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Feb. 3rd, 2005 01:21 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
girlnorth.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregTitle: The Intricacies of Grief, 2/?
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: None yet
Disclaimer: Yeah, right.
Previous Part:
Part One
Part Two
Nick could feel the tension gradually seeping into his body, and by the time he pulled into his parents’ driveway, his hands were cramped from gripping the steering wheel of the rental car. The house looked pristine as always, the yard perfectly manicured. For the amount of money his parents paid their gardeners, it should have.
“Wow,” Greg said, looking at the house.
“Yeah,” said Nick, embarrassed. He had never felt that his family’s wealth had anything to do with him, really, and tried to distance himself from it. A few of his sisters had the opposite view of things, he knew. At least he’d be out of their way when it came time to fight over the will when his mother passed. The thought brought him back to the reason for his visit, and he unbuckled his seatbelt, preparing himself to go inside.
“You okay?” Greg asked. Nick shrugged and opened the car door. He didn’t want to lie to Greg, deciding instead to say nothing at all. He popped the trunk and they both grabbed their bags before heading inside.
The house was quiet, and Nick put his suitcase down inside the door before looking around to see who was awake. He’d never known his mother to sleep later than six in the morning, but then she was probably heavily medicated. Still, he expected that someone was staying was her. He walked into the kitchen with Greg right behind him.
If his mother hadn’t cut her hair years ago, Nick would have sworn the woman sitting at the kitchen table was her. But it was his sister Audrey, her graying hair wound up in the same chignon his mom wore for years. Nick was sure she must have heard him come in, but she didn’t acknowledge his presence.
“It’s in the Bible, Nick.”
“Oh for Christ’s sake.”
“Well, exactly. You’ve never had respect for the Lord, and now this. Homosexuals go to Hell, Nick.”
“I don’t have to sit here and listen to this.”
“Then go. And you’re not welcome in my house again until you’re ready to repent.”
“Is that you, Nick?” she asked without turning around.
“Yes,” he said. He didn’t move toward her, and she kept her back to them.
“You’re in your old bedroom,” she said, shuffling some papers in front of her.
Nick glanced at Greg, who looked confused, and why the hell wouldn’t he? Nick’s dad just died, and his sister couldn’t even bring herself to greet him civilly. If Nick had observed that in someone else’s family, he’d have been confused too. But it had been about what he had expected from her.
“I have a friend with me,” Nick said, and that certainly got her attention.
“How dare you, Nicholas,” she asked as she charged toward them.
“He’s a friend, Audrey, that’s all. His name is…”
“I really don’t care what his name is. Get him out of Daddy’s house.”
Nick clenched his fists and his jaw, too angry to speak. Audrey stared at him, her disgust palpable. And when she turned her disgust on Greg, Nick had had enough.
“Fine,” he said, turning around. “Come on, Greg.” He picked up their bags at the door and left.
“Bitch!” he said, slamming the trunk. “I’m sorry,” he told Greg as they got in and drove away. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have brought you down here. I didn’t think it would be that bad. I mean, I know they don’t approve, especially her, but I figured once I explained that you’re a friend, a coworker, that she’d…” He was rambling, frustrated and angry, and he realized that Greg hadn’t said a word since they stepped into the house. “I’m sorry I put you through that, Greg.”
“You didn’t put me through anything,” Greg said quietly. “I’m sorry you had to go through it. Seems like you’ve been going through it for a while.”
Suddenly overwhelmed, Nick pulled into the parking lot of a McDonald’s and got out of the car. He hadn’t cried once since hearing about his dad, and he didn’t want to start because someone outside the family was finally breaking through the Stokes family façade. The anger started to build: at himself, his sister, his father, and even at Greg. He kicked the chain-link fence in front of the car and then wound his fingers through it, blinking away the tears he couldn’t stop.
He heard Greg get out of the car and approach him, and when he felt Greg’s hand on his shoulder, he tensed.
“Don’t,” he said, his voice harsh.
“Hey,” said Greg, squeezing Nick’s shoulder.
Nick hastily wiped his sleeve across his eyes. He wanted to tell Greg to fuck off, he wanted to shove him away and tell him to catch the next flight back to Vegas. He turned toward him, ready to do just that, when Greg pulled Nick toward him, wrapping his arms around him. Nick couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held like that, couldn’t remember the last time someone wanted to comfort him. He clung to Greg and sobbed.
He was embarrassed when he drew away from Greg, couldn’t look at him as he pulled himself together and got back into the car. Greg got in the other side and Nick could feel his eyes on him as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“It’s okay to cry, you know,” Greg said.
Nick didn’t answer. It was bad enough that he’d broken down in front of Greg, he certainly didn’t want to talk about it.
“We’re going to my sister Jacqui’s. She lives alone and she’s got the room.”
“And you get along?” Greg asked.
Nick sighed. “Define get along.”
“You know, I always thought you were really close to your family.”
“People always think that. One big ol’ happy Texan family, right? “
“Is this just since you came out?” Greg asked.
“Yeah,” Nick said. He hadn’t really come out, they’d found out. Jacqui was the most liberal of the family, and he’d thought she’d have been supportive. She hadn’t wished away his existence like Audrey, but she had chided him for being indiscreet. “Well, mostly.” Because it wasn’t like they were ever the Waltons. They were always too competitive, clawing at each other for the attention and approval of their parents, especially their dad.
Nick waited for Greg to ask for more details, but the questions never came. He tried to remember exactly when the guy with no filter between his brain and his mouth disappeared, and this new serious and oddly sensitive Greg Sanders showed up.
“Are you going to call her?” Greg asked. “Tell her we’re coming?”
“Nope,” Nick said, pulling into her driveway and parking the car. “We’re here.”
