nickngreg | One Last Chance

Title: One Last Chance
Writer: Vinnie

r_sambora_luvr
Pairing: Nick and Greg obviously
Rating: NC17 overall
Word Count: 5375
Disclaimer: They aren't mine….sadly.
Summary: This fic was really written as a drabble. I had no intention of posting it at first. Sometimes I just practice and this was one of those practice runs. I had to see if I could write it and this is what I came up with.
Warnings: This was written AU. I didn't include anything to do with CSI. I just used Nick and Greg. Not written off any episode. A lot of angst and violence.
Other Notes: Un beta'd mistakes are mine.
Cross Posted

Nick's fingers curled around the cup, grasping it tighter. He felt the anger in his body starting in his legs and racing up his abdomen like a runaway freight train. There was no stopping it, before he knew it and could control himself it had taken control of him. His hands raised and dropped back on the table top sending the cup he once had a death grip on soaring across the kitchen, shattering against the cupboard.

“What in the hell!?” he shouted as he violently stood up, pushing the chair he once occupied across the room.

“Nick, calm down.” Greg urged terrified by Nick’s sudden outburst.

“I will not calm down.” Nick shouted turning away from Greg, unable to look at him anymore.

Nick’s hands rose to his chest, clinching his fists, using all that was left of his willpower to keep from attacking. He’d never even remotely thought about hurting Greg, but today, today just shouldn’t have been. He took in a deep breath as the reality took over him, he felt the ache in his chest, a pain he’d never felt before. He grasped his chest, fighting with his urge to cry as he gently tapped his heart. He felt that pull, the undeniable pain of heartbreak. He gritted his teeth, and attempted to step forward. His eyes clouded by murky tears as he focused on the door. He gripped the cool door knob and turned it, releasing the clasp that held it shut. It opened, but he stood there, waiting for a sign, something from Greg, and something that he’d never get. He flung the door open and quickly walked to his car. Once inside he sat, allowing his emotions to take over. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he let out soft sobs Why Greggo, why? he asked himself, he franticly began to hit the steering wheel before grasping it tightly, pulling it hard as he cried harder. Could his life be over? Was this it?

The light danced playfully on the wall through the small opening in the blind. Nick watched it for a moment before rolling onto his back. He yawned and sat up, looking around. Not the room he was used to, nothing seemed familiar. A sigh escaped his lips as he stood up, walking drowsily to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror he splashed water in his face and gazed at his reflection. Not the man he once knew, he peered through blood shot eyes, days had shown their effects on his unshaven face, black rings under his eyes from lack of sleep. "Damn Stokes, over a guy? Snap out of it" he mumbled in the mirror, before exiting the bathroom back to the bed.

The room cluttered with beer cans and liquor bottles, he gently pushed them to the side and crashed back in the bed on his stomach. He laid there willing the room to stop spinning, but it wasn’t cooperating. He clinched his eyes shut tighter, as the voices started drilling their way back into his head. “Nick I have met someone else.” he heard over and over again. Greg’s voice echoed like a bad migraine. Nick gripped the pillow tighter and let out a scream, drowning out Greg’s voice. He flailed around on the bed, punching at it, crying heavy sobs into the pillow. His hand falling to the floor where he fished around a moment, he’d found what he wanted. Sitting up, he wiped his eyes and un screwed the cap, and lifted the whiskey bottle to his lips. The warm rush of liquid filled his mouth relaxing him like an old friend. After a few swigs he glanced back at his tear soaked pillow. The evidence of what he’d endured these last few days, it was all around him.

“Excuse me sir?” Greg asked curiously looking around the lobby.

“Can I help you?” the old man said looking up from his TV.

“Ah, I hope so. The truck there.” He said pointing to Nick’s SUV. “The gentleman who drives that, Nick Stokes, is he a registered guest here?”

“I can’t tell you that” The old man snapped at him, turning back toward the TV.

“Can you tell me if he’s been here?” Greg asked more aggressive, holding out a hundred dollar bill.

The old man sighed and flipped the check-in book back a few days. “Yea he’s here.” he stated snatching the money from Greg’s hand.

Greg reached into his pocket and withdrew another fifty dollar bill, “Room number?” He asked holding it in view.

