(no subject)
Mar. 21st, 2007 04:36 pmFandom: CSI: Las Vegas
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG
Summary: Greg wants to help Nick, but he needs to be able to be ready to admit to his own feelings first of all before he could ever begin to help his friend. This is the edited version and will soon replace what is on What Makes the Dessert Beautiful. X-Posted
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: Don’t own don’t sue.
Greg Sanders paced back and forth on the porch outside of the door into Nick’s house, the sound of his own boots splashing in the puddles on the wood made by the rain falling down around him effectively ensnaring his senses, making him feel more alive but also giving him the energy to be more nervous. He sighed loudly; running a hand through his hair, messing it up even further then it had been before, water droplets sliding down his forehead once released from the blond web.
“Okay,” He said to himself, trying to work up the courage to knock on the wooden surface. “So he’s still your friend, your buddy, you can still talk to him, what happened to him does not change that Greg, don’t be ridiculous about this. Just walk in there, make sure he’s okay without letting him know and act like you always do. He’ll never know a thing.”
Closing his eyes he sighed again, the images flashing in his mind still bothering him. Nick trapped in that box, tears slicking his cheeks as he looked horrified at his surroundings, realizing he had been buried alive. When Greg had finally been able to get into the room where the monitor was, showing Nick’s suffering no one else had been there, and his stomach had tied itself into a knot, threatening to make him sick to his stomach. He hadn’t been able to believe that such a horrible crime could be committed against the gentle Texan who had been friendly to him since Greg’s first day at the crime lab.
It just wasn’t fair that this sort of thing kept happening to Nick; to either of them really, it seemed out of the rest of the people at the lab that the two of them had the hardest time of it personally, and he didn’t even know about everything in Nick’s past. Greg knew only that at times a haunted look was present in the older man’s eyes, making him appear older and gaunt and all he wanted to do was tug him close and try to shield him from anything bad that would happen to him, an urge the former lab tech struggled with constantly.
Greg continued to pace, tugging at his hair until he finally gave into the urge to be a coward and not carry through with his intentions, he turned and headed back to his car, sliding in he immediately rested his head against the steering wheel, allowing the cool of the rubber covering it to bring him back to reality. He breathed deep trying to control his tumultuous emotions, barely able to believe that there were actually tears tugging at his eyes.
“You’re acting fucking weak G,” He muttered, scrubbing roughly at his cheeks then his eyes, forcing back the lump in his throat. “Nick’s gone through so much and you can’t even talk to him! He visited you every damn day you were in the hospital after the lab explosion.” Greg turned the key in the ignition then sat back in his seat looking up at the house through the rain rapidly streaking across his windshield, his eyes fixed on Nick’s living room window, lit by the flickering of the big screen television.
And there was another problem, the lab explosion. Greg felt phantom pains shoot up and down his back, the scars on his skin pulling taut as he tensed, remembering the searing agony that had flowed through him within a matter of seconds, scorching his flesh and causing him so much pain that he had thought there would be no way that he wouldn’t die. A choked groan ripped itself from his throat as he fought back nausea, feeling his stomach churning horrible as the smell of burnt flesh and hair suddenly permeated around him, making him tremble violently.
Greg opened his eyes and breathed deep, in and out he forced a smile onto his face as he remembered hearing from Sara once that it suppressed the gag reflex. Smile G, just smile and you won’t gag, everything will be okay again. He turned off the engine again and pulled the keys out, twirling them in his hand. He fidgeted, picking up the colourful lei attached to the metal ring and running it through his fingers. The sight of it causing the reality of why he was there at Nick's slamming into him with the force of a Mac truck.
The truth echoed through his mind at a dizzying pace, causing his head to spin, the memories of everything he had been through since coming to Vegas resurrected and passing before his eyes, he leaned against the car and closed his eyes slowly. He could remember almost every moment with Nick that he had had so far, his first meeting, absolutely shocked at seeing the CSI who just seemed to exude a masculine sensuality that had wrapped itself around Greg, making him unable to do anything other then choke out a greeting. When he’d moved to Vegas he hadn’t counted on meeting such wonderful, caring men, liking Warrick at first until he soon realized that the rather large beautiful ebony man was a ladies man and although Nick seemed to be one too he’d always preferred the twang of a
It seemed rather ironic to Greg what he’d heard what people had been saying about him before he arrived, that he was gay. The ultimate
After the explosion Greg had realized how short his life could be, and when Nick was taken he had realized that even if he did get out of the lab that chances of him being safer there had been nothing but thoughts of a man who fantasized of a life more glamorous then his own. He began acting more comfortably, more like he had when he had lived in San Francisco, not outright telling anyone that he was gay but he’d definitely been less shy in hiding it, the outrageous personality he was famous for had faded somewhat after the explosion, and Greg had begun to shy away from people just in case they decided to hate him. But then he’d become a CSI, and had more to be proud of, he’d accomplished something great, something more than his wildest dreams. And that disbelief had shattered with a fibreglass coffin, and the look of abject horror on Nick’s face. Greg realized that if Nick surprised he needed to tell the Texan how he felt, it was just too much, too many bad things happened to all of them, life was short yes, but it was even shorter if you had a job like theirs. And somewhere along the line he’d actually fallen in love with Nick, the personality of the other man was suddenly comforting and exhilarating all at once.
Opening his car door Greg slid out, looking up as the sky remained open, rain still falling down around him, a grin breaking out on his face as the cold water hit his skin, beading and sliding down his farms. He locked his doors and ran back to the porch, quickly climbing the steps to Nick’s, nervousness sinking into the pit of his stomach. He bit his bottom lip, practically gasping as the door to the house opened and braced himself, preparing for what might happen.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 10:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 05:53 am (UTC)Upon rereading I think part of the problem is a style thing. A good number of your paragraphs are only two to three sentences long. So, the sentences in them may be grammatically correct, but they take on a run-on quality. I did, however, find two good examples of what I meant:
He turned off the engine again and pulled the keys out, twirling them in his hand he fidgeted, picking up the colourful lei attached to the metal ring, running it through his fingers the sight of it causing the reality of why he was really there, at Nick’s slamming into him with the force of a Mac truck.
This sentence is entirely too long and doesn't flow well. There are too many subjects. It should actually be about three sentences and read something like: "He turned off the engine again and pulled the keys out, twirling them in his hand. He fidgeted, picking up the colourful lei attached to the metal ring and running it through his fingers. The sight of it causing the reality of why he was there at Nick's slamming into him with the force of a Mac truck."
This would also take care of the slight comma problem in that sentence.
And then after he’d settled in more and realized they meant no harm to him by spreading the gossip that if he did admit that they were right that someone might be able to figure out how in love with Nick he was.
This sentence I have even more problems reading. First of all, it starts with a conjunction but the thought isn't being joined to anything else. Big grammatical no no and it's not the only time you do it. I tend to let things like this go when it's dialogue because people talk like that, but this isn't the case here. This sentence might actually be a legitimate stand alone sentence except that there are no comma's in it so it's almost impossible to read properly.
I'd try something like this: Then, after he'd settled in more and realized that they meant him no harm by spreading the gossip, he couldn't admit they were right in fear of someone figuring out just how much he's in love with Nick.
Hope that helped a bit. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 08:30 pm (UTC)Let me know, :D
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Date: 2007-03-22 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-24 04:31 pm (UTC)