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Aug. 30th, 2006 05:28 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Kink
chapter: 3 of 15
authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
it_glitters and mangojunkie
Rating: NC-17 throughout *too lazy to rate each chapter separetly :P*
spoilers: none, since AU
warnings: none for this chapter
summary: the coninuation of the previous chapter. This is the evening now, and Nick and Greg have dinner and talk
A/N: Well it is Wednesday =) And you get the update, since you have been so nice =) Hope you all still like it, and there will be some NC-17 anytime soon, with the next chapter. =) YOu want it, be honest. Off to fic now :D
In the evening, however, Nick was wholly surprised when he found out Greg’s plan to cook dinner and eat outside on terrace. Greg desperately refused the offer from Nick to help him with the food or setting the table. Nick didn’t even know what Greg was cooking.
Greg had decided that having Nick around him all the time now, while he was preparing dinner would be too much since Nick was desperate to help at least a bit, but Greg refused. He ended up sending Nick to go and get some wine they would have. It was simply a task Greg had made up to distract Nick – he already had the wine ready, but he just needed a moment alone to get things set just the right way. He knew it would give him ample time, since Nick was in search of a wine that didn’t exist.
Eventually, Nick returned: a bottle of something in his hand and a look of frustration painting his face. “Sorry, I couldn’t find your wine. And I didn’t know what else would go with the food, so I just took one that sounded okay.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Greg said flippantly. “The bottle I told you to look for doesn’t exist. I just sent you down there so I could prepare everything without you watching everything. And the bottle you brought…ahm…put it into the fridge for the moment and when you’re done, meet me outside, will you?” Greg asked, as he took two large spoons and the bowl from the fridge and walked outside.
Nick placed the wine bottle in the fridge and followed Greg to the terrace. Even though he had a view from his bedroom, nothing matched the real thing – and Greg had made it even more amazing. The table was covered with a large tablecloth that wrinkled when it met the floor. On the table were glasses, dishes and silverware, with candles and a bottle of wine was standing next to the table in a wine cooler. The floor around the table and the chairs was partly covered in petals from white roses, and even on the table a few were to be found.
Greg was standing behind his chair, smiling at Nick. “I hope this is okay.”
“This is…well, I certainly wouldn’t have expected anything like this. Why aren’t you sitting down?”
“I’m waiting for you to join me.”
Nick was surprised by the gesture, he wasn’t used to people actually waiting for him.
As he sat down, Nick could not hold his tongue about the rose petals that littered the table and floor. “Why you used so many roses?” he asked, curiosity finally getting the best of him.
“Why not? I thought it would be a nice gesture and would look nice as well. Add to the ambience. And they are a sign of love, well red roses would have been more specific to love, but white have so much more class.”
Nick was still taken aback whenever Greg mentioned the word love; it just didn’t seem real. He had mentioned it in passing and Nick had been able to avoid it to some extent, but now it was staring him in the face.
“Ahm…love?”
“Yeah, you know…two persons finding each other, sharing all these wonderful moments together. Having a nice, romantic dinner, talking with each other, paying attention to each other, having this nice warm fuzzy feeling inside of you. Love.”
“But you’re not talking about the two of us now, are you?”
“Why not?” Greg asked confidently.
Another shock for Nick, since he hadn’t expected that answer either. “Greg, you don’t even know me...how can you possibly say you love me? And how could you even think that this love could be reciprocated?”
“Love at first sight.” Greg replied, beaming at Nick. “You do my accounting quite often…or help me do it. Or whatever. You know what I mean. And I couldn’t help it – there was something there – a spark if you will.”
“We didn’t really talk about private stuff, did we? You just came by, dropped your things off, made a few explanations every now and then, asked a few things occasionally … we never talked about something that wasn’t involved with your taxes and things.”
“I don’t need to talk to someone to fall in love with him,” Greg explained.
“Greg, stop it…you’re not in love with me,” Nick declared, raising his voice a bit.
“I know how I feel, I’m not stupid…” Greg said stubbornly as he refilled Nick’s wineglass.
Nick didn’t remember eating, but he had. Greg took his plate and left him sitting dazedly at the table. Greg returned with a plate laden with Nick’s favorite desert.
“Chocolate truffles?” Nick asked, once again amazed by Greg’s accuracy.
“Yep, since you like them so much. I thought getting them for you would be nice,” Greg smiled as he placed the plate between them.
“But, they aren’t cheap. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but… how…Why…?”
“That’s what love’s about. Although, you seem to see things differently. But in the end love’s about doing these little things others probably wouldn’t do, make someone feel special, isn’t it?” Greg said as he picked up a truffle and placed it against Nick’s lips. It was undeniable, he wanted it, and he had wanted Greg to feed it to him. Nick opened his mouth and let Greg place the truffle inside, his fingertips ghosting Nick’s lips. He paused, and then tried to get back onto track.
