Fic: Disintegration Chapter 2
Oct. 22nd, 2007 08:25 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Disintegration
Author: Seether_79
Rating: R just to be safe (for language only at this point. And sexual references I guess)
Beta: The awesome and wonderful Jayceepat :)
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of its characters
Summary: Nick and Greg both make mistakes and things end badly. Can they forgive one another or is it really the end
A/N: Okay just want to say right now that this is not a Greg kidnap fic. There is nothing wrong with them in fact I quite like them but that isn't what this story is.
Thanks to everyone who read or reviewed the first chapter ;) And big huge hugs and love for my beta Jayceepat! The first chapter has now also been looked over.
Now on with the story...
Chapter 2: Left and Leaving
Nick and Warrick sat in the back booth of one of their favorite bars. Nick was grateful it wasn’t the one he had visited the night of his and Greg’s breakup. Because the last thing he wanted right now was to run into Ron. They were working on their second beers and Nick still hadn’t told Warrick any details.
“So…” Warrick prompted.
“It’s complicated” Nick told him as he raised his beer to his mouth and took a large gulp. “I would rather just sit here and enjoy my beer.”
“You have to tell me what happened man. I need to know if I have to go kick Sander’s ass” Warrick said. He liked Greg, he really did. But Nick was his best friend. He would do anything for him.
“No. Leave Greg alone. It was my fault. Mostly” Nick told him and Warrick just looked at him sternly. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Just tell me what happened.”
Nick sighed as he shifted in his seat. “We had a fight. It was so fucking stupid. He has this friend, Logan. I was jealous and things just escalated from there. I said some stuff which really pissed him off. Then he said some crap that really, really pissed me off.”
“What did he say?” Warrick asked.
“That he didn’t love me. That he was sick of me being possessive and that being with me was the worst thing he ever did. That he had lost himself because of me” Nick said bitterly as he took another sip of his beer.
“No-way, that’s harsh. No wonder things ended” Warrick said as he started to imagine all the ways he could kill Greg.
“That not why we broke up” Nick told him in a matter of fact tone. “I know he didn’t mean what he said. He was just angry and wanted to hurt me. But at the time I was too pissed off to think things through. I didn’t even say anything. I just walked out.”
“I don’t blame you” Warrick interrupted.
“Yeah well, I wish I had stuck around and just talked things out. But instead I went to Molly’s and got fucked up on whiskey.”
“Molly’s, is that the place where that bartender works that has such a crush on you” Warrick asked?
“Funny you should mention that” Nick said but he wasn’t laughing. “Yes, Ron the bartender there really likes me and when I was drunk…” Nick just didn’t know how to say it. He didn’t know how to tell Warrick that he had cheated on and betrayed Greg.
“You slept with him” Warrick finished for him. The truth had been written all over Nick’s face. Warrick just knew.
“Yeah” Nick said softly. He was so ashamed of himself and now that he had said it out loud that feeling doubled.
“Nick man that’s so not like you.”
“I know. I don’t even know why I did it. I don’t even like him. I guess I just wanted to get back at Greg for what he said. And in my drunken state it seemed like a good idea. I didn’t even enjoy it. And when I told Greg… I’ve never seen him so calm.”
“Calm” Warrick repeated confused.
“Yeah calm, I mean he was hurt. So hurt I could see it in his eyes. But the rest of him was just so still. Trust me Greg calm is not a good thing. He just basically said that it was over and it’s for the best and what not. But I don’t want it to be over. I love him so goddamn much. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him” Nick said as he looked at the table and avoided his friend’s gaze. Nick was never good at telling people how he felt. And when he did he always felt like an idiot while doing it. “I just want him back.”
“Maybe some time apart is what you guys need. Sort out your life and Greg can do the same” Warrick suggested. He really wasn’t sure what to say to Nick right now. He knew that Greg and Nick really loved each other. But from the sounds of things they really did need to have some time apart.
“And I agree to a certain extant. But I don’t think time will fix things. I cheated on him man. And it’s not the first time he has been cheated on. His girlfriend in collage did the same thing to him. It’s a complicated story but lets just say I’m pretty sure I haven’t got a chance in hell of ever being with him again” Nick said. Warrick sighed as he looked at his despairing friend. This was not good.
