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[inflowers.livejournal.com]

Title: So Beautiful.
Chapter: Twelve.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None, really.
Genre: Angst. Romance. Post-Ep.
Summary: Post ep for Feeling the Heat. Greg's angst about the case and the events afterwards.

Knock. Knock.
 
He patiently waited for the door to open, one arm holding firmly onto his daughter as she slept soundly against his chest. The other hand held onto their luggage, half ready to turn and walk away again. But Nick stood his ground, waiting silently and hoping against hope that his parents wouldn't look the other way. That they'd welcome him and Amelia into their house and most particularly not shun her for having two fathers, and no mother. Because that was just not the way things were done in Texas. At least, not in the Stokes household.

The door swung open to reveal a neatly dressed Jillian Stokes, smiling broadly at her youngest son.

"Nicky! ... And ... oh, wow. Nicky, I think you better come inside." She ushered him in, taking his suitcase and setting it at the bottom of the stairs. Her eyes never moved from Amelia's sleeping face, and Nick couldn't be sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, but he liked to pretend for a little while longer that it was a good thing. After they got settled on the couch, she turned to her son and looked him square in the eyes.

"Start explaining, mister."

"Well, it ... I mean, okay. First of all, where's Cisco. I want to tell you both at the same time."

Jillian walked into the kitchen to retrieve her husband, who smiled at his son but also looked perplexed at the sleeping infant in his arms.

"Pancho, what's going on?"

"Sit down, both of you. This is going to take awhile." He breathed in heavily, willing himself the courage to go through with it and not just lie and say he was babysitting. "Mom, Cisco ... this is my daughter, Amelia."

"Your ... daughter? But Nicky, I mean ... I didn't even know you had a girlfriend." Jillian seemed shocked to say the least. It had never occurred to her that her son wouldn't tell her about a grandchild. Just like it had never, ever occurred to her that her son may not have been as straight as they always thought.

"I ... don't have a girlfriend, Mom."

"I'm confused, son." Nick's father looked intently between the sleeping baby and Nick, trying to make sense of the situation.

"I ..." Sigh. "I have a boyfriend." He figured for the sake of prosperity, he wouldn't mention the fact that Greg was technically his ex-boyfriend. It seemed as though explaining it would be easier if they thought they were still together."

"Oh, Nicky. Why didn't you tell us that you were gay?"

"Because I thought you would be disappointed in me. I thought ..." Nick paused, trying to gauge his parent’s reaction. It suddenly dawned on him that their faces were not those of parents disappointed in their son. They were those of parents who just realized they have a grand-daughter and that their youngest son was coming out to them. And those faces didn't look judgmental, at all. It caused Nick to wonder why he had waited so long in telling them in the first place. "I thought that you wouldn't love me anymore."

"Pancho, we'll love you no matter who you love, or who you are, or where you live. You're our son. Nothing will change that."

Nick woke up in a sweat, his heart pounding fiercely against his chest. Taking in his surroundings, he settled back against the pillows and sighed softly, remembering his dream and how perfectly the meeting with his parents had gone in his head. Unfortunately reality was not at all like that.

'Yeah, I wish it had of gone like that.'

"I have a boyfriend."

"You have a what?"

"A ... Cisco, I'm gay."

"No you're not."

"I am. I'm sorry I never told you it's just that-"

"My son is not a queer."

"No, Dad. You're right. I'm not, but I am gay. And this is my daughter, Amelia. She's mine and Greg's. Greg is my ... well; he's my boyfr-"

"Stop saying that. You do not have a boyfriend."

Nick's mother sat off to the side, sobbing silently to herself while her son and her husband battled it out in front of her. It broke her heart to know that she may never see Nick again after this, but things were done a certain way in Texas and any other way just wasn't good enough. Nobody would ever accept Nick here, or Amelia. As she looked over at the baby who was now sleeping quietly in her pram, she wondered who Amelia would turn out to be. 'Maybe she'll go into law enforcement like Nick. I wonder what Greg does ... I wonder if they're good parents. Whether or not she'll be happy. Whether she'll ever know that it wasn't my choice to push them away like this.'
Jillian Stokes was brought up a certain way to believe certain things. And she brought her children up the same way. Even though she knew deep inside her that she would eventually learn to accept her son for who he was, she wasn't sure that she could risk losing everything that she and Bill had worked so hard for. It tore her up knowing that she was losing her son over something as trivial as his sexuality.

"I do have a boyfriend, Dad. And we have a daughter. Your granddaughter."

"No, I have four granddaughters already. And they all have a mother and a father. They'll all turn out normal."

"You think just because Amelia has two fathers, that she won't be normal? That’s disgusting and close-minded."

"I don't care. She's not my granddaughter, Nicholas. She's a disgrace to this family, just like you and your ... Oh god, I can't even say it. If you choose to keep being ... that way, then you will no longer be my son."

"Fine."