“But,” he said, swallowing the chocolate. “Just because I do your accounting…that doesn’t mean you know me.”
“Maybe I know more than you think?”
“Give me an example”
“Well, you leave your house every day at exactly 8 o’clock, except for Wednesday’s when you leave for work around 9. On your way to work you stop at Starbucks, to get your favorite coffee – iced white chocolate mocha – every day. You like country music. Don’t get me wrong but I mean…country music and being an accountant…could you be anymore boring? Not that this isn’t cute somehow….but…both?”
“This thing with the coffee still freaks me out. Why… why is that so important for you anyway? Why am I so important? Can’t you just hit on one of your customers, or is that against some rule?” Nick asked, surprised.
“No, it isn’t. In the end I’m the boss, so I make the rules. And why it is so important to me? Because I’d like to know about the guys I’m dating for the rest of my life, well, maybe not dating, hopefully we’ll get over the dating fast and start a proper relationship,” Greg said with a huge smile across his lips.
“How often do I have to tell you? I’m in a relationship - a serious relationship - with a guy I love.”
“You sure about the love thing? ‘Cause the way I see it, you’re not.”
“And how would you know?”
“The way you look at him, it lacks passion. God, I hope you will never look at me like that when we’re together for a while,” Greg whined to himself, clearly ignoring Nick’s protestations.
“We are not in a relationship, and I’m not leaving my boyfriend. And…you watch us? You ARE stalking me.”
“No, I’m not stalking you. Just have seen you often enough with him to know it. Or better…to see the way you look at him. And, why are you in a relationship with someone who doesn’t even love you?”
“How do you know he doesn’t love me?” Nick asked, shocked.
“Well, if he loved you he wouldn’t cheat on you, would he?” Greg threw out casually, as if it was something that Nick should have been already aware of.
“No, he…wait…WHAT? How in Christ’s name do you would know that or if….”
“Nick…I own a club, which he frequents – and he’s never alone. And I’ve never seen you there. Sorry to break this to you that way. But you must see it from the good way: He never appreciated you anyway.”
“What is that suppose to mean?”
“How much do you even know? The way he leaves you near to every night, to go out to places that you are obvious oblivious to. God, when was the last time you really felt loved and cherished in that relationship?”
“I feel cherished and loved…all the time,” Nick stated, carefully choosing his words and pace.
“Seriously, the sex can’t be very good – I mean, it can’t be the only reason that you’re still with him.”
“Our sex is… isn’t any of your business.”
“It must be that vanilla, boring sex… but, whatever – keeping you under his thumb, thinking he can have anyone and everyone, but he can’t.” Greg stopped for a moment and let Nick think about it, and then he started up again.
“You know…now that you’re on the market again, there will be a lot of guys turning their heads when you pass them. You’re quite a catch – and I could just… well, I could stare at you all day.”
“I’m not single,” Nick continued to protest.
“Why do you still wanna be with him? God, what did he do to you that you still want to be with him? Okay, maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough…when I said cheating I didn’t mean kissing or making out, I meant…more,” Greg said gravely.
“I don’t want to know about that. Why…how do you know that? I mean do you follow him as well?”
Greg held a smirk before he began to speak again. “On one hand I would say know and study your enemy. On the other… You know, a couple of my VIP clients’ kinda think he’s cute, or things like that. I don’t know what you all see in him but anyway. Let’s just say my club has rooms in the back which can be used by certain special clientele, including your man,” Greg said, watching Nick’s expression instantly switch from indignation to hurt and fear.
“Get rid of that stupid idiot. He doesn’t deserve you anyway. And get someone who loves you,” Greg finished with a flourish.
“He loves me,” Nick said shakily without looking at Greg.
“O-kay.” Greg said and waited, finally realizing that Nick was serious about all of it. “God, what did he do to you? Brainwashing? Question…when was the last time he took you out? For dinner, a movie…on a holiday? Surprised you with something? Made love to you all night…so sweet and gentle that you felt cherished and thought you two might be the only two people in the world and that time itself had stopped?”
“That’s none of your business,” Nick said, throwing his hands in the air and turning his back to Greg.
“Never then? Do you really feel happy in that relationship, Nicky?”
Instead of answering, Nick just continued to look toward the trees in the distance.
“Don’t you want to experience the exciting side of life? Even for just a little while?” Greg finally asked.
“My life is exciting.” Nick’s voice was flat and without feeling – he was a man defeated.
“Yeah; each day an iced mocha on your way to 8 hours of accounting – your only break is taken with your secretary. And then you go back to either an empty house, or a boyfriend that doesn’t care if you’re there or not. Exciting? Yeah, you definitely live on the edge of adventure.”
