Road to Oblivion

[loozy.livejournal.com]

Titel: Road to Oblivion
Disclaimers: I don't own CSI or WaT. I wish I did, because then there would be some slashy goodness in both series.
Spoilers: none specifically
Pairings: N/G, D/M, J/S *implied*, W/C *implied*, M/S *implied*
Rating: R
Warning: CHARACTER DEATH!!!
A/N: Thanks to Shiri for the help.
Reviews and critique are craved and loved.

Conclusion to the Apokalypse- Series, which was a response to nekosmuse's Apokalypse- Challenge which then resulted in this.

Pt 1- CSI: It's the End of the World as we know it
Pt 2- WaT: The World after the Day after Tomorrow





Save me from drowning in the sea
Beat me up on the beach

What a lovely holiday
There's nothing funny left to say
This sombre song would drain the sun
But it won't shine until it's sung

No water running in the stream
The saddest place we've ever seen

Everything I touched was golden
Everything I loved got broken
On the road to Mandalay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

There's nothing left for you to give
The truth is all that you're left with
Twenty paces then at dawn
We will die and be reborn

I like to sleep beneath the trees
Have the universe at one with me
Look down the barrel of a gun
And feel the Moon replace the Sun

Everything we've ever stolen
Has been lost returned or broken
No more dragons left to slay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way

Save me from drowning in the sea
Beat me up on the beach
What a lovely holiday
There's nothing funny left to say

(Road to Mandalay- Robbie Williams)




“He still has feelings for you!”
“Yeah, well, there’s nothing I can do about that.”
“Just stop it!”
”Stop what, Sam?”
“Stop pretending you don’t love him.”
“Uhm…”
“You’re always paying him more attention than me.”
“You’re jealous? There’s absolutely no reason to.”
“Martin, I’m not blind. He still is in love with you. And you’re in love with him.”
“That’s bull, Sam! I love you, Sam, not him!”
“No. Not anymore. Maybe you once did, Martin. But that’s an illusion now.”
”Please-“
“You never stopped loving him. It was just your wish to meet your father’s expectations that led you to breaking it up with Danny in the first place. And me, I was an easy target.”
“I never used you. Don’t tell me that I used you because that’s just not true. I love you.”
“Saying it over and over again won’t make it any more truer.”
“But I do love you.”
“I love you, too. I love Danny, too. But I love him differently than I loved you.”
“Loved? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I was quicker to see the truth and am way ahead of you; you are still catching up, Martin. You may have loved me once like a lover, but those feelings died a couple of years ago. And I’m okay with it, really, I am. I had years to get used to reality. Now it’s your turn.”
“Why now, Sam? Why now?”
“Because love is our greatest source of strength.”
“That’s not a sufficient enough explanation.”
“It is for me.”


The coyote leads them along dirt- chucked streets during the day.
At night they seek shelter in a cellar or somewhere beneath ground where it is harder to spot them.
He provides them with enough nutrition to get by every day.

For the night they have to take care of themselves, go out for food hunt by nightfall.
Usually it’s Nick, Warrick, Greg, Jack and Sam who head out, leaving Catherine, Martin, Danny and the girls back at camp. On bad days, days that they come in late and the chances to find anything to eat are slim to none, Martin and Cath go, too; in that case, the three girls are instructed to hide somewhere in case Troopers are coming.; all they then get to see is a man who can’t walk properly anymore, alone, and not on the company of girls, which would make the situation that much more dangerous.

They have been on foot for eleven days now, and according to the coyote, they haven’t even managed a quarter of their route. The blame lands solely on Danny’s, Greg’s, Lindsey’s, Kate’s and Hannah’s shoulders.

“You never should have brought those along you! They are a liability! Without them, we’d have managed more than half of the trek already.”