"What do you mean, fine?"

"I can't change who I am, Dad. I came here to see if you would accept me, because I owe Greg and Amelia that much. And you know what?" Nick paused as the anger seeped through his veins. "I owe myself that much too."

And he picked up his daughter, kissed his crying mother on the cheek and walked out of the house he grew up in. It wasn't home anymore, it was just a building made of bricks and a lifetime of regrets.

Reliving the experience in his mind, Nick felt the sobs begin to rack his body despite his unwillingness to let them. He hated crying. It was his biggest hang-up. He hated that he could never truly let himself go and cry for all the things that he missed, or for all the things that he loved and was losing. Nick supposed it came from his father’s perpetual need to toughen him up, make him into more of a man than a scared little boy. But Nick knew that underneath his tough Texan exterior that he brought with him to Las Vegas, he was still that scared nine year old, cowering in the corner of his bedroom in the dark, willing the scent of her off his skin. As his body shrunk into the foetal position, he groped blindly on the nightstand of the dingy hotel for his cell phone. The phone on the other end rang seven times before he hung up, resigning to the fact that Greg wasn't home. Scrolling through the phone for Greg's cell phone number, he let it ring twice before the familiar click of the phone and an even familiar voice rang through his ears.

"Sanders."

"Greg..." Nick managed to choke out his name before breaking down again, letting the tears flow down his face with reckless abandon.

"Nick? Nick, what's wrong. Talk to me."

"Greg ..." Choke. "I told them." Hiccup. "I told them everything." Sob. "They hate me."

"Oh Nicky, I'm sure they don't hate you."

"They do. He ... he said that I'm not his son anymore." Nick was still curled up in his bed, but his eyes occasionally wandered over to Amelia who was sleeping in the portable crib at the end of his bed. After his sobs subsided, he began to talk more fluidly. "That if I wanted to continue living like 'this', then I needed to get out of his house."

"So where did you go, I mean ... Where are you now?"

"In a shitty little hotel next to the airport. Don't worry, Amelia ... She's fine." Nick could feel himself calm down just from the sound of Greg's voice. He'd never realized how soothing it was before.

"I'm not worried about her, Nick. I know she'll be okay. I'm worried about you." A pause in the conversation made Greg ask what he had been wondering since the beginning of the conversation. "What did they say about her?"

"My mom didn't say anything. She stared at her alot. I think... I don't think she wanted us to leave. She's my mom, G. Regardless of what my father says, I know she'll always love me." Nick stopped and wondered whether or not to tell Greg what his father had said. "But my dad. He ... he said she was a disgrace. And that she wouldn't turn out ... normal, just because she has two daddies."

"I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill that bastard." Greg never usually swore, so when he did it was a clear sign that he was mad. But Nick knew that he was beyond mad. Even through the phone he could hear the venom in Greg's voice. "How ... Oh my god, I honest to god want to ... I can't even ... I'm just ..."

"Greg, you need to calm down."

"No."

"Please?"

"From the man who almost passed out from crying so hard, I don't know if that means much."

"I ... I just want to come home."

"Home?"

"Vegas. And I don't want to come home to an empty house. I want you back, baby. I need you back."

Nick could hear Greg's voice get choked up as he tried to respond.

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Why the hell not?" He could feel himself almost start to cry again. It had been one of the worst days of Nick's entire life and all he wanted was to know that when he got back to Vegas, he would have Greg's arms to run into.  "Why don't you love me?" He demanded down the phone, the days emotions catching up to him and making him completely irrational.

"I do love you. You know I love you, I always have, for christs sake."

"Then what is it, why won't you come back to me?"

"It's not that I won't, Nick. I just ... before I do, I need to know what will happen tomorrow. What will happen next week, next month, next year. I need to know that when it comes down to it, Amelia and I will be the most important thing to you."

"You already do know that."

"Do I? Swear to me on the life of your child that you love me. Swear to me that you'll always love me and that you'll be there, regardless of how many times I fuck up, or you fuck up, and that one day when you're ready you'll let me tell the world that you're mine." Greg paused and smiled into the phone slightly. "That one day we'll walk down the street with Amelia and that you won't pull away when I go to grab your hand."

"I ... Greg, I swear. I don't know when it'll happen. But it will. Now that I've told my parents, I ... well, I'm not ready to tell the world. But I'm getting there. I promise, I'm getting there." 

A knock at the door startled Nick, and he clambered off the bed to answer it. Swinging the door open he saw the most heartbreakingly, beautifully clichéd thing he'd ever seen. Greg, standing in the rain outside his hotel room, cell phone attached to his hear and tears streaming down mixing with the rain. Nick collapsed into his arms, grabbing hold of Greg like he was a mirage that was just about to fade away. But as Greg's arms gripped the back of Nick's shirt and he pulled him closer, Nick knew that Greg wasn't going anywhere. For all their highs and their devastating lows, Nick and Greg were simply made to be together. Like the woman on the plane had said to Nick, the rest of it ... it doesn't matter.

