Baby Steps: Chapter 9
Jun. 14th, 2006 09:40 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregBaby Steps 9: Two steps forward, one step back
Author: Catlover2x
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Stokes sisters swing into action, proving that girl power is a force to be reckoned with.
Spoilers: Grave Danger
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Just borrowing and will put back when done.
Beta'd by Jennybel & Godgaleshot, many thanks to both of them. Any errors are mine because I like to fiddle.
Previous chapters can be found all in one clump here: http://www.nickandgreg.com/desert_archive/viewstory.php?sid=1517
Nick laughed when he saw what Jen had brought. She had three Stetsons stacked on her head and dangled the family’s rather large picnic basket from one hand, while carrying a blanket over her other arm.
“Mom?” Nick asked, with a grin.
“Of course,” Jen answered. “This is only a light snack to fill in the hour until lunch.” She set the basket down with a thud. “Let’s go down by the water.” She gave them each a hat and Greg was grateful for the shade; his eyes were still sensitive and squinting in the bright sunlight was starting to make his headache come back.
Nick pulled Greg to his feet. Anxious to demonstrate just how extremely all right he was feeling, the younger man tried to pull his hand away, but Nick kept a firm hold on him as he bent to pick up the basket.
“Thanks, kid,” Jen smiled.
“I’m not–”
“She’s talking to me, Greg. I’m the baby brother,” Nick said with a smile.
Looking suspiciously between the siblings, Greg realized they were telling the truth and relaxed. He actually still felt a bit lightheaded (although he wasn’t going to let either of the over-zealous Stokes’ in on that tidbit of information) so he was happy to be able to hang onto Nick under the guise of holding hands.
Jen spread the blanket on the large rock that overhung the creek and Nick set the basket on it. His sister started to unpack while Greg sat down cross-legged, settling in to watch the show.
“Coffee,” she said, handing him a thermos and mug. “Cold chicken, bread, grapes, cheese, baked beans, donuts, bananas, carrots, cookies, milk, corn bread, coleslaw–”
“You’d think we were going to the North Pole,” Greg protested. “I thought you were going to come back with a few crackers or something. And does your Mom expect us to eat lunch after this too?”
Jen and Nick shared a comfortable laugh. “Mom always wants to make sure that we eat well. She wanted to send me out here with a bunch of hot stuff too, but I told her if she weighed me down too much I wasn’t sure we’d make it back before dark.”
It was actually a very nice picnic and Greg felt more relaxed than he had in the past two weeks. Without him realizing it, Jen enticed him into eating more than he would have, had he been paying attention, by teasing Nick.
“Remember that time you stole Billiam’s horse…?”
“I didn’t steal it, I merely borrowed it,” Nick argued, with a self-conscious grin.
“Yeah, I remember how enthusiastic he was about “loaning” him to you,” Jen chortled.
Greg rested his head on Nick’s shoulder and felt an arm come up around him. He listened to them chat without hearing the words. It was just… nice to sit pressed up against Nick in the sunlight, without having to worry that someone might see them. It was something they’d rarely done back in Vegas.
He took a sip of the coffee; it was his Blue Hawaiian and Greg appreciated the subtle message of support from Jillian. His natural optimism was rearing its perky little head again and even though the reaction from Nick’s father had thrown him, he knew Jillian would help ease the tension however she could. Somehow he had a feeling that she would be perfectly comfortable if she happened to see them kiss or hug.
He eyed Jen speculatively; all of Nick’s sisters had been so relaxed and accepting, it wasn’t exactly the reception he’d been expecting. When she’d come back down the path toward them with the heavy picnic basket, Greg hadn’t thought to remove himself from Nick’s embrace. And, he remembered, Nick hadn’t even flinched at the sight of his sister approaching; just sat there holding him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
~*~
Janice and Billiam were sitting on the fence of the large corral, watching the smaller children trotting their ponies in a circle around the ring. Efrem, one of the hands, was supervising from the center of the ring, laughing with the children and calling out the gait.
Moodily Billiam kicked his feet and waited for his wife to start talking, knowing that he deserved whatever he got. He felt terribly ashamed that he’d reacted the way he had, but it had just kind of creeped him out watching his younger brother go to kiss a man. And he liked Greg; he thought the younger man was intelligent, funny and well mannered. He had no problem with Greg playing with the kids; he knew the stats on pedophilia: white, middle-aged, straight men were the majority of offenders. And Nicky would never choose a man like that.
The longer Janice remained silent, the more Billiam squirmed.
“Bill,” she said softly, surprising him. He thought she was going to really give him hell; she’d told him how much she liked Greg. “Imagine five years from now that Shane comes home to us to introduce us to his boyfriend–”
“You think Shane is gay?” Billiam stuttered in shock.
Janice turned to look at him, her green eyes bright. “Let’s pretend for a minute,” she said. “So he comes home and brings a boyfriend. We welcome the boyfriend with open arms. And say that Chris is there and maybe he’s married and his wife is upset, disgusted. She says their kids can’t be around Shane and his boyfriend.”
“Shane touches his boyfriend’s hand and the girl leaves our house, taking her children with her. How would you feel?”
“No one does that to my son,” Billiam growled. “Fuck! What an asshole I was. Just because I don’t want to kiss Greg… or any other man…”
“Good,” approved Janice. “You better only be wanting to kiss me.”
“I do, honey,” Billiam said, pausing to kiss her. “Okay, I get the point. But I’ve never really seen men kiss, other than really flamboyant types when I was a cop. I guess I just… Nick always seemed so straight… I just never…”
“Nick and Greg are not flamboyant at all. And even if they were, would that make them immoral or bad?”
“I guess I just felt… embarrassed…” Billiam admitted, feeling even more ashamed. “I guess I kinda overreacted…”
“And how would you like it if someone treated our son that way, as if he were disgusting? It’s not as if this is a choice and Nick decided to be gay. He was born this way.”
“You really believe that?” Billiam asked doubtfully.
“I do, and from what I’ve read, there’s research to support that thesis,” Janice answered.
“How do I… get comfortable with this?” Billiam asked humbly.
“Nick was raised the same as the rest of you, you know he’s not going to do anything too intimate in public. They have to be careful everywhere they go, especially at work. They have to watch how they touch and even how they look at each other. Wouldn’t it be nice if they felt comfortable enough to relax when they’re here? All I know is that if you want to see your brother, you’d be wise to welcome Greg with open arms.”
Billiam nodded absently, his mind chasing back to their son. “So, you think Shane…?”
“I’m not sure yet,” Janice said with a soft smile. “If he is…?”
“He’s our son,” Billiam said firmly. “It makes no difference.” It was amazing how much better it made him feel. He felt prepared to watch Nick make out with Greg if that’s what it took to get comfortable with this. No way was he ever going to make this mistake again, especially not with his own brother… or son. He suddenly understood his mother’s willingness to allow Nick to stay in the same room with Greg and he was shaken by the realization of just how much courage it must have taken for Nick and Zo’e to announce that they were gay to their family.
How terrified Nick must have been when he’d decided to do this, Billiam thought. And I was not a big help. He sighed and Janice patted his hand, she probably knew just what he was thinking, she always seemed to.
“You go, bro!”
Billiam turned to find his youngest sister standing behind him and gave her a rueful smile. “Hey, Zo’e. Did you come to tell me what a jerk I am?”
“No,” Zo’e said, climbing up and swinging her leg over the top rail of the fence. “Came to hug my big brother and tell him he’s a great guy.”
“Thanks, sis,” Billiam whispered into her hair.
Zo’e gave Janice the thumb’s up over his shoulder and mouthed, ‘Nice work’.
~*~
After eating their picnic lunch, Nick helped Jen repack the basket. “I’m going to head back to the house,” she said. “Greg, you might want to get some rest. We’re taking the kids on a trail ride, so it should be pretty quiet this afternoon.”
Greg nodded meekly, looking subdued.
Accurately assessing what was on his mind, Jen said, “Don’t worry, it won’t be awkward. I’ll bet you anything my sisters have been busy with a rear guard mop up operation.”
Greg solemnly pumped his fist in the air. “Girl power!”
Jen laughed and imitated the gesture. “Girl power rules! Men are such naïve tools, thinking they rule the world.” She picked up the basket and walked down the path, waving her hand without looking back at them before the bend hid her from view.
Greg seemed drowsy and Nick was content to hold him as they listened to the sounds of the creek and the birds singing in the trees. It was warm and it felt nice to hold Greg outdoors. Sometimes when they went to Lake Mead at night, they would cuddle under a blanket because the desert nights were cold, no matter what time of year it was. But try as he might, Nick couldn’t recall ever touching Greg in the sunlight except for the occasional manly clap on the back when he was absolutely sure no one was looking.
A soft snore made him look down and he chuckled quietly to see Greg was asleep in his arms. He looked tired, but so young and innocent when he was asleep. His mouth was open and he breathed softly through his parted lips. Greg could look sinfully wicked when he was awake, but never more seductive to Nick than when he was completely relaxed and peaceful. Deciding that a soft mattress would be more comfortable than the rock, Nick shook his boyfriend gently.
“Ready to go back to the house, babe?”
