Falling Up Part 10

[emi-h.livejournal.com]

Title: Falling Up
Rating: Overall fic is R
Warnings: None
Summary for Part Ten: Things begin to look better
Spoilers: None

Parts One & Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine

Chapter Ten - Solutions

 

 

            When Nick went back to work he found that the case he and Grissom had been working on was solved.  The taste of bitter disappointment filled his mouth as he thought of how hard he had worked that case and the day he was gone from the lab Catherine and Grissom managed to solve it.  And when Catherine filled him in on the details, he merely smiled and praised her on her work.  He knew that it was going to be a bad day.

 

            Afterwards he went to Greg’s lab before shift started.  They didn’t get to talk in the morning when Greg came home; the lab tech had worked long hours and was so wiped out from helping with the backlog from dayshift that he fell asleep the moment he sat down on the couch.  Once he got to the lab, Nick saw that Greg was already working and he decided to leave before the other man saw him.  It would’ve been unfair to Greg, who was busy doing his job, if Nick complained about not being able to complete his assignments.

           

            There were two new big cases that night, a homicide and a high profile sexual assault, and Nick worked neither of them.  He was busy dusting for fingerprints at a robbery at a convenience store, and all the while his jaw was tight with a mixture of anger and disgust at himself.  Nick had barely even given the responding officer a nod before he went to go do his work, he was not in the mood to be friendly.  There had been shots fired at the scene, but no one was hurt, and the only damage was to the cash drawer of the register.  His case meant so little that a detective wasn’t assigned to it, which is why he was surprised when Jim Brass arrived at the crime scene.

 

            “Hey, Nick,” Brass nodded at him.  “How’s your little wife, Sanders?”

 

            Nick had gotten used to the fact that his relationship with Greg was now common knowledge.  He was shocked at how fast it got around, but it was kind of a relief not having to worry about keeping it a secret.  At first he was afraid about what Brass’s reaction might be, but out of everyone Jim took the most delight in teasing Nick and Greg about their relationship.

 

            “Oh, he’s busy baking pies for church functions and making sure dinner and a beer is on the table for me before I get home, you know, the usual.”  Nick liked to play along, the teasing was actually comforting to him.  “So what are you doing here, Brass?  Surely not to ask me about domestic life with Greg.”

 

            “Just came here to say that you pulled one of the most important cases tonight,” Brass grinned at Nick’s confused look.  “The responding officer called in the description of the suspect that the clerk gave and guess what?  It matches perfectly with a fugitive we’ve been hunting down.  He’s been convicted of four counts of murder, one of them was a cop.  He was also charged with five rapes, had a thing for young men, but was only convicted of two.  The bastard escaped when he was being transported, he was on his way to death row.”

 

            “Yeah, I remember the case, that was a long time ago.  We had to beat the Feds back with a stick.”  Nick smiled a little, “Well, this case suddenly became a lot more interesting.”

 

            About half an hour later, Warrick showed up with his kit in hand.  Nick felt bitterness rise up at the thought of Grissom sending someone over to help him because he thought that Nick wouldn’t be able to handle the case.  But the more reasonable part of him tried to soothe his angry half, he told himself this was probably the kind of situation that required two CSIs, which actually wasn’t far from reality.  The man they were looking for was a known killer and rapist.

 

            “Came to lend me a hand?  Not a whole lot to do here anymore.”  His cheerful tone was forced.  Nick picked up right away on how uneasy Warrick looked and he knew that it didn’t bode well for himself.

 

            “Actually, I’m here to take over.  Grissom wants you back at the lab,” Warrick shifted a bit nervously.

 

            “To run the prints and shell casings?”  Nick held up the evidence bag.

 

            “If you want you can drop those off, but Griss wants you to help him with his case.”

 

            “You mean he’s taking me off this one?”  He couldn’t hold back his anger any longer and felt a strange satisfaction when Warrick took a step backwards.

 

            “Sorry, bro, it wasn’t my call to make.  You need to take it up with Grissom.  If you ask me though, that man has some seriously screwed up logic.”

 

            “No kidding,” Nick said under his breath as he grabbed his kit and stormed out of the store.

 

=============================

 

            He found Grissom coming back from an autopsy.  The supervisor kept his face neutral, but there was no way he could’ve missed Nick’s pissed off expression.

 

            “Come into my office and I’ll get you up to speed,” said Grissom as he passed by Nick.

 

            Nick silently followed and slammed the door the moment they got into the office, causing Grissom to jump a little.

 

            Sitting behind his desk, Grissom sighed, “I know you’re upset about me pulling you off your case, but I need you here to help me with this homicide.”

 

            “No, you need me here so you can watch me and make sure I won’t screw up,” retorted Nick.  “If you think I’m bad at my job then just tell me.”

 

            “I think you’re a fine CSI, I just thought that you would help me more on this case than Warrick would.”

 

            “Stop feeding me this bullshit, Gil, and tell me the god damn truth!”

