Part two of two
Oct. 27th, 2006 10:04 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
callista-mythol.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregTitle- Valentina Varðr
Rating-R
Pairing- Nick Stokes/Greg Sanders (aka Nicholas Merchant/Gregory Haareg)
Disclaimer - The CSI characters belong to CBS and Anthony Zuiker, not me
Genre- supernatural/angst/death fic/romance/ hurt/comfort/ Episode related
Summary - Finding your Soul's Mate once is hard enough, how about finding it twice?
AN: This is the last part in the Valentina Varðr fic and there are spoilers here for Fannysmackin', Grave Danger and Playing with Fire so if you haven't seen those then do lol!
Valentina Varðr
Part one: http://community.livejournal.com/csi_slash/820848.html#cutid1
Previously:
He fumbled to find a pulse until he finally had two fingers pressed against Gregory’s neck.
He felt the rest of his body run cold and his heart stop.
There was no pulse, not even a weak one.
“Gregory?” he whispered and when he received no reply he lightly shook the body cradled against him.
“Gregory,” he sobbed. Still no reply came and letting a tear fall from his stinging eyes he pulled his lover’s head towards his lips to lightly press them against his cool forehead.
He wasn’t even allowed to mourn properly though as he heard a cry from above and looking up he saw one of the Spanish merchants shouting at some of his comrades before he pointed his gun down at Nicholas.
Numbly turning to brush one last kiss against Gregory’s face Nicholas didn’t even flinch when the gunshot filled the air.
Then everything turned black.
……………………………………………………
‘Nicholas Merchant?’
Nicholas opened his eyes with a gasp.
Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...
Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...
-Once Upon a December, Anastasia
Las Vegas -Present Day
Greg ducked as an empty test tube went whizzing over his head and turned to grin at Sara who was scowling down at some papers she had.
“They break you know,” he said conversationally as he walked further into the lab and looked over her shoulder curiously. She growled low before sighing and turning to her best friend.
“These don’t make any sense, and I refuse to let this guy walk,” she said as she squinted at the papers again. Greg, imitating her, squinted too and they both sighed as they straightened themselves again. Sara glanced at him glaring playfully as he grinned. After a few moments though she looked at him seriously, taking in his still bruised face and gently reached up to touch one of his cheeks lightly.
“How’re you holding up Greg?” she said quietly and groaning slightly he dropped his head back.
“I’m doing okay, but I need people to stop asking that,” he said equally as quietly and she pulled him into a sideways hug to get his attention. When he was looking down at her she smiled a little.
“Not going to happen mister, you’re part of our very weird family.”
Greg was touched by what she said and yet still couldn’t help sighing as he shrugged.
“I want to move past this, but I need everyone else to do the same.”
“Yeah,” she admitted reluctantly, “Well if that’s the case you’d better talk to Nick then.”
Greg quirked an eyebrow curiously.
“Nick? Why?” Not like that was ever a hardship.
“You heard what he did to Pig right?”
“It’s been mentioned.”
Mentioned, ha! Every Lab tech he’s bumped into recently has regailed him with the story, ranging from Nick just punching the guy to Nick beating the crap out of the guy. It wasn’t until he spoke to Warrick that he got the true version and even that had him blinking in surprise. Warrick claimed that he shouldn’t of mentioned that he found Greg’s hair at the scene, said that the minute he did he could see Nick needed to hit something and that dumb punk simply had bad timing.
A guilty part of Greg felt he had great timing.
“Well he almost went postal again,” Sara said breaking through Greg’s thoughts, “Some guy beating on his boyfriend. Nick just about ate him alive.”
“Really?” Greg frowned. The Nick Stokes he knew was empathic, always willing to hear both sides to put the puzzle together but it did seem recently that Nick had a much shorter temper and the fact he’d shaven his head again surely meant something.
If he really thought about it there was an air of…grief that seemed to be surrounding his friend.
Why would Nick be grieving?
“Maybe if you spoke to him, I think this whole thing is bothering him more than he’s, badly, trying to hide.”
“Maybe…” Greg was barely listening now as he stared ahead of him in thought. Nick had always provoked certain feelings in him, ever since he’d met the Texan he’d find himself at least once a month having vague dreams involving blue ocean stretched in every direction, warmth surrounding him like an embrace and the smell of gunpowder and metallic blood was always the thing that woke him.
“Maybe, yeah. I’ve gotta go,” he said jerking a thumb over his shoulder and after one last brief hug he turned stepping over the shattered tube, not being able to help a small smirk at it.
…………………………………………………………
Greg stood on Nick’s doorstop, twisting his hands nervously as he tried to will himself to knock. It wasn’t like he’d never been here before, hell he and Nick always hung out together but there was something different about this visit. It wasn’t about him getting beat up either, he’d been to visit after the lab exploded and after Nick had been buried but there was a charge in the air anyway.
Breathing in deeply he raised one fist and knocked loudly before waiting for an answer. He rubbed his hands together again then dropped them when he heard the lock click undone. He smiled when Nick opened the door blinking blearily.
“Hey, did I wake you?” he said and Nick stifled a yawn shaking his head. Greg laughed and Nick grinned as he stepped aside admitting the younger man.
“What brings you here?” Nick said as he clicked the door closed and Greg turned to face him wringing his hands together again. Nick was watching the nervous habit and determinedly Greg stopped as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“I bumped into Sara,” he started and looked up when he felt Nick’s hand on his arm leading him towards the sofa. Letting out another heavy breath Greg sat as Nick joined him.
“Well you are best friends,” Nick said with a vague smile, “Drink?”
“Okay…” he watched Nick move into the kitchen before he continued, “She mentioned that guy you arrested today, the one beating on his boyfriend.”
He heard all movement in the kitchen stop and glanced over his shoulder. Nick slowly moved towards the entrance of his kitchen and stared back at Greg silent and pale.
“What’s going on Nick? You were never like this before, hell, I think you used to be the one Grissom used to rely on for being the level-headed one,” Greg stood and started moving towards his friend. There was a flash of something in Nick’s eyes, a memory of something, and it pulled at Greg’s sub-conscious.
“Greg,” Nick said in a low voice, warning him but Greg ignored it. He took another step and reaching out he grasped Nick’s shoulder, quietly noting the little shudder that ran through the body beneath his palm.
“What’s going on Nick?” he repeated and he felt Nick lean ever so slightly into the touch before he sharply pulled away.
“Don’t Gregory!”
“Gregory!”
It was like a flash of a memory, fleeting and bright, and he distinctly remembered the sensation of his back hitting a bookcase or some sort of shelving.
“Gregory? Who are you, my mother?” he teased lightly and Nick flushed turning as though he was ashamed. It made Greg’s heart ache.
“Sorry, slip of the tongue,” Nick mumbled and made to turn away but Greg caught both his shoulders and turned him around.
“Nick, please, something’s clearly bothering you, I want to hel…”
“Look at you!”
Greg blanched and blinked at the sheer desperation that filled that one sentence. Nick was looking even paler now but it was accompanied by fine shivers this time and Greg’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Nick, are you ill? Maybe we should call a Doctor.”
Nick’s bitter bark of a laugh startled him. His hands dropped again when Nick pulled away rubbing his hands over his shaven head as though in anguish, cradling it as he mumbled something. Greg, far beyond worried now moved closer until he could hear.
“Doctor, what can a Doctor do? Nothing, that’s what I did, I let it happen, and it keeps happening and I can’t do a thing about it…not allowed, soul mates can’t…no…”
“Nick?” Greg said quietly but Nick merely collapsed into his chair still cradling his head. Greg moved cautiously forwards until he quietly knelt in front of his distressed friend. Lightly he placed his hand on one of Nick’s knees and heard the man gasp before he raised his head. Greg felt his heart ache at the glassiness of the soulful brown eyes.
“I want to protect you but I can’t,” he whispered and Greg frowned.
“Nick, I can take care of myself,” he said quietly but Nick grunted and scrubbed at his eyes angrily.
“No, not like that, I mean protect you, but they won’t let me. Conflict of interests they said, what the fuck do they know? I can’t think of anyone better than a soul…”
“Nick!” Greg said frantically as his brow furrowed further in confusion, “What’re you talking about?”
Nick fell silent and his eyes widened as though he’s just realised what he’d been saying. Staring down at Greg in shock Nick shook his head and stood quickly moving as far away as possible.