“Mmmm.” Greg stretched and sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
Nick stood up, bringing Greg to his feet, watching to be sure that any dizziness had passed. Greg had dark smudges under his eyes but he seemed okay, other than looking a little nervous. “Don’t worry, babe. You don’t need to talk to anyone right away. And trust the girls, they’ll have everyone who needs to know, knowing whatever they need to know and acting right.”
“I sure would obey if Jen gave me my marching orders.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to cross any of them, including Janice.” Nick gave a pretend shudder and held out his hand. “C’mon, babe.”
Startled, Greg allowed Nick to take his hand and they walked slowly down the path, hand in hand, bumping shoulders gently as they walked.
~*~
When they arrived at the house, Nick could tell by the way Greg squeezed his hand that he was still nervous about running into anyone so he led him to the front door figuring that if anyone was about they’d be in the kitchen. Nick held Greg’s hand all the way to the bedroom but they saw no one.
“Okay, babe, time for a nap. Lie down here for an hour or so.”
“I’m fine,” Greg insisted. “You don’t have to fuss over me.”
“Yeah, you always have those dark circles under your eyes and get the shakes after you walk up a flight of stairs. Come on, G, I’ll lie down with you.”
“I’m not tired.” Greg’s mouth gaped open in a huge yawn.
“I am. Humour me, G. Come on.” Nick kicked off his boots and jeans, going around to the other side of the bed to help Greg. He pulled the young man closer and undid his jeans, sliding them down and pushing Greg to sit while he pulled off his sneakers and socks.
Greg yawned again and surrendered to Nick’s embrace, letting his boyfriend pull him down onto his side and curl around him. He felt strong arms circle his waist and snuggled back against Nick, closing his eyes.
Nick felt Greg relax in his arms and breathed a sigh of relief.
~*~
Nick woke up an hour later, still holding Greg. He stretched, easing himself out from under his boyfriend. Nature was calling.
When he returned, Greg hadn’t moved. He looked completely dead to the world so Nick pulled on his jeans and decided to have a look around and see what the others were doing.
He left Greg sleeping and wandered out onto the front porch. He turned at the sound of the screen door banging.
“Zo’e.” He smiled at his sister.
“Nicky,” she came over and put her arms around him. “You gonna talk to Dad?”
Nick hugged her back and nodded. “You heard what happened this morning, huh?”
“Of course, the Stokes grapevine is noted for speed and accuracy.”
“Jen?”
“Yep, and Janice. Actually I heard Janice reaming Billiam, in the nicest possible way, of course, about being a twat earlier. He really feels terrible about it.”
Nick led her over to the hanging swing and they sat down in it together. Zo’e curled her legs under her but Nick left his feet on the floor to give the swing a gentle push whenever it slowed.
“Did Dad have a fit the first time he saw you hug Morgana?”
Zo’e laughed. “Nope, Mom.”
“Really? I just never would have imagined Mom, of all people…” Nick trailed off, shaking his head, trying to picture how his mother had acted. He had a good imagination but that was beyond him.
“Must be a same sex thing. We didn’t throw Dad at all, but from what I heard, he was stupefied seeing you hug Greg. In a way, it’s kind of surprising, I mean, his line of work, man of the world, probably seen a lot of porn in his day…”
Nick shook his head. “Dad would never watch porn.”
Zo’e just laughed and ruffled his hair. “Still so innocent and in your line of work too. You haven’t seen their private stash.”
“Mom? Mom watches porn?”
“Don’t puke on me, Nicky. She watches the soft stuff made for women, the erotica. That’s all they have. Nothing too hard core.”
“Still.” Nick was stunned. He never actually pictured his parents… “I mean, I knew they had sex at least seven times but…”
“Don’t you want to fuck till you’re old and grey?” Zo’e asked with a mischievous grin.
“Well, yeah, but…” Nick was so busy absorbing this new information he didn’t even react to Zo’e’s characteristically forthright choice of words.
“So, our parents are sexual beings too. And take comfort in the fact that if they’re still doing it, they’ve passed on some horny genes to us. We have lots of fabulous sex to look forward to.”
“Yeah, but…”
“You still having trouble thinking about them doing it?”
“Yes!”
“So you can empathize with Dad then, when he had the real thing shoved in his face with no warning. I’ll bet he thought he was prepared, and then found it was a little more than he could swallow. Give him a little time. He’ll get comfortable with it.”
“How long?” Nick demanded.
“I don’t know, Nicky. How long until you’re able to tell Greg you love him in English? How long before society accepts people like us as normal, not some aberration? How long before Greg bears your children?”
“Whaaa–?”
“Just kidding. Things were getting too serious,” Zo’e laughed. “Play nice with Dad and Billiam.” She got up and kissed the top of his head. “I kind of prefer them alive.”
~*~
“Do you want me in there?” Jillian asked.
“That’s up to you and Dad, I’m not going to say anything that I wouldn’t want you to hear,” Nick answered.
“Let’s go,” Jillian said simply.
Bill Sr. was sitting at his desk, staring into space when Nick knocked and poked his head around the door.
“Hey, Dad, can we talk?”
Bill’s head came up slowly and he stared at Nick blankly until his gaze cleared. “Yeah,” he said on a long exhale. “Yeah.”
Jillian went to her husband and gave him a kiss before crossing to a chair by the fireplace. Nick stood in front of the fire, his arms crossed over his chest, watching his father cautiously.
“Um, earlier today, out at the corral, you were behind me, but Jen and Greg both told me that you were… surprised… when I went to… to… kiss… Greg.”
Nick was dying inside; this was embarrassing and painful. His father’s eyes were so haunted, his mouth was turned down and he looked totally miserable. Only his conversation with Zo’e earlier kept Nick from getting angry and storming out. That and his earnest desire not to disappoint Greg. He had to make sure things were comfortable for Greg, he reminded himself.
“I never meant to… shock you… or make you uncomfortable…”
Still Bill Sr. said nothing. Jillian watched and waited; she knew this was not hers to fix. She prayed that the loving man she knew would be able to embrace this aspect of their son, if not she feared the breach that must follow. She missed Nick. In all the time he’d been working in Las Vegas, he’d rarely come home to visit. Jillian wanted her son back. She could see how necessary Greg and Nick were to each other and she wanted them both to feel comfortable enough to visit. But she could only wait and listen.
Finally Bill opened his mouth. “At least you’re the man in the relationship.”
Jillian watched as Nick’s body stiffened. The flash of anger in his eyes boded ill for the outcome, but he managed to control his uncertain emotions.
“Dad, I am a man, but so is Greg. He’s not some feminine version of a man; he’s as strong and as masculine as I am. Hell, he may not be as strong physically, but inside, where it counts, he’s stronger than me. I love him because he is a man.”
A part of Jillian wanted to stand up and applaud Nicky; at last he’d taken a stand. Another part of her wanted to run to Bill, pull his head against her and hold him until he was able to bear this truth.
Bill looked stricken. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…”
“Dad, stop thinking about the… physical stuff. We love each other because of who we are, it’s not all about what we do in bed. I love Greg when we’re doing the laundry or arguing over whose turn it is to take out the trash.”
“Sorry… I’m sorry… I guess I just never pictured…”
Suddenly Nick laughed and Jillian smiled with relief to hear it.
“You know, I was talking to Zo’e earlier and I had a little moment of epiphany about you and Mom; I never pictured… um…” he stopped speaking and coloured. “Listen, I’m not going to do anything… sexual… with Greg in public, no matter where I am. But since I came home, I felt like you guys really understood and accepted us. I felt comfortable.”
“Today Greg mentioned that I never touch him outside my house. Imagine if you could never touch Mom outside this house. Imagine if everywhere you went, people would stare at you and whisper if you held hands or put your arm around her. That’s what our life is like.”
“I kind of hoped that maybe while we were here, it would be okay if I could hug him or kiss him, just like Billiam and all the girls do with their spouses. Nothing more than that… it’s just… I love him. Sometimes I just want to touch him.”
Nick stopped speaking. His father still looked stunned and Nick’s shoulders slumped in defeat, his eyes fixed on the older man. He wasn’t looking at Jillian, but his mother’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears of pride. For him.
Just as Nick was about to turn and walk out of the room in defeat, Bill straightened his shoulders and looked his son in the eyes.
“I’m a fool,” Bill said, with a faint smile.
Jillian couldn’t contain herself, she leaped to her feet and clapped her hands. “Bravo!”
Bill laughed. “Your mother is always so positive whenever I announce I’ve been a fool. I can always tell just what an ass I’ve been by how enthusiastic her applause is and I guess I was a grand prize, Grade A, blue ribbon, number one asshole this time, Pancho.”
“You mean it, Cisco?”
“I– I could have used a little warning. Maybe you could kind of ease into it…?”
“Like hold hands for a while first?” Nick asked with a hopeful grin.
“Yeah, that would work. Maybe by the time you boys leave, you could work me up to being okay if you kiss?”
“I can handle that,” Nick agreed.
Jillian stood up and went to her husband. “I’m proud of you, dear.” She sat on her husband’s lap, amused to see Nick’s expression go from stunned to manfully bearing up under the shock to gratified acceptance.
“Sit, Nicky, I want to tell you something,” Jillian ordered.
Nick took the chair by the fireplace.
“Zo’e may have told you that I had the same problem when I first saw her with Morgana.”