"That's all I needed to know, Nicky."

Curled up with Greg and Amelia on a shitty bed in a shitty hotel in a place that he wanted to forget, Nick had never felt more like home.

When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I will come to you.
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you.

-----------------------------------------
a/n. aw. well it had to end sometime. i was going to write where nick told the team and everything, but. sigh. i don't know. maybe i will. who knows. anyway, i hope you guys all enjoyed it. i had fun writing it. (and i know, i used hanson lyrics. i'm still cool.)

Comments

[bflyw.livejournal.com]

So I just have to imagine in my head the conversation with Warrick where Nick explains to him that Amelia isn't his niece after all, but his daughter? :-)

Okay, this is what happens.
Nick call Warrick and tell him he has something to tell him. Warrick comes over and see Amelia. He say something about Nick's niece still being there, and Nick say: no, she's actually my daughter..... Warrick goes all: WHAT? Nick is in the middle of explaining the whole thing when Greg walks in, kitten in is hands :-) Nick again has some explaining to do (Yeah, you see, Greg is her dad too....).
And while Amelia play with her new kitten, the phone rings... It's Jillian who wants to tell Nick that he's always welcome home. It's her house too!
-The end-

I really need to write more on my Lisa stories (My fear series). Hm.... I think Lisa needs a kitten....

[heartagram-lala.livejournal.com]

DONT END IT THERE!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!

christ that was just beautifully written.

i had a tear in my ear, damn cisco for being so closed minded!!! GRRR (i hope your dad's dad wasnt like that!!!)

but seriously curly that was beautiful.

i LOVED the phone convo, and greg being at the door... TEAR JERKER!!!

but me thinks u should do one more chap, maybe an epilogue, like one year later... and you can just say that nick and greg came out to the team and it took a while for eveyrone to get used to it but they realised that nick n greg were still the same people, just much happier and that was the most important thing. and that they all accepted their family and have nick maybe for the last sentence say to greg "i honestly dont know why i thought it would turn out any different. these guys really are like family"

or somin like that ... PWETTY PWEASE?!?!?!?!?! *pouts lip*

[heartagram-lala.livejournal.com]

forgot to mention jillian should reach out to nicky and say that no matter what her husband thinks or says, nick is still her son and she loves him and if bill wont let him into his house then she will come to see her son and her favorite granddaugter and son in law!!!

[inflowers.livejournal.com]

No, thankfully that part is based on fiction. My dads' parents were all really supportive, and they think the sun shines out of my ass. :)

[heartagram-lala.livejournal.com]

thanks god lol.

yeah i luv grandparents that spoil you, they are fun, and often rich haha

[wojo62.livejournal.com]

That was wonderful, I think it was a great ending.

[barush.livejournal.com]

aaw, happy ending:) what I've been waiting for!:)
and I think it's a perfect way to end it... maybe some NICE epilogue wouldn't hurt either though...LOL
but I think it's also great like that:)

[eriker.livejournal.com]

Don't apologize. Hanson rules and always will. Their new stuff is amazing and screw everyone who diesn't think so ;-)

This story was wonderful. I am glad that you wrote something that did deal with more real issue and didn't necessarily turn out fluffy and happily ever after. That is beautiful.

Thank you!

[tanisafan.livejournal.com]

Heh, yes, you're still cool.

Damn, that really was a gorgeous last chapter. Even though you nearly made me cry, you devil woman! And I think it works fine this way, it's more real because the eras of a life rarely have neat boundaries. I like the way you left this ending slightly open, but with the underlying feeling that everything will work itself out. And yay for the 'beautifully clichéd' ending.

I've loved this story, great work! Hope you'll write more soon?

[lspen.livejournal.com]

I think you have ended this story perfectly. Sometimes, things don't work out the way we want. We still get a happy ending even if Nick's family deserted him. He has a new family to love him.

I really enjoyed this fic. There was enough angst to keep me looking for a new chapter first thing in the morning. I appreciate that you posted often.

If you decide to conintue it, I will be there to read it. If you decide not to, you did justice to the story and it stands on its own.

Bravo. I think the lyrics are perfect also.

I hope we don't have to wait for you to be grounded for new stories. lol.

lori

[anchordown.livejournal.com]

*standing ovation* I loved it. I'm going to go cry now.

:)

x.H.
p.s. These song lyrics come to mind for me ("When it Don't Come Easy" by Patty Griffin): If you break down, I'll drive out and find you. If you forget my love, I'll try to remind you. ...And stay by you when it don't come easy. When it don't come easy...

[theboysgonehome.livejournal.com]

Oh! What a beautiful ending. The "cliche" moment took my breath away. Sad to see it end, of course, but I love the realism there, and the slight open-endedness (am I making up words?) of it all. Lovely.