“220” the old man responded grabbing the money.

“Been a pleasure doing business with you.” Greg remarked walking out of the lobby.

He stood in front of the building, eyes searching for room 220. After a few minutes he located it on the second floor. Running up the stairs he was standing in front of the door, he swallowed hard. What if he had someone with him? Greg thought quietly to himself. He didn’t care he needed to talk to Nick. Gently he knocked, becoming more nervous. When there was no response he knocked harder. From behind the door he heard a muffled voice but was sure it was Nick.

“Go away!” Nick shouted at the door.

“Nick? It’s Greg, open the door.”

Nick’s head shot up, he didn’t know if he should be shocked or happy to hear his voice. He hesitated, he wasn’t sure he wanted to face Greg, not yet. He remained fixed in his spot, battling with his want to open the door and his need to avoid confrontation.

“Nicky, please, I need to talk to you.” Greg pleaded outside the door.

Nick had walked over to the door. He stood leaned against it, tracing the grooves with his finger. He’d started crying again, every emotion in his body flooding him as it had done before. “I love you so much.” he whispered the breathy sobs. He collapsed to the floor, still against the door. His will was breaking along with his heart all over again.

“Nick, I am sorry. Please open the door.” Greg pleaded. “Nicky, we need to talk.” He added knocking one last time.

Greg stood there, staring at the door. Some part of him wished he’d bought the extra key. He was about to give up when he heard the knob turn and the door popped open. It was dark inside, no light, no TV. Greg cautiously opened the door. “Nicky?” He said softly and waited for a response.

“What do you want?” A Gruff voice barked from the bed.

“I want to talk to you.” Greg responded stepping inside and closing the door. “Nicky, it’s been 4 days, I am worried about you.” Greg added in his nurturing voice. He could smell the alcohol in the room mixed with sweat and body odor.

“You’re worried about me?” Nick stated with a chuckle lifting the whiskey back to his lips and taking a drink. “And why is that Greg?” He asked standing up and facing Greg.

“I am gonna turn on the light.” Greg said feeling along the wall for the switch that he flicked on. Shock struck him, facing Nick, or what was once Nick. This was not the man he’d fallen in love with. There was no smile, there was no smirk. It was an empty shell of what was once Nick Stokes. He noticed the tight grip on a whiskey bottle; his heart sank as he witnessed the effects of what he said. “What have I done?” he asked as he rushed over to Nick’s side.

He reached up and cradled Nick’s chin in his hand, turning it toward him. “Nick, I am so sorry.” he said feeling the tears streaming down Nick’s cheeks, falling on his hand.

“You’re sorry?” Nick asked sarcastically. “Sorry for what? Being honest?” he added jerking his face away from Greg. “Now what did you think you’d accomplish coming here? What you didn’t kill me enough you had to come make sure you finished the job?” Nick snapped as hurt instantly turned to rage. “Greg there is nothing you can say to make me feel any better about anything. Maybe you should just go.” He finished walking into the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

Greg shook his head in disbelief. “You know, not that it matters now but the girl, the one I told you about, nothing happened Nick. I couldn’t do it; I called her after you left and told her that we couldn’t ever be more then friends.” He shouted through the closed door and watched as is swung open.

“And this new piece of information changes everything?” Nick snapped stepping back out into the room. “Do you think you can un do what’s been done? How can I ever trust you? If you can meet one you can meet another Greg.” he shouted inching closer to Greg who’d stood up and was slowly backing toward the door. “You have no fucking clue do you? You think that I’m so adorable act is going to work on me this time?” he added still moving closer.

“Nick look I know I was wrong and I am sorry.” He was cut off by the whiskey bottle Nick had been holding crashing against the wall.

“NO! you aren’t sorry Greg, you are guilty. And it isn’t going to work,” Nick shouted still moving closer.

“No I am not Nick. I am truly sorry,” Greg stated as he backed against the door.

Nick moved in close. His breath against Greg’s lips. Greg could smell the liquor and tried to turn his head away. “No, No, You take a good look at me Greggo. Is this what you want? Huh is it?” Nick asked taking hold of Greg’s face tightly and pushing his head against the door. “This is what you have. This is what you wanted.” He whispered placing kisses on his lips.