 

            “I am telling the truth,” he replied wearily.

 

            “No, you’re not.”  Nick’s accent began to thicken as he went on, “If ya don’t tell me the fuckin’ truth then I’m gonna resign right now!  Cause there’s ain’t no point in stayin’ here if my own boss can’t be a man and tell me that he thinks I can’t do my fuckin’ job!”

 

            Grissom paled at Nick’s threat and in a soft voice said, “I know you can do your job, Nicky, just as good as anyone here.”

 

            “Then why did you pull me from that case?  It would’ve made sense if you sent Warrick to help me, but you’re leaving him solo on an important case!  If you forgot, I made CSI three before Warrick did.”  Nick balled up his fists and started pacing in front of the desk, a habit he knew came straight from Greg.

 

            “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”  Gil had whispered the sentence, but it rang loudly in the office.

 

            Nick stopped to glare at Gil.  “That’s one piss poor excuse, Gil.  You don’t give a damn about what happens to me, you just want to make sure I don’t fuck up one of your precious cases.”

 

            “Damn it, Nick!  That’s not true, I’d die if something happened to you!” Gil snapped, leaping out of his chair and walking around his desk so that he was standing next to Nick.  “I don’t want to see you get hurt!  You were almost killed because I left you alone with Amy Hendler!  And if I had been smart enough to start looking at Crane’s most recent tapes I would’ve been able to protect you from him!  Twice I was the one to screw up and it was almost at the cost of your life, Nick.  I don’t want to screw up like that again and if it means keeping you close to me during work then fine, I’ll do it.  And I’ll admit that I don’t want you touching the fugitive case with a ten foot pole, not because I think you can’t do the job, but because this man has killed before and he rapes young men.  All of his victims were attractive men between twenty-five and thirty-five years old with dark hair and dark eyes, and you know what, Nick?  You fit that profile and I’ll be damned if you end up his next victim just because you were working his case.”

 

            Fighting the urge to hit something, Nick growled, “So you’d rather Warrick be at risk than me?”

 

            “If it means you’re safe, then yes.”

 

            “Damn it, Gil, it’s not your job to protect me!  It’s no one’s job to protect me.  I used to be a cop, I know the risks and I know how to take care of myself.  So don’t go out of your way to make sure I’m okay.”

 

            “I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.  I love you, Nick!”

 

            He didn’t know why, but tears filled Nick’s eyes, “But I don’t love you.”

 

            “Nicky …”

 

            “Don’t call me that,” his voice was hoarse from his emotions.  “I don’t want to hurt you, but I have to for Greg.  I don’t love you, I will always care for you more than just a friend, but I don’t love you, Gil.  I’m in love with Greg,” Nick admitted for the first time. “I’m not asking you to be happy for me, but you have to accept it.”

 

            It was hard for Nick not to let his emotions take control when Gil took his hand, pressed a kiss on his knuckles and said, “I don’t want to lose you.”

 

            “And you’ll lose me if you keep this up.  I want us to be close as friends and colleagues, but if you keep trying to protect me and keep trying to get between me and Greg I’m going to shut you out completely.  You have to trust that I can take care of myself and actually give me room to grow as a CSI.  If you’re going to interfere with both my personal and professional life, then I’ll have to leave and remove you from my life.”

 

            Nick could feel his heart break at the defeated look on Gil’s face.  The older man’s lips twisted up into a smile and squeezed Nick’s hand, “What hurts most is that I had you and I didn’t even know it.  I had the heart of the most amazing person in the world and I was too blind to see it.  How do you think it would’ve turned out, if we knew about each other’s feelings?  If we had done things right?”

 

            “I think it would’ve been good,” Nick answered truthfully.

 

            “But not as good as Greg?”  Nick didn’t reply, however his silence answered for him and Gil understood.  “How do I make this better?  So I don’t lose you as a friend,” he asked as he let go of Nick’s hand.

 

            “As I said before, accept the fact that I love Greg and stop trying to protect me.”

 

            “Easier said than done,” Gil grumbled.

 

            “Start by putting me back on the fugitive case with Warrick.”

 

            Gil frowned, “I don’t like it, you fit the profile of his rape victims.”

 

            “And I still fit the profile even if I’m not working the case.”

 

            Grissom thought for a minute and gave in, “Alright, work the case with Warrick.  Though the moment you start getting a bad feeling or feel like you’re being followed I want you to tell Brass so he can get a uniform to watch you.”

 

            Even though he was making the effort not to, Gil was still trying to protect Nick.  It bothered Nick, yet there was a part of him that was touched by the gesture.  “I’ll be careful and I’ll ask for help if I need it.”

 

            “Good.  Now get back to work, I have a lot to do, since it seems that I’m solo on this homicide.”

 

            Before he walked out of the office, Nick gave Grissom a soft smile.  “Thank you for trying, Gil, it means a lot to me.”