Nick nodded, enthralled by her face. After several days here, he’d become aware of a serene aura around Jillian, a kind of acceptance that was new. She’d always been a calm woman, but somehow she seemed more centered now, confident.
“Of course, my children are perfect, so Morgana had to be the evil seductress who lured Zo’e into a deviant lifestyle, right?” Jillian giggled. “Then I met Morgana. Turns out it was Zo’e who seduced her and Morgana is just as funny, bright and outspoken as Zo’e. I liked her, but I refused to give in to it.”
“Then I saw them holding hands and I almost had a cow right there. I whisked myself out of the room, hoping that I hadn’t made a big deal of it, but of course I had and everyone knew. I’m just lucky Zo’e didn’t decide to come after me herself. It was Helena who cornered me and asked who died. That put it into proportion for me.”
“But were you disgusted by seeing them?” Nick asked curiously, feeling almost as if he was conducting an investigation.
“More… uncomfortable, I’d say. Helena asked why and I had to admit that I was picturing them in bed. She then asked me to picture her and David in bed.” Jillian sighed. “That was a wake up call. I would never have dreamed of doing that with any of my other children, so why did it become such a problem for me with Zo’e and Morgana?”
Nick smiled. “Because you’re not used to the concept?”
Jillian nodded. “And can I learn? I passed the bar exam, learned to drive and figured out your grandmother Stokes’s secret recipe for Christmas cookies, so yes, I think I can put a little effort into learning to accept that one of my kids is gay. Or even two, three or however many. You and Greg are made for each other and I would be very proud if one day you felt comfortable enough that you didn’t think twice before reaching out to him whether we’re watching or not.”
“Dad?” Nick turned to his father.
“Your mother put it better than I ever could, but I’m willing to learn if you’ll be patient me,” Bill said humbly.
Nick sighed. “You’ll have to help me too, when I get upset. I’ve been ignoring Greg, taking him for granted. When you said I was the man in the relationship, I was acting that out last night but it isn’t true at all. Please don’t say anything like that in front of him, will you?”
“I’m sorry, Nicky. I realized as soon as I said it that it was hurtful and stupid.” Bill looked up regretfully at his tall son as Nick stood. “Do you want me to apologize to Greg?”
“Not for that, don’t bring it up. He doesn’t need to deal with that as well,” Nick said with a smile. “If you could apologize for this morning, though, that would mean a lot, he’s kind of upset about it. He’s afraid you’re mad at him.”
“Of course,” Bill said. “I really didn’t mean… And Nick, I want you to feel comfortable in your home, so if you want to… to kiss… or hold hands… you will, won’t you?”
“I’ll have to see if I can talk Greg into it, he’s a little skittish right now. And, thanks, Dad,” Nick said and slipped from the room. He wanted to see if Greg was awake yet.
“Oh Jilly, I blew it. I never meant to hurt them, either one of them,” Bill said.
“I know dear. It’ll be all right.” Jillian kissed her husband and they sat in silence, holding each other.
~*~
Nick walked out of his father’s den, with a strange sensation of hanging suspended in air, like the time he tried hang gliding. His parents’ acceptance just added to the unreality he’d been experiencing ever since he was kidnapped, but at least this feeling was a good one. He was planning to avail himself of the permission to touch Greg as soon as possible and accordingly, he took the stairs two at a time. He couldn’t wait to tell Greg how it went with his father.
Greg was still peacefully asleep and Nick was grateful; he’d worried that when he went downstairs Greg might have a nightmare. He’d certainly had enough stress that day. Nick had noticed that stress seemed to bring on the nightmares. Sometimes he would initiate sex when he knew the younger man was anxious, hoping to wear Greg out so he’d sleep soundly, not that Nick ever needed an excuse to make love to his boyfriend.
He checked his watch, still a couple of hours till dinner, so strictly speaking Greg didn’t need to wake up right away. Nick crawled onto the bed and propped his chin in both hands, settling in to watch the younger man sleep. Awake, Greg was always moving, laughing, talking, lots of talking. When he walked he bounced on his toes as if his source of energy was inexhaustible, always ready with a quip or a joke, no matter what the subject was. Nothing roused the tenderness in Nick like watching Greg sleep; it was such a contrast to his usual frenetic self.
As if Greg felt his comforting presence, he drew in a deep breath and turned toward Nick, curling in against him. He sighed again and made a couple little smacking noises, which made Nick laugh quietly under his breath. Finally his lashes fluttered and he opened his eyes. He looked at Nick blankly for a moment and then smiled.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Nick answered. He wiggled closer and bent his head for a kiss. He was completely surprised by Greg’s reaction; he recoiled and rolled away, flailing wildly for balance at the edge of the bed before falling off. Nick looked over the side to see Greg sprawled on the floor, rubbing his ass ruefully.
“What was that all about?” he asked mildly.
“Sorry… sorry Nick. I guess, after this morning, I just don’t want anyone to hear us… do anything…”
Greg looked so uncomfortable and so apologetic that Nick took pity on him and hauled him back up onto the bed.
“Well, no one’s up here right now if that makes you feel any better.”
“I can’t,” Greg hissed. “I wasn’t thinking about it before… but God, your parents! Your brother, what if they heard us…?”
“They’re not gonna get mad, Greg. In fact, I think you’re going to be overwhelmed with apologies when you go downstairs. My dad is going to say he’s sorry. I haven’t seen Billiam yet but Zo’e assures me he’s been properly chastised by Janice and is really sorry for the way he acted.”
“God.” Greg rolled his eyes up. “I’d almost rather they’d just let it go. It’s like making more of a big deal over it, you know?”
Nick carefully put an arm around the younger man, relieved when Greg leaned into his embrace. “I feel like I keep asking for your understanding and generosity; like it’s always you that has to give, but if you could find it in your heart to allow them to make it up to you… I’d be… very grateful. I know my dad thinks he’s been an ass, he announced that.”
Nick grinned and recounted the scene in the den, heartened by Greg’s smile when he reached the part where Jillian stood up and cheered.
“Zo’e thinks they watch soft porn?” Greg asked in disbelief.
“She says she gave them some, so I guess she would know,” Nick shuddered. “I just don’t want to think about my parents getting busy in the bedroom.”
“Yeah, I know, I still can’t believe my parents didn’t hatch me out of a test tube,” Greg grinned. The irony of it struck him. “Your dad must have been picturing us…”
“Yeah, he was,” Nick agreed. “My mom kind of put it into a different light for all of us. And by the time I left, dad was practically begging for us to kiss or hold hands at will.” He paused, watching Greg’s troubled face. “They really want us to be comfortable here. They want you to be comfortable.”
Greg rolled onto his face and groaned. “Great, and now I feel more uncomfortable than ever. I have to face everyone and listen to them flounder. I feel how a cockroach must with Grissom hovering over him, urging him to the finish line.”
“Don’t worry, you’re much cuter than a cockroach,” Nick said consolingly, running a hand over Greg’s back. He felt the scars through the thin t-shirt, knowing right where they were.
“Thanks, I think,” Greg mumbled into the bedspread.
“Come on, it won’t be so bad. I’m sure Dad doesn’t want to draw any more attention to it than you do. Why don’t you get a shower and we’ll go downstairs. The kids’ll be back from their ride and we’ll have dinner and everything will be fine.”
“Okay,” Greg agreed. “But you’re going to owe me.”
“Anything,” Nick promised rashly.
“Even a visit to my parents?” Greg rolled over with a twinkle in his eye.
“You wouldn’t!”
“Don’t test me,” Greg teased.
“The only thing keeping you safe from an all out tickle attack right now is my knowledge that you’d like that even less than I would,” Nick said with mock severity.
“You know me too well,” Greg groaned.
~*~
While Greg took his shower Nick went downstairs, giving him time to collect his thoughts. After he’d finished dressing Greg decided to spike his hair for once. He’d taken to leaving it more natural at work, trying to look more conservative now that he was a CSI, but Nick really liked it spiky, so he spent time and product to achieve an appropriately elevated result.
Of course, he realized he was stalling. The longer he spent on his hair, the less time there would be for anyone to make a big thing of this morning. He wished he could just slip into the background and everyone could pretend it never happened and they were one big happy family. Then he and Nick could go home.
When Greg finally emerged from the room he was sharing with Nick, he’d admitted to himself that his hair was perfect; he was just nervous about talking to anyone about what had happened with Nick’s father and brother at the corral.
He stopped short at the head of the stairs. Five smiling faces were upturned to his, all beautiful and reminiscent of Nick. Each of Nick’s sisters occupied the stair directly under her photograph and they were clearly lying in wait for him.
Greg thought, ‘Jen wasn’t kidding about running the gauntlet.’
He sighed in resignation. “Okay, how do you want to do this?”
“Sit with me, Greg,” Lily said, patting the stair above hers. “We wanted to talk to you and at the end of this, we want you to have no doubt about how we feel toward you.”
He sat and she touched his face.
“Mom told us a long time ago, before she knew about you, that Nicky had someone. And we were all happy for him, he’s been alone so long. I’ve never seen Nicky as happy as he is with you. I think he’d been denying things for a long time until he met you.” She smiled at him. “Since meeting you, I can see why you wouldn’t be denied. He’d have to be crazy if he’d been able to walk away from you.”