Nick doesn’t know how often the coyote’s been telling them, but it moves neither of them.
It’s not like they can just leave the five behind.
The coyote’s offered them to get them on another trek that’s specialized for ‘cripples, weaklings and kids that won’t make it anyways’. It’s a sugar- coated way to tell them where they will land then. Concentration camps might be something that the Nazis used a lot, but they are not that uncommon in other countries, and apparently the US have caught up as well.
In an unspoken agreement, they have taken on being even more protective than before of those the coyote considers disposable.
There are two men with the coyote that help him and are supposed to help them, too, but all they have done so far is harass them. It’s not in an obvious but in a rather inconspicuous way.
They urge Martin on to walk faster more than the others, telling him to just get rid of Danny so that he can catch up with the rest of them, even if they can keep up with them just fine, or tease Greg that he sometimes can’t breathe, broken ribs that haven’t healed properly hindering his air ways. The girls are their most targets, unveiled comments about what the men would love to do them if they were alone, or just yelling about how slow they are.
Makes Nick want to hit something.

They are trotting on the twelfth day, soaked to the skin by rain, cold wind pulling at their clothing, freezing their limbs. About half an hour ago, Martin and him switched the feather weight of Danny, so that Martin can rest his shoulders for a moment. There is something to be said about carrying Danny, though. At least his back is warm and more or less dry. The other man is silent per usual, just trying to make himself lighter than he already is. Nick wants to tell him that he could just as easily carry Hannah as well, in addition to Danny’s weight, but he knows that it won’t do any good.
Martin and Greg are behind him, the girls in their middle, Warrick and Cath up on front and Sam and Jack bringing up the rear.
They pass other travelers, all in search of the promised land. Nick snorts inwardly.
Promised land.
They once called the USA that, the land where you can find milk and honey flowing in rivers. Today you pay a fortune to get out of here. Last night they discussed the financial matter of the trek, as the coyote has thrown thinly veiled barbs at them about having to pay money after all. But they don’t care about money, that’s something all of them have in one way or another, they just want to get over the border and start anew.


“So, what’s going on between you and Martin?”
“Ice age.”
“What do you mean?”
“We kinda broke up.”
“You kind of broke up? I may be a bit old, but I don’t understand.”
“I broke up with Martin.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s still hung up on Danny.”
“So he just used you?”
“Don’t get all angry, Jack. There is no reason. He loved me. But just not as much as he loves Danny.”
“And since we are speaking of Martin, he is too much of a stubborn bastard to realize it.”
“Nicely put.”
“Thank you. I try… So are they together again?”
“I don’t think so. Martin might never come around to telling it Danny.”


“Have you ever thought about marrying?”
Huh?
“I mean, have you ever considered someone to be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
“I am with that person right now.”
“You’ll get some cookie- points later, G, but I’m serious.”
“If I ever want to get married? Sure. But it’s not like it marriages of the same sex are allowed.”
“But in theory?”
“Yes. Definitely. Why? Why are you asking me that now, Nick?”
“It’s just that I kinda thought about… You know… Maybe… You and me…”
“You want us to get married?”
“Uhm.”
“Nick!”
“What?”
“Yes or no?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“When? G, we can’t! Where do you want us to do that, huh? We cant just take a vacation and drive up to Vermont to get married.”
“And why not?”
“Because.”
“Uhum. Good reason, Nicky. Goooood reason.”
“Look, we just can’t.”
“Why did you bring it up then?”
“Just a thought. I would never have guessed that you would jump at the idea.”
“Why shouldn’t? Or am I the only one committed in this relationship?”
“Of course not. Look, just forget about it, okay?”
“That’s not something I can forget easily, Nick. What you were speaking of was huge.”
“I know.”
“Too huge for you? You think you can’t take it?”
“I know I can take it. And I know I am committed to you.”
“Then why are you freaking out?”
“I’m not freaking!”
“You so are.”
“Am not.”
“Am, too.”
“Greg, I’m just… It was an idea.”
“So you’ve said. But why?”
“I don’t know.”