“Maybe I don’t need that adventure. I’m happy with my life. Maybe you’ve never met anyone who was entirely happy with what they had and didn’t need your type of adventure in their lives. Ever thought about that?” Nick paused; it was his turn to wait for Greg to think – but he continued regardless of Greg.
“Greg, did you ever think about that…maybe you can’t have me? That I’m not like some product you just buy somewhere? I have my own will and I use it. So why are you doing this? Why are you… I mean, you didn’t really think that I would throw myself at you and leave my boyfriend now, did you? You don’t even know me, don’t know what kind of person I am. For all you know, I’m a bad person and a bad boyfriend.”
“You aren’t. The only horrible boyfriend is the guy you’re with. Your secretary is literally all over you when talking about you. She’s like ‘he’s so cute, such a nice guy, so lovely, he needs a nice girl in his life’. I take it she doesn’t know about you being gay then, does she?” he asked.
“You talked with my secretary? When? And about me? Why? And…no, no she doesn’t know about me being gay.”
“I’m your client – remember? Sometimes, I just need papers and stuff – and you’re busy. So, she and I chat sometimes. That’s how I know so much about you – and how I know that you’re a good guy.”
“And why do you risk so much? Just because I’m a nice guy according to my 63 year old secretary?”
Greg had to laugh before being able to answer. “Well! I have to be honest with you. I’m kinda vain and selfish…and I’m used to getting what I want. You were a challenge from the start – it has been infuriating - you didn’t even notice when I flirted with you. You’re cute, handsome, sexy and easy on the eyes. And, you have that innocence around you, an innocence what makes you oh-so-sexy and oh-so-tempting. The first time I saw you I knew I had to have you…”
“Had to have me? Selfish much?” Nick interjected.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I just…you never reacted to any of my actions. I just… God you’re so gorgeous. And since I usually go after what I want, I went after you - kidnapped you, so that I could have my way with you,” Greg deviously, giving Nick a slightly naughty smile.
Nick let out a quite unwanted noise, sounding like a whimper.
“I’m kidding Nick. Just teasing you, god you make me teasing you so easy. But seriously…I really have to concentrate on not jumping you. If there was a ‘you and me’ I think I would be all over you, probably wouldn’t let you go on your own for just a second.”
“So you’re possessive and jealous, as well as selfish?”
Greg laughed again, shaking his head, before looking at Nick. “Actually, no - but you bring this out in me. It’s not like I’m always like that. Just…you know… in the beginning.”
“Why now? Why not a month ago or… last year?”
“Well, your boyfriend’s on a business trip this week, so there wouldn’t be anyone around.”
“How come you know about Michael being on a business trip anyway?”
“As I said, he’s a customer at my club, he’s always mentioning his travels – I guess he thinks it will impress people, but more so – I think it’s to tell people about his sexual escapades.”
Nick suddenly went silent, wearing an expression on his face Greg would describe as anxiety and insecurity, mixed with curiosity.
“Michael… you said he is often there…” Nick said in a very low voice and nearly impossible to hear.
“Yes…he is.”
“And he…he has always someone a-around?”
Greg first didn’t get what Nick said, didn’t understand what he meant. He was about to ask again when he realized that Nick was probably talking about Michael’s encounters with other guys.
“Nicky, this shouldn’t be …this is about you, being here, not about him and what he does back at my club… or on his trips”
It was a subtle truth that Greg spoke of – and Nick found himself both angry and somehow relieved. The anger was so much at Greg or at Michael – but at himself for being so blind – it wasn’t the first time he had been at the wrong end of an affair.
“Nick, I’m sorry, I just…”
“No, it’s alright. Don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ve just been stupid enough to think someone would love me. Maybe it isn’t even them, maybe it’s just me.”
“What do you mean?” Greg asked, utterly confused at Nick’s reaction to the news.
“Michael is cheating on me, my ex did the same, and the one before was actually just fooling around with me…”
“And why should this be your fault? I mean…they are the stupid ones, throwing a diamond like you away like that.”
“Maybe I’m just…boring. In the beginning everything is fine but maybe at some point they realize that I’m just too plain, too boring and too vanilla,” he pouted, sullenly.
“Stop it. It’s all their fault to search for something more perfect than you are.”
“I’m not perfect, but thanks anyway,” Nick smiled weakly, finally accepting one of Greg’s compliments.
“Okay, so maybe you’re not completely perfect, but nobody’s perfect anyway. And being less boring…well you can ‘learn’ to be less boring. And who defines boring anyway? I mean when you think you’re not boring then you’re not, ‘cause in the end it should be more important to you what you think of yourself than anyone else.”
“Learn to be less boring?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, why not. Having the right boyfriend or partner to show you what else you can ‘do’… in the end it’s like kissing for example. Most people aren’t great at it to start, but the more practice you have, or the more someone shows you how to maybe do it better…the better you’ll get.”