“Nick?” Greg said turning to follow Nick’s path but the man was quickly moving towards his bedroom, clearly meaning to lock himself in. Greg quickly hopped into action and caught up with him just in time, catching the older man around the chest and causing them both to topple onto Nick’s bed.
Greg gasped as his ribs protested loudly, his hand instinctively reaching to cradle his side but he found a large warm hand already resting there. His face was currently buried in Nick’s neck and he could feel quick little puffs of air against his own neck as Nick lightly panted. Greg froze unsure of what he should do.
He’d always had a crush on Nick, how could he not? Nick has always been kind to him, had always genuinely laughed at his jokes and never looked down at him. He was the first to congratulate Greg when he became Level one. There’d always been something between them and he couldn’t help the way his body practically melted into the firm one beneath him, just like neither of them seemed to be able to not touch when they were close.
From the way Nick was still holding him it seemed he wasn’t the only one that shared that sentiment.
“Nick?” Greg whispered and the hand on his waist instinctively tightened making him wince in mild pain. The hand instantly relaxed and, much to his regret, dropped away.
“Sorry,” Nick muttered and gently tried to struggle out from beneath the younger man. Greg however was having none of it and sat up effectively pinning Nick to the bed as he straddled his hips.
“Don’t be…what did you let happen Nicky? Doctor? I’m confused, and I’m afraid I say stupid things when I’m all kinds of turned around so I think its within your best interests to rectify that,” Greg tried to smile but Nick was watching him with such anguish that it was physically impossible to do so. Reaching down he cupped one of Nick’s cheeks and blinked in surprise at the complete rapture that crossed Nick’s face then, as though he’d longed for that one tender caress all his life.
To say Greg was stunned was a severe understatement.
Did Nick really feel so strongly for him? And for how long? Must’ve been long enough to provoke such a reaction out of the older man from just a touch. The most important question of course was what was he going to do about it?
If his beating had shown him one thing, it was that you never knew what was coming next and if something good came your way then don’t, for the life of you, throw it away carelessly out of fear.
Nodding once to himself Greg leaned down again ignoring the twinge from his side as he did so and he managed to catch Nick’s startled eyes before he closed his own. Softly he brushed his lips against the ones beneath his own and then applied more pressure when Nick gasped, his tongue searching for the other man’s trying to provoke it into action.
As though he’d triggered a switch inside of Nick the older man suddenly grasped his hip again, his other hand reaching up to cup the back of Greg’s neck whilst remaining ever careful of the bruises still covering Greg’s body. The kiss deepened and Greg could feel his insides twist in a pleasant turmoil but what was most disconcerting was the familiarity he felt from the kiss.
He’d shared a moment like this before with Nick and he couldn’t even remember when.
Pulling back Greg inhaled sharply and slowly opened his eyes to look down at Nick. The sight before him was captivating, Nick’s eyes still closed and his wet lips parted slightly as though waiting for Greg to join him again. Though sorely tempted the blonde simply thumbed Nick’s bottom lip causing the Texan to open his eyes blearily.
“How long?” he whispered but something flickered in Nick’s eyes and he sat up gently moving Greg aside.
“Too long,” was all he said and he leaned his elbows onto his knees as he dropped his head forwards. Greg frowned and imitated the position except he turned his face towards Nick instead.
“So why do you seem so down about it?” he said trying not to sound so insulted but was pretty sure that some bitterness came across. Nick startled him a moment later when he laughed lightly and turned to look at the younger man sat beside him. His eyes roamed over the purple discolouring on Greg’s cheek and he lifted one hand to stroke over the bruise.
“There’s so much you don’t know about me,” he whispered and Greg snorted as he quirked an eyebrow.
“Playing the cryptic card are we Nicky? Because no offence man but you’re pretty much an open book, you can’t even maintain a poker face.”
Nick smirked but the gesture was far from happy, instead it looked tortured and Greg frowned. This wasn’t the Nick he knew, this Nick was genuinely filled with grief and his usually sunny aura seemed to have darkened. It wasn’t right.
“Grissom told me,” Nick turned away now, “That you’re pretty much into the supernatural. That you claim you have a ‘gift’ that your Nana Olaf had too.”
Okay, weird topic changing tactic but Greg rolled with it.
“Yeah, what of it?”
“Do you believe in reincarnation?” Nick said and his face was so serious that Greg bit back any ice-breaking comments he could think of. Deciding to treat it as a perfectly normal conversation he nodded.
“Sure, I like to think that our energy is used over and over. Makes sense when you think about it.”
“What about Soul Mates?”
Greg blinked. He, as the Lab crazy, was allowed to have romantic notions of Soul Mates but Nick was supposed to be the logical romantic, not the fantastical one.
“Well…I personally like to think they exist, it’s nice to think that someone will love you over all the years right?”
“Right,” Nick said softly and brushed his thumb over Greg’s bruise again, “And what about Angels?”
“Nick, what is this all about?” Greg said sighing. Nick looked away clearly having some internal battle with himself before he got up to kneel in front of Greg instead. Greg blushed furiously but maintained eye contact as best he could. The pink colouring did make Nick smile properly for the first time though. He swallowed heavily a moment later before licking his lips in preparation of speech.
“Greg, I’ve met you before.”
Greg blinked.
He blinked again.
Then he grinned with his eyebrows raised.
“Sorry?” he said with a faint chuckle and Nick glanced away briefly before darting his eyes back again.
“1801, you and I met for the first time aboard the HMS Heureux. Your name was Gregory Haareg…”
“Nick…”
“Your name was Gregory Haareg,” Nick spoke louder over Greg’s voice effectively cutting him off, “And you were one of the Ship’s Master’s Mates. I was the Ships Surgeon, Doctor Nicholas Merchant, and the first time we met you practically assaulted me to get my attention…”
“Nick this is ridiculous! Did Hodge’s put you up to…”
“In June the following year you approached me romantically and I ran like a coward but you gave me a second chance and we fell in love Greg, we did…”
“Nick, stop it…”
“I knew then you were my Soul Mate and I knew after, and when you were killed right in front of me I felt everything good inside of me die with you…”
“Stop it…”
“I still love you now, both you, Greg, and Gregory…”
“STOP!”
Nick stilled his tongue and Greg stared down at him in bewilderment. His heart was racing and he could hear his own quick breathing as he stared at Nick’s sorrowful brown eyes before shaking his head minutely.
“I can’t believe you’d actually go through with this, whoever set it up, especially after what’s just happened,” he said, his voice pained and Nick moved closer tightening his grip on Greg’s knee.
“I’m not doing this as a joke Greg, you know it, you know me! I love you, please believe me.”
“I can’t,” Greg whispered again and made to move away but Nick had already stood backwards. He stood tall and his eyes were so pained but he managed to keep himself steady as he spoke again.
“I can prove it, please.”
Greg looked at him and could feel all different things inside him pulling in every direction. One voice, however, was getting particularly louder in his head and he momentarily focused on it.
My foolish Doctor! My brave Doctor!
“I can prove it,” Nick whispered again before closing his eyes.
Nothing could’ve prepared Greg for what happened next.
Slowly, carefully uncurling from behind Nick Greg felt his jaw drop as he first saw one wing twist out until it was sat properly on Nick’s back, a second one joining it in the exact same manner a minute later. They stretched out, the great wingspan causing the tips of the magnificent wings to brush against the bedroom walls and Greg felt his heart lurch into his throat. Brilliant white feathers spread slightly until Greg’s eyes trailed to the black tips and (rather bizarrely) Greg vaguely remembered Nick showing him a picture of some breed of goose, snow probably, that had a similar colouring.
Blinking he couldn’t believe he was comparing Nick’s wings (and wasn’t that a thought!) to some goose’s. Hodges always did say he had a weird thought pattern when under stress.
He hadn’t realised Nick’s eyes were open again and watching him closely as he took in the sight of the brilliant wings stretched from wall to wall. It wasn’t until they bent slightly to fold in that Greg moved his eyes from them to brown irises.
“Wha…” Greg started but his voice gave out before he could finish.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you,” Nick whispered and his voice was quivering now as he made to move forwards, “They won’t let me join myself to you as a Guardian so I didn’t know that it would happen. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…”
Nick continued whispering his apologies until he scrunched his face lightly to stop any unwanted tears escaping. Greg could see Nick’s knees quaver and he watched as he fell to the floor with his arms around his stomach, the wings open and spread out against the carpet.