“It had to be hard for Nicky to come back here and tell everyone he’s gay. For his sake, give Dad another chance. Let Nick realize how much we all love him and that it makes no difference to us. Let him have this as a good memory. Dad already loves you, he’ll come around. When we see you again this time next year, everything will be fine, I assure you.”
“Got it. Thanks, Lily.”
She hugged Greg and pulled her legs up, turning so he could scoot down to Vanessa’s level.
Vanessa put her arm around him, feeling the tension in his body.
“Relax, Greg. I know you’re nervous but it’s not Dad’s way to make a big show. He won’t say anything to you in front of everyone. It’ll be okay.”
“Easy for you to say,” Greg mumbled.
“I think I’m safe in saying that we’ve all been there. In a big family, blame gets thrown around and tempers fray. But we always make it up. And Dad has a lot of dignity, he understands pride. He won’t hurt yours.” She understood the look of doubt in Greg’s eyes. “A big family and it just keeps getting bigger. You’re part of our family now.”
“Oh, boy.” Greg blinked rapidly, not really caring how lame his comment sounded. He was touched, though a little embarrassed by this show of support from Nick’s sisters.
“Get down here,” Helena commanded, with her usual smile and Greg scooted down another step. She took his hand in hers and held it while she spoke.
“Don’t get all self conscious on us, kid. We were all watching when you were playing with the kids and you’re a natural with them. Don’t think because Dad had a moment of idiocy that anyone here is ignorant enough to think you shouldn’t be around our kids. They love you and they’ve been bugging us all day, wanting to know when Uncle Greg was going to come out to play.”
Greg chuckled. “Actually I kind of needed the rest; it’s ten against one, the odds are in their favour.”
Helena laughed. “Yeah, imagine if we could harness all that energy. To hell with the oil companies.” Her smile vanished and she leaned forward. “Don’t get all weird with them. It’s okay if you touch Nick in front of them, it’s okay if you touch the kids.”
“I hope that when my children grow up no one will look twice if two men or two women are walking down the street holding hands. It may be unrealistic, but in order to do what I can to make that happen, I want my children to be so used to it, they never think to question it. Zo’e and Morgana hold hands and kiss, and my kids are used to it. I want them to think that it’s normal,” she paused and lifted Greg’s chin so he had to look her right in the eye, “because it is.”
Greg was stunned. “Wow, I don’t think anyone ever said anything nicer to me.”
“I trust you,” Helena responded.
The other four women nodded in agreement as she spoke. Helena hugged Greg and released him.
Without lifting his butt, he slid to the next step where Jen sat.
“Did you get some rest today? You look better,” Jen said, putting her hand on his forehead.
Feeling mothered, Greg submitted to her appraisal and joked, “Yes, doctor, Nicky put me down for a nap and I slept for a couple of hours.”
“Good boy,” Jen approved. “Listen, I’m not going to ask you to be kind to Dad and Billiam because I know you will be. You’ll be nice to them just because you’re a sweet guy and you’ll allow them to say what they need to. They’ll walk away and feel good about themselves. Their guilt will die down over time and eventually they’ll forget that this ever happened. They’ll love you so much you’ll just be part of the family.”
“What I’m afraid of is that you won’t forget. I’ve watched Nicky as fear and doubt scarred him as surely as all the stupid faggot jokes and ignorant comments. I can see the scars life has dealt you too. Don’t let this be one of them. Let it go. It was a mistake, painful for you and for them. It wasn’t about you, it was all about them. Let it go.”
Greg nodded, unable to speak. Her words hit him harder than she knew and he had to swallow a couple of times.
Zo’e was waiting on the last step while the other sisters migrated downward to watch.
“I’ve got your back, kid,” Zo’e said. “I’m the only one here in the same boat as you. I know this whole kidnapping thing hit you hard and you’re a little off balance right now. I know you live in the closet because Nick’s not out yet. It’s tougher for two guys. Some people around here still think Morgana is just my roommate.”
“In your dreams, Zo’e,” Vanessa teased.
“Hey, it could happen. And I wasn’t talking about you guys, I’m just thinking about my next high school reunion,” Zo’e retorted with a wicked grin before turning back to Greg. “Anyway, just remember, you’re not alone. I’ve got your back, hon.”
Greg was touched as Zo’e gave him a final hug, but being a guy, he didn’t want to get all mushy over it. He did want to express his gratitude for their wholehearted support; it meant more to him than they could have known.
Under his reluctance to meet Nick’s father again, a little fear had been lurking; he dreaded Nick’s family watching him around the kids or pointedly looking away when he and Nick were near each other. Somehow Nick’s sisters had assuaged his anxiety. It made such a difference to know they accepted him and hell, even thought he was good and good enough for Nick.
He stood up and faced them. “You girls are the bomb,” was the profound sentiment that came out of his mouth. “Oops, I meant cool and the gang, yo.”
Jen rolled her eyes. “God, you’ve been hanging with Chris and Shane, they’re rubbing off on you.”
Helena stepped over her sisters and hugged Greg. “Not so fast, kid, your Hallmark moment isn’t over yet.”
Zo’e sprang up to join her. “Get him, girls!”
The Stokes sisters came off the stairs and crowded around him, surrounding him in an enthusiastic group hug.
Nick came around the corner and sighed in resignation. “Honestly, I can’t leave you alone for a minute. Women, Greg? And not just one woman, but five? Am I not enough for you or did you find it necessary to put my sisters under the spell of the Famous Sanders Charm?”
“Well, it does take five of them to replace you,” Greg pointed out a little breathlessly as he emerged from the group hug. “And it’s not like I’m cheating on you.”
Nick shook his head sadly. “If only I could be sure of that.”
Zo’e whispered to Greg with a mischievous expression and he shook his head vehemently. She shrugged to her giggling sisters, obviously employing some form of telepathic communication and together, they kept their grip on Greg, shuffling him in Nick’s direction, sucking their baby brother into the hug.
“There,” said Zo’e. “This is how it ought to be.”
“Yeah,” Greg whispered, as Nick took him into his arms and held him close.
TBC
*Guide to the Stokes siblings:
Billiam is Nick’s oldest brother. Billiam was a cop, now a lawyer, and is married to Janice. They have two children: Chris, 14 and very cool and Shane, 13, working on his coolness.
Lily is the next sister; she’s a reporter and writer. She’s married to Martin who is in the FBI. They have two children: a son, Danny, who is 11 and a daughter, 10, Jasmine.
Vanessa is a forensic anthropologist, married to Patrick who is a cop. They have two kids, a daughter, Claire, 12, and a son, Eric, 8.
Helena is a lawyer and free lance writer and is married to David who is a professional chef. They have two children, a son Jeff, 12, and a daughter, Nikki, who is 9.
Jen is married to Brian; they are both doctors. They have two children, a daughter Rowan, 11 and a son, Connor, 10.
Zo’e is an interior designer and her partner Morgana, is the national sales director for a company that manufactures cheerleader uniforms.
Nick is the youngest and his partner is Greg. (As if you didn’t know.)
Author: Catlover2x
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Stokes sisters swing into action, proving that girl power is a force to be reckoned with.
Spoilers: Grave Danger
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Just borrowing and will put back when done.
Beta'd by Jennybel & Godgaleshot, many thanks to both of them. Any errors are mine because I like to fiddle.
Previous chapters can be found all in one clump here: http://www.nickandgreg.com/desert_archive/viewstory.php?sid=1517
Nick laughed when he saw what Jen had brought. She had three Stetsons stacked on her head and dangled the family’s rather large picnic basket from one hand, while carrying a blanket over her other arm.
“Mom?” Nick asked, with a grin.
“Of course,” Jen answered. “This is only a light snack to fill in the hour until lunch.” She set the basket down with a thud. “Let’s go down by the water.” She gave them each a hat and Greg was grateful for the shade; his eyes were still sensitive and squinting in the bright sunlight was starting to make his headache come back.
Nick pulled Greg to his feet. Anxious to demonstrate just how extremely all right he was feeling, the younger man tried to pull his hand away, but Nick kept a firm hold on him as he bent to pick up the basket.
“Thanks, kid,” Jen smiled.
“I’m not–”
“She’s talking to me, Greg. I’m the baby brother,” Nick said with a smile.
Looking suspiciously between the siblings, Greg realized they were telling the truth and relaxed. He actually still felt a bit lightheaded (although he wasn’t going to let either of the over-zealous Stokes’ in on that tidbit of information) so he was happy to be able to hang onto Nick under the guise of holding hands.
Jen spread the blanket on the large rock that overhung the creek and Nick set the basket on it. His sister started to unpack while Greg sat down cross-legged, settling in to watch the show.
“Coffee,” she said, handing him a thermos and mug. “Cold chicken, bread, grapes, cheese, baked beans, donuts, bananas, carrots, cookies, milk, corn bread, coleslaw–”
“You’d think we were going to the North Pole,” Greg protested. “I thought you were going to come back with a few crackers or something. And does your Mom expect us to eat lunch after this too?”
Jen and Nick shared a comfortable laugh. “Mom always wants to make sure that we eat well. She wanted to send me out here with a bunch of hot stuff too, but I told her if she weighed me down too much I wasn’t sure we’d make it back before dark.”