_____________________________________________
Greg sighed blissfully as Nick wrapped his arms around him from behind. He could feel it in his bones, this was where he belonged. He had never felt safer or happier then when he was with Nick.
“You smell good baby” Nick whispered in his ear as he leaned his chin onto Greg’s shoulder.
“You feel good” Greg replied as he leaned back into Nick’s strong chest.
“I could stay like this forever” Nick murmured his breath tickling Greg’s neck.
“So could I” Greg agreed.
“Then why did you leave?” Nick asked. His tone changing all of a sudden from affectionate to hurt and confused. He un-wrapped his arms from around Greg’s waist and stepped back. Greg turned around to face him.
“What?” Greg asked him confused.
“Why aren’t we together?”
Greg woke up suddenly feeling the throbbing in his head as he sat up slowly. He looked around and it took him a few seconds to recognize his new living room. He had fallen asleep on his couch watching some stupid reality TV show.
The pang in his heart from missing Nick hadn’t disappeared. In fact it seemed to grow more and more everyday. They had barely seen each other since their breakup. Greg and Sara hadn’t really seen much of anybody over the last four days. They had been working a triple homicide. But every time he managed to catch a small glimpse of Nick his whole body tensed up and he actually thought he might die from longing.
Greg had always considered him self a fairly independent person. He had never in his life needed some one the way he needed Nick and that scared him.
Nick had been a little possessive in their relationship. He always liked to know where Greg was going and who with. He never actually told Greg not go or anything like that. He just wanted to know in case. Greg was okay with that and didn’t mind. In a way he had liked it because it showed him how much Nick cared about him. But when Nick had met Logan everything changed. Nick really didn’t like or trust Logan, he was so sure that Logan wanted Greg and was trying to end their relationship and made his opinion on the subject known. This had annoyed Greg because he had been friends with Logan ever since he had first come to Vegas. Logan was a friend, and just a friend. He felt as though Nick should trust him enough to know that Greg would never cheat on him.
Greg actually found it some what ironic that Nick had been so concerned about Greg cheating on him. And in the end it had been Nick who had done it to him. In a way he still wasn’t sure if all this was actually happening or if it was some sick nightmare he just couldn’t wake up from.
Greg knew that not everything was Nick’s fault. Greg had really let him have it. He still couldn’t believe that he had told Nick that he didn’t love him and that being with him was the worst thing he ever did. Because even though it ended horribly, the time he had spent with Nick was some of the best in his whole life.
He felt as though he was being ripped in half. Part of him wanted to run back to Nick and work this entire thing out. The other part wanted to get away and just try to forget about him.
Greg sighed as he glanced around again. He really needed to get some curtains and try to make this place feel a little bit more like home. As he looked out of another one of his windows he was sure he saw a figure quickly move. Greg hesitantly got up and walked toward the window. He glanced out but could see nothing but the sun slowly setting. He was so sure somebody had been there.
“My god I’m going nuts” He said to himself as he rubbed his hands over his face. He really needed a shower and then to get ready for work. He really needed many things. He needed this headache to go away. He needed more than three hours sleep. He needed his brain to stop going a mile a minute and he needed Nick. But sometimes you don’t get what you need.
_______________________________________________
Nick needed to talk to Greg. He just wanted to hear his voice and see if he was okay. So he stood in the parking lot of the lab and waited for Greg to arrive. He had no idea what to expect when he did see him. If he were Greg he wouldn’t want to see the guy that had cheated on him. But it was hard to go from spending all your time with someone every day for two years to only catching glimpses of them walking down corridors at work.
Nick felt extremely nervous when he saw Greg’s car drive into a parking spot. He walked slowly over to him. He watched as the beautiful man got out of his car and locked the door.
“Hey” Nick said. Greg’s head snapped up and Nick could see how exhausted Greg looked.
“Nick” Greg said simply.
“I wanted to see how you are?” Nick said cautiously. He was beginning to think this was a bad idea and he should have just left him alone.