Not knowing what else to do Greg moved forwards and knelt in front of the grief-stricken man, gripping Nick’s face in his hands and he pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead. They didn’t move, simply resting like that with Greg’s lips resting on Nick’s cool skin but then the younger man pulled away and stood.
And then he ran.
…………………………………………………………….
Heart don't fail me now,
Courage don't desert me,
Don't turn back now that we're here.
People always say,
Life is full of choices,
No one ever mentions fear.
-Journey to the Past, Anastasia
Greg didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed that Nick didn’t come into work the next night. He himself hadn’t gotten any rest since he last saw the other man and he wished his mind would simply stop for a moment, long enough to let him nap at least.
He just couldn’t banish the image of Nick stood before him, white black-tipped wings stretched out as though preparing for flight and if Nick had managed to prove that part then what was to say that everything else he’d claimed about them wasn’t true?
Clearly it was time to put his CSI skills to the test.
Waiting until his lunch break Greg snuck into one of the computer labs and he tapped his fingers impatiently against the desk as he waited for the Internet to load up. When it finally appeared he rubbed his hands together nervously before straining his memory to remember what names it was Nick said last night. He started typing as soon as did.
Gregory Haareg
Did you mean Gregory Haarig?
Well that one clearly wasn’t going to work (and Greg ignored the slight pang of disappointment he felt then), he could distinctively remember Nick pronouncing it REG and not RIG. He tried again, using the only other name he had.
Nicholas Merchant, Doctor
HMS Heureux (1800) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: The HMS Heureux was a 22 gun…Lost at sea in 1806…Nicholas Merchant, Ship’s Surgeon, killed in battle…
Greg froze as his cursor hovered over the link. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Hadn’t Nick claimed that he’d been the Ship’s surgeon, and that the ship they’d met on was the Heureux? Breathing quicker he clicked on the link.
He skimmed the information of the actual ship, of its disappearance and its battles until he found another link leading him towards the crew’s history and he started scrolling down the page.
COMBE William – Commander, Captain of HMS Heureux
FRANKLIN Harold – Captain and Station Commandant
MERCHANT Nicholas – Ship’s Surgeon and Naturalist
GIBSON Jack – Master of Heureux
BROWN Philippe – Master’s Mate of Heureux
HAAREG Gregory – Master’s Mate of Heureux
Greg released his finger from the mouse and stared at the name in shock. There was the name, the very same names that Nick has said last night and Greg couldn’t bring himself to close his slack jaw. Gregory Haareg and Nicholas Merchant. Haareg didn’t have a link but Merchant’s name was highlighted in blue ready to lead off to some link somewhere and excited now Greg clicked on it.
He found himself on a historical site and (after briefly panicking and looking over his shoulder) he noted that it was a gay historical site. There were links leading to all kinds of places, Greek History, Oscar Wilde, Alexander and what not but the one that caught his eye was a link titled “Ship’s Log”. Clicking it he skimmed over the information until he reached the rumours of the 1800’s. That had been the time Nick had said right?
Again he double clicked the mouse and was rewarded with a list of different ship names, and there, once again, was the HMS Heureux. He followed it.
His entire body stilled when the screen came up.
There was an image there, a painting clearly from the same era and it didn’t merely resemble Nick, it was Nick! He had longer hair, granted, and he was holding himself more stiffly then he would in real life (but then Greg always felt that those paintings always did look rather morbid) but it was Nick on the screen. He looked at the blurb underneath and once again found that now familiar name, Nicholas Merchant.
Across from the startling image was another, less grander painting of a young man clearly accompanied by his parents. He had shoulder length curling blonde hair and this painter had obviously decided to go for a more realistic image by adding the cheerful light into the brown eyes set into the youthful face. What surprised Greg the most was how similar he and this…this Gregory Haareg looked.
Scrubbing his hands down his face Greg leaned back in his seat trying to absorb it all. He moved one hand to his mouth to bite his thumbnail absently but he pulled himself together enough to lean forwards again and at least read what had been written. Scrolling down he finally settled himself close to the screen and started reading.
It wasn’t unheard of for men to seek comfort with other men on long voyages back in the 17th and 18th Century but that wasn’t to say it was any more accepted as anywhere else. The ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy may have been written in later years but it has always been in use regardless.
There is evidence to suggest that such an occurrence happened upon the HMS Heureux, the ship that mysteriously disappeared in 1806 around the Bermuda Triangle, between the Ship’s Surgeon, a Doctor Nicholas Merchant, and one of the Ship’s Masters, a Master Gregory Haareg. It has never been proven for certain whether they had indeed engaged in a homosexual relationship but various journal entries from both men and other crewmen left at port have suggested so and there was a rumour apparently recorded by one of Merchant’s servants that at one point when the ship docked back in England that Master Haareg had remained with Merchant at his country home in Essex.
It is safe to assume though that there was certainly a deeper relationship than others thought as it was recorded that Haareg, after being shot and killed, fell overboard and Merchant had attempted to save him by diving in after him.
Both men were lost to the sea.
Greg didn’t know when his eyesight had gotten blurry but he couldn’t help blinking back the tears threatening to fall. It all sounded so simple when written down in a factual manner but already Greg was getting flashes of memories; a cannon firing, Nicholas’s voice calling his name, the warmth of their backs pressed together in battle. It was all so over-whelming and after quickly scrubbing at his stinging eyes Greg hit the print button. Leaning back he cupped his hands over his mouth as he thought.
Nick was telling the truth.
Nick was some form of Angel.
Nick and Greg had been lovers in a past life.
They were Soul Mates.
The printer whirred loudly as it finished printing the pages and Greg shook his head as he quickly grabbed them up. Cradling them to his chest he shut down the computer as fast as he could before heading towards the locker room to store his findings until the end of shift. Before he closed the door again though he found himself looking down at the image of Nicholas and he gently caressed his thumb over the photo. He hated the sadness that seemed to permeate from the painting and making a silent vow he then tucked them away in his side bag and closed his locker.
He would go to Nick’s after shift, come hell or high water.
……………………………………………………
Somewhere down this road,
I know someone's waiting,
Years of dreams just can't be wrong.
Arms will open wide,
I'll be safe and wanted,
Finally home where I belong.
-Journey to the Past, Anastasia
Once again he was standing in front of Nick’s door but this time he was clutching the papers as though they were a lifeline. Raising his fist he hesitated then tensed and knocked once loudly. He waited but when no one came to the door he knocked again.
“Nick? It’s Greg. Please, open the door,” he said through the wood and as he leant against the door he leaned on the handle by accident but found it swung open. Staring down at it for a moment he debated about entering but decided that after his spectacular runaway yesterday the only way Nick was going to listen was if Greg invited himself in.
Once inside he clicked the door closed behind him and surveyed the dark, seemingly empty house. He quickly scanned both the kitchen and living room before heading towards the bedroom, the last place he’d left Nick. When he quietly opened the door he peeked in and felt his heart swell slightly at the scene before him.
Nick was sprawled out on his front, arms flung to both sides and the man was quite clearly down and out. He had stress marks around his eyes and there were dark rings underneath the lowered lashes. But what really showed the man’s exhaustion was the fact that he’d left his wings out, one curled around him as he slept and the other stretched out so that the tip was brushing the floor.
Greg had never seen anything more beautiful.
Moving quietly towards the bed he carefully placed the papers down onto Nick’s bedside cabinet before he lowered himself to sit beside the man on the bed. Tentatively he brushed a strand of hair out of Nick’s face and he twisted slightly until he was led on his side facing the sleeping angel. He slowly slipped his arm under the extended wing and draped his arm over Nick’s hips before shuffling forwards trying his best not to rock the bed.
When he was close enough he brushed his lips across Nick’s forehead and watched as Nick’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. He did it again and Nick frowned again but this time he moaned lightly as well.
“Nicky,” Greg whispered and he lay his head down so that the tip of his nose brushed Nick’s. The pliant body began to awaken properly and Greg’s heart started pounding when groggy brown eyes started blinking open. He watched as confusion, then recognition, and finally fear filled them and, trying to chase away the fear, Greg reached up to brush the back of his hand across Nick’s clammy cheek.