TBC in Part Three
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: None yet
Disclaimer: Yeah, right.
Previous Part:
Part One
Part Two
Nick could feel the tension gradually seeping into his body, and by the time he pulled into his parents’ driveway, his hands were cramped from gripping the steering wheel of the rental car. The house looked pristine as always, the yard perfectly manicured. For the amount of money his parents paid their gardeners, it should have.
“Wow,” Greg said, looking at the house.
“Yeah,” said Nick, embarrassed. He had never felt that his family’s wealth had anything to do with him, really, and tried to distance himself from it. A few of his sisters had the opposite view of things, he knew. At least he’d be out of their way when it came time to fight over the will when his mother passed. The thought brought him back to the reason for his visit, and he unbuckled his seatbelt, preparing himself to go inside.
“You okay?” Greg asked. Nick shrugged and opened the car door. He didn’t want to lie to Greg, deciding instead to say nothing at all. He popped the trunk and they both grabbed their bags before heading inside.
The house was quiet, and Nick put his suitcase down inside the door before looking around to see who was awake. He’d never known his mother to sleep later than six in the morning, but then she was probably heavily medicated. Still, he expected that someone was staying was her. He walked into the kitchen with Greg right behind him.
If his mother hadn’t cut her hair years ago, Nick would have sworn the woman sitting at the kitchen table was her. But it was his sister Audrey, her graying hair wound up in the same chignon his mom wore for years. Nick was sure she must have heard him come in, but she didn’t acknowledge his presence.
“It’s in the Bible, Nick.”
“Oh for Christ’s sake.”
“Well, exactly. You’ve never had respect for the Lord, and now this. Homosexuals go to Hell, Nick.”
“I don’t have to sit here and listen to this.”
“Then go. And you’re not welcome in my house again until you’re ready to repent.”
“Is that you, Nick?” she asked without turning around.
“Yes,” he said. He didn’t move toward her, and she kept her back to them.
“You’re in your old bedroom,” she said, shuffling some papers in front of her.
Nick glanced at Greg, who looked confused, and why the hell wouldn’t he? Nick’s dad just died, and his sister couldn’t even bring herself to greet him civilly. If Nick had observed that in someone else’s family, he’d have been confused too. But it had been about what he had expected from her.
“I have a friend with me,” Nick said, and that certainly got her attention.
“How dare you, Nicholas,” she asked as she charged toward them.
“He’s a friend, Audrey, that’s all. His name is…”
“I really don’t care what his name is. Get him out of Daddy’s house.”
Nick clenched his fists and his jaw, too angry to speak. Audrey stared at him, her disgust palpable. And when she turned her disgust on Greg, Nick had had enough.
“Fine,” he said, turning around. “Come on, Greg.” He picked up their bags at the door and left.
“Bitch!” he said, slamming the trunk. “I’m sorry,” he told Greg as they got in and drove away. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have brought you down here. I didn’t think it would be that bad. I mean, I know they don’t approve, especially her, but I figured once I explained that you’re a friend, a coworker, that she’d…” He was rambling, frustrated and angry, and he realized that Greg hadn’t said a word since they stepped into the house. “I’m sorry I put you through that, Greg.”
“You didn’t put me through anything,” Greg said quietly. “I’m sorry you had to go through it. Seems like you’ve been going through it for a while.”
Suddenly overwhelmed, Nick pulled into the parking lot of a McDonald’s and got out of the car. He hadn’t cried once since hearing about his dad, and he didn’t want to start because someone outside the family was finally breaking through the Stokes family façade. The anger started to build: at himself, his sister, his father, and even at Greg. He kicked the chain-link fence in front of the car and then wound his fingers through it, blinking away the tears he couldn’t stop.
He heard Greg get out of the car and approach him, and when he felt Greg’s hand on his shoulder, he tensed.
“Don’t,” he said, his voice harsh.
“Hey,” said Greg, squeezing Nick’s shoulder.
Nick hastily wiped his sleeve across his eyes. He wanted to tell Greg to fuck off, he wanted to shove him away and tell him to catch the next flight back to Vegas. He turned toward him, ready to do just that, when Greg pulled Nick toward him, wrapping his arms around him. Nick couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held like that, couldn’t remember the last time someone wanted to comfort him. He clung to Greg and sobbed.
He was embarrassed when he drew away from Greg, couldn’t look at him as he pulled himself together and got back into the car. Greg got in the other side and Nick could feel his eyes on him as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“It’s okay to cry, you know,” Greg said.
Nick didn’t answer. It was bad enough that he’d broken down in front of Greg, he certainly didn’t want to talk about it.
“We’re going to my sister Jacqui’s. She lives alone and she’s got the room.”
“And you get along?” Greg asked.
Nick sighed. “Define get along.”
“You know, I always thought you were really close to your family.”
“People always think that. One big ol’ happy Texan family, right? “
“Is this just since you came out?” Greg asked.
“Yeah,” Nick said. He hadn’t really come out, they’d found out. Jacqui was the most liberal of the family, and he’d thought she’d have been supportive. She hadn’t wished away his existence like Audrey, but she had chided him for being indiscreet. “Well, mostly.” Because it wasn’t like they were ever the Waltons. They were always too competitive, clawing at each other for the attention and approval of their parents, especially their dad.
Nick waited for Greg to ask for more details, but the questions never came. He tried to remember exactly when the guy with no filter between his brain and his mouth disappeared, and this new serious and oddly sensitive Greg Sanders showed up.
“Are you going to call her?” Greg asked. “Tell her we’re coming?”
“Nope,” Nick said, pulling into her driveway and parking the car. “We’re here.”
TBC in Part Three
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 04:45 pm (UTC)