity. Finally he nodded slightly and said, “All right mother, let the poor boy get up off his bony knees and get comfortable. We’ve still got a lot to discuss. And you young man, you need to know that I can’t just accept this the way my wife can. I’ve spent 70 years thinking that homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of God. I can’t change that over night just because my son is the sinner. But I can and I will work on the Christian concept that you can hate the sin and love the sinner.”
He cleared his throat as Greg got up and reached for the box of Kleenex on Alan’s desk. Alan immediately got a fresh box out and handed it across the desk to Greg to give to Mrs. Stokes. When everyone had taken their seats again and eyes had been mopped and noses furiously blown, Judge Stokes said, “All right Dr. Perkins. You have a theory why Nick isn’t waking up and you felt that Greg had to give us this knowledge as background for that theory. Is that correct?”
Alan cleared his throat, he’d been just a little teary himself during the emotional upheaval. But mostly, he was so proud of Greg. He’d almost jumped out of his chair and yelled ‘YES’ when Greg told Nick’s father that he deserved respect. He had worked so hard to make Greg realize on his own, all by himself that as much as he may have loved Nick, he had been treated shamefully and the fact that he had allowed himself to be treated that way, almost as though it was all he could expect was his own form of mental illness.
He realized he’d just lost a patient and was thrilled because now maybe he could acquire a friend. He had come to admire and genuinely enjoy being around Greg. His brain was truly one of a kind and lord knows he had an off-the-wall personality to match. Life was never dull with Sanders around.
“Yes Sir I do. I think that Nick realizes what has happened, I believe that somewhere, on some level he knows what has been done to his body and what his friends had to do and see to rescue him. I also think that the idea that they would go through that for him is impossible for his rational mind to handle because I believe your son has been in trouble for a long, long time. I think something happened to Nick in his past that started this downhill slide and I think this breakdown, for want of a better word, has been a long time coming. In a way, the relationship with Greg finished him off.”
Greg audibly caught his breath and let out a strangled, painful moan.
“No Greg, not for the reason’s I know you’re thinking. I think it was a case of Nick getting what he’d always wanted but in his mind he didn’t deserve to have it and he didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he couldn’t let you go because from what Bobby has told me, he has been, at the very least, infatuated with you for years. The fact that you were equally infatuated with him, while at first, was heaven eventually tore him apart because he couldn’t see himself as worthy of the affection you lavished on him.”
“Now, since I’m sure this all started years ago I need for you, Mr. and Mrs. Stokes to try to remember if there was anything in Nick’s past that could have been a precipitating event. And secondly, I need you both to go into Nick’s room and tell him over and over again that you know about him and Greg and that you still love him. He’s your son and you will always love him and nothing can ever change that. But you have to mean it. Can you do that?”
Mrs. Stokes said firmly and with sure, quiet, authority, “Yes I certainly can say that; from the bottom of my heart!”
Mr. Stokes was silent. Alan waited and waited and waited and about the time he was ready to kick the sanctimonious shit-head out of his office, Nick’s father raised his head and looked Alan squarely in the eyes and said, “Can I tell my son I love him? You bet your ass I can!”
Alan let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, rubbed his hands together and said, “OK, we have a plan. Let’s go put it into action.”
**********************************
The plan was side tracked while the Stokes went out to get something to eat. Greg went to be with Nick for a while. He had to go back home and grab a few hours of sleep before work. It was agreed that it would be just the parents with him for the next 24 hours. Then Greg was to be in the room with them so Nick could see they weren’t just saying they accepted him but they actually did. Alan was absolutely certain that somewhere in the dark world of his own mind, Nick knew, saw and heard everything that was happening to him.
It was a measure of how hard Judge Stokes was trying that he was the one who said he felt bad about Greg not being allowed to see Nick for 24 hours. Greg thanked him for the thought but said Nick would be in very good hands and this would give him a chance to finish putting his kitchen back together and he needed to take the love of his life, Annabelle, grocery shopping.
During the last 8 days, Greg had spoken often with both Judge and Mrs. Stokes when they called him or he called them to exchange news about Nick. He’d told them all about the renovation’s he was doing to his apartment and about Annabelle. They agreed they had to meet this delightful lady.
Mrs. Stokes frowned and then said, “Greg, If you want to resume your relationship with Nick, why are you renovating your apartment? I thought one of the problems you two had was the fact that you were not truly sharing a living space.”
Greg grinned at her and said, “You know, the worst thing we did was assume that because we had worked together for so long, we knew everything there was to know bout each other. This time if we stand any chance at all, it’s going to be because we take it slow and easy and find out if we have anything in common besides lust.” He noticed that while she smiled and nodded in agreement, Judge Stokes turned his favorite shade of magenta again and turned away. Greg could not help it, “Sorry Judge, I guess that really was TMI wasn’t it?”
Nick’s dad looked at him with a puzzled look and then looked back at his wife. She patted him on the cheek and said, “‘Too Much Information’ dear.”
He glared at Greg, shook his finger at him and told him he did that on purpose. Greg almost fell over. The idea of Nick’s dad teasing him about him making a sex joke was just surreal.
*****************************
Nick’s folks didn’t do exactly what Alan told them to do. They were just too much in charge to follow anyone’s orders completely. What they did was actually better.
They had not been able to think of any incident in Nick’s life, that they knew about, that could have been the precipitator for his emotional problems. So they started telling Nick the story of his life from the moment they first found out there was going to be one more little Stokes. Mama Stokes put the railing down on one side of the bed and pulled her chair up so close she was almost on the bed. She laid her head beside Nick’s, put her arm around him and talked right into his ear. She told him about her excitement at having one more baby, his dad’s pride at still being virile enough to produce one last Stokes, how happy all the other kids were to have another baby to play with.
When her voice began to give out, Mr. Stokes moved the chair to the head of the bed. He put his hand on Nicks shoulder and laid his head on the bed very close to his son. Alan thought it was amazing how much they looked alike when you saw the two of laying so close together. He picked the story up right where his mom left off. They tag teamed each other all through Nick’s life; all the laughter and the tears, the parties and celebrations. They talked about how proud they were of him when he was playing football. It was wonderful that he ran the ball so much and made so many points for their high school, but what impressed his father the most he told him was the way Nick always checked not only his own team mates but also the opposing players any time someone went down on the field. Nick was always the first one there to take off the helmet and check the pupils and reassure the injured player. He said lots of men could be macho but it took a special man to be strong and thoughtful at the same time.
They talked for almost 36 hours. Mama Stokes had to go back to Dallas. As district attorney for such a large city, it was hard for her to get away for any length of time. Nick’s dad said he would stay for another day. As his mother was gathering her things together so Greg could drive her to the airport, they heard a rusty sound that was a little like a kitten mewing. When they heard it again, Mr. Stokes whipped his head around so fast he heard his neck pop. He was looking into the dark, puzzled eyes of his youngest son. His awake youngest son.
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Date: 2007-10-23 11:19 pm (UTC)*Smooch* Well done babe, can't wait for the next chapter. *Hugs*
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Date: 2007-10-24 09:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 08:29 pm (UTC)