“Hey,” he said quietly and at first Nick remained silent. He shook his head minutely a minute later though and managed to answer croakily.
“Hey.”
“I’m sorry about last night…you kinda freaked me out.”
Greg smirked as Nick flushed but seemed to accept the excuse. He was pretty sure he could be excused one freak out, as it wasn’t all that common that angels appeared before you claiming to be your ex-lover.
“Sorry.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I just needed time to get my head round it.”
“Did you?”
Instead of answering Greg rolled towards the cabinet to grab the papers he’d put down and then rolled back with them in hand. He flicked through them for lack of anything better to do then handed them over to Nick who took them not realising the movement caused his wing to cover Greg’s legs. Afraid that he might remove them Greg said nothing and slowly edged his hand down towards it.
Nick glanced through the information with his eyebrows slowly climbing higher and higher until he looked back up at his companion.
“You researched all of this?”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t believe you, It’s just I needed to…”
“Understand, no I get that.”
They fell silent again as Nick continued to read and finally Greg’s knuckles brushed against the strong humerus bone of the wing. Ever so slowly he stretched out his fingers until his tips were brushing against the soft feathers and he couldn’t help stroking them lightly. He was so busy watching his hand run through the smooth feathers that he hadn’t noticed that Nick had lowered the papers and was now watching him.
It wasn’t until the wing moved (making him jump) up until he was cocooned inside, his body pressed up against Nick’s as his wing sheltered them both. Glancing at Nick as though asking permission he smiled a little when Nick nodded and he reached up to stroke over the length of his feathery shield. He tangled his fingers in amongst the downy feathers and then trailed his finger down the stems of the primary feathers until he reached the blackened tips.
“Beautiful,” he whispered and turned to Nick when a strong arm fell gently over his stomach pulling him closer. He and Nick were pressed pretty tightly together now and he used his unoccupied hand to stroke Nick’s jaw, and then cupped it pulling Nick forwards and making their lips meet.
The kiss was languid as they both explored inquisitively. Tongues fleetingly pushed together before they attempted to memorise the interiors of one another’s mouths, Nick’s thumb on his stomach moving in an arch as he continued stroking the velvety wing.
“Are we really Soul Mates?” Greg said as he pulled away, their lips still touching but no longer kissing and both their eyes closed. He felt Nick nod when they both opened their eyes.
“Do you really need an answer from me for that?” Nick said in retort and Greg silently regarded his new lover for a moment before shaking his head.
“I’m not Gregory anymore,” he said quietly and Nick smiled understandably.
“You’re not a stand in. You are Gregory, at least your soul is, just like your Greg. You’re both the same and different and I love both versions of you, just like I’ll love every version of you.”
Greg didn’t know what he could say to that and so settled for another kiss instead.
“You’ll tell me though, about him, right?”
“I’ll tell you about us as well.”
Greg smiled widely then and even chuckled slightly when Nick gave him one his own joyful ones. There was something though that nagged at Greg’s conscious.
“Why are you an angel and I’m not?” he said and Nick sighed, his appearance seemingly becoming haunted.
“We got separated by accident. I hadn’t realised you’d chosen not to become an angel so I said yes. You however continued onto Heaven to wait to be reincarnated with me…the movies have it wrong; you can’t find someone within a day up there, you aren’t automatically reunited with your loved ones, you have to look for decades sometimes, even centuries. Do you know how many souls are in Heaven? It’s the world’s population all over again. So I’ve been waiting for you to return to Earth so I could find you, an Angel looking on Earth is an entirely different ball game.”
Greg nodded then slapped a hand to his head with a husky chuckle.
“This is insane,” he mumbled and he curled his arm tighter around Nick. He paused for a second then turned his face back to Nick.
“Nick, if we died in 1805…and there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say…and you’ve been waiting for me ever since that means you’ve, what, been waiting…”
“181 years,” Nick said quietly and Greg opened his mouth to say something. Oddly he couldn’t say a thing.
“Soul Mates remember,” Nick said smiling gently as he tucked Greg’s hair over his ear and then stroked his bruised cheek.
“This is mad!”
“Tell me about it, I’m 215 years old, I’ve pretty much watched Science grow and I have to sit and take it when Grissom talks to me as though explaining it to a five year old for the first time. Hell, I’m older than Darwin!”
Greg burst out laughing and sat up enough for his head to brush against Nick’s wing.
“I’m Soul Mates with a guy older than Darwin?”
“And studied at the same University as him, yeah.”
Greg started laughing again and Nick joined in with him although a little more quietly as Greg settled himself across Nick’s chest.
“What’d you do for your bicentennial birthday?” Greg said with a wicked smirk and Nick rolled his eyes as he groaned.
“Got absolutely shit-faced drunk, I still hadn’t found you at that point.”
Greg moved to straddled Nick’s hips then, again ignoring the twinge of his still sore ribs and linking their fingers together he pinned Nick’s hands either side of his head. They fell silent as they studied one another’s faces, expressions loving until Greg leaned down to claim his lover’s lips once again.
Hands began wandering as they deepened the kiss once more, Nick’s hands barely touching Greg as they ran up under his shirt trying not to cause him any further pain. They shuffled round so Nick was on his back fully and that his wings were encasing them completely now. Nick twisted the buttons of Greg’s shirt open until he finally could touch bare skin, his lips moving downwards so he could kiss softly at the discoloured flesh. He carefully rolled them, removing Greg’s shirt completely as he did so, and began worshipping the slender body beneath him with his mouth, Greg’s moans and whimpers urging him on.
“Is this okay?” he whispered against Greg’s hip and Greg nodded shakily, his hands gripping then releasing and gripping again at Nick’s broad shoulders.
Nick managed to remove his own shirt (with difficulty thanks to his wings still being out) but eventually they were both naked from the waist up and when they pressed together they both groaned at the skin-to-skin contact.
“So worth the wait,” Greg muttered as they both fumbled with one another’s belts, removing their jeans quickly until they were gloriously naked and touching each other all over.
“I Love you,” Nick whispered as he brushed the hair back from Greg’s face, his hands cupping Greg’s face as he did. Greg moved his own hands to encircle Nick’s neck and he pulled the older man down for a kiss.
“I know…and it’s stupid to know it so quickly, and so easily, but I think…no, know that I love you too.”
It wasn’t long until they were both moving together, heated moist skin meeting as they panted and whimpered at the hands roaming their bodies, movement fluctuating between fast and frantic to loving and slow, one of their hands always locked with their lover’s as they rocked to completion, Greg throwing his head back as he cried out, legs wrapped around Nick’s waist and Nick opening his mouth in a silent shout as his wings extended out at the moment of climax.
As they collapsed together Greg kept his arms and legs wrapped tightly round his lover and he closed his eyes as he smiled feeling more at peace than he had in a long time.
He peered over at Nick’s face and grinned at the pure joy and love etched into his lover’s face. Angel or mortal, Nick or Nicholas Greg didn’t care because with a content sigh he realised he loved them both. And a part of him secretly loved that he’d practically killed the brain-cells of an angel through pleasure.
Well, his Nana Olaf always did say he had the gift.
Kissing Nick’s temple he curled around his new (or was that newfound? He’d have to check about that later) lover and fell asleep more easily than he had in the last few months.
That night he dreamt of a starry night, salty sea air and familiar arms wrapped tightly around him.
Finite
AN: You know, I think this and Kendreague are my favourites lol! I really hoped you all liked the Las Vegas edition and I would greatly appreciate feedback! It feeds my bunnies!
Oh and the HMS Heureux is a real ship that did indeed go missing in the Bermuda Triangle but, obviously, Nicholas Merchant and Gregory Haareg were not part of the crew. Unfortunately the only genuine name I could find from the original crew was the Commander’s so I apologise for it not being entirely historically correct. Just thought I’d warn you in case anyone tried to Google it.
As always, the promised links (Bethesda has the Angel ranks at the bottom remember):
NCIS
Kendreague Part one: http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_slash/97887.html#cutid1
Kendreague part two: http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_slash/98382.html#cutid1
Never Alone-Sans Peur:
http://ncis.fictionresource.com/fic.php?story_id=02080
Bethesda:
http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_slash/114138.html#cutid1
CSI New York
Redemption:
http://www.csi-forensics.com/viewstory.php?sid=6145
Rating-R
Pairing- Nick Stokes/Greg Sanders (aka Nicholas Merchant/Gregory Haareg)
Disclaimer - The CSI characters belong to CBS and Anthony Zuiker, not me
Genre- supernatural/angst/death fic/romance/ hurt/comfort/ Episode related
Summary - Finding your Soul's Mate once is hard enough, how about finding it twice?
