April challenge fic, chapter three

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

For the  “A look into the future challenge”

Rating: PG

Summary:  Nick returns to his family home and faces up to some painful truths about his life with Greg

 

“Contemplating Eternity”

 

Chapter Three:  “Man the Lifeboats”

 

The next day was a blur of activities that Nick would never  clearly remember.  The viewing, the funeral itself, the interment…all swirled in a miasma of worry and fear. Fear of what he’d face when he returned to Vegas.  Fear that things were no longer in his control.  Fear that emotional shipwreck lay ahead for both Greg and himself.

 

Tomorrow he’d be returning home.  He should be excited to see Greg again.  Instead, the text from Greg confirming he would be waiting at the airport filled him with dread.  Sitting on the porch, waiting for sunset, he wondered if he should change flights to a time Greg would be at work already.  Maybe a cab ride into town would give him enough time to clear his mind.

 

The porch boards creaked, heralding the arrival of someone else. Nick reluctantly looked up, wishing to remain alone.  He sighed in frustration at the now familiar sight of his Auntie.

 

“You’re just proving my point, you know.  Hiding out here when all of your family is inside together.”  She sat down next to Nick on the step, almost as graceful as the girl she had once been.  “Too private, to private by half.  Told you.”  She waited for some sign that Nick was still living.  Getting no encouragement to continue, she barreled on anyway.

 

“Going home to your little friend tomorrow.  Looking forward to the welcome home?”

 

“My relationship with Greg is absolutely none of your business,” Nick snapped.  “Before you started in on me, I was absolutely sure I was happy, that I was in love.  Just yesterday I was still relatively sure of that!  Now, I’m not… “ Nick trailed off miserably.

 

“Now you’re not so sure?”  The almost tender words from the forceful old lady where somehow harder to take.

 

“No!  I mean yes, I’m sure!”  Nick struggled not to shout.  “I’m pretty sure.”  He was pathetic.  Of that, at least, he was sure.

 

“What do you see when you picture your future?  What are your dreams?”  Auntie shifted so the last rays of sun didn’t shine in her eyes.  “Do you see him there, with you?”

 

In truth, Nick had stopped trying to see much of anything in the future.  He’d developed a kind of ‘live for the moment’ approach to it, and he wondered now if that was part of his unease.

 

“Thought so.  Drifting.  No goals, no hopes, dreams…drifting.”  She sniffed.  “Ragweed.  Pollen is from the Devil, has to be.  Maybe you need some dreams, boy.  Maybe, if you had somewhere to aim for, you wouldn’t feel so lost right now.”  With that Grissom-like thought, Tassie rose.  “Got to go check on your Grandmother Maude.  Promised to stay close.  Too much activity for old biddies like us.”  The odd laughter rumbled again.  “I’ll miss you, Nicholas…you’re not as routine as the rest of this herd.  Bring that little friend of yours with you next time.” 

 

Nick was pretty sure she was gone by the time his “His name is Greg” came out.  He didn’t suppose it mattered all that much.  She wasn’t going to call him by name anyway.  Dreams.  What did he want for a future?  What did others have that he coveted?  More damn questions.  They all swirled around in his crowded skull, making it throb.  “I need a beer.” 

 

The house was bursting with family.  Children racing around half-heartedly admonished to stop by weary parents.  Old people to babes, all the generations of living Stokes were represented.  For the first time in many visits, Nick really looked at them.  What was the secret of their happiness?  How could he capture it for his own?

 

“You okay?”  His brother stopped beside Nick, offering him a beer.  “You look a little piqued.  Auntie hounding you again?”  Billy was the oldest, and liked to play mother hen to his younger siblings.  It was a trait that Nick both admired and hated.

 

“I’m alright.  Billy, how did you know Rebecca was the one for you?  What made you sure?”  Billy looked a little surprised at the question. 

 

“You sure you’re okay?  You having trouble at home?”  When Nick had told his family that he’d chosen a man for his partner in life, the family had been surprised, shocked even.  But they’d all adjusted to it after a fashion, some more accepting then others, but all willing to let things be.  Billy had never been entirely comfortable with the idea, but he wanted his baby brother to be happy.  If Greg made him happy, Billy was happy too.  “Greg’s just working, right?  That’s why he’s not here?”

 

“Yeah.  Greg’s fine.  He’s covering my shifts.”  Nick took a long pull on the cold beer.  Heaven.  “Don’t change the subject.  How did you know?”