It was actually a very nice picnic and Greg felt more relaxed than he had in the past two weeks. Without him realizing it, Jen enticed him into eating more than he would have, had he been paying attention, by teasing Nick.
“Remember that time you stole Billiam’s horse…?”
“I didn’t steal it, I merely borrowed it,” Nick argued, with a self-conscious grin.
“Yeah, I remember how enthusiastic he was about “loaning” him to you,” Jen chortled.
Greg rested his head on Nick’s shoulder and felt an arm come up around him. He listened to them chat without hearing the words. It was just… nice to sit pressed up against Nick in the sunlight, without having to worry that someone might see them. It was something they’d rarely done back in Vegas.
He took a sip of the coffee; it was his Blue Hawaiian and Greg appreciated the subtle message of support from Jillian. His natural optimism was rearing its perky little head again and even though the reaction from Nick’s father had thrown him, he knew Jillian would help ease the tension however she could. Somehow he had a feeling that she would be perfectly comfortable if she happened to see them kiss or hug.
He eyed Jen speculatively; all of Nick’s sisters had been so relaxed and accepting, it wasn’t exactly the reception he’d been expecting. When she’d come back down the path toward them with the heavy picnic basket, Greg hadn’t thought to remove himself from Nick’s embrace. And, he remembered, Nick hadn’t even flinched at the sight of his sister approaching; just sat there holding him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
~*~
Janice and Billiam were sitting on the fence of the large corral, watching the smaller children trotting their ponies in a circle around the ring. Efrem, one of the hands, was supervising from the center of the ring, laughing with the children and calling out the gait.
Moodily Billiam kicked his feet and waited for his wife to start talking, knowing that he deserved whatever he got. He felt terribly ashamed that he’d reacted the way he had, but it had just kind of creeped him out watching his younger brother go to kiss a man. And he liked Greg; he thought the younger man was intelligent, funny and well mannered. He had no problem with Greg playing with the kids; he knew the stats on pedophilia: white, middle-aged, straight men were the majority of offenders. And Nicky would never choose a man like that.
The longer Janice remained silent, the more Billiam squirmed.
“Bill,” she said softly, surprising him. He thought she was going to really give him hell; she’d told him how much she liked Greg. “Imagine five years from now that Shane comes home to us to introduce us to his boyfriend–”
“You think Shane is gay?” Billiam stuttered in shock.
Janice turned to look at him, her green eyes bright. “Let’s pretend for a minute,” she said. “So he comes home and brings a boyfriend. We welcome the boyfriend with open arms. And say that Chris is there and maybe he’s married and his wife is upset, disgusted. She says their kids can’t be around Shane and his boyfriend.”
“Shane touches his boyfriend’s hand and the girl leaves our house, taking her children with her. How would you feel?”
“No one does that to my son,” Billiam growled. “Fuck! What an asshole I was. Just because I don’t want to kiss Greg… or any other man…”
“Good,” approved Janice. “You better only be wanting to kiss me.”
“I do, honey,” Billiam said, pausing to kiss her. “Okay, I get the point. But I’ve never really seen men kiss, other than really flamboyant types when I was a cop. I guess I just… Nick always seemed so straight… I just never…”
“Nick and Greg are not flamboyant at all. And even if they were, would that make them immoral or bad?”
“I guess I just felt… embarrassed…” Billiam admitted, feeling even more ashamed. “I guess I kinda overreacted…”
“And how would you like it if someone treated our son that way, as if he were disgusting? It’s not as if this is a choice and Nick decided to be gay. He was born this way.”
“You really believe that?” Billiam asked doubtfully.
“I do, and from what I’ve read, there’s research to support that thesis,” Janice answered.
“How do I… get comfortable with this?” Billiam asked humbly.
“Nick was raised the same as the rest of you, you know he’s not going to do anything too intimate in public. They have to be careful everywhere they go, especially at work. They have to watch how they touch and even how they look at each other. Wouldn’t it be nice if they felt comfortable enough to relax when they’re here? All I know is that if you want to see your brother, you’d be wise to welcome Greg with open arms.”
Billiam nodded absently, his mind chasing back to their son. “So, you think Shane…?”
“I’m not sure yet,” Janice said with a soft smile. “If he is…?”
“He’s our son,” Billiam said firmly. “It makes no difference.” It was amazing how much better it made him feel. He felt prepared to watch Nick make out with Greg if that’s what it took to get comfortable with this. No way was he ever going to make this mistake again, especially not with his own brother… or son. He suddenly understood his mother’s willingness to allow Nick to stay in the same room with Greg and he was shaken by the realization of just how much courage it must have taken for Nick and Zo’e to announce that they were gay to their family.
How terrified Nick must have been when he’d decided to do this, Billiam thought. And I was not a big help. He sighed and Janice patted his hand, she probably knew just what he was thinking, she always seemed to.
“You go, bro!”
Billiam turned to find his youngest sister standing behind him and gave her a rueful smile. “Hey, Zo’e. Did you come to tell me what a jerk I am?”
“No,” Zo’e said, climbing up and swinging her leg over the top rail of the fence. “Came to hug my big brother and tell him he’s a great guy.”
“Thanks, sis,” Billiam whispered into her hair.
Zo’e gave Janice the thumb’s up over his shoulder and mouthed, ‘Nice work’.
~*~
After eating their picnic lunch, Nick helped Jen repack the basket. “I’m going to head back to the house,” she said. “Greg, you might want to get some rest. We’re taking the kids on a trail ride, so it should be pretty quiet this afternoon.”
Greg nodded meekly, looking subdued.
Accurately assessing what was on his mind, Jen said, “Don’t worry, it won’t be awkward. I’ll bet you anything my sisters have been busy with a rear guard mop up operation.”
Greg solemnly pumped his fist in the air. “Girl power!”
Jen laughed and imitated the gesture. “Girl power rules! Men are such naïve tools, thinking they rule the world.” She picked up the basket and walked down the path, waving her hand without looking back at them before the bend hid her from view.
Greg seemed drowsy and Nick was content to hold him as they listened to the sounds of the creek and the birds singing in the trees. It was warm and it felt nice to hold Greg outdoors. Sometimes when they went to Lake Mead at night, they would cuddle under a blanket because the desert nights were cold, no matter what time of year it was. But try as he might, Nick couldn’t recall ever touching Greg in the sunlight except for the occasional manly clap on the back when he was absolutely sure no one was looking.
A soft snore made him look down and he chuckled quietly to see Greg was asleep in his arms. He looked tired, but so young and innocent when he was asleep. His mouth was open and he breathed softly through his parted lips. Greg could look sinfully wicked when he was awake, but never more seductive to Nick than when he was completely relaxed and peaceful. Deciding that a soft mattress would be more comfortable than the rock, Nick shook his boyfriend gently.
“Ready to go back to the house, babe?”
“Mmmm.” Greg stretched and sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
Nick stood up, bringing Greg to his feet, watching to be sure that any dizziness had passed. Greg had dark smudges under his eyes but he seemed okay, other than looking a little nervous. “Don’t worry, babe. You don’t need to talk to anyone right away. And trust the girls, they’ll have everyone who needs to know, knowing whatever they need to know and acting right.”
“I sure would obey if Jen gave me my marching orders.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to cross any of them, including Janice.” Nick gave a pretend shudder and held out his hand. “C’mon, babe.”
Startled, Greg allowed Nick to take his hand and they walked slowly down the path, hand in hand, bumping shoulders gently as they walked.
~*~
When they arrived at the house, Nick could tell by the way Greg squeezed his hand that he was still nervous about running into anyone so he led him to the front door figuring that if anyone was about they’d be in the kitchen. Nick held Greg’s hand all the way to the bedroom but they saw no one.
“Okay, babe, time for a nap. Lie down here for an hour or so.”
“I’m fine,” Greg insisted. “You don’t have to fuss over me.”
“Yeah, you always have those dark circles under your eyes and get the shakes after you walk up a flight of stairs. Come on, G, I’ll lie down with you.”
“I’m not tired.” Greg’s mouth gaped open in a huge yawn.
“I am. Humour me, G. Come on.” Nick kicked off his boots and jeans, going around to the other side of the bed to help Greg. He pulled the young man closer and undid his jeans, sliding them down and pushing Greg to sit while he pulled off his sneakers and socks.
Greg yawned again and surrendered to Nick’s embrace, letting his boyfriend pull him down onto his side and curl around him. He felt strong arms circle his waist and snuggled back against Nick, closing his eyes.
Nick felt Greg relax in his arms and breathed a sigh of relief.
~*~
Nick woke up an hour later, still holding Greg. He stretched, easing himself out from under his boyfriend. Nature was calling.
When he returned, Greg hadn’t moved. He looked completely dead to the world so Nick pulled on his jeans and decided to have a look around and see what the others were doing.
He left Greg sleeping and wandered out onto the front porch. He turned at the sound of the screen door banging.
“Zo’e.” He smiled at his sister.
“Nicky,” she came over and put her arms around him. “You gonna talk to Dad?”
Nick hugged her back and nodded. “You heard what happened this morning, huh?”
“Of course, the Stokes grapevine is noted for speed and accuracy.”
“Jen?”
“Yep, and Janice. Actually I heard Janice reaming Billiam, in the nicest possible way, of course, about being a twat earlier. He really feels terrible about it.”