AN: This is the last part in the Valentina Varðr fic and there are spoilers here for Fannysmackin', Grave Danger and Playing with Fire so if you haven't seen those then do lol!
Valentina Varðr
Part one: http://community.livejournal.com/csi_slash/820848.html#cutid1
Previously:
He fumbled to find a pulse until he finally had two fingers pressed against Gregory’s neck.
He felt the rest of his body run cold and his heart stop.
There was no pulse, not even a weak one.
“Gregory?” he whispered and when he received no reply he lightly shook the body cradled against him.
“Gregory,” he sobbed. Still no reply came and letting a tear fall from his stinging eyes he pulled his lover’s head towards his lips to lightly press them against his cool forehead.
He wasn’t even allowed to mourn properly though as he heard a cry from above and looking up he saw one of the Spanish merchants shouting at some of his comrades before he pointed his gun down at Nicholas.
Numbly turning to brush one last kiss against Gregory’s face Nicholas didn’t even flinch when the gunshot filled the air.
Then everything turned black.
……………………………………………………
‘Nicholas Merchant?’
Nicholas opened his eyes with a gasp.
Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...
Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...
-Once Upon a December, Anastasia
Las Vegas -Present Day
Greg ducked as an empty test tube went whizzing over his head and turned to grin at Sara who was scowling down at some papers she had.
“They break you know,” he said conversationally as he walked further into the lab and looked over her shoulder curiously. She growled low before sighing and turning to her best friend.
“These don’t make any sense, and I refuse to let this guy walk,” she said as she squinted at the papers again. Greg, imitating her, squinted too and they both sighed as they straightened themselves again. Sara glanced at him glaring playfully as he grinned. After a few moments though she looked at him seriously, taking in his still bruised face and gently reached up to touch one of his cheeks lightly.
“How’re you holding up Greg?” she said quietly and groaning slightly he dropped his head back.
“I’m doing okay, but I need people to stop asking that,” he said equally as quietly and she pulled him into a sideways hug to get his attention. When he was looking down at her she smiled a little.
“Not going to happen mister, you’re part of our very weird family.”
Greg was touched by what she said and yet still couldn’t help sighing as he shrugged.
“I want to move past this, but I need everyone else to do the same.”
“Yeah,” she admitted reluctantly, “Well if that’s the case you’d better talk to Nick then.”
Greg quirked an eyebrow curiously.
“Nick? Why?” Not like that was ever a hardship.
“You heard what he did to Pig right?”
“It’s been mentioned.”
Mentioned, ha! Every Lab tech he’s bumped into recently has regailed him with the story, ranging from Nick just punching the guy to Nick beating the crap out of the guy. It wasn’t until he spoke to Warrick that he got the true version and even that had him blinking in surprise. Warrick claimed that he shouldn’t of mentioned that he found Greg’s hair at the scene, said that the minute he did he could see Nick needed to hit something and that dumb punk simply had bad timing.
A guilty part of Greg felt he had great timing.
“Well he almost went postal again,” Sara said breaking through Greg’s thoughts, “Some guy beating on his boyfriend. Nick just about ate him alive.”
“Really?” Greg frowned. The Nick Stokes he knew was empathic, always willing to hear both sides to put the puzzle together but it did seem recently that Nick had a much shorter temper and the fact he’d shaven his head again surely meant something.
If he really thought about it there was an air of…grief that seemed to be surrounding his friend.
Why would Nick be grieving?
“Maybe if you spoke to him, I think this whole thing is bothering him more than he’s, badly, trying to hide.”
“Maybe…” Greg was barely listening now as he stared ahead of him in thought. Nick had always provoked certain feelings in him, ever since he’d met the Texan he’d find himself at least once a month having vague dreams involving blue ocean stretched in every direction, warmth surrounding him like an embrace and the smell of gunpowder and metallic blood was always the thing that woke him.
“Maybe, yeah. I’ve gotta go,” he said jerking a thumb over his shoulder and after one last brief hug he turned stepping over the shattered tube, not being able to help a small smirk at it.
…………………………………………………………
Greg stood on Nick’s doorstop, twisting his hands nervously as he tried to will himself to knock. It wasn’t like he’d never been here before, hell he and Nick always hung out together but there was something different about this visit. It wasn’t about him getting beat up either, he’d been to visit after the lab exploded and after Nick had been buried but there was a charge in the air anyway.
Breathing in deeply he raised one fist and knocked loudly before waiting for an answer. He rubbed his hands together again then dropped them when he heard the lock click undone. He smiled when Nick opened the door blinking blearily.
“Hey, did I wake you?” he said and Nick stifled a yawn shaking his head. Greg laughed and Nick grinned as he stepped aside admitting the younger man.
“What brings you here?” Nick said as he clicked the door closed and Greg turned to face him wringing his hands together again. Nick was watching the nervous habit and determinedly Greg stopped as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“I bumped into Sara,” he started and looked up when he felt Nick’s hand on his arm leading him towards the sofa. Letting out another heavy breath Greg sat as Nick joined him.
“Well you are best friends,” Nick said with a vague smile, “Drink?”
“Okay…” he watched Nick move into the kitchen before he continued, “She mentioned that guy you arrested today, the one beating on his boyfriend.”
He heard all movement in the kitchen stop and glanced over his shoulder. Nick slowly moved towards the entrance of his kitchen and stared back at Greg silent and pale.
“What’s going on Nick? You were never like this before, hell, I think you used to be the one Grissom used to rely on for being the level-headed one,” Greg stood and started moving towards his friend. There was a flash of something in Nick’s eyes, a memory of something, and it pulled at Greg’s sub-conscious.
“Greg,” Nick said in a low voice, warning him but Greg ignored it. He took another step and reaching out he grasped Nick’s shoulder, quietly noting the little shudder that ran through the body beneath his palm.
“What’s going on Nick?” he repeated and he felt Nick lean ever so slightly into the touch before he sharply pulled away.
“Don’t Gregory!”
“Gregory!”
It was like a flash of a memory, fleeting and bright, and he distinctly remembered the sensation of his back hitting a bookcase or some sort of shelving.
“Gregory? Who are you, my mother?” he teased lightly and Nick flushed turning as though he was ashamed. It made Greg’s heart ache.
“Sorry, slip of the tongue,” Nick mumbled and made to turn away but Greg caught both his shoulders and turned him around.
“Nick, please, something’s clearly bothering you, I want to hel…”
“Look at you!”
Greg blanched and blinked at the sheer desperation that filled that one sentence. Nick was looking even paler now but it was accompanied by fine shivers this time and Greg’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Nick, are you ill? Maybe we should call a Doctor.”
Nick’s bitter bark of a laugh startled him. His hands dropped again when Nick pulled away rubbing his hands over his shaven head as though in anguish, cradling it as he mumbled something. Greg, far beyond worried now moved closer until he could hear.
“Doctor, what can a Doctor do? Nothing, that’s what I did, I let it happen, and it keeps happening and I can’t do a thing about it…not allowed, soul mates can’t…no…”
“Nick?” Greg said quietly but Nick merely collapsed into his chair still cradling his head. Greg moved cautiously forwards until he quietly knelt in front of his distressed friend. Lightly he placed his hand on one of Nick’s knees and heard the man gasp before he raised his head. Greg felt his heart ache at the glassiness of the soulful brown eyes.
“I want to protect you but I can’t,” he whispered and Greg frowned.
“Nick, I can take care of myself,” he said quietly but Nick grunted and scrubbed at his eyes angrily.
“No, not like that, I mean protect you, but they won’t let me. Conflict of interests they said, what the fuck do they know? I can’t think of anyone better than a soul…”
“Nick!” Greg said frantically as his brow furrowed further in confusion, “What’re you talking about?”
Nick fell silent and his eyes widened as though he’s just realised what he’d been saying. Staring down at Greg in shock Nick shook his head and stood quickly moving as far away as possible.
