Falling Up

Oct. 21st, 2006 04:35 pm
[identity profile] emi-h.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] nickngreg
Title: Falling Up
Rating: PG-13 (just to be safe)
Warnings: Sad Nicky
Spoilers: Who Are You?, Boom, Stalker, Overload (the Sad Nicky episodes)
Summary for Parts 1&2: Nick has never really dated before Greg came along.
AN- A work in progress. I have no schedule for updates, but I hope they will be soon :)




Part One – The Back Story

It took Nick awhile to realize that he did not date Gil, but rather allowed Gil to fuck him. It took even longer for Nick to get comfortable with that fact. The whole affair had lasted about a month, there had been a little bit of talking, a lot of sex and an equal amount of watching Gil leave Nick’s apartment afterwards. And honestly, Nick couldn’t have been happier. He got to be with the man he was infatuated with and that was more than he had ever gotten in the past, more than he ever dared to hope for. All of this ended the moment Sara Sidle came to town and Grissom asked her to stay. Grissom found that he was done playing around with Nick and decided to pursue the lovely Miss Sidle. Nick was hurt and angered by this, but there was no big confrontation, no argument or teary goodbyes, Gil just left and that was that.

Catherine focused in on his distress right away and clued Warrick in on it. But he just thickened his accent just a bit and smiled in an embarrassed way, claiming that he got burned by one of the girls that passed through the revolving door which was his love life. His friends laughed it off, patted him on the back and told him to be careful with his one night stands. It hurt to know that they could easily believe that about him, but he comforted himself with the fact that it was what he wanted them to think. But in reality it was Nick who passed through the revolving doors and often found himself the one not being called back the next day.

It was true that Nick had never been in a serious relationship, but he had never meant it to be that way. The closest he had ever gotten was with Gil and that was only because Gil came back to him more than a few times. As a teenager Nick went on several first dates with girls, however he quickly found that he wasn’t interested in them and gave up on females sometime in the beginning of his freshmen year of college. He realized, after Gil had left him, that he had never been on a date with a man, even though he had slept with a few and fooled around with more than he could count. But at this point, Nick had stopped caring and threw himself into his work.

Work suddenly proved to be a hard relationship to maintain. The fact that he had to put up with Grissom and Sara’s flirting everyday killed him. He resented her at first and did his best to gain Grissom’s approval, but every attempt at that failed miserably. But he managed to hold up a strong front and no one knew anything was wrong.

Then there was the moment when a gun was pointed at his face after Grissom left him alone to process the Hendler residence. And there was the whole incident with Kristy. He had slipped up with Kristy and fell for her charm. She had been the first woman he had ever been attracted to and that drew him to her. That attraction had almost been fatal to his career and her death was a harsh blow that still stung long after the fact. But Catherine had fought for him and won, saving him from facing murder charges. When Nick had to talk to his supervisor about all of this, the Texan thought he had seen a flare of jealousy in Gil’s eyes, but quickly brushed it off as being hopeful.

Afterwards, Grissom changed his attitude towards him and Nick found himself having a partner on every single case he went on while his coworkers were allowed privileges he only wished for. Silk, silk, silk. What direction does Nick Stokes career move in? Trick question, it doesn’t move at all. Work was beginning to hurt him just as badly as his personal life used to.

And who can forget Nigel Crane? Nigel, who so thoroughly invaded Nick’s privacy and completely destroyed his sense of security. Nigel, who had watched Nick in his most private moments. Nigel, who had killed a girl for Nick. And Grissom, who told Nick that it wasn’t about him.

When Nick was allowed back into his home he went over it with much more diligence than the dayshift CSIs. Dayshift had been given the case since the graveyard shift was too emotionally involved. They just gathered enough evidence to put Crane behind bars and didn’t thoroughly search his home, partly out of respect for Nick’s privacy and partly because Ecklie rushed the investigation. After going through his townhouse, Nick realized that several pairs of his boxers were missing and he found a hole in the ceiling the dayshift missed, the one right over his shower. But what shook Nick up the most was that he found seminal stains on his bed sheets that he knew were not his. Nick had never felt dirtier in his life, not even after what that babysitter did to him so many years ago. He moved and the moment he got into his new townhouse he hopped into the shower, turned the water on as hot as he could bare and scrubbed his skin raw. That night, as he lay in his new bed in his new bedroom, he allowed himself the luxury of thinking about Gil and imagined the older man comforting him. Nick couldn’t remember another time when he cried as hard as he did that night.