“Honestly I’ve been better” Greg said wishing for this whole encounter to be over. It was emotionally exhausting being around Nick. Trying to stay cool and not break down in a mess in front of the man that had broke him.
“I’m sorry” Nick said unhappily.
“I know” Greg didn’t know how else to respond to that.
“I miss you” Nick had not meant to say that but it just came out like word vomit. He didn’t want to cause Greg anymore pain then he already had.
“So what Nick; you thought you would wait out here in the parking lot and say you’re sorry, that you miss me and everything would be okay again?” Greg asked. He knew he was being an ass but he couldn’t help. He was just too drained to do this right now, he needed more time before he could face Nick.
“No… I just,” Nick had no idea how to describe to Greg what he was thinking. “I just wanted to see you.”
“You just wanted to see me… Hey were you outside my place earlier?” Greg asked him in an irritated tone.
“What?” Nick asked surprised. He must have misheard him.
“Were you watching me through my living room window?” Greg asked again getting more agitated. It made sense now that he thought about it.
“No. Jesus Greg. I love you and I miss you but I’m not a stalker” Nick said. He wanted to be angry over the accusation but in truth he was more worried about the fact that someone was watching Greg at his home.
“Right” Greg said with disbelief in his tone.
“I don’t even know your new address Greg. I swear to you I was not spying on you” Nick told him.
“Okay” Greg replied. He had known Nick long enough to tell when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. Greg just nodded and started to walk away.
“Greg wait! What makes you think someone was watching you?” Nick asked trying to turn into CSI mode but he knew it sounded more like worried boyfriend mode, or in this case ex-boyfriend.
“Don’t worry about it Nick” Greg said as he walked quicker just wanting to escape.
“I do worry” Nick said to himself. Greg had already reached the building and walked in.
TBC
Thanks for reading. Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated :)
Author: Seether_79
Rating: R just to be safe (for language only at this point. And sexual references I guess)
Beta: The awesome and wonderful Jayceepat :)
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of its characters
Summary: Nick and Greg both make mistakes and things end badly. Can they forgive one another or is it really the end
A/N: Okay just want to say right now that this is not a Greg kidnap fic. There is nothing wrong with them in fact I quite like them but that isn't what this story is.
Thanks to everyone who read or reviewed the first chapter ;) And big huge hugs and love for my beta Jayceepat! The first chapter has now also been looked over.
Now on with the story...
Chapter 2: Left and Leaving
Nick and Warrick sat in the back booth of one of their favorite bars. Nick was grateful it wasn’t the one he had visited the night of his and Greg’s breakup. Because the last thing he wanted right now was to run into Ron. They were working on their second beers and Nick still hadn’t told Warrick any details.
“So…” Warrick prompted.
“It’s complicated” Nick told him as he raised his beer to his mouth and took a large gulp. “I would rather just sit here and enjoy my beer.”
“You have to tell me what happened man. I need to know if I have to go kick Sander’s ass” Warrick said. He liked Greg, he really did. But Nick was his best friend. He would do anything for him.
“No. Leave Greg alone. It was my fault. Mostly” Nick told him and Warrick just looked at him sternly. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Just tell me what happened.”
Nick sighed as he shifted in his seat. “We had a fight. It was so fucking stupid. He has this friend, Logan. I was jealous and things just escalated from there. I said some stuff which really pissed him off. Then he said some crap that really, really pissed me off.”
“What did he say?” Warrick asked.
“That he didn’t love me. That he was sick of me being possessive and that being with me was the worst thing he ever did. That he had lost himself because of me” Nick said bitterly as he took another sip of his beer.
“No-way, that’s harsh. No wonder things ended” Warrick said as he started to imagine all the ways he could kill Greg.
“That not why we broke up” Nick told him in a matter of fact tone. “I know he didn’t mean what he said. He was just angry and wanted to hurt me. But at the time I was too pissed off to think things through. I didn’t even say anything. I just walked out.”
“I don’t blame you” Warrick interrupted.
“Yeah well, I wish I had stuck around and just talked things out. But instead I went to Molly’s and got fucked up on whiskey.”