Danny doesn’t talk much, but he talks. In a soft voice, always careful as though the wrong people could hear, even if it is just their group, almost paranoid. It’s not that he is saying something that could get them killed, but whatever happened in the Rockies installed a volume of fear in him that leaves him almost incapable of speaking at a normal level. You get used to it, but Martin misses his voice, misses the cockiness that Danny never lost, misses the comfort he carried when he had to soothe someone or when they lay awake at night, talking.
He misses the comfort of Danny’s arms around him, the quiet assurance and feeling of safety that he got. Now it is him that envelops the other man, hugs him at night. They are warming each other, as do all of them, and Martin never thought that he wouldn’t be bothered by the fact that Sam and Jack are sharing a sleeping place and are cuddled up next to each other.
“Martin?”
Spoken so softly that Martin almost doesn’t hear him in the surrounding noise of other scum lying in their respective places in the warehouse they chose as their sleeping place for this night.
“Yeah?”
“Think we’ll be okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t believe you.”
And Danny turns away from him, taking warmth and comfort with him, and leaving Martin alone.
And he is right.

“Nick? Are you awake?”
“Yeah. G, what is it?”
“I wanna talk to you. I need to talk to you.”
“What about?”
“Us.”
“What do you mean?”
“What are we doing here?”
“Uhm…”
“I mean, are we just fucking, are we friends with benefits or are we in a relationship?”
“Greg, we practically live at either your or mine place.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t make us a couple.”
“Do you want us to be a couple?”


When the coyote proposes that they cross the Rockies, Danny is instantly against it, as are Martin, Jack and Sam, and Greg’s feeling that something happened there that made Danny so quiet and unable to walk, is confirmed. Warrick asks for a night to over think it, and tells the others that they will discuss that matter during rest.
Neither Martin, nor Jack, Sam, Kate or Hannah look happy about that, while Danny is the picture of what is fear.
And Greg knows that the six of them will in no way cross the Rockies.
Wonders why he cares that they will probably remain behind or will have to choose a route of their own, since the coyote is determined to take that road.


“I don’t think you folks wanna go cross the Rockies, right?”
Jack shakes his head determined.
“No, in no way.”
Catherine voices their opinion. While she respects that something happened that they don’t want to talk about, they need to give a good reason why the Rockies are off limits for them. They are a group, they will stay together and if push comes to pull even separate from the coyote, but they need the truth.
“Why?”
For the first time that they are gathered as a group, Danny speaks.
“When we went to Vegas, we split up. It was the girls, Jack, Sam and Martin in one group. Me, our other partner, Vivian Johnson and her family. We chose the way over the Rockies. I made it. They didn’t.”
He takes a deep breath, trying to get a hold on emotions that want to overwhelm him.
“It’s just… They are the Rockies. There are others who try to get over them, too. And some who just want to rob those who try to get over the mountains. Cannibals.”
A choked laugh from Warrick clearly displaying disbelief.
“You gotta be kidding!”
Sad look from Danny.
“I wish.”
“How many were you?”
That’s Nick.
A shadow flickers over Danny’s face before he quickly rids his face off ever emotion and a mask appears in its place.
“Four.”
“What happened?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Why?”
“It’s enough that I was there. Not something that I want to relive it. Just let it rest, okay?”
There is nothing they can do. And they don’t want to know, not anymore. The devastated look on the faces of the New Yorker’s that haven’t been with them, are enough, but it is nothing compared to the look of absolute horror on Danny’s face at the mere thought of having to recount what happened.
So they let it rest.
It’s not like they don’t have any skeletons in the closet themselves.


“Has anyone seen Sara?”
”No. I went over to her place last night, but no- one would open.”
“I’m worried about her.”
“Me, too.”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe we should try her place again.”
“I was just there. Still nothing.”
“Maybe something happened to her.”
“Everything is possible.”
“But the world has gone to hell. If we went out now to look for her, it would suicide.”
“We are staying together, right now, if we separate, we are dead.”

“When I was looking for food, I went by Sara’s place.”
“And?”
“She was in. Wouldn’t open the door, though.”
“What?”
“I nearly knocked the door down, yelled her name, but she wouldn’t open.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you sure it was Sara?”
“Yes. I saw her. It was Sara. I even saw the gap in her teeth. There was no doubt.”
“But why would she do something like that?”
“She totally ignored me. Like I wasn’t there.”
“Maybe I should go and talk to her.”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea, Grissom.”
“So we should just let her be? If she’s not talking to us, then something’s wrong. And we can’t let that happen. She is one of us.”