But at work and around friends, he was all smiles to soothe the worries of his coworkers and he did an excellent job. He was constantly joking around with Greg in the lab, making bets with Warrick on cases, and even flirting with Catherine and Sara a bit. He genuinely liked Sara on most days, she was fun to tease and she was actually really nice when she wasn’t getting worked up about a case. Plus, it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know that the two of them slept with the same guy. He still craved Grissom’s approval, but he knew it was a lost cause. He easily masked from them the depression that had been slowly eating at him for over a year and he briefly wondered that if he committed a crime if he would be able to get away with it just from the sheer fact that he had become an excellent liar.

It took awhile, but Nick adjusted. He found that soon he was finding refuge from work in his personal life instead of the other way around. However his love life had pretty much come to a stop after Gil left and Kristy’s death. His desire to go out and connect with other people had been killed after being stalked and having a gun pointed at his face. It had been years since he last spoken with his family and his encounters with friends were limited to the sparse occasions he, Warrick and Greg hung out outside of work. He spent much of his time studying birds, reading forensic journals and dabbling in his few hobbies. But he found that his self induced isolation suited him just fine.

He was just a little sad that no one ever noticed.


Part Two – Nick Doesn’t Understand

It would be an understatement to say that Nick was shocked when Greg asked him out. He never saw it coming, he was broadsided by the force that was Greg Sanders and he was so confused that all he could do was say yes. He must’ve looked dazed because Greg only grinned and wrote down for him what day and time he would pick up Nick for their date and tucked the note into his shirt pocket. Nick had never thought of Greg that way and never knew that Greg had ever thought of Nick as anything other than a friend and a coworker. It wasn’t that he didn’t find Greg attractive, the blond lab tech was very handsome, he just wasn’t the type of man that Nick usually found himself drawn to. But the Texan couldn’t find a good reason to cancel the date and decided to roll with it.

Two days later, on his and Greg’s mutual day off, Nick found himself standing in front of his closet, getting ready for his first date with another man. His fingers ghosted over several of his nicer shirts, unsure which one he would look best in. He also couldn’t decide if he wanted to wear jeans or slacks. By the time he had narrowed it down to a green, black and white pinstriped shirt reality hit him.

What if this wasn’t a date? What if Greg had just wanted to know if Nick would sleep with him?

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat and chose the green shirt and a pair of dark slacks.

Greg showed up at his door promptly at 6:30 pm, just as he said he would. He was wearing a rather tame gray button up shirt and slacks. He smiled at Nick, obviously checking him out and Nick felt his cheeks heat up.

“You look great, Nicky,” Greg beamed. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah. Where are we going anyway?” Nick locked his door, two dead bolts and a lock on the doorknob, and then set the alarm. He hoped they were actually going somewhere, he desperately hoped that Greg, nice, sweet Greg, would not use him, so that when things didn’t work out Nick would have no reason to resent him.

“That, my friend, is a secret.”

Greg opened and closed the car door for Nick and talked the entire time he drove. Nick was a little afraid that Greg was focusing a little too much on his own talking than to the road, but they made it to their destination without incident and Nick silently promised God that he would donate some money to an orphanage the next time he got the chance.

Nick didn’t recognize the restaurant Greg brought him to, but it wasn’t hard to tell that it was a fancy one. When he looked down at the menu he saw that there were no prices on it and he slightly panicked. A place like this was for people who didn’t need to worry about trivial things such as how much money they were spending for a single salad.

“Greg, I can’t afford this place,” he whispered, suddenly thinking about his unpaid bills sitting on his kitchen table. He looked around to make sure that no one heard his confession, feeling a little self conscious about the fact that he brought in less than six digits a year.

The lab tech looked amused at Nick’s reaction. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it covered. You’re my date; you aren’t paying for anything tonight.”

Then, before Nick could reply, Greg started talking about how much the new guy in trace, Hodges, was getting on his nerves. Then he started on how apparently Archie was saving up to buy a new, top of the line, stereo system and was going to throw a party once he had it set up. Bobby Dawson and his partner were adopting a baby girl from China, and Greg was declaring himself her uncle, he already bought her twelve outfits and far too many stuffed animals.

When Greg talked his entire body moved with his lips, he used his hands in away that if Nick were deaf he was sure he would be able to tell what Greg was saying just by his gestures. The CSI also noticed that sometimes Greg’s foot would tap in time with the syllables of long words. Greg easily dominated the conversation and Nick found that he didn’t mind at all. Every once in awhile Nick would give a little input or nod his head in agreement and the rest of the time he was content to listen and watch his date.