“Nick?” Greg said turning to follow Nick’s path but the man was quickly moving towards his bedroom, clearly meaning to lock himself in. Greg quickly hopped into action and caught up with him just in time, catching the older man around the chest and causing them both to topple onto Nick’s bed.
Greg gasped as his ribs protested loudly, his hand instinctively reaching to cradle his side but he found a large warm hand already resting there. His face was currently buried in Nick’s neck and he could feel quick little puffs of air against his own neck as Nick lightly panted. Greg froze unsure of what he should do.
He’d always had a crush on Nick, how could he not? Nick has always been kind to him, had always genuinely laughed at his jokes and never looked down at him. He was the first to congratulate Greg when he became Level one. There’d always been something between them and he couldn’t help the way his body practically melted into the firm one beneath him, just like neither of them seemed to be able to not touch when they were close.
From the way Nick was still holding him it seemed he wasn’t the only one that shared that sentiment.
“Nick?” Greg whispered and the hand on his waist instinctively tightened making him wince in mild pain. The hand instantly relaxed and, much to his regret, dropped away.
“Sorry,” Nick muttered and gently tried to struggle out from beneath the younger man. Greg however was having none of it and sat up effectively pinning Nick to the bed as he straddled his hips.
“Don’t be…what did you let happen Nicky? Doctor? I’m confused, and I’m afraid I say stupid things when I’m all kinds of turned around so I think its within your best interests to rectify that,” Greg tried to smile but Nick was watching him with such anguish that it was physically impossible to do so. Reaching down he cupped one of Nick’s cheeks and blinked in surprise at the complete rapture that crossed Nick’s face then, as though he’d longed for that one tender caress all his life.
To say Greg was stunned was a severe understatement.
Did Nick really feel so strongly for him? And for how long? Must’ve been long enough to provoke such a reaction out of the older man from just a touch. The most important question of course was what was he going to do about it?
If his beating had shown him one thing, it was that you never knew what was coming next and if something good came your way then don’t, for the life of you, throw it away carelessly out of fear.
Nodding once to himself Greg leaned down again ignoring the twinge from his side as he did so and he managed to catch Nick’s startled eyes before he closed his own. Softly he brushed his lips against the ones beneath his own and then applied more pressure when Nick gasped, his tongue searching for the other man’s trying to provoke it into action.
As though he’d triggered a switch inside of Nick the older man suddenly grasped his hip again, his other hand reaching up to cup the back of Greg’s neck whilst remaining ever careful of the bruises still covering Greg’s body. The kiss deepened and Greg could feel his insides twist in a pleasant turmoil but what was most disconcerting was the familiarity he felt from the kiss.
He’d shared a moment like this before with Nick and he couldn’t even remember when.
Pulling back Greg inhaled sharply and slowly opened his eyes to look down at Nick. The sight before him was captivating, Nick’s eyes still closed and his wet lips parted slightly as though waiting for Greg to join him again. Though sorely tempted the blonde simply thumbed Nick’s bottom lip causing the Texan to open his eyes blearily.
“How long?” he whispered but something flickered in Nick’s eyes and he sat up gently moving Greg aside.
“Too long,” was all he said and he leaned his elbows onto his knees as he dropped his head forwards. Greg frowned and imitated the position except he turned his face towards Nick instead.
“So why do you seem so down about it?” he said trying not to sound so insulted but was pretty sure that some bitterness came across. Nick startled him a moment later when he laughed lightly and turned to look at the younger man sat beside him. His eyes roamed over the purple discolouring on Greg’s cheek and he lifted one hand to stroke over the bruise.
“There’s so much you don’t know about me,” he whispered and Greg snorted as he quirked an eyebrow.
“Playing the cryptic card are we Nicky? Because no offence man but you’re pretty much an open book, you can’t even maintain a poker face.”
Nick smirked but the gesture was far from happy, instead it looked tortured and Greg frowned. This wasn’t the Nick he knew, this Nick was genuinely filled with grief and his usually sunny aura seemed to have darkened. It wasn’t right.
“Grissom told me,” Nick turned away now, “That you’re pretty much into the supernatural. That you claim you have a ‘gift’ that your Nana Olaf had too.”
Okay, weird topic changing tactic but Greg rolled with it.
“Yeah, what of it?”
“Do you believe in reincarnation?” Nick said and his face was so serious that Greg bit back any ice-breaking comments he could think of. Deciding to treat it as a perfectly normal conversation he nodded.
“Sure, I like to think that our energy is used over and over. Makes sense when you think about it.”
“What about Soul Mates?”
Greg blinked. He, as the Lab crazy, was allowed to have romantic notions of Soul Mates but Nick was supposed to be the logical romantic, not the fantastical one.
“Well…I personally like to think they exist, it’s nice to think that someone will love you over all the years right?”
“Right,” Nick said softly and brushed his thumb over Greg’s bruise again, “And what about Angels?”
“Nick, what is this all about?” Greg said sighing. Nick looked away clearly having some internal battle with himself before he got up to kneel in front of Greg instead. Greg blushed furiously but maintained eye contact as best he could. The pink colouring did make Nick smile properly for the first time though. He swallowed heavily a moment later before licking his lips in preparation of speech.
“Greg, I’ve met you before.”
Greg blinked.
He blinked again.
Then he grinned with his eyebrows raised.
“Sorry?” he said with a faint chuckle and Nick glanced away briefly before darting his eyes back again.
“1801, you and I met for the first time aboard the HMS Heureux. Your name was Gregory Haareg…”
“Nick…”
“Your name was Gregory Haareg,” Nick spoke louder over Greg’s voice effectively cutting him off, “And you were one of the Ship’s Master’s Mates. I was the Ships Surgeon, Doctor Nicholas Merchant, and the first time we met you practically assaulted me to get my attention…”
“Nick this is ridiculous! Did Hodge’s put you up to…”
“In June the following year you approached me romantically and I ran like a coward but you gave me a second chance and we fell in love Greg, we did…”
“Nick, stop it…”
“I knew then you were my Soul Mate and I knew after, and when you were killed right in front of me I felt everything good inside of me die with you…”
“Stop it…”
“I still love you now, both you, Greg, and Gregory…”
“STOP!”
Nick stilled his tongue and Greg stared down at him in bewilderment. His heart was racing and he could hear his own quick breathing as he stared at Nick’s sorrowful brown eyes before shaking his head minutely.
“I can’t believe you’d actually go through with this, whoever set it up, especially after what’s just happened,” he said, his voice pained and Nick moved closer tightening his grip on Greg’s knee.
“I’m not doing this as a joke Greg, you know it, you know me! I love you, please believe me.”
“I can’t,” Greg whispered again and made to move away but Nick had already stood backwards. He stood tall and his eyes were so pained but he managed to keep himself steady as he spoke again.
“I can prove it, please.”
Greg looked at him and could feel all different things inside him pulling in every direction. One voice, however, was getting particularly louder in his head and he momentarily focused on it.
My foolish Doctor! My brave Doctor!
“I can prove it,” Nick whispered again before closing his eyes.
Nothing could’ve prepared Greg for what happened next.
Slowly, carefully uncurling from behind Nick Greg felt his jaw drop as he first saw one wing twist out until it was sat properly on Nick’s back, a second one joining it in the exact same manner a minute later. They stretched out, the great wingspan causing the tips of the magnificent wings to brush against the bedroom walls and Greg felt his heart lurch into his throat. Brilliant white feathers spread slightly until Greg’s eyes trailed to the black tips and (rather bizarrely) Greg vaguely remembered Nick showing him a picture of some breed of goose, snow probably, that had a similar colouring.
Blinking he couldn’t believe he was comparing Nick’s wings (and wasn’t that a thought!) to some goose’s. Hodges always did say he had a weird thought pattern when under stress.
He hadn’t realised Nick’s eyes were open again and watching him closely as he took in the sight of the brilliant wings stretched from wall to wall. It wasn’t until they bent slightly to fold in that Greg moved his eyes from them to brown irises.
“Wha…” Greg started but his voice gave out before he could finish.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you,” Nick whispered and his voice was quivering now as he made to move forwards, “They won’t let me join myself to you as a Guardian so I didn’t know that it would happen. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…”
Nick continued whispering his apologies until he scrunched his face lightly to stop any unwanted tears escaping. Greg could see Nick’s knees quaver and he watched as he fell to the floor with his arms around his stomach, the wings open and spread out against the carpet.
