nickngreg | Christmas Crack

A little bit of crack here for the holiday set to Pansy Division's Homo Christmas
Thanks to Chem for the quick once over. I have typo issues ~~often~~ sometimes...
Summary: It's Nick and Greg's first Christmas not only as a couple, but in the same house. Greg's got some cheer, but Nick's not so amused
Rating: It's not porn! Maybe it's PG-13 at best... Well, the lyrics used make it an R, but the story is just some holiday humor.

The year was 2002, and it was a momentous year. It was going to be an important and serious day. At least that was what Nick had thought was going to happen. It was the first Christmas that he and Greg were going to spend together. They had been together for ten months, which had left them just shy of getting together last Christmas. So, this would be the first. And what was most important was that one month ago Greg had let the lease on his apartment lapse, and he had moved into Nick’s place.

Greg had gotten out of the lab early, but early was a relative term. Greg had worked a double, whereas Nick had worked closer to a triple. In the end, it was Christmas day, and they were home at the same time.

Nick walked in, work gear in hand, to the sound of raucous music. He shut the door and focused in on the words.

Is a nice hard cock
You deserve a cute boy
Who's horny and queer
To make the most out of Christmas cheer

Nick wasn’t sure if he was hearing a Christmas song or some sort of litany of insults set to something that might be defined as music. “Greg!” he yelled through the noise.

In response, Greg began to sing along with the music.

I wanna be your Christmas present
I wanna be your Christmas queer
I wanna be your Christmas present
Have a homo Christmas this year

Nick quickly found the remote and shut off the stereo, finally letting the house fall silent. Greg looked over at him from his spot in front of a lavish tree that hadn’t been there when Nick had left for work.

“What the hell was that?” Nick asked, ignoring the tree and the decorations that had sprung up in his… no, their, house.

“That was Pansy Division. Don’t tell me that a homosexual like yourself hasn’t heard of them.”

“No,” Nick insisted. “I prefer not to be insulted. Give me some SheDaisy or Toby Keith or something festive for my Christmas. Not some man yelling about Christmas queers.” He stood resolutely in the middle of the room.

“Are you going to help me or just stand there?” Greg asked, holding up an ornament for Nick.

“What is all of this?” Nick finally asked.

“This? This is Christmas, Nicholas. It’s a holiday that we celebrate every year on the 25^th of December. It’s the day that…”

“I know that, Gregory,” Nick interrupted. “I just am curious as to why you’re doing this now, especially since we’re just going to have to take it down, like, tomorrow. Or, knowing us, it’ll be up for three months, all dead and fire hazard-y before we manage to get it down.”

“Fire hazard-y?” Greg asked with a raised eyebrow. “And I’ll take care of it, for fuck’s sake.” Greg pouted slightly. “I’ll just do it myself, and I’ll keep the music down, Mr. Grinch.”

Nick looked round the house. He had missed the holidays. He just hadn’t had time to notice it. “How about a compromise?” Nick asked as he picked up one of Greg’s ornaments.

“Yeah?” Greg pointed to a spot that he apparently thought would be perfect for the small golden castle ornament.

“I help you, but we listen to a Christmas song that we can both enjoy.”

“But they talk about sticking candy canes up each other butts!” Greg cried.

“They do not.”

“They do.”

“I don’t want to hear about it anymore.” He kissed Greg to shut him up and then went back to hanging Christmas ornaments - without music.