Greg jerked his head trying to stop Nick. “Nick you are hurting me.” He cried out hoping he’d let go.

“You haven’t even begun to feel hurt Greg. If I thought you should feel what I am, you’d welcome the relief death could bring. Don’t you cry to me about hurt.” Nick said sadistically as he licked Greg’s cheek, before letting him go. He turned away from him and started to walk back to the bed. “Oh and one other thing.” He added spinning as his fist made contact with Greg’s face. “Now get the hell out of here and let me die in peace.”

Greg rubbed his face and made a hasty exit. Once outside he couldn’t control his stomach and before he knew it he was hunched over vomiting, regaining his composure he got in his car and left. He vigorously rubbed his bruised face, wiping up the blood from his split lip. He knew that this time there was no going back, it was over.

"Shut UP!" Nick shouted at his phone as it vibrated it self practically off the bed stand. He picked it up and flipped it open not taking time to check the ID. "What?" he snapped.

"Mr. Stokes?" Asked a quivery female voice from the other end.

"Who wants to know?" Nick asked sitting up.

"I am Martha Jenkins, your landlord." She stated.

"Call Greg he's still living there." Nick said pulling the phone away from his head.

"Wait Mr. Stokes, he isn't living there. That's why I am calling. I need you to come remove your belongings."

"Yea, okay."

"As soon as possible please." She added before hanging up.

Nick drove to the apartment he and Greg once shared. A black cloud came over him as he parked in his usual spot. He hesitated for a moment then got out of the car. He approached the door, fumbling for his key and finally unlocking it. The door opened and Nick peered in. he stepped into the room and gently shut the door behind him. He spun around and observed his home, their home. He cried as he noticed various things were missing. Greg's cd collection had diminished to a few of Nick's cds. The play station was gone, as was a few pictures. All that was left in the living room was a few lingering photos of him and Greg. He picked one up, gently he caressed it as he was reminded of their vacation in Hawaii. He stroked the picture watching it slowly disappear under his tear drops.

He snapped back to reality and began to put things in his bag. He really didn't want any of it, all reminders of what he'd once had and lost. After he was finished in the main part of the apartment it came time to go into the bedroom. He dreaded it, slowly he walked to the door and pushed it open. His eyes filled with tears as he imagined Greg sitting there on the bed motioning for him to join him. He shook his head and it was gone, so was Greg. He cried a moment and stepped in, eyes wandering. He walked slowly to the bed he and Greg once shared and sat down. He could hear sounds of a much happier time, but they slowly dissipated as he looked around. He reached over and picked up Greg's pillow and held it close to him taking in that familiar Sanders scent. He'd missed it, and before too long he was pleading with a pillow for his Greg back. He fought against his hurt and begged for another chance clutching the pillow tighter and tighter. If only he could talk to him again, maybe---Just maybe.

**********************

Nick sat on the beach and watched as the waves broke against the shore. Hawaii wasn't the same without Greg, but Nick had continued to take the trip each year on Greg's birthday, trying to salvage what was left of his memories. Two years had past since he'd seen Greg, and he was thinking about him more today then any other. He glanced down the beach, noticing lovers embracing at the water line entranced in one another. He smiled and drifted off into his own memory of him and Greg. Their first trip how romantic it was, how he felt having Greg with him. His mind played memories in his head like old re runs, hearing himself tell Greg "I will always be here for you G." and the love they made on the beach. Two people utterly in love and wanted nothing more then each other for the rest of their lives. He shook it off and felt as tears began to trickle down his cheeks.

The sun was setting, the most beautiful perfect sunset. All it was missing was Greg there with his arms tightly around him. Nick leaned back imagining how wonderful it would feel. He let out a soft whimper, realizing there was nothing there. Deciding that he should get inside he stood up, turning to walk off the beach when something caught his eye. He stopped and watched as a lonely figure walked down on the beach. He stood there in a daze. was it? No it couldn't be. He thought to himself as he walked slowly over to get a better look.