Not knowing what else to do Greg moved forwards and knelt in front of the grief-stricken man, gripping Nick’s face in his hands and he pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead. They didn’t move, simply resting like that with Greg’s lips resting on Nick’s cool skin but then the younger man pulled away and stood.
And then he ran.
…………………………………………………………….
Heart don't fail me now,
Courage don't desert me,
Don't turn back now that we're here.
People always say,
Life is full of choices,
No one ever mentions fear.
-Journey to the Past, Anastasia
Greg didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed that Nick didn’t come into work the next night. He himself hadn’t gotten any rest since he last saw the other man and he wished his mind would simply stop for a moment, long enough to let him nap at least.
He just couldn’t banish the image of Nick stood before him, white black-tipped wings stretched out as though preparing for flight and if Nick had managed to prove that part then what was to say that everything else he’d claimed about them wasn’t true?
Clearly it was time to put his CSI skills to the test.
Waiting until his lunch break Greg snuck into one of the computer labs and he tapped his fingers impatiently against the desk as he waited for the Internet to load up. When it finally appeared he rubbed his hands together nervously before straining his memory to remember what names it was Nick said last night. He started typing as soon as did.
Gregory Haareg
Did you mean Gregory Haarig?
Well that one clearly wasn’t going to work (and Greg ignored the slight pang of disappointment he felt then), he could distinctively remember Nick pronouncing it REG and not RIG. He tried again, using the only other name he had.
Nicholas Merchant, Doctor
HMS Heureux (1800) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: The HMS Heureux was a 22 gun…Lost at sea in 1806…Nicholas Merchant, Ship’s Surgeon, killed in battle…
Greg froze as his cursor hovered over the link. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Hadn’t Nick claimed that he’d been the Ship’s surgeon, and that the ship they’d met on was the Heureux? Breathing quicker he clicked on the link.
He skimmed the information of the actual ship, of its disappearance and its battles until he found another link leading him towards the crew’s history and he started scrolling down the page.
COMBE William – Commander, Captain of HMS Heureux
FRANKLIN Harold – Captain and Station Commandant
MERCHANT Nicholas – Ship’s Surgeon and Naturalist
GIBSON Jack – Master of Heureux
BROWN Philippe – Master’s Mate of Heureux
HAAREG Gregory – Master’s Mate of Heureux
Greg released his finger from the mouse and stared at the name in shock. There was the name, the very same names that Nick has said last night and Greg couldn’t bring himself to close his slack jaw. Gregory Haareg and Nicholas Merchant. Haareg didn’t have a link but Merchant’s name was highlighted in blue ready to lead off to some link somewhere and excited now Greg clicked on it.
He found himself on a historical site and (after briefly panicking and looking over his shoulder) he noted that it was a gay historical site. There were links leading to all kinds of places, Greek History, Oscar Wilde, Alexander and what not but the one that caught his eye was a link titled “Ship’s Log”. Clicking it he skimmed over the information until he reached the rumours of the 1800’s. That had been the time Nick had said right?
Again he double clicked the mouse and was rewarded with a list of different ship names, and there, once again, was the HMS Heureux. He followed it.
His entire body stilled when the screen came up.
There was an image there, a painting clearly from the same era and it didn’t merely resemble Nick, it was Nick! He had longer hair, granted, and he was holding himself more stiffly then he would in real life (but then Greg always felt that those paintings always did look rather morbid) but it was Nick on the screen. He looked at the blurb underneath and once again found that now familiar name, Nicholas Merchant.
Across from the startling image was another, less grander painting of a young man clearly accompanied by his parents. He had shoulder length curling blonde hair and this painter had obviously decided to go for a more realistic image by adding the cheerful light into the brown eyes set into the youthful face. What surprised Greg the most was how similar he and this…this Gregory Haareg looked.
Scrubbing his hands down his face Greg leaned back in his seat trying to absorb it all. He moved one hand to his mouth to bite his thumbnail absently but he pulled himself together enough to lean forwards again and at least read what had been written. Scrolling down he finally settled himself close to the screen and started reading.
It wasn’t unheard of for men to seek comfort with other men on long voyages back in the 17th and 18th Century but that wasn’t to say it was any more accepted as anywhere else. The ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy may have been written in later years but it has always been in use regardless.
There is evidence to suggest that such an occurrence happened upon the HMS Heureux, the ship that mysteriously disappeared in 1806 around the Bermuda Triangle, between the Ship’s Surgeon, a Doctor Nicholas Merchant, and one of the Ship’s Masters, a Master Gregory Haareg. It has never been proven for certain whether they had indeed engaged in a homosexual relationship but various journal entries from both men and other crewmen left at port have suggested so and there was a rumour apparently recorded by one of Merchant’s servants that at one point when the ship docked back in England that Master Haareg had remained with Merchant at his country home in Essex.
It is safe to assume though that there was certainly a deeper relationship than others thought as it was recorded that Haareg, after being shot and killed, fell overboard and Merchant had attempted to save him by diving in after him.
Both men were lost to the sea.
Greg didn’t know when his eyesight had gotten blurry but he couldn’t help blinking back the tears threatening to fall. It all sounded so simple when written down in a factual manner but already Greg was getting flashes of memories; a cannon firing, Nicholas’s voice calling his name, the warmth of their backs pressed together in battle. It was all so over-whelming and after quickly scrubbing at his stinging eyes Greg hit the print button. Leaning back he cupped his hands over his mouth as he thought.
Nick was telling the truth.
Nick was some form of Angel.
Nick and Greg had been lovers in a past life.
They were Soul Mates.
The printer whirred loudly as it finished printing the pages and Greg shook his head as he quickly grabbed them up. Cradling them to his chest he shut down the computer as fast as he could before heading towards the locker room to store his findings until the end of shift. Before he closed the door again though he found himself looking down at the image of Nicholas and he gently caressed his thumb over the photo. He hated the sadness that seemed to permeate from the painting and making a silent vow he then tucked them away in his side bag and closed his locker.
He would go to Nick’s after shift, come hell or high water.
……………………………………………………
Somewhere down this road,
I know someone's waiting,
Years of dreams just can't be wrong.
Arms will open wide,
I'll be safe and wanted,
Finally home where I belong.
-Journey to the Past, Anastasia
Once again he was standing in front of Nick’s door but this time he was clutching the papers as though they were a lifeline. Raising his fist he hesitated then tensed and knocked once loudly. He waited but when no one came to the door he knocked again.
“Nick? It’s Greg. Please, open the door,” he said through the wood and as he leant against the door he leaned on the handle by accident but found it swung open. Staring down at it for a moment he debated about entering but decided that after his spectacular runaway yesterday the only way Nick was going to listen was if Greg invited himself in.
Once inside he clicked the door closed behind him and surveyed the dark, seemingly empty house. He quickly scanned both the kitchen and living room before heading towards the bedroom, the last place he’d left Nick. When he quietly opened the door he peeked in and felt his heart swell slightly at the scene before him.
Nick was sprawled out on his front, arms flung to both sides and the man was quite clearly down and out. He had stress marks around his eyes and there were dark rings underneath the lowered lashes. But what really showed the man’s exhaustion was the fact that he’d left his wings out, one curled around him as he slept and the other stretched out so that the tip was brushing the floor.
Greg had never seen anything more beautiful.
Moving quietly towards the bed he carefully placed the papers down onto Nick’s bedside cabinet before he lowered himself to sit beside the man on the bed. Tentatively he brushed a strand of hair out of Nick’s face and he twisted slightly until he was led on his side facing the sleeping angel. He slowly slipped his arm under the extended wing and draped his arm over Nick’s hips before shuffling forwards trying his best not to rock the bed.
When he was close enough he brushed his lips across Nick’s forehead and watched as Nick’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. He did it again and Nick frowned again but this time he moaned lightly as well.
“Nicky,” Greg whispered and he lay his head down so that the tip of his nose brushed Nick’s. The pliant body began to awaken properly and Greg’s heart started pounding when groggy brown eyes started blinking open. He watched as confusion, then recognition, and finally fear filled them and, trying to chase away the fear, Greg reached up to brush the back of his hand across Nick’s clammy cheek.