Somehow the subject had shifted from coworkers to surfing. Greg made the motion of waves with his arm, as if he didn’t believe Nick knew what they looked like.

“Have you ever been surfing before? You must’ve, I mean you like sports. You paraglide, right? That’s what Warrick told me.”

“Yes, I paraglide, but that doesn’t mean I’ve ever surfed before, which I haven’t.”

“Then I’ll take you sometime.”

Nick didn’t reply to Greg’s empty promise. A heartbeat of silence went by before the lab tech started talking again.

Dinner had been excellent and after Greg laid down a fat tip for the waiter he drove them to a movie theater. Nick was surprised to see that it was already ten o’clock and he wondered where all the time went. The late hour on a weekday and the fact that the movie had been out for about a month left them with an empty theater. Nick found out that Greg liked to talk during movies too, he gestured wildly with only one hand because his other one was holding Nick’s.

Nick couldn’t remember what the movie was about.

When Greg took him home, he walked Nick to his door. Nick thanked him for a pleasant evening and it was then he became aware that Greg was awfully close to him. Standing there in front of his door with only a dim porch light illuminating the area, Greg leaned in to kiss him. At the last moment Nick turned his head so that Greg ended up kissing his cheek. He saw the confused and hurt look in Greg’s eyes and he opened his mouth to explain but he had no explanation and no words came out.

Then Greg smiled and wagged his finger at him. “I see, I’m going to have to earn my kiss. I understand, dinner and a movie isn’t very original. I’ll think of something better next time.” He quickly kissed Nick’s cheek before taking a few steps backward. “Prepare yourself, Nick Stokes, I’m going to sweep you off your feet whether you like it or not.”

Nick lifted an eyebrow, “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

“Okay, okay, you’ll like it, trust me. I’ll see ya at work. Night!” And with that Greg jogged back to his car.

Going inside his townhouse, Nick leaned heavily against his front door and sunk to the floor. Burying his head in his hands he trembled in confusion. He didn’t understand what Greg wanted. A real relationship? Or something that was purely physical? Nick wanted the former, but did he want it with Greg? And he didn’t know a thing about relationships. The latter was familiar territory, but that was a cycle that he had pulled himself out of.

He just didn’t understand.

=====================================================================
“So, how did it go?”

“How did what go?” Nick didn’t look up from the sweater he was looking over. He grabbed a pair of tweezers and plucked a foreign fiber he found on its sleeve, carefully placing it in an evidence bag.

“Your date with Greg last night,” Sara grinned as she leaned on the worktable.

“How did you know about that?” Nick looked up this time.

“It’s the only thing he could talk about after he asked you. Honestly, I didn’t know that you were gay; I actually heard that you were a bit of a player. Oh, that looks like a bloodstain.”

Nick had spotted the stain on the edge of the sleeve too and was picking up a swab right as Sara pointed it out. “Only one way to find out.” He smirked as it came back positive for blood. “Looks like we may have a suspect. So, um, how many people know that I had date with Greg?”

“Just me, Greg wasn’t really sure if you were out or not. I’m assuming by your reaction that you’re not.”

“Well, not really. I’m kind of out, but I sort of don’t like to announce it …”

“You’ve got one foot in the closet and one foot outside.”

“Something like that.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep quiet about it and I’ll make sure Greg stays in line too.”

“Thanks, Sara, I’d appreciate that. Well, I need to take these to DNA and trace,” he held up the little evidence baggies and got up to leave.

“Wait!”

“What?”

“You never told me how your date was.”

Nick hesitated a bit and then opted to answer truthfully. “It was the best date I’ve ever been on.”

Sara covered her mouth to conceal the large smile on her face and to muffle out her squeal of joy. But Nick didn’t really know why she was so happy.

To Be Continued...

Date: 2006-10-22 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theboysgonehome.livejournal.com
That was cute. I love how Sara's a fangirl. :) And Greg was so in character. Good job, and I look forward to more.

Date: 2006-10-22 10:50 am (UTC)
ext_28210: (nickgreg)
From: [identity profile] tanisafan.livejournal.com
"It’s the only thing he could talk about after he asked you. Honestly, I didn’t know that you were gay; I actually heard that you were a bit of a player. Oh, that looks like a bloodstain.”
*giggles* That is so in character for Sara! I really liked that whole scene, where they're talking casually about the date while still focusing on the evidence.

Yay, this was a cool start. Poor sad Nicky! I hope the next part isn't too far away ;).

Date: 2006-10-22 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wojo62.livejournal.com
That a very good start, I am looking forward to more.

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