“You comparing the fact that you can learn to have a less boring life with the fact that you can learn how to be an amazing kisser? That’s kinda farfetched, don’t you think?”
“No, why? It’s kinda the same. If I take you now to my club and let you live the high life for a few weeks, you would change. You would start hanging out with different people, and would change your leisure time activities, might even change your look. All just because these people show you how life could be as well, what it could offer to you.”
“So, all I need is just someone to change me?” Nick was exasperated at the circles that the conversation seemed to be taking them in.
“Well, all you actually need is me,” Greg replied simply.
Seeing Greg was serious, Nick was hard pressed to suppress his laughter. “Greg…I really….”
“Nick, before you go on, let me ask you something. Are you happy with your life right now, the way it is? Your friends? Your love life? Although, I kinda expect the answer on that question will be ‘no’ anyway. But are you really happy? There is absolutely nothing that you would change?”
“There are always things people would want to change. I mean, show me one person who is 100% happy with his life and wouldn’t change a thing. That’s just human to always criticize, to always aim higher.”
“Well, I can say I’m probably very happy with my life. Yeah sure, everyone wants always some changes, but I have to say I’m perfectly happy with my life and the way it is. I have great friends and I’m financially independent…”
“So, there’s not really a thing you want to change?” Nick asked.
“You didn’t let me finish… yes, there is something in my life that I would want to change – one big thing.”
“And that one thing is?”
“To have you in my life,” Greg said confidently as he stared into Nick’s eyes. It was looking into Greg’s eyes that Nick began to feel himself falling again – it was like he had felt next to the pool – an undeniable chemistry – something that was bizarrely more than physical attraction. Like he could be locked into Greg’s eyes forever – and he would be ok with that.
“So what if you can’t have me?” Nick asked, with a shy smile – he felt the need to at least play coy – to try and throw Greg off, if only just a little..
“Well, then I have to try until I get you.”
On one level – it felt amazing to Nick to have such attention placed only on him. He didn’t have to share it or fight for it – Greg just wanted him… the way he was.
Greg, for his part, noted the subtle change in Nick – he saw the person starved for attention.
Maybe Nick wouldn’t leave Michael, but no one could hold it against him if he was enjoying the attention directed at him now. Michael hadn’t done anything to show his love or even interest in months.
“You know… when I look at you, I see someone so gorgeous and fabulous, who seems to be oblivious to that. This soft side with your sweet core – it gets to me. Don’t ask me why, because usually I’m not into guys like you – so shy and naïve, but there is just something that tells me… you are more. And that you don’t really want to be like that either – there is something inside you dying to get out.”
“I… I don’t want to be your little experiment. You know? I don’t want to be around you just so you can drag me to shops, and stylists, ‘hip me up’, present me to whoever you want me to present and as soon as I’m the new ‘me’ to be thrown away. That’s not what I want and certainly not agreeing to.” Nick stated firmly, but his confidence in his ability to resist Greg’s charisma was fading.
Greg paused for a moment – taking the time to fully understand Nick’s deeper meaning. “Well, I’m definitely not going to ‘throw you away’ after I ‘hipped you up,’ to say it with your words. Although … the accountant thing…that might be a pretty huge barrier in your progress of being ‘hipped up’.”
“Why does anyone think being an accountant is boring? That’s not true.”
“So your life as an accountant is hilarious and exciting?”
“That’s a trick question. If I say yes now you’ll ask me, what is so exciting about it and than I’ll answer you and you’re going to say that it isn’t exciting and hip. I just like … you know, I like numbers… Why are you grinning now?” Nick tried to mock outrage.
“I just think it’s so cute. The fact that you like numbers. Aww, this is just so…cute. I never knew you could actually like numbers, you know.”
“Well, I tend to like them. And I know it’s weird, but … that’s me.”
“Hey, as I said, I think it’s cute. And I’m not complaining either, ‘cause you’re my accountant. I mean … you do my taxes. And so far you did a pretty good job. And I’d like to have you do my taxes in the future as well. So if you like numbers … hell, that’s great.”
The evening went on with Nick continuing to enjoy Greg – even growing marginally comfortable with him. It was like he was under Greg’s spell. Everything sounded so nice, so sweet, so right. Exactly something what Nick’s damaged soul needed right now, someone to care of it.