****************************

Greg's feet dug into the sand as he gently sat down curling his knees up to his chest, the breeze lightly blowing his hair around his face. "Happy birthday Greg" he said quietly as he looked out over the water. He smiled as he watched a couple playfully chasing each other along the shoreline. His head dropped for a moment as he felt the sting of what it meant being there, being without Nick. The wind picked up and Greg hugged his legs tighter, laying his head on his knees. He closed his eyes and remembered the happy times past, when he would have been laying there in the sand tangles in Nick's arms. All he wanted was to see him, two years ago he had decided it was better to stay away. Although he'd gone on and assumed Nick did too, he still never lost the love he held for him. He sighed deep and looked up at the darkened sky in time to catch one falling star. He smirked and made his wish. I just want to know he's okay, just to see him he thought to himself, as a single tear drop fell.

He breathed in deep and looked back at the sand. He could hear the laughter of the other couple which made him long even more for Nick. He closed his eyes and imagined Nick behind him wrapping his arms around him. Something he'd needed for so long and probably never have again, except in his mind. He got up and turned to walk off the beach, stopping to turn back toward the water one last time. When he turned back around and looked up on the grass he swore he saw Nick, his eyes filled with tears. It was Nick, he was leaned up against a post just standing there. Greg ran up on the grass, excitement filled him as he drew nearer. He stopped just a few feet away, he let out a gasp which got the other man's attention and he spun around.

"Can I help you?" The stranger asked looking at a now dumbfounded Greg.

"No, no I thought you were someone else. I'm sorry." He choked as the stranger turned back around. His heart still beating wildly, he turned back toward the beach. He sat down on a nearby bench and just cried, his head buried in his hands. Regret set in from going there, he should have left well enough alone.

*********************************

Nick walked hesitantly toward the bench, his heart beating almost out of his chest. He knew it was Greg, he felt it in his heart, that had began to feel like a million needles stabbing it. The hurt, anger and depression hit him all at once causing him to stop. He fought himself for a moment, thinking he shouldn't go to him. So much hurt and anger welled up in his body, feelings he hadn't felt in a long time. He stood there his heart in his throat and watched as Greg lifted his head and looked directly at him. There was no escaping it, they locked eyes. Nick felt his knees grow weak, his feet unable to move, he just stood there.

Neither man moved, they remained fix in disbelief. Nick fought with his feet to move he just wanted to run, but before he could Greg was already on his way across the sand.

"Nicky?" Greg asked in a shaken voice.

Nick didn't respond, instead just offered a nod. He couldn't find words and didn't want to say the wrong thing. "Ha, ah , happy birthday." He said shaking, fighting back the tears that were piercing his eyes.

Greg smiled "Thank you." He responded looking back toward the ground.

Nick didn't say another word, instead he had regained use of his legs again and turned, slowly walking away.

After a few moments Greg lifted his head and noticed Nick had walked away, disappearing in the darkness. "Nick!" He shouted hoping to stop him but watched as he kept walking. Greg went crashing to the ground; he just stared off in the direction Nick had left in, willing him to come back. "I got my wish." he uttered "He's okay"

Once in the lobby of his hotel Nick went to the front desk.

"Can I help you sir?" A peppy energetic lady asked.

"I don't know." He paused looking around. "Is there a Greg Sanders registered in this hotel?"

"Are you family?" She asked moving over to the computer.

"You could say that, I am his ahhhh, his Brother in law." Nick clarified hoping she'd buy it.

"Let me see." She said scrolling through names. "Yes there appears to be Mr. Sanders registered here. Would you like to leave him a message?"

"Please, tell him that for what it's worth, find me there." He said watching as she wrote it down.

"Is that all sir?"

"No, sign it Nicky." He added turning and walking out.

********************************************

Greg dragged himself into the lobby, searching for the elevator. His entire body ached, an ache he'd not felt in awhile. He approached the doors when a hotel employee stopped him.

"Excuse me Mr. Sanders, wait." She shouted running toward the elevator. "This message was left for you about an hour ago. It's from your brother in law" She said putting a piece of paper in his hand.

"My what?" He asked confused.

"He said he was your brother in law." She clarified.

"But I am an only child." Greg stated looking curiously at the note.

He opened it slowly and read the note. "For what it's worth, find me there…..Nicky." he said quietly. "Wait, where there? Did he say?" Greg asked confused.