“What do you mean, she was one of them, Greg?”
“I saw her with them, Grissom. She was with them and she was wearing one of the uniforms and she just-“
“Shut up, Greg. That’s not true. I don’t believe you.”
“She was at the lab with them, giving them a tour.”
“You must have seen wrong, then. That couldn’t b her.”
“”It was her, Grissom. Believe us. We both saw her.”

“Where’s Grissom and Catherine?”
“Went to the lab. They didn’t believe you.”
“Do you believe us, Nick?”
“I only have to look at you to know it’s true.”


The coyote leaves them standing alone, with a map, food and nothing else.
They decide to not got over the Rockies, but instead avoid them the best they can, choosing the longer route and the more dangerous entry to Canada in hopes that not as many will try it. They take their own time, walk at their own pace, rest when they need it. They are in a hurry, sure, they want to get out, but not at the expense of the other’s health.

Danny and Greg have come to build a weird friendship.
The one who doesn’t speak at all and the one who barely speaks are those from the two groups that communicate the best. Nick and Martin have come to suspect that it was their original nature, that they loved to make jokes or lighten up a situation while still being committed to their job, is the reason the two youngest of the adults have formed an understanding.



Since Greg’s still weak from his disease and the lack of good food isn’t helping his deteriorating health, Nick carries him on his back, too, just like Martin does with Danny, and while the two mules, as the girls call them, have been bonding via actual communication, Danny and Greg talk in Sign Language. Nick thinks it’s better that he doesn’t know what they talk about, judging from the mischievous smiles on their faces, but since Greg is smiling, he doesn’t mind. A smile on Greg’s face is rare and seldom, so he cherishes every opportunity.


“Sam?”
“Danny? What’s up?”
“Can I come up?”
“Danny-“
“Please, Sam. Just let me up.”
“Okay. Sure.”

“What happened?”
“Can I stay for the night?”
“Look, if you just tell me-“
“I can’t, Sam, I can’t. I jus thought that maybe I could stay. But if I was wrong, I better go.”
“No, stay. Is this about Martin?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it. Not today.”
“Why are you here?”
“It was either that or get drunk.”
“That bad?”
“Sam, I really-“
“I know. You really don’t want to talk about it. But, Danny, you know what they say about bottling it all up and-“
“Can we do that tomorrow?”
“Promise?”
“Yeah.”

“Martin, it’s Sam… No, I don’t care what time it is… I wake you? Good. No, Martin, no, it’s not a job- related call… It’s personal… Oh, you wanna know why?... That’s not it. Isn’t there someone missing in your bed?... You are? Great. Because I have Danny on my couch. He won’t talk about it. What the hell did you do? Did your homophobia kick in?... Hey, stop it. Danny said it was either me or getting drunk. Now, I know him pretty well-… Oh screw it. Yeah, he is dying for a drink every day, but he’s not drinking. And he’s been through some rough times since he quit-… Yeah, I know how long ago that was… But, Martin, he never really considered it. Today, he meant it… You didn’t see him… No! Whatever you said or did made him like this! He’s a wreck, Martin… Now, what did you do?”


The day they arrive at the Canadian border, Nick nearly weeps. When he looks at the others, he can see the same expression of disbelieving relief on their faces. Greg’s arms around his neck tighten and he leans his head back, feels Greg’s lips on his hair, his fingers stroking a rhythmic pattern on Greg’s legs.
They are there.
“Took us long enough.”
Upon hearing Warrick’s voice, reality hits just as a low chuckle escapes his throat.
Blood is rushing in his ears and he can feel his heartbeat exhilarate. His knees buckle and he about manages to sit Greg down before he can’t stand on his feet anymore and just plumps down at his boyfriend’s side.
They are close, so close.
“Seems almost unreal, doesn’t it?”
Jack sits on his other side and out of the corner he can make out the others settling down, too. They are not the only ones that will try and get into Canada at night or during the day, mind you. There are hundreds of fugitives that now build tents and fireplaces and make themselves as comfortable as possible.
To cross the border they need as much strength as possible so a day of rest has to be.