For Greg the evening went just perfect. It seemed as if Nick was exactly where he wanted him to be, actually listening and understanding why his life had played out in such a bizarre way. Just another few more days and he was sure Nick would be convinced that Michael wasn’t everything life had to offer. Just a few days more.
chapter: 3 of 15
authors:
it_glitters and mangojunkieRating: NC-17 throughout *too lazy to rate each chapter separetly :P*
spoilers: none, since AU
warnings: none for this chapter
summary: the coninuation of the previous chapter. This is the evening now, and Nick and Greg have dinner and talk
A/N: Well it is Wednesday =) And you get the update, since you have been so nice =) Hope you all still like it, and there will be some NC-17 anytime soon, with the next chapter. =) YOu want it, be honest. Off to fic now :D
In the evening, however, Nick was wholly surprised when he found out Greg’s plan to cook dinner and eat outside on terrace. Greg desperately refused the offer from Nick to help him with the food or setting the table. Nick didn’t even know what Greg was cooking.
Greg had decided that having Nick around him all the time now, while he was preparing dinner would be too much since Nick was desperate to help at least a bit, but Greg refused. He ended up sending Nick to go and get some wine they would have. It was simply a task Greg had made up to distract Nick – he already had the wine ready, but he just needed a moment alone to get things set just the right way. He knew it would give him ample time, since Nick was in search of a wine that didn’t exist.
Eventually, Nick returned: a bottle of something in his hand and a look of frustration painting his face. “Sorry, I couldn’t find your wine. And I didn’t know what else would go with the food, so I just took one that sounded okay.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Greg said flippantly. “The bottle I told you to look for doesn’t exist. I just sent you down there so I could prepare everything without you watching everything. And the bottle you brought…ahm…put it into the fridge for the moment and when you’re done, meet me outside, will you?” Greg asked, as he took two large spoons and the bowl from the fridge and walked outside.
Nick placed the wine bottle in the fridge and followed Greg to the terrace. Even though he had a view from his bedroom, nothing matched the real thing – and Greg had made it even more amazing. The table was covered with a large tablecloth that wrinkled when it met the floor. On the table were glasses, dishes and silverware, with candles and a bottle of wine was standing next to the table in a wine cooler. The floor around the table and the chairs was partly covered in petals from white roses, and even on the table a few were to be found.
Greg was standing behind his chair, smiling at Nick. “I hope this is okay.”
“This is…well, I certainly wouldn’t have expected anything like this. Why aren’t you sitting down?”
“I’m waiting for you to join me.”
Nick was surprised by the gesture, he wasn’t used to people actually waiting for him.
As he sat down, Nick could not hold his tongue about the rose petals that littered the table and floor. “Why you used so many roses?” he asked, curiosity finally getting the best of him.
“Why not? I thought it would be a nice gesture and would look nice as well. Add to the ambience. And they are a sign of love, well red roses would have been more specific to love, but white have so much more class.”
Nick was still taken aback whenever Greg mentioned the word love; it just didn’t seem real. He had mentioned it in passing and Nick had been able to avoid it to some extent, but now it was staring him in the face.
“Ahm…love?”
“Yeah, you know…two persons finding each other, sharing all these wonderful moments together. Having a nice, romantic dinner, talking with each other, paying attention to each other, having this nice warm fuzzy feeling inside of you. Love.”
“But you’re not talking about the two of us now, are you?”
“Why not?” Greg asked confidently.
Another shock for Nick, since he hadn’t expected that answer either. “Greg, you don’t even know me...how can you possibly say you love me? And how could you even think that this love could be reciprocated?”
“Love at first sight.” Greg replied, beaming at Nick. “You do my accounting quite often…or help me do it. Or whatever. You know what I mean. And I couldn’t help it – there was something there – a spark if you will.”
“We didn’t really talk about private stuff, did we? You just came by, dropped your things off, made a few explanations every now and then, asked a few things occasionally … we never talked about something that wasn’t involved with your taxes and things.”
“I don’t need to talk to someone to fall in love with him,” Greg explained.
“Greg, stop it…you’re not in love with me,” Nick declared, raising his voice a bit.
“I know how I feel, I’m not stupid…” Greg said stubbornly as he refilled Nick’s wineglass.
Nick didn’t remember eating, but he had. Greg took his plate and left him sitting dazedly at the table. Greg returned with a plate laden with Nick’s favorite desert.
“Chocolate truffles?” Nick asked, once again amazed by Greg’s accuracy.
“Yep, since you like them so much. I thought getting them for you would be nice,” Greg smiled as he placed the plate between them.
“But, they aren’t cheap. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but… how…Why…?”
“That’s what love’s about. Although, you seem to see things differently. But in the end love’s about doing these little things others probably wouldn’t do, make someone feel special, isn’t it?” Greg said as he picked up a truffle and placed it against Nick’s lips. It was undeniable, he wanted it, and he had wanted Greg to feed it to him. Nick opened his mouth and let Greg place the truffle inside, his fingertips ghosting Nick’s lips. He paused, and then tried to get back onto track.
“But,” he said, swallowing the chocolate. “Just because I do your accounting…that doesn’t mean you know me.”