"No, he didn't. I am sorry." She replied turning and walking away.

Greg searched his memory for the place in question. He thought about their first trip there, remembering the beachside bar. Nick had mentioned they had the best mai tai's he'd ever had. That had to be it, there wasn't any other place besides the room. He turned quickly and ran out the door and flagged down a cab.

He arrived at the bar, paid the cabby and walked down the lit path to it's entrance. He could hear music and sounds of people enjoying themselves. He paid the doorman and stepped inside. He drifted his eyes across the sea of people. He made a few passes before he noticed a corner table, there was Nick. He made his way through the bodies, across the room.

"Is this seat taken?" He shouted over the music.

Nick looked up, he smiled and motioned for him to sit down. "Glad you could make it would you like a drink?" Nick asked leaning closer so Greg could hear him.

Greg nodded and Nick motioned a waiter who quickly took their orders. Neither spoke they just quietly sucked their drinks. Finally Greg broke the silence.

"Nick can we go some place where it's quieter?" He shouted.

"I thought you'd never ask." Nick responded standing up and ushering Greg toward the door.

"Place is rowdier then I remember." Greg remarked chuckling.

"Yea, well 2 years changes things." Nick responded offering Greg a seat on a vacant bench.

"Seems odd that you are here." Greg said taking a seat.

"I have came here the last 2 years." Nick stated looking out over the water.

"On my birthday?" Greg asked shocked that Nick kept up the tradition.

"Yes sir." He responded still not looking at Greg.

"I don't know if I should be flattered or scared." Greg said snickering hoping to break the obvious tension between them.

Nick focused on the water. Every bit of him wanted to grab a hold of Greg and never let him go, but he knew he couldn't. "So, how have you been?" He asked trying to make small talk.

"Alright, and you?" Greg responded looking down at his feet, feeling more and more uncomfortable.

"I have survived, let's leave it at that." Nick offered before turning toward Greg. "Greg I miss you." He said fighting back his tears.

"I miss you too Nicky." Greg responded taking Nick's hand in his.

The first time in two years he'd felt the warmth of Greg's touch. His heart pounded deep in his chest. He gently stroked his thumb along Greg's hand. The spark they once shared had turned into a raging inferno. Every feeling swept over Nick like a tidal wave, he knew what he wanted, but also knew that it wasn't possible. Too much had happened.

"Come on G, I will take you back to your room." Nick insisted standing up leading Greg to the car he'd rented.

Once in the car and on the road Nick realized that in a few short minutes Greg would be gone again. He really didn't want the night to end, but knew he had no choice. It was what it was and despite how he felt at that moment it didn't change what had happened. There was a slim chance they'd ever regain what they had and he'd accepted it. They pulled into the parking lot, Nick parked the car and shut off the engine.

"Spose, I should head in and to bed." Greg said hesitating to get out of the car.

"Yea, I am sure whoever is with you is waiting for you." Nick responded trying to find out if he was alone or not.

"Who I brought with me?" Greg asked laughing. "No one Nick, there's been no one in my life since you." He added allowing his laughter to die down.

Nick lit up. "Really?" He asked pleased that Greg hadn't replaced him.

"Really, I just couldn't do it again you know? I didn't want to hurt like that ever again, so I didn't ever let myself get into anything my where I could be hurt." he stated simply, looking at Nick.

"Me either G." Nick responded, leaning closer toward Greg.

"So I stayed single, and well here I am." Greg added watching as Nick got closer.

The car began to spin as tension filled the air. Both men face to face, hearts beating rapidly. As much as Greg wanted to re visit old feelings and allow Nick to kiss him, in the back of his mind he didn't think he should. Greg cleared his throat and reached for the door handle as he felt nick's hand on his shoulder. Every single muscle in his body tensed at once, feeling like he'd bust out of his skin. He turned back toward Nick to wish him a goodnight and it happened. Without hesitation, reservation, all hurt, anger and disappointment washed away as Nick thrust forward locking lips with Greg. He resisted at first but soon succumbed to it, wanting more than anything to feel Nick again.

"I am sorry Greg, I just had to, well I had to know." Nick uttered in a whisper.