 

Billy gave an embarrassed sort of chuckle.  “I didn’t.  She knew.”  Nick looked confused, so Billy gave it another try.  “She decided I was ‘husband’ material, and set out to claim me.  I didn’t know what hit me until after the honeymoon!”

 

The brothers shared a laugh.  It felt good to laugh, Nick thought.  It was good to be here.  For the first time, he actively missed Greg.  Only now, when he was ready to head home, did he wish for them to be enjoying this moment together. 

 

“Any regrets?”  Billy finished his beer before answering.  “No.  Not really.  I do wish I ‘d finished college first.  Always figured I could go back, but then the kids came along.  Don’t regret them, mind you.  Not a minute.  Just, I would have like to finish my masters.”  He didn’t look all that troubled, so Nick figured the ache wasn’t too bad.

 

“How about you, Nick?  You have regrets?”  Mother henning like a pro.

 

“Some.  I’m working on them.”  That was as much as Billy was going to get.  He saluted Nick with his empty bottle and went off the help corral the little ones belonging to him.

 

Nick reflected on Billy’s words.  ‘Husband material’.  Did that describe Greg?  Or himself, for that matter?  He wandered over to one of his sisters.  Might as well turn this into a bit of fieldwork.  Treat it like an investigation.  Just giving a face to some of his questions was already giving him hope where he’d just felt fear before.  So, Stacey was next for questioning.  Maybe he should be taking notes?

 

He startled himself by laughing out loud by the imagery.  “Stacey!  Hold up!” 

Comments

[theboysgonehome.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm glad Nicky seems to be feeling a little better by the end of this... hopefully his siblings will help him figure himself out. They're good for things like that. :)

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

I thought I'd be done with it this chapter...he's running away from me.

[laureen.livejournal.com]

I refuse to give up hope for a happy ending. ^_^ But it's nice to see that Nick is starting to think about it, and hopefully Nick will see that Greg and him are meant to be together (see! Still hoping for a happy end. :P).

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Hope is a good thing, perhaps the only thing in the end that matters.

I've gotten pulled away from my original outline. I don't know if that gives you hope or not, but there it is.

[mangojunkie.livejournal.com]

This is soooo cute. Little Nicky studying the others to find out whether or not Greg is te one. I like that a lot. And I am very surprised you got that idea through the challenge. It alays surprises me wht people see in a few words.
Love it, great. And I wait for the next chapter.

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Isn't it strange how a group of people with the same interests (slashy goodness) can think in such wildly different ways It's what makes the world go 'round!

I thought this chapter would end it, but as I said, I've been sidetracked. Maybe one more, maybe two. We'll have to see where Nick pulls me.

[io-2.livejournal.com]

Chapter 2 shocked me a little (my inner voice screamed out loud NOOO!!) but now I'm a little less nervous to the outcome of events. Shouldn't I? I think I will have to wait until the next chapter. So pleeaasee be bussy!

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Are you going to hurt me if all doesn't end well??

I'd best make sure my insurance is up to date.

[io-2.livejournal.com]

mmH....No, I don't think so!
(Looking forward to reunion smut?! ;-)

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

With me, you most likely won't get much smut. I don't write it well enough to try it too often. But, don't hurt me anyway...what I lack in smut, I make up for in sheer volume!!

[io-2.livejournal.com]

I realy (and I mean it rreeallyy) liked our other stories.
So I also go for reunion PG storys or anything what else crossed your mind.

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

(Wow! Quite the icon!)

Really? That makes me insanely happy. I'll see what I can do!

[io-2.livejournal.com]

*sigh*, dreamy: yeah,I love my icon. Now imagin Nick and Greg...
I have such a filthy mind.

I will wait patiently.

[wojo62.livejournal.com]

I've just read all three chapters, I really love the angst and Nick's soul searching. I too am a sucker for a happy ending. Looking forward to more.

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

I love happy endings...so here's to hope.

[fuqmeharry.livejournal.com]

Awww poor Nicky, I feel bad for him. :(
I hope everything works out for them.

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Me too.

[jamesie-boy.livejournal.com]

There will be a happy ending! *in denial* But I'm glad Nicky was a little bit better at the end of this chapter, and that he actually wanted Greg there. Keep writing!

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Denial is more than a river in Egypt.

I'll have more soon.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slytherin_girl/]

Oh yay! I'm actually really glad to see that this story is stretching out a bit more. Gives me more to look forward too! :D

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all the nice words. They mean a lot. I'll post again soon.