Don’t ask anyone how exactly they got over the border.
They will clamp down and turn away.
They will have tears running down their faces.
They will face you with haunted eyes that make a shiver run down your spine,
They won’t tell you what happened.


It’s enough that you know that not all of them made it over the border.
One of them might lead you to the border where you can find thousands of memorials for those who died.
There on a simple marble stone you will find names that tell you of a journey that started in New York and Las Vegas and ended in Canada and didn’t end the way it should have for some of those that made the trek.


Albert David Robbins
01/19/52- 12/11/05

James Brass
01/03/53- 10/18/05

Sofia Laura Curtis
05/16/72- 10/18/05

Gilbert Grissom
08/17/56- 10/25/05

Vivian Madeleine Johnson
07/21/66- 12/31/05

Roger Samuel Johnson
12/01/64- 12/31/05

Reginald Stewart Johnson
06/23/90- 12/31/05

Warrick Brown
10/10/70- 02/20/06

Samantha Danielle Spade
06/16/72- 02/20/06

Daniel Gabriel Taylor
07/09/73- 02/20/06

Martin Fitzgerald
05/24/70- 02/20/06

Nicholas Stokes
08/18/71- 02/20/06

Gregory Hojem Sanders
05/07/75- 02/20/06

Hannah Juliette Malone
12/12/95- 02/20/06



Does one know how often a heart can break
How many senses the whale got
Is it worth to have feelings

How many tears fit into the channel
Do we live again
Why does one wake up
What wounds does time heal

I am
Your seventh sense
Your secured floor
Your second face

You are
A smart prognosis
The principle of hope
A light at the end of the tunnel

Sometime I will find and love you

I am one of your colours
You can choose me
You can wear them
You can bleach them

I’ll tell you all the pins
I will imagine boldest dreams for you
I will explain to you
What I don’t understand

I am
Your seventh sense
Your secured floor
Your second face

You are
A save prognosis
The principle of hope
A light at the end of the tunnel

Sometime I will find and love you

Life is running red through our veins
I will serve it to you on a golden tray
You save me from the grey valley of tears
You make all the miracles happen at once
And I’m losing my ability to hear and see

I am
Your seventh sense
Your secured floor
Your second face

Your favourite colour
You most sportive car
Your deepest dive
Your glide

You are
A good prognosis
The principle of hope
A light at the end of the tunnel

I will find you and love you more than myself

I will love you more than myself
Sometime I will find you
I will find you or I won’t
I will love you more than myself
And I will find you
I will find you or I won’t

(Demo (Last Day)- Herbert Grönemeyer, translated from German to English)

x- posted at all_wat_fiction, csi_slash, wat_slash,

Comments

[viva-nova.livejournal.com]

-sob-

[loozy.livejournal.com]

*hands tissue*

I hope I didn't aggravate you too much... *unsure*

[viva-nova.livejournal.com]

Oh no... don't worry about lil old me :) I have a love/hate relationship with apocalyptic fic (more love than hate, that's for sure!)... I kept saying to my roommate "At least they died together!" haha, It was very well written, especially at the very end.. the last two paragraphs and the list is what hit hard.

Very good, though. So good.

[mistressmerr.livejournal.com]

It feels like the bottom just dropped out of my stomach. Kudos!

[loozy.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that... Really, I am...

[zippitgood.livejournal.com]

-sob-

The date of births to deaths at the end, that hit the hardest.

-sob-

Keep writing.

[loozy.livejournal.com]

*hands tissue, too*

Thank you. I will keep writing...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slytherin_girl/]

*sobs* *cries* *dies* I agree, it was the list. *goes to find something happy*

[loozy.livejournal.com]

*hands tissue*

*revives*

*helps finding something happy*

Thanks for reading it, though :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slytherin_girl/]

Thanks. I did enjoy it and thanks for having Nick and Greg die on the same day. If one had lived and one had died I would have really cried! lol