"What did you have to know?" Greg asked resting his head on Nick's.

"If you still loved me as much as I love you." Nick spoke barely getting it out as tears fell from his eyes.

"Nicky, Jesus I never stopped loving you." Greg said with excitement as he pulled Nick to him enveloping him in another kiss.

The passion burned wildly between them, neither wanting to let go. A million emotions filling each simultaneously. The love that was lost was quickly found. Nick ran his quivering hand over Greg's soft hair before pulling away from their kiss.

"Come in with me Nick." Greg urged tugging at his shirt.

Nick's heart sank again, memories of what he'd endured flashed in his mind, he backed away. "No Greg I can't, we can't." He insisted sitting back in his seat.

Greg didn't say a word, instead he just got out and walked inside. Nick fought with himself, he felt so stupid for turning him away, yet knew he couldn't open old wounds. It would be fine that night but there was never any guarantees. He struggled against his urges, his wants and desires. Suddenly he exited the car, determined to do the right thing. He entered the lobby, frantically he looked around for any sign of Greg, checking the elevators and stairs, he was too late, his head hung low as he turned to leave walking right into the clerk he'd spoke with earlier.

"Excuse me sir. Wait you are? Yes you are. I just saw Mr. Sanders."

"Yea, I dropped him off." Nick responded trying to maneuver around the woman.

"Hey, you know I hear the view from room 340 is great this time of year." The young lady added.

Nick's head shot up as he spun around, grasping the ladies shoulders. "Thank you!" he exclaimed making a mad dash for the stairs. He sprinted like his life depended on it to the 3rd floor stepping out into the hall way. He ran up and down the halls searching, till he found door 340. Standing there he remembered Greg outside his motel room, pleading with him. He swallowed hard and softly knocked on the door. Before too long the door opened.

"Nick?" Greg asked shocked. "How'd you.." His sentence cut short by Nick pushing his way through the door and taking Greg into a passionate kiss.

Nick pulled away from him, trembling, crying, "Greg we get one last chance to do the right thing." He said still struggling against his tears. "I want to do the right thing." He added laying his head on Greg's shoulder.

"What is the right thing Nick?" Greg asked choking back his own tears, as he gently rubbed Nick's back.

"Greg, I love you so much, I am so sorry." He pleaded letting gravity take him to the floor, Greg fallowing him. They sat there on the floor just holding each other, their tears falling on each other.

"Nicky, I love you too and I am so sorry I hurt you." Greg whispered in Nick's ear.

"I can't do this anymore Greg, I can't pretend it didn't mean anything to me. You mean everything to me." Nick insisted as he gently caressed Greg's face wiping his tears away. "I want to love you again, even if it's just this night and we part ways forever. At least when we walk away tomorrow it wont be on bad terms."

Greg agreed nodding with Nick as he helped him back to his feet and led him to the bed. Both men fell crashing together on the bed, tangled in each other. Their kiss full of passion as they fiercely removed each other's clothes. It was no holding back for either of them, nick laid Greg back as he'd done many times before, he slipped between his legs and leaned forward on him. Greg lifted his head meeting Nick's lips in a burning kiss, fallowed by feeling Nick enter him. Something he'd longed for and needed for so long. He wrapped his arms around Nick and pulled him down on him.

"Don't ever leave me Nicky." Greg pleaded as he gripped him tighter.

"I am here Greg ,I said I'd always be here for you." Nick responded, pulling Greg into another kiss.

They found what they'd longed for within each other. That feeling of being wanted and loved. For the first time in a long time both men left everything in the past, no hard feelings just pure love and desire, and melted one last time in each other's arms, it was as if nothing ever happened. They explored each other that night like strangers falling in love all over again. The night was far from over, Greg curled up next to Nick, laying his head gently on his shoulder.

"Nicky?" Greg asked taking his hand.

"Yea." Nick responded looking down at him.

"I love you." He uttered nestling back into Nick's embrace.

"I love you too." Nick responded pulling him tighter. Nick smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Greg's forehead. As he closed his eyes he didn't see the nightmares that had haunted him, instead he was finally at ease, finally, they were two people completely in love with each other and wanted nothing more then each other for the rest of their lives.

The End