“Hey,” he said quietly and at first Nick remained silent. He shook his head minutely a minute later though and managed to answer croakily.
“Hey.”
“I’m sorry about last night…you kinda freaked me out.”
Greg smirked as Nick flushed but seemed to accept the excuse. He was pretty sure he could be excused one freak out, as it wasn’t all that common that angels appeared before you claiming to be your ex-lover.
“Sorry.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I just needed time to get my head round it.”
“Did you?”
Instead of answering Greg rolled towards the cabinet to grab the papers he’d put down and then rolled back with them in hand. He flicked through them for lack of anything better to do then handed them over to Nick who took them not realising the movement caused his wing to cover Greg’s legs. Afraid that he might remove them Greg said nothing and slowly edged his hand down towards it.
Nick glanced through the information with his eyebrows slowly climbing higher and higher until he looked back up at his companion.
“You researched all of this?”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t believe you, It’s just I needed to…”
“Understand, no I get that.”
They fell silent again as Nick continued to read and finally Greg’s knuckles brushed against the strong humerus bone of the wing. Ever so slowly he stretched out his fingers until his tips were brushing against the soft feathers and he couldn’t help stroking them lightly. He was so busy watching his hand run through the smooth feathers that he hadn’t noticed that Nick had lowered the papers and was now watching him.
It wasn’t until the wing moved (making him jump) up until he was cocooned inside, his body pressed up against Nick’s as his wing sheltered them both. Glancing at Nick as though asking permission he smiled a little when Nick nodded and he reached up to stroke over the length of his feathery shield. He tangled his fingers in amongst the downy feathers and then trailed his finger down the stems of the primary feathers until he reached the blackened tips.
“Beautiful,” he whispered and turned to Nick when a strong arm fell gently over his stomach pulling him closer. He and Nick were pressed pretty tightly together now and he used his unoccupied hand to stroke Nick’s jaw, and then cupped it pulling Nick forwards and making their lips meet.
The kiss was languid as they both explored inquisitively. Tongues fleetingly pushed together before they attempted to memorise the interiors of one another’s mouths, Nick’s thumb on his stomach moving in an arch as he continued stroking the velvety wing.
“Are we really Soul Mates?” Greg said as he pulled away, their lips still touching but no longer kissing and both their eyes closed. He felt Nick nod when they both opened their eyes.
“Do you really need an answer from me for that?” Nick said in retort and Greg silently regarded his new lover for a moment before shaking his head.
“I’m not Gregory anymore,” he said quietly and Nick smiled understandably.
“You’re not a stand in. You are Gregory, at least your soul is, just like your Greg. You’re both the same and different and I love both versions of you, just like I’ll love every version of you.”
Greg didn’t know what he could say to that and so settled for another kiss instead.
“You’ll tell me though, about him, right?”
“I’ll tell you about us as well.”
Greg smiled widely then and even chuckled slightly when Nick gave him one his own joyful ones. There was something though that nagged at Greg’s conscious.
“Why are you an angel and I’m not?” he said and Nick sighed, his appearance seemingly becoming haunted.
“We got separated by accident. I hadn’t realised you’d chosen not to become an angel so I said yes. You however continued onto Heaven to wait to be reincarnated with me…the movies have it wrong; you can’t find someone within a day up there, you aren’t automatically reunited with your loved ones, you have to look for decades sometimes, even centuries. Do you know how many souls are in Heaven? It’s the world’s population all over again. So I’ve been waiting for you to return to Earth so I could find you, an Angel looking on Earth is an entirely different ball game.”
Greg nodded then slapped a hand to his head with a husky chuckle.
“This is insane,” he mumbled and he curled his arm tighter around Nick. He paused for a second then turned his face back to Nick.
“Nick, if we died in 1805…and there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say…and you’ve been waiting for me ever since that means you’ve, what, been waiting…”
“181 years,” Nick said quietly and Greg opened his mouth to say something. Oddly he couldn’t say a thing.
“Soul Mates remember,” Nick said smiling gently as he tucked Greg’s hair over his ear and then stroked his bruised cheek.
“This is mad!”
“Tell me about it, I’m 215 years old, I’ve pretty much watched Science grow and I have to sit and take it when Grissom talks to me as though explaining it to a five year old for the first time. Hell, I’m older than Darwin!”
Greg burst out laughing and sat up enough for his head to brush against Nick’s wing.
“I’m Soul Mates with a guy older than Darwin?”
“And studied at the same University as him, yeah.”
Greg started laughing again and Nick joined in with him although a little more quietly as Greg settled himself across Nick’s chest.
“What’d you do for your bicentennial birthday?” Greg said with a wicked smirk and Nick rolled his eyes as he groaned.
“Got absolutely shit-faced drunk, I still hadn’t found you at that point.”
Greg moved to straddled Nick’s hips then, again ignoring the twinge of his still sore ribs and linking their fingers together he pinned Nick’s hands either side of his head. They fell silent as they studied one another’s faces, expressions loving until Greg leaned down to claim his lover’s lips once again.
Hands began wandering as they deepened the kiss once more, Nick’s hands barely touching Greg as they ran up under his shirt trying not to cause him any further pain. They shuffled round so Nick was on his back fully and that his wings were encasing them completely now. Nick twisted the buttons of Greg’s shirt open until he finally could touch bare skin, his lips moving downwards so he could kiss softly at the discoloured flesh. He carefully rolled them, removing Greg’s shirt completely as he did so, and began worshipping the slender body beneath him with his mouth, Greg’s moans and whimpers urging him on.
“Is this okay?” he whispered against Greg’s hip and Greg nodded shakily, his hands gripping then releasing and gripping again at Nick’s broad shoulders.
Nick managed to remove his own shirt (with difficulty thanks to his wings still being out) but eventually they were both naked from the waist up and when they pressed together they both groaned at the skin-to-skin contact.
“So worth the wait,” Greg muttered as they both fumbled with one another’s belts, removing their jeans quickly until they were gloriously naked and touching each other all over.
“I Love you,” Nick whispered as he brushed the hair back from Greg’s face, his hands cupping Greg’s face as he did. Greg moved his own hands to encircle Nick’s neck and he pulled the older man down for a kiss.
“I know…and it’s stupid to know it so quickly, and so easily, but I think…no, know that I love you too.”
It wasn’t long until they were both moving together, heated moist skin meeting as they panted and whimpered at the hands roaming their bodies, movement fluctuating between fast and frantic to loving and slow, one of their hands always locked with their lover’s as they rocked to completion, Greg throwing his head back as he cried out, legs wrapped around Nick’s waist and Nick opening his mouth in a silent shout as his wings extended out at the moment of climax.
As they collapsed together Greg kept his arms and legs wrapped tightly round his lover and he closed his eyes as he smiled feeling more at peace than he had in a long time.
He peered over at Nick’s face and grinned at the pure joy and love etched into his lover’s face. Angel or mortal, Nick or Nicholas Greg didn’t care because with a content sigh he realised he loved them both. And a part of him secretly loved that he’d practically killed the brain-cells of an angel through pleasure.
Well, his Nana Olaf always did say he had the gift.
Kissing Nick’s temple he curled around his new (or was that newfound? He’d have to check about that later) lover and fell asleep more easily than he had in the last few months.
That night he dreamt of a starry night, salty sea air and familiar arms wrapped tightly around him.
Finite
AN: You know, I think this and Kendreague are my favourites lol! I really hoped you all liked the Las Vegas edition and I would greatly appreciate feedback! It feeds my bunnies!
Oh and the HMS Heureux is a real ship that did indeed go missing in the Bermuda Triangle but, obviously, Nicholas Merchant and Gregory Haareg were not part of the crew. Unfortunately the only genuine name I could find from the original crew was the Commander’s so I apologise for it not being entirely historically correct. Just thought I’d warn you in case anyone tried to Google it.
As always, the promised links (Bethesda has the Angel ranks at the bottom remember):
NCIS
Kendreague Part one: http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_slash/97887.html#cutid1
Kendreague part two: http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_slash/98382.html#cutid1
Never Alone-Sans Peur:
http://ncis.fictionresource.com/fic.php?story_id=02080
Bethesda:
http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_slash/114138.html#cutid1
CSI New York
Redemption:
http://www.csi-forensics.com/viewstory.php?sid=6145
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-10-28 03:15 am (UTC)