 

            And as the door closed, there was a quiet murmur that Nick didn’t hear.

 

            “Good bye, Nick.”

 

========================

 

            “You know, he might have a good point.”

 

            “Don’t start, Greg.” Nick had told Greg about what happened earlier at the lab, while omitting a few parts of the story, like Nick admitting his love for Greg.  But he had made it clear that Greg was his choice and by no means was he going to go back to Gil.  Now he was beginning to regret telling Greg about the details of the fugitive’s record, angry at himself for making Greg worry about him.

 

            “I’m just saying that I would feel a lot better if you weren’t on that case, even if it means you would be working with Grissom.  Damn, baby, your muscles are tense,” Greg said as he worked extra hard on the knot in Nick’s shoulder.  Greg thought that the best way to help Nick relax was to give him a back massage, though he was pretty sure he was working out many years of stress out of Nick’s back.

 

            “Trust me, yelling at my boss and talking about his love for me doesn’t relax me,” Nick mumbled.

 

            “My poor Nicky.  But you really think he’ll back off now?”

 

            “I think he’s going to try or I’m going to quit and he knows that I will.  Gil is a good person, he just doesn’t know how to handle his emotions that aren’t in a work or bug context.”

 

            “So now that things are mostly clear between you two you can work the homicide with Grissom and leave the scary rapist to Warrick.”

 

            “Greg, stop it.”

 

            “Well, when Grissom showed me pictures of the victims I was shocked at how much they looked like you.  I can’t help but worry.”

 

            “Grissom did what!?” Nick flipped himself onto his back, nearly knocking Greg clear off the bed.  “That’s a little morbid, even for Gil.”

 

            “I kind of asked him to.”

 

            “And why the hell did you do that?!”

 

            “Hey, word gets around the lab quickly, we heard about the case Warrick was on and there was a rumor that Grissom warned you to be careful because you fit the victim profile.  I wanted to know if Grissom’s worries were justified and you know what?  I think they are.”

 

            “You two are going to be the death of me,” Nick complained as he threw an arm over his eyes, busy trying to shut out the world that had turned against him.

 

            Greg straddled Nick’s waist and pulled his arm away from his face.  “We just want to protect you.  I think that’s the only thing I can’t fault Grissom for.”

 

            “I don’t need protecting.”

 

            Reaching over, Greg grabbed the teddy bear that was sitting on Nick’s nightstand and shoved it in Nick’s face.  “Mr. Sanders Bear says you should let Greg try.”

 

            Snatching the bear from Greg, Nick glared at him, “Don’t you try to turn my own bear against me.  Greg, you can’t protect me from my job.  Every time I go out into the field I’m always in some danger, but that’s why we have uniforms at the scene.”

 

            “They didn’t protect Holly,” Greg pointed out.

 

            “Then maybe I should quit my job and go work in a library?”

 

            “Hm, but then you’d be at serious risk of paper cuts, too dangerous,” Greg teased, but he understood what Nick was saying, even if he wasn’t happy about it.  “Okay, I’ll stop bothering you about it.  I’ll just be happy that you stood up to Grissom and leave it at that.”

 

            “Thank you.”  Nick wrapped his arms around Greg once the younger man laid down next to him.  He ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair and took in his scent, Nick was perfectly happy to just lay there with the lab tech.  Pulling back a little, he looked Greg in the eyes, “You know that I love you, right?”

 

            A lazy grin appeared on Greg’s face.  “Now I do.”  Sitting up, he leaned against the headboard and automatically Nick rested his head in Greg’s lap.  “Tell me something about yourself, Nicky.”

 

            Nick frowned.  “What do you want to know?”

 

            “What makes you so amazing?  What makes you Nick Stokes?”

 

            The insecure part of Nick told him to keep his mouth shut and to distract Greg.  But the part of him who wanted to make things work opened up and Nick told Greg everything, starting from the babysitter to the present.

 

            And after he was done talking, he was surprised to find tears in Greg’s eyes and a watery smile on his face.

 

            “God Nicky, I love you so much.”

 

- End

 

AN – Finally done.  Might be a sequel later, but I’ll have to think about it.  Hope all of you enjoyed my first multi chapter fic! :)

Comments

[girlnorth.livejournal.com]

Perfect ending. I loved the way Nick stood up to Grissom. And then Greg agreed with Grissom about taking Nick off the case, that was so... Greg. Thanks for the great read.

[sillie]

Nice. Go Nick for standing up to Grissom. *pets him* :3

[tanisafan.livejournal.com]

This was excellent! I can really see Brass being the one to tease the boys mercilessly, hehe. Oh, and I really like the fact that Nick is taking over Greg's habits =).
Go Nicky for standing up for himself to Grissom (although I do feel pretty bad for Griss).

Snatching the bear from Greg, Nick glared at him, “Don’t you try to turn my own bear against me.
Dude, that made me giggle out loud.

This was such a great read, I'll be sure to read a sequel if you decide to do one! ;)