Nick led her over to the hanging swing and they sat down in it together. Zo’e curled her legs under her but Nick left his feet on the floor to give the swing a gentle push whenever it slowed.
“Did Dad have a fit the first time he saw you hug Morgana?”
Zo’e laughed. “Nope, Mom.”
“Really? I just never would have imagined Mom, of all people…” Nick trailed off, shaking his head, trying to picture how his mother had acted. He had a good imagination but that was beyond him.
“Must be a same sex thing. We didn’t throw Dad at all, but from what I heard, he was stupefied seeing you hug Greg. In a way, it’s kind of surprising, I mean, his line of work, man of the world, probably seen a lot of porn in his day…”
Nick shook his head. “Dad would never watch porn.”
Zo’e just laughed and ruffled his hair. “Still so innocent and in your line of work too. You haven’t seen their private stash.”
“Mom? Mom watches porn?”
“Don’t puke on me, Nicky. She watches the soft stuff made for women, the erotica. That’s all they have. Nothing too hard core.”
“Still.” Nick was stunned. He never actually pictured his parents… “I mean, I knew they had sex at least seven times but…”
“Don’t you want to fuck till you’re old and grey?” Zo’e asked with a mischievous grin.
“Well, yeah, but…” Nick was so busy absorbing this new information he didn’t even react to Zo’e’s characteristically forthright choice of words.
“So, our parents are sexual beings too. And take comfort in the fact that if they’re still doing it, they’ve passed on some horny genes to us. We have lots of fabulous sex to look forward to.”
“Yeah, but…”
“You still having trouble thinking about them doing it?”
“Yes!”
“So you can empathize with Dad then, when he had the real thing shoved in his face with no warning. I’ll bet he thought he was prepared, and then found it was a little more than he could swallow. Give him a little time. He’ll get comfortable with it.”
“How long?” Nick demanded.
“I don’t know, Nicky. How long until you’re able to tell Greg you love him in English? How long before society accepts people like us as normal, not some aberration? How long before Greg bears your children?”
“Whaaa–?”
“Just kidding. Things were getting too serious,” Zo’e laughed. “Play nice with Dad and Billiam.” She got up and kissed the top of his head. “I kind of prefer them alive.”
~*~
“Do you want me in there?” Jillian asked.
“That’s up to you and Dad, I’m not going to say anything that I wouldn’t want you to hear,” Nick answered.
“Let’s go,” Jillian said simply.
Bill Sr. was sitting at his desk, staring into space when Nick knocked and poked his head around the door.
“Hey, Dad, can we talk?”
Bill’s head came up slowly and he stared at Nick blankly until his gaze cleared. “Yeah,” he said on a long exhale. “Yeah.”
Jillian went to her husband and gave him a kiss before crossing to a chair by the fireplace. Nick stood in front of the fire, his arms crossed over his chest, watching his father cautiously.
“Um, earlier today, out at the corral, you were behind me, but Jen and Greg both told me that you were… surprised… when I went to… to… kiss… Greg.”
Nick was dying inside; this was embarrassing and painful. His father’s eyes were so haunted, his mouth was turned down and he looked totally miserable. Only his conversation with Zo’e earlier kept Nick from getting angry and storming out. That and his earnest desire not to disappoint Greg. He had to make sure things were comfortable for Greg, he reminded himself.
“I never meant to… shock you… or make you uncomfortable…”
Still Bill Sr. said nothing. Jillian watched and waited; she knew this was not hers to fix. She prayed that the loving man she knew would be able to embrace this aspect of their son, if not she feared the breach that must follow. She missed Nick. In all the time he’d been working in Las Vegas, he’d rarely come home to visit. Jillian wanted her son back. She could see how necessary Greg and Nick were to each other and she wanted them both to feel comfortable enough to visit. But she could only wait and listen.
Finally Bill opened his mouth. “At least you’re the man in the relationship.”
Jillian watched as Nick’s body stiffened. The flash of anger in his eyes boded ill for the outcome, but he managed to control his uncertain emotions.
“Dad, I am a man, but so is Greg. He’s not some feminine version of a man; he’s as strong and as masculine as I am. Hell, he may not be as strong physically, but inside, where it counts, he’s stronger than me. I love him because he is a man.”
A part of Jillian wanted to stand up and applaud Nicky; at last he’d taken a stand. Another part of her wanted to run to Bill, pull his head against her and hold him until he was able to bear this truth.
Bill looked stricken. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…”
“Dad, stop thinking about the… physical stuff. We love each other because of who we are, it’s not all about what we do in bed. I love Greg when we’re doing the laundry or arguing over whose turn it is to take out the trash.”
“Sorry… I’m sorry… I guess I just never pictured…”
Suddenly Nick laughed and Jillian smiled with relief to hear it.
“You know, I was talking to Zo’e earlier and I had a little moment of epiphany about you and Mom; I never pictured… um…” he stopped speaking and coloured. “Listen, I’m not going to do anything… sexual… with Greg in public, no matter where I am. But since I came home, I felt like you guys really understood and accepted us. I felt comfortable.”
“Today Greg mentioned that I never touch him outside my house. Imagine if you could never touch Mom outside this house. Imagine if everywhere you went, people would stare at you and whisper if you held hands or put your arm around her. That’s what our life is like.”
“I kind of hoped that maybe while we were here, it would be okay if I could hug him or kiss him, just like Billiam and all the girls do with their spouses. Nothing more than that… it’s just… I love him. Sometimes I just want to touch him.”
Nick stopped speaking. His father still looked stunned and Nick’s shoulders slumped in defeat, his eyes fixed on the older man. He wasn’t looking at Jillian, but his mother’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears of pride. For him.
Just as Nick was about to turn and walk out of the room in defeat, Bill straightened his shoulders and looked his son in the eyes.
“I’m a fool,” Bill said, with a faint smile.
Jillian couldn’t contain herself, she leaped to her feet and clapped her hands. “Bravo!”
Bill laughed. “Your mother is always so positive whenever I announce I’ve been a fool. I can always tell just what an ass I’ve been by how enthusiastic her applause is and I guess I was a grand prize, Grade A, blue ribbon, number one asshole this time, Pancho.”
“You mean it, Cisco?”
“I– I could have used a little warning. Maybe you could kind of ease into it…?”
“Like hold hands for a while first?” Nick asked with a hopeful grin.
“Yeah, that would work. Maybe by the time you boys leave, you could work me up to being okay if you kiss?”
“I can handle that,” Nick agreed.
Jillian stood up and went to her husband. “I’m proud of you, dear.” She sat on her husband’s lap, amused to see Nick’s expression go from stunned to manfully bearing up under the shock to gratified acceptance.
“Sit, Nicky, I want to tell you something,” Jillian ordered.
Nick took the chair by the fireplace.
“Zo’e may have told you that I had the same problem when I first saw her with Morgana.”
Nick nodded, enthralled by her face. After several days here, he’d become aware of a serene aura around Jillian, a kind of acceptance that was new. She’d always been a calm woman, but somehow she seemed more centered now, confident.
“Of course, my children are perfect, so Morgana had to be the evil seductress who lured Zo’e into a deviant lifestyle, right?” Jillian giggled. “Then I met Morgana. Turns out it was Zo’e who seduced her and Morgana is just as funny, bright and outspoken as Zo’e. I liked her, but I refused to give in to it.”
“Then I saw them holding hands and I almost had a cow right there. I whisked myself out of the room, hoping that I hadn’t made a big deal of it, but of course I had and everyone knew. I’m just lucky Zo’e didn’t decide to come after me herself. It was Helena who cornered me and asked who died. That put it into proportion for me.”
“But were you disgusted by seeing them?” Nick asked curiously, feeling almost as if he was conducting an investigation.
“More… uncomfortable, I’d say. Helena asked why and I had to admit that I was picturing them in bed. She then asked me to picture her and David in bed.” Jillian sighed. “That was a wake up call. I would never have dreamed of doing that with any of my other children, so why did it become such a problem for me with Zo’e and Morgana?”
Nick smiled. “Because you’re not used to the concept?”
Jillian nodded. “And can I learn? I passed the bar exam, learned to drive and figured out your grandmother Stokes’s secret recipe for Christmas cookies, so yes, I think I can put a little effort into learning to accept that one of my kids is gay. Or even two, three or however many. You and Greg are made for each other and I would be very proud if one day you felt comfortable enough that you didn’t think twice before reaching out to him whether we’re watching or not.”
“Dad?” Nick turned to his father.
“Your mother put it better than I ever could, but I’m willing to learn if you’ll be patient me,” Bill said humbly.
Nick sighed. “You’ll have to help me too, when I get upset. I’ve been ignoring Greg, taking him for granted. When you said I was the man in the relationship, I was acting that out last night but it isn’t true at all. Please don’t say anything like that in front of him, will you?”
“I’m sorry, Nicky. I realized as soon as I said it that it was hurtful and stupid.” Bill looked up regretfully at his tall son as Nick stood. “Do you want me to apologize to Greg?”
“Not for that, don’t bring it up. He doesn’t need to deal with that as well,” Nick said with a smile. “If you could apologize for this morning, though, that would mean a lot, he’s kind of upset about it. He’s afraid you’re mad at him.”