“Maybe I know more than you think?”
“Give me an example”
“Well, you leave your house every day at exactly 8 o’clock, except for Wednesday’s when you leave for work around 9. On your way to work you stop at Starbucks, to get your favorite coffee – iced white chocolate mocha – every day. You like country music. Don’t get me wrong but I mean…country music and being an accountant…could you be anymore boring? Not that this isn’t cute somehow….but…both?”
“This thing with the coffee still freaks me out. Why… why is that so important for you anyway? Why am I so important? Can’t you just hit on one of your customers, or is that against some rule?” Nick asked, surprised.
“No, it isn’t. In the end I’m the boss, so I make the rules. And why it is so important to me? Because I’d like to know about the guys I’m dating for the rest of my life, well, maybe not dating, hopefully we’ll get over the dating fast and start a proper relationship,” Greg said with a huge smile across his lips.
“How often do I have to tell you? I’m in a relationship - a serious relationship - with a guy I love.”
“You sure about the love thing? ‘Cause the way I see it, you’re not.”
“And how would you know?”
“The way you look at him, it lacks passion. God, I hope you will never look at me like that when we’re together for a while,” Greg whined to himself, clearly ignoring Nick’s protestations.
“We are not in a relationship, and I’m not leaving my boyfriend. And…you watch us? You ARE stalking me.”
“No, I’m not stalking you. Just have seen you often enough with him to know it. Or better…to see the way you look at him. And, why are you in a relationship with someone who doesn’t even love you?”
“How do you know he doesn’t love me?” Nick asked, shocked.
“Well, if he loved you he wouldn’t cheat on you, would he?” Greg threw out casually, as if it was something that Nick should have been already aware of.
“No, he…wait…WHAT? How in Christ’s name do you would know that or if….”
“Nick…I own a club, which he frequents – and he’s never alone. And I’ve never seen you there. Sorry to break this to you that way. But you must see it from the good way: He never appreciated you anyway.”
“What is that suppose to mean?”
“How much do you even know? The way he leaves you near to every night, to go out to places that you are obvious oblivious to. God, when was the last time you really felt loved and cherished in that relationship?”
“I feel cherished and loved…all the time,” Nick stated, carefully choosing his words and pace.
“Seriously, the sex can’t be very good – I mean, it can’t be the only reason that you’re still with him.”
“Our sex is… isn’t any of your business.”
“It must be that vanilla, boring sex… but, whatever – keeping you under his thumb, thinking he can have anyone and everyone, but he can’t.” Greg stopped for a moment and let Nick think about it, and then he started up again.
“You know…now that you’re on the market again, there will be a lot of guys turning their heads when you pass them. You’re quite a catch – and I could just… well, I could stare at you all day.”
“I’m not single,” Nick continued to protest.
“Why do you still wanna be with him? God, what did he do to you that you still want to be with him? Okay, maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough…when I said cheating I didn’t mean kissing or making out, I meant…more,” Greg said gravely.
“I don’t want to know about that. Why…how do you know that? I mean do you follow him as well?”
Greg held a smirk before he began to speak again. “On one hand I would say know and study your enemy. On the other… You know, a couple of my VIP clients’ kinda think he’s cute, or things like that. I don’t know what you all see in him but anyway. Let’s just say my club has rooms in the back which can be used by certain special clientele, including your man,” Greg said, watching Nick’s expression instantly switch from indignation to hurt and fear.
“Get rid of that stupid idiot. He doesn’t deserve you anyway. And get someone who loves you,” Greg finished with a flourish.
“He loves me,” Nick said shakily without looking at Greg.
“O-kay.” Greg said and waited, finally realizing that Nick was serious about all of it. “God, what did he do to you? Brainwashing? Question…when was the last time he took you out? For dinner, a movie…on a holiday? Surprised you with something? Made love to you all night…so sweet and gentle that you felt cherished and thought you two might be the only two people in the world and that time itself had stopped?”
“That’s none of your business,” Nick said, throwing his hands in the air and turning his back to Greg.
“Never then? Do you really feel happy in that relationship, Nicky?”
Instead of answering, Nick just continued to look toward the trees in the distance.
“Don’t you want to experience the exciting side of life? Even for just a little while?” Greg finally asked.
“My life is exciting.” Nick’s voice was flat and without feeling – he was a man defeated.
“Yeah; each day an iced mocha on your way to 8 hours of accounting – your only break is taken with your secretary. And then you go back to either an empty house, or a boyfriend that doesn’t care if you’re there or not. Exciting? Yeah, you definitely live on the edge of adventure.”
“Maybe I don’t need that adventure. I’m happy with my life. Maybe you’ve never met anyone who was entirely happy with what they had and didn’t need your type of adventure in their lives. Ever thought about that?” Nick paused; it was his turn to wait for Greg to think – but he continued regardless of Greg.