“Molly’s, is that the place where that bartender works that has such a crush on you” Warrick asked?
“Funny you should mention that” Nick said but he wasn’t laughing. “Yes, Ron the bartender there really likes me and when I was drunk…” Nick just didn’t know how to say it. He didn’t know how to tell Warrick that he had cheated on and betrayed Greg.
“You slept with him” Warrick finished for him. The truth had been written all over Nick’s face. Warrick just knew.
“Yeah” Nick said softly. He was so ashamed of himself and now that he had said it out loud that feeling doubled.
“Nick man that’s so not like you.”
“I know. I don’t even know why I did it. I don’t even like him. I guess I just wanted to get back at Greg for what he said. And in my drunken state it seemed like a good idea. I didn’t even enjoy it. And when I told Greg… I’ve never seen him so calm.”
“Calm” Warrick repeated confused.
“Yeah calm, I mean he was hurt. So hurt I could see it in his eyes. But the rest of him was just so still. Trust me Greg calm is not a good thing. He just basically said that it was over and it’s for the best and what not. But I don’t want it to be over. I love him so goddamn much. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him” Nick said as he looked at the table and avoided his friend’s gaze. Nick was never good at telling people how he felt. And when he did he always felt like an idiot while doing it. “I just want him back.”
“Maybe some time apart is what you guys need. Sort out your life and Greg can do the same” Warrick suggested. He really wasn’t sure what to say to Nick right now. He knew that Greg and Nick really loved each other. But from the sounds of things they really did need to have some time apart.
“And I agree to a certain extant. But I don’t think time will fix things. I cheated on him man. And it’s not the first time he has been cheated on. His girlfriend in collage did the same thing to him. It’s a complicated story but lets just say I’m pretty sure I haven’t got a chance in hell of ever being with him again” Nick said. Warrick sighed as he looked at his despairing friend. This was not good.
_____________________________________________
Greg sighed blissfully as Nick wrapped his arms around him from behind. He could feel it in his bones, this was where he belonged. He had never felt safer or happier then when he was with Nick.
“You smell good baby” Nick whispered in his ear as he leaned his chin onto Greg’s shoulder.
“You feel good” Greg replied as he leaned back into Nick’s strong chest.
“I could stay like this forever” Nick murmured his breath tickling Greg’s neck.
“So could I” Greg agreed.
“Then why did you leave?” Nick asked. His tone changing all of a sudden from affectionate to hurt and confused. He un-wrapped his arms from around Greg’s waist and stepped back. Greg turned around to face him.
“What?” Greg asked him confused.
“Why aren’t we together?”
Greg woke up suddenly feeling the throbbing in his head as he sat up slowly. He looked around and it took him a few seconds to recognize his new living room. He had fallen asleep on his couch watching some stupid reality TV show.
The pang in his heart from missing Nick hadn’t disappeared. In fact it seemed to grow more and more everyday. They had barely seen each other since their breakup. Greg and Sara hadn’t really seen much of anybody over the last four days. They had been working a triple homicide. But every time he managed to catch a small glimpse of Nick his whole body tensed up and he actually thought he might die from longing.
Greg had always considered him self a fairly independent person. He had never in his life needed some one the way he needed Nick and that scared him.
Nick had been a little possessive in their relationship. He always liked to know where Greg was going and who with. He never actually told Greg not go or anything like that. He just wanted to know in case. Greg was okay with that and didn’t mind. In a way he had liked it because it showed him how much Nick cared about him. But when Nick had met Logan everything changed. Nick really didn’t like or trust Logan, he was so sure that Logan wanted Greg and was trying to end their relationship and made his opinion on the subject known. This had annoyed Greg because he had been friends with Logan ever since he had first come to Vegas. Logan was a friend, and just a friend. He felt as though Nick should trust him enough to know that Greg would never cheat on him.
Greg actually found it some what ironic that Nick had been so concerned about Greg cheating on him. And in the end it had been Nick who had done it to him. In a way he still wasn’t sure if all this was actually happening or if it was some sick nightmare he just couldn’t wake up from.