“Of course,” Bill said. “I really didn’t mean… And Nick, I want you to feel comfortable in your home, so if you want to… to kiss… or hold hands… you will, won’t you?”
“I’ll have to see if I can talk Greg into it, he’s a little skittish right now. And, thanks, Dad,” Nick said and slipped from the room. He wanted to see if Greg was awake yet.
“Oh Jilly, I blew it. I never meant to hurt them, either one of them,” Bill said.
“I know dear. It’ll be all right.” Jillian kissed her husband and they sat in silence, holding each other.
~*~
Nick walked out of his father’s den, with a strange sensation of hanging suspended in air, like the time he tried hang gliding. His parents’ acceptance just added to the unreality he’d been experiencing ever since he was kidnapped, but at least this feeling was a good one. He was planning to avail himself of the permission to touch Greg as soon as possible and accordingly, he took the stairs two at a time. He couldn’t wait to tell Greg how it went with his father.
Greg was still peacefully asleep and Nick was grateful; he’d worried that when he went downstairs Greg might have a nightmare. He’d certainly had enough stress that day. Nick had noticed that stress seemed to bring on the nightmares. Sometimes he would initiate sex when he knew the younger man was anxious, hoping to wear Greg out so he’d sleep soundly, not that Nick ever needed an excuse to make love to his boyfriend.
He checked his watch, still a couple of hours till dinner, so strictly speaking Greg didn’t need to wake up right away. Nick crawled onto the bed and propped his chin in both hands, settling in to watch the younger man sleep. Awake, Greg was always moving, laughing, talking, lots of talking. When he walked he bounced on his toes as if his source of energy was inexhaustible, always ready with a quip or a joke, no matter what the subject was. Nothing roused the tenderness in Nick like watching Greg sleep; it was such a contrast to his usual frenetic self.
As if Greg felt his comforting presence, he drew in a deep breath and turned toward Nick, curling in against him. He sighed again and made a couple little smacking noises, which made Nick laugh quietly under his breath. Finally his lashes fluttered and he opened his eyes. He looked at Nick blankly for a moment and then smiled.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Nick answered. He wiggled closer and bent his head for a kiss. He was completely surprised by Greg’s reaction; he recoiled and rolled away, flailing wildly for balance at the edge of the bed before falling off. Nick looked over the side to see Greg sprawled on the floor, rubbing his ass ruefully.
“What was that all about?” he asked mildly.
“Sorry… sorry Nick. I guess, after this morning, I just don’t want anyone to hear us… do anything…”
Greg looked so uncomfortable and so apologetic that Nick took pity on him and hauled him back up onto the bed.
“Well, no one’s up here right now if that makes you feel any better.”
“I can’t,” Greg hissed. “I wasn’t thinking about it before… but God, your parents! Your brother, what if they heard us…?”
“They’re not gonna get mad, Greg. In fact, I think you’re going to be overwhelmed with apologies when you go downstairs. My dad is going to say he’s sorry. I haven’t seen Billiam yet but Zo’e assures me he’s been properly chastised by Janice and is really sorry for the way he acted.”
“God.” Greg rolled his eyes up. “I’d almost rather they’d just let it go. It’s like making more of a big deal over it, you know?”
Nick carefully put an arm around the younger man, relieved when Greg leaned into his embrace. “I feel like I keep asking for your understanding and generosity; like it’s always you that has to give, but if you could find it in your heart to allow them to make it up to you… I’d be… very grateful. I know my dad thinks he’s been an ass, he announced that.”
Nick grinned and recounted the scene in the den, heartened by Greg’s smile when he reached the part where Jillian stood up and cheered.
“Zo’e thinks they watch soft porn?” Greg asked in disbelief.
“She says she gave them some, so I guess she would know,” Nick shuddered. “I just don’t want to think about my parents getting busy in the bedroom.”
“Yeah, I know, I still can’t believe my parents didn’t hatch me out of a test tube,” Greg grinned. The irony of it struck him. “Your dad must have been picturing us…”
“Yeah, he was,” Nick agreed. “My mom kind of put it into a different light for all of us. And by the time I left, dad was practically begging for us to kiss or hold hands at will.” He paused, watching Greg’s troubled face. “They really want us to be comfortable here. They want you to be comfortable.”
Greg rolled onto his face and groaned. “Great, and now I feel more uncomfortable than ever. I have to face everyone and listen to them flounder. I feel how a cockroach must with Grissom hovering over him, urging him to the finish line.”
“Don’t worry, you’re much cuter than a cockroach,” Nick said consolingly, running a hand over Greg’s back. He felt the scars through the thin t-shirt, knowing right where they were.
“Thanks, I think,” Greg mumbled into the bedspread.
“Come on, it won’t be so bad. I’m sure Dad doesn’t want to draw any more attention to it than you do. Why don’t you get a shower and we’ll go downstairs. The kids’ll be back from their ride and we’ll have dinner and everything will be fine.”
“Okay,” Greg agreed. “But you’re going to owe me.”
“Anything,” Nick promised rashly.
“Even a visit to my parents?” Greg rolled over with a twinkle in his eye.
“You wouldn’t!”
“Don’t test me,” Greg teased.
“The only thing keeping you safe from an all out tickle attack right now is my knowledge that you’d like that even less than I would,” Nick said with mock severity.
“You know me too well,” Greg groaned.
~*~
While Greg took his shower Nick went downstairs, giving him time to collect his thoughts. After he’d finished dressing Greg decided to spike his hair for once. He’d taken to leaving it more natural at work, trying to look more conservative now that he was a CSI, but Nick really liked it spiky, so he spent time and product to achieve an appropriately elevated result.
Of course, he realized he was stalling. The longer he spent on his hair, the less time there would be for anyone to make a big thing of this morning. He wished he could just slip into the background and everyone could pretend it never happened and they were one big happy family. Then he and Nick could go home.
When Greg finally emerged from the room he was sharing with Nick, he’d admitted to himself that his hair was perfect; he was just nervous about talking to anyone about what had happened with Nick’s father and brother at the corral.
He stopped short at the head of the stairs. Five smiling faces were upturned to his, all beautiful and reminiscent of Nick. Each of Nick’s sisters occupied the stair directly under her photograph and they were clearly lying in wait for him.
Greg thought, ‘Jen wasn’t kidding about running the gauntlet.’
He sighed in resignation. “Okay, how do you want to do this?”
“Sit with me, Greg,” Lily said, patting the stair above hers. “We wanted to talk to you and at the end of this, we want you to have no doubt about how we feel toward you.”
He sat and she touched his face.
“Mom told us a long time ago, before she knew about you, that Nicky had someone. And we were all happy for him, he’s been alone so long. I’ve never seen Nicky as happy as he is with you. I think he’d been denying things for a long time until he met you.” She smiled at him. “Since meeting you, I can see why you wouldn’t be denied. He’d have to be crazy if he’d been able to walk away from you.”
“It had to be hard for Nicky to come back here and tell everyone he’s gay. For his sake, give Dad another chance. Let Nick realize how much we all love him and that it makes no difference to us. Let him have this as a good memory. Dad already loves you, he’ll come around. When we see you again this time next year, everything will be fine, I assure you.”
“Got it. Thanks, Lily.”
She hugged Greg and pulled her legs up, turning so he could scoot down to Vanessa’s level.
Vanessa put her arm around him, feeling the tension in his body.
“Relax, Greg. I know you’re nervous but it’s not Dad’s way to make a big show. He won’t say anything to you in front of everyone. It’ll be okay.”
“Easy for you to say,” Greg mumbled.
“I think I’m safe in saying that we’ve all been there. In a big family, blame gets thrown around and tempers fray. But we always make it up. And Dad has a lot of dignity, he understands pride. He won’t hurt yours.” She understood the look of doubt in Greg’s eyes. “A big family and it just keeps getting bigger. You’re part of our family now.”
“Oh, boy.” Greg blinked rapidly, not really caring how lame his comment sounded. He was touched, though a little embarrassed by this show of support from Nick’s sisters.
“Get down here,” Helena commanded, with her usual smile and Greg scooted down another step. She took his hand in hers and held it while she spoke.
“Don’t get all self conscious on us, kid. We were all watching when you were playing with the kids and you’re a natural with them. Don’t think because Dad had a moment of idiocy that anyone here is ignorant enough to think you shouldn’t be around our kids. They love you and they’ve been bugging us all day, wanting to know when Uncle Greg was going to come out to play.”
Greg chuckled. “Actually I kind of needed the rest; it’s ten against one, the odds are in their favour.”
Helena laughed. “Yeah, imagine if we could harness all that energy. To hell with the oil companies.” Her smile vanished and she leaned forward. “Don’t get all weird with them. It’s okay if you touch Nick in front of them, it’s okay if you touch the kids.”
“I hope that when my children grow up no one will look twice if two men or two women are walking down the street holding hands. It may be unrealistic, but in order to do what I can to make that happen, I want my children to be so used to it, they never think to question it. Zo’e and Morgana hold hands and kiss, and my kids are used to it. I want them to think that it’s normal,” she paused and lifted Greg’s chin so he had to look her right in the eye, “because it is.”
Greg was stunned. “Wow, I don’t think anyone ever said anything nicer to me.”
“I trust you,” Helena responded.