“Greg, did you ever think about that…maybe you can’t have me? That I’m not like some product you just buy somewhere? I have my own will and I use it. So why are you doing this? Why are you… I mean, you didn’t really think that I would throw myself at you and leave my boyfriend now, did you? You don’t even know me, don’t know what kind of person I am. For all you know, I’m a bad person and a bad boyfriend.”
“You aren’t. The only horrible boyfriend is the guy you’re with. Your secretary is literally all over you when talking about you. She’s like ‘he’s so cute, such a nice guy, so lovely, he needs a nice girl in his life’. I take it she doesn’t know about you being gay then, does she?” he asked.
“You talked with my secretary? When? And about me? Why? And…no, no she doesn’t know about me being gay.”
“I’m your client – remember? Sometimes, I just need papers and stuff – and you’re busy. So, she and I chat sometimes. That’s how I know so much about you – and how I know that you’re a good guy.”
“And why do you risk so much? Just because I’m a nice guy according to my 63 year old secretary?”
Greg had to laugh before being able to answer. “Well! I have to be honest with you. I’m kinda vain and selfish…and I’m used to getting what I want. You were a challenge from the start – it has been infuriating - you didn’t even notice when I flirted with you. You’re cute, handsome, sexy and easy on the eyes. And, you have that innocence around you, an innocence what makes you oh-so-sexy and oh-so-tempting. The first time I saw you I knew I had to have you…”
“Had to have me? Selfish much?” Nick interjected.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I just…you never reacted to any of my actions. I just… God you’re so gorgeous. And since I usually go after what I want, I went after you - kidnapped you, so that I could have my way with you,” Greg deviously, giving Nick a slightly naughty smile.
Nick let out a quite unwanted noise, sounding like a whimper.
“I’m kidding Nick. Just teasing you, god you make me teasing you so easy. But seriously…I really have to concentrate on not jumping you. If there was a ‘you and me’ I think I would be all over you, probably wouldn’t let you go on your own for just a second.”
“So you’re possessive and jealous, as well as selfish?”
Greg laughed again, shaking his head, before looking at Nick. “Actually, no - but you bring this out in me. It’s not like I’m always like that. Just…you know… in the beginning.”
“Why now? Why not a month ago or… last year?”
“Well, your boyfriend’s on a business trip this week, so there wouldn’t be anyone around.”
“How come you know about Michael being on a business trip anyway?”
“As I said, he’s a customer at my club, he’s always mentioning his travels – I guess he thinks it will impress people, but more so – I think it’s to tell people about his sexual escapades.”
Nick suddenly went silent, wearing an expression on his face Greg would describe as anxiety and insecurity, mixed with curiosity.
“Michael… you said he is often there…” Nick said in a very low voice and nearly impossible to hear.
“Yes…he is.”
“And he…he has always someone a-around?”
Greg first didn’t get what Nick said, didn’t understand what he meant. He was about to ask again when he realized that Nick was probably talking about Michael’s encounters with other guys.
“Nicky, this shouldn’t be …this is about you, being here, not about him and what he does back at my club… or on his trips”
It was a subtle truth that Greg spoke of – and Nick found himself both angry and somehow relieved. The anger was so much at Greg or at Michael – but at himself for being so blind – it wasn’t the first time he had been at the wrong end of an affair.
“Nick, I’m sorry, I just…”
“No, it’s alright. Don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ve just been stupid enough to think someone would love me. Maybe it isn’t even them, maybe it’s just me.”
“What do you mean?” Greg asked, utterly confused at Nick’s reaction to the news.
“Michael is cheating on me, my ex did the same, and the one before was actually just fooling around with me…”
“And why should this be your fault? I mean…they are the stupid ones, throwing a diamond like you away like that.”
“Maybe I’m just…boring. In the beginning everything is fine but maybe at some point they realize that I’m just too plain, too boring and too vanilla,” he pouted, sullenly.
“Stop it. It’s all their fault to search for something more perfect than you are.”
“I’m not perfect, but thanks anyway,” Nick smiled weakly, finally accepting one of Greg’s compliments.
“Okay, so maybe you’re not completely perfect, but nobody’s perfect anyway. And being less boring…well you can ‘learn’ to be less boring. And who defines boring anyway? I mean when you think you’re not boring then you’re not, ‘cause in the end it should be more important to you what you think of yourself than anyone else.”
“Learn to be less boring?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, why not. Having the right boyfriend or partner to show you what else you can ‘do’… in the end it’s like kissing for example. Most people aren’t great at it to start, but the more practice you have, or the more someone shows you how to maybe do it better…the better you’ll get.”