Greg knew that not everything was Nick’s fault. Greg had really let him have it. He still couldn’t believe that he had told Nick that he didn’t love him and that being with him was the worst thing he ever did. Because even though it ended horribly, the time he had spent with Nick was some of the best in his whole life.
He felt as though he was being ripped in half. Part of him wanted to run back to Nick and work this entire thing out. The other part wanted to get away and just try to forget about him.
Greg sighed as he glanced around again. He really needed to get some curtains and try to make this place feel a little bit more like home. As he looked out of another one of his windows he was sure he saw a figure quickly move. Greg hesitantly got up and walked toward the window. He glanced out but could see nothing but the sun slowly setting. He was so sure somebody had been there.
“My god I’m going nuts” He said to himself as he rubbed his hands over his face. He really needed a shower and then to get ready for work. He really needed many things. He needed this headache to go away. He needed more than three hours sleep. He needed his brain to stop going a mile a minute and he needed Nick. But sometimes you don’t get what you need.
_______________________________________________
Nick needed to talk to Greg. He just wanted to hear his voice and see if he was okay. So he stood in the parking lot of the lab and waited for Greg to arrive. He had no idea what to expect when he did see him. If he were Greg he wouldn’t want to see the guy that had cheated on him. But it was hard to go from spending all your time with someone every day for two years to only catching glimpses of them walking down corridors at work.
Nick felt extremely nervous when he saw Greg’s car drive into a parking spot. He walked slowly over to him. He watched as the beautiful man got out of his car and locked the door.
“Hey” Nick said. Greg’s head snapped up and Nick could see how exhausted Greg looked.
“Nick” Greg said simply.
“I wanted to see how you are?” Nick said cautiously. He was beginning to think this was a bad idea and he should have just left him alone.
“Honestly I’ve been better” Greg said wishing for this whole encounter to be over. It was emotionally exhausting being around Nick. Trying to stay cool and not break down in a mess in front of the man that had broke him.
“I’m sorry” Nick said unhappily.
“I know” Greg didn’t know how else to respond to that.
“I miss you” Nick had not meant to say that but it just came out like word vomit. He didn’t want to cause Greg anymore pain then he already had.
“So what Nick; you thought you would wait out here in the parking lot and say you’re sorry, that you miss me and everything would be okay again?” Greg asked. He knew he was being an ass but he couldn’t help. He was just too drained to do this right now, he needed more time before he could face Nick.
“No… I just,” Nick had no idea how to describe to Greg what he was thinking. “I just wanted to see you.”
“You just wanted to see me… Hey were you outside my place earlier?” Greg asked him in an irritated tone.
“What?” Nick asked surprised. He must have misheard him.
“Were you watching me through my living room window?” Greg asked again getting more agitated. It made sense now that he thought about it.
“No. Jesus Greg. I love you and I miss you but I’m not a stalker” Nick said. He wanted to be angry over the accusation but in truth he was more worried about the fact that someone was watching Greg at his home.
“Right” Greg said with disbelief in his tone.
“I don’t even know your new address Greg. I swear to you I was not spying on you” Nick told him.
“Okay” Greg replied. He had known Nick long enough to tell when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. Greg just nodded and started to walk away.
“Greg wait! What makes you think someone was watching you?” Nick asked trying to turn into CSI mode but he knew it sounded more like worried boyfriend mode, or in this case ex-boyfriend.
“Don’t worry about it Nick” Greg said as he walked quicker just wanting to escape.
“I do worry” Nick said to himself. Greg had already reached the building and walked in.
TBC
Thanks for reading. Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated :)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 01:38 pm (UTC)I really dig this fic, it's pretty awesome.
Don't stop!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-23 10:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 05:25 pm (UTC)I feel bad for both of them.
I just hope they realize how much they need eachother.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-23 10:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-22 06:09 pm (UTC)*Grin* I like this fic because the boys aren't all lovey dovey all the time and there's some serious angst going on here. *Grin* Thank you!
(Don't get me wrong, I love the lovey dovey stuff too, but I'm in an angst ridden way right now, so this is right up my alley!)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-23 10:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-23 11:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 09:07 am (UTC)