The other four women nodded in agreement as she spoke. Helena hugged Greg and released him.
Without lifting his butt, he slid to the next step where Jen sat.
“Did you get some rest today? You look better,” Jen said, putting her hand on his forehead.
Feeling mothered, Greg submitted to her appraisal and joked, “Yes, doctor, Nicky put me down for a nap and I slept for a couple of hours.”
“Good boy,” Jen approved. “Listen, I’m not going to ask you to be kind to Dad and Billiam because I know you will be. You’ll be nice to them just because you’re a sweet guy and you’ll allow them to say what they need to. They’ll walk away and feel good about themselves. Their guilt will die down over time and eventually they’ll forget that this ever happened. They’ll love you so much you’ll just be part of the family.”
“What I’m afraid of is that you won’t forget. I’ve watched Nicky as fear and doubt scarred him as surely as all the stupid faggot jokes and ignorant comments. I can see the scars life has dealt you too. Don’t let this be one of them. Let it go. It was a mistake, painful for you and for them. It wasn’t about you, it was all about them. Let it go.”
Greg nodded, unable to speak. Her words hit him harder than she knew and he had to swallow a couple of times.
Zo’e was waiting on the last step while the other sisters migrated downward to watch.
“I’ve got your back, kid,” Zo’e said. “I’m the only one here in the same boat as you. I know this whole kidnapping thing hit you hard and you’re a little off balance right now. I know you live in the closet because Nick’s not out yet. It’s tougher for two guys. Some people around here still think Morgana is just my roommate.”
“In your dreams, Zo’e,” Vanessa teased.
“Hey, it could happen. And I wasn’t talking about you guys, I’m just thinking about my next high school reunion,” Zo’e retorted with a wicked grin before turning back to Greg. “Anyway, just remember, you’re not alone. I’ve got your back, hon.”
Greg was touched as Zo’e gave him a final hug, but being a guy, he didn’t want to get all mushy over it. He did want to express his gratitude for their wholehearted support; it meant more to him than they could have known.
Under his reluctance to meet Nick’s father again, a little fear had been lurking; he dreaded Nick’s family watching him around the kids or pointedly looking away when he and Nick were near each other. Somehow Nick’s sisters had assuaged his anxiety. It made such a difference to know they accepted him and hell, even thought he was good and good enough for Nick.
He stood up and faced them. “You girls are the bomb,” was the profound sentiment that came out of his mouth. “Oops, I meant cool and the gang, yo.”
Jen rolled her eyes. “God, you’ve been hanging with Chris and Shane, they’re rubbing off on you.”
Helena stepped over her sisters and hugged Greg. “Not so fast, kid, your Hallmark moment isn’t over yet.”
Zo’e sprang up to join her. “Get him, girls!”
The Stokes sisters came off the stairs and crowded around him, surrounding him in an enthusiastic group hug.
Nick came around the corner and sighed in resignation. “Honestly, I can’t leave you alone for a minute. Women, Greg? And not just one woman, but five? Am I not enough for you or did you find it necessary to put my sisters under the spell of the Famous Sanders Charm?”
“Well, it does take five of them to replace you,” Greg pointed out a little breathlessly as he emerged from the group hug. “And it’s not like I’m cheating on you.”
Nick shook his head sadly. “If only I could be sure of that.”
Zo’e whispered to Greg with a mischievous expression and he shook his head vehemently. She shrugged to her giggling sisters, obviously employing some form of telepathic communication and together, they kept their grip on Greg, shuffling him in Nick’s direction, sucking their baby brother into the hug.
“There,” said Zo’e. “This is how it ought to be.”
“Yeah,” Greg whispered, as Nick took him into his arms and held him close.
TBC
*Guide to the Stokes siblings:
Billiam is Nick’s oldest brother. Billiam was a cop, now a lawyer, and is married to Janice. They have two children: Chris, 14 and very cool and Shane, 13, working on his coolness.
Lily is the next sister; she’s a reporter and writer. She’s married to Martin who is in the FBI. They have two children: a son, Danny, who is 11 and a daughter, 10, Jasmine.
Vanessa is a forensic anthropologist, married to Patrick who is a cop. They have two kids, a daughter, Claire, 12, and a son, Eric, 8.
Helena is a lawyer and free lance writer and is married to David who is a professional chef. They have two children, a son Jeff, 12, and a daughter, Nikki, who is 9.
Jen is married to Brian; they are both doctors. They have two children, a daughter Rowan, 11 and a son, Connor, 10.
Zo’e is an interior designer and her partner Morgana, is the national sales director for a company that manufactures cheerleader uniforms.
Nick is the youngest and his partner is Greg. (As if you didn’t know.)
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Date: 2006-06-15 05:36 am (UTC)I was only thinking about this story yesterday and wishing that there was another chapter! It's given me the warm fuzzies which is something I really needed, lovely ending to this part.
Btw, I really love this story. Hehe :)
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Date: 2006-06-28 12:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-15 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-28 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-15 02:13 pm (UTC)This was (as usual) a good one! I can't believe there was an update on Baby Steps and Don't fence me in on the same day! How was I supossed to concetrate on boring work?
It is amazing how you are able to describe it from so many point of views... Yeah, it can be hard for kids to imagine their parents as well.. (ugh... don't put that picture in my head. I was picked up at the post office!!! Hehe)
And it would be hard for parents to picture their kids as well, and... yeah - you did get the point through...
And in the end - giving time is the important thing here. Nick's father needs time... He is making an efford, he just need time. I am so happy they were able to talk about it.
And I love the conversation beween Billiam and his wife... to turn the situation to your children, it puts it in a different perpective, and you see your own actions in a different light.
I am sure of one thing - my (soon to be) daughter will never come home and tell us she is a lesbian, because that is something we (well mostly me) has been talking so much about and will be totally okay with. She will probably find something else that will totally throw us off! Hehe..
Go girl power!!!
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Date: 2006-06-28 12:31 am (UTC)Yeah, the whole picturing other people having sex can lead to some serious repercussions. It's one thing if you're just a voyeur but they were having problems wth it. And the good thing is it enabled everyone to see the other's point of view, always a good thing. (Except maybe with serial killers.) I didn't think it would be realistic if Bill Sr. just was suddenly ok with finding out Nick was gay, meeting his boyfriend and seeing them kiss. He's willing, he just isn't used to it. And he was honest, even if he was an ass. And for Greg's sake, Nick hung in there and talked and got a good result, I think.
If only everyone could turn the situation to their own children maybe being gay would get a whole lot easier. I know there are parents out there who simply condemn their kids, but look at Cheney. His daughter is gay and even tho he shoots people in the face on canned hunts and drinks the blood of puppies for breakfast, he's for gay marriage. If it works for him, it would work for anyone.
Congratulations! I didn't know you were pregnant. I don't have kids (alas) but if ever I did, I sure wouldn't give a rat's ass if they were gay as long as they were healthy and happy. And I'm sure she will find something else to throw you off. Isn't that what kids are for? :-D
Thank you, I always love your thoughtful comments. Loves.
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Date: 2006-06-15 02:54 pm (UTC)I wanna be a part of that family as well *whinning*.
Somehow I can feel for Greg, cause for me it is the same when someone is about to apologize to me for whatever he did. I don't really feel very comfortable with that either.
I love Nick's dad, when he says 'AT least you're the man in that relationship'. I know it might be not that funny, but somehow he's right. Greg IS some sort of girly and more in touch with his...ahm...female site. Okay he still is a guy. ANd I love Zo'e, and the conversation she has with Nick. I think no one really wants to picture hos own parents doing it, and then the porn. Oh poor Nicky.
It's interesting to see the other 'face' of Jillian when she tells Nick about her problems which she had with Morgana and Zo'e, since you wouldn't have thought that. This is such a beautiful story, and I love the Stokes family.
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Date: 2006-06-28 12:42 am (UTC)It isn't funny that Nick's father said that but it's a true thing. I think men get hit in their masculinity when they find out their son is gay, like somehow that makes him not manly. It's a stupid thing to say, but I just couldn't believe he could take all of this in and be okay with it right away. At least he's willing to try. Oh, do you think Greg is girly? I don't, I think he's all male, just more in touch with his feminine side. Oh the porn. I would die if my parents watched it but it's ok because I know they don't. Jillian tells that story because she isn't perfect and she knows it, which sort of makes her closer to perfect in my opinion. We all make snap judgments at times and they're not always right, but at least she can recognize the problem and work on it. I really have a hard time with parents who can't make any effort to accept their kids as they are instead of as they want them to be.
Thank you, sweetie. I'm so glad you like it. Loves. :-D
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Date: 2006-06-15 04:14 pm (UTC)I like that Nick stood up to his dad. Setting him straight on his love for Greg.
I just love it when Nick takes care of Greg. Getting him to take a nap was just so sweet and heartfelt. And I really like picturing Greg sleep.
And go girls in the family! Just the way it should be. Girls putting the men in place after being asses. The talk on the stairs and the group hug was just so cute.
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Date: 2006-06-28 12:45 am (UTC)Love the girls! All the sisters are fashioned after an online friend and I love them all. Girls know all, see all, they just don't always grab their power like they should. I'm so glad you liked the girls and the talk and the hug. I'm just loving these Stokes sisters. Thank you very much!