“You comparing the fact that you can learn to have a less boring life with the fact that you can learn how to be an amazing kisser? That’s kinda farfetched, don’t you think?”
“No, why? It’s kinda the same. If I take you now to my club and let you live the high life for a few weeks, you would change. You would start hanging out with different people, and would change your leisure time activities, might even change your look. All just because these people show you how life could be as well, what it could offer to you.”
“So, all I need is just someone to change me?” Nick was exasperated at the circles that the conversation seemed to be taking them in.
“Well, all you actually need is me,” Greg replied simply.
Seeing Greg was serious, Nick was hard pressed to suppress his laughter. “Greg…I really….”
“Nick, before you go on, let me ask you something. Are you happy with your life right now, the way it is? Your friends? Your love life? Although, I kinda expect the answer on that question will be ‘no’ anyway. But are you really happy? There is absolutely nothing that you would change?”
“There are always things people would want to change. I mean, show me one person who is 100% happy with his life and wouldn’t change a thing. That’s just human to always criticize, to always aim higher.”
“Well, I can say I’m probably very happy with my life. Yeah sure, everyone wants always some changes, but I have to say I’m perfectly happy with my life and the way it is. I have great friends and I’m financially independent…”
“So, there’s not really a thing you want to change?” Nick asked.
“You didn’t let me finish… yes, there is something in my life that I would want to change – one big thing.”
“And that one thing is?”
“To have you in my life,” Greg said confidently as he stared into Nick’s eyes. It was looking into Greg’s eyes that Nick began to feel himself falling again – it was like he had felt next to the pool – an undeniable chemistry – something that was bizarrely more than physical attraction. Like he could be locked into Greg’s eyes forever – and he would be ok with that.
“So what if you can’t have me?” Nick asked, with a shy smile – he felt the need to at least play coy – to try and throw Greg off, if only just a little..
“Well, then I have to try until I get you.”
On one level – it felt amazing to Nick to have such attention placed only on him. He didn’t have to share it or fight for it – Greg just wanted him… the way he was.
Greg, for his part, noted the subtle change in Nick – he saw the person starved for attention.
Maybe Nick wouldn’t leave Michael, but no one could hold it against him if he was enjoying the attention directed at him now. Michael hadn’t done anything to show his love or even interest in months.
“You know… when I look at you, I see someone so gorgeous and fabulous, who seems to be oblivious to that. This soft side with your sweet core – it gets to me. Don’t ask me why, because usually I’m not into guys like you – so shy and naïve, but there is just something that tells me… you are more. And that you don’t really want to be like that either – there is something inside you dying to get out.”
“I… I don’t want to be your little experiment. You know? I don’t want to be around you just so you can drag me to shops, and stylists, ‘hip me up’, present me to whoever you want me to present and as soon as I’m the new ‘me’ to be thrown away. That’s not what I want and certainly not agreeing to.” Nick stated firmly, but his confidence in his ability to resist Greg’s charisma was fading.
Greg paused for a moment – taking the time to fully understand Nick’s deeper meaning. “Well, I’m definitely not going to ‘throw you away’ after I ‘hipped you up,’ to say it with your words. Although … the accountant thing…that might be a pretty huge barrier in your progress of being ‘hipped up’.”
“Why does anyone think being an accountant is boring? That’s not true.”
“So your life as an accountant is hilarious and exciting?”
“That’s a trick question. If I say yes now you’ll ask me, what is so exciting about it and than I’ll answer you and you’re going to say that it isn’t exciting and hip. I just like … you know, I like numbers… Why are you grinning now?” Nick tried to mock outrage.
“I just think it’s so cute. The fact that you like numbers. Aww, this is just so…cute. I never knew you could actually like numbers, you know.”
“Well, I tend to like them. And I know it’s weird, but … that’s me.”
“Hey, as I said, I think it’s cute. And I’m not complaining either, ‘cause you’re my accountant. I mean … you do my taxes. And so far you did a pretty good job. And I’d like to have you do my taxes in the future as well. So if you like numbers … hell, that’s great.”
The evening went on with Nick continuing to enjoy Greg – even growing marginally comfortable with him. It was like he was under Greg’s spell. Everything sounded so nice, so sweet, so right. Exactly something what Nick’s damaged soul needed right now, someone to care of it.
For Greg the evening went just perfect. It seemed as if Nick was exactly where he wanted him to be, actually listening and understanding why his life had played out in such a bizarre way. Just another few more days and he was sure Nick would be convinced that Michael wasn’t everything life had to offer. Just a few days more.
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Date: 2006-08-31 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-31 08:47 am (UTC)I should've commented sooner but I sorta did a crash and burn thing yesterday -- but I love it and can't wait till I get to read the next bit on Sunday.
Hugs!
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Date: 2006-09-03 09:16 pm (UTC)