Written for my Secret Santa at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
secretsantafic
Jan. 17th, 2006 05:41 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Greg’s Stocking Stuffer’s
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Author: godgaleshot
Written For: moodymuse19
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Greg is feeling bummed about Christmas and then something happens that makes it all better.
Spoilers: Up to and including Season Five. Especially the episodes; ‘Grave Danger’ and ‘Room Service’.
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything but the story. I used to own the paper it was printed on but that now belongs to moodymuse19 :(
Website: http://home.iprimus.com.au/pike03/
Greg, who was usually known around the lab as ‘The Crazy Little Christmas Elf’, had lost his Christmas spirit this year. Having the man you love abducted and buried alive could do that to you. But that wasn’t the whole problem. Greg was worried about Nick, he seemed to be recovering okay but Greg thought Nick might be putting on a brave face for his benefit.
But the main thing that was totally destroying Greg’s normal ‘happy go lucky’ attitude was the memory of Nick when they pulled him out of the ground. Greg had so desperately wanted to go to him, hold him, kiss him but instead he was forced to wait until his shift was over and go with the rest of the team to the hospital. Then to have to stand in that hospital room with Nick’s parents and everyone else and not be able to reach out and touch Nick at all was an extremely cruel punishment for someone who felt like they had already been beaten and broken beyond the limits of their control.
When they first got together two years ago they had agreed to keep their relationship secret for the sake of their careers and...well just to avoid all those awkward questions and the lab gossip it was sure to invoke. They also had to think about the cases they would work in the future, and their personal involvement; they didn’t want their relationship to provide a reason for an opposing attorney to cast doubt on their findings.
Greg ached to be able to touch Nick whenever the mood moved him; he wanted to share their love with their friends. He was sick of hiding it from everyone but he didn’t know how to talk to Nick about the strength of his feelings on the matter. Nick seemed different to Greg now since his abduction. He was no longer the invincible man that Greg had always seen him as. Now Greg knew that Nick could be hurt, broken, be taken away from him and he wasn’t sure he knew how to live with that knowledge.
Greg had no answers to all the questions that kept swimming around in his brain, which made it really difficult for him to share with Nick, what was wrong with him. He couldn’t just blurt out that he wanted them to come out to all their co-workers and friends...hell even their families, because if Nick wasn’t ready before he probably wouldn’t be ready now either. Greg really didn’t want to push Nick after all he had been through, so instead he kept it all to himself by bottling up all his feelings.
Work had become all Greg had, because the more he bottled his feelings the more Nick seemed to be slipping away from him. It had gotten so bad that Greg was having trouble touching Nick when they were alone together. He knew that Nick didn’t know what was going on but the longer Greg left it to talk to Nick about what he wanted, the harder it was becoming.
Greg didn’t want to become one more burden for Nick to carry but he just couldn’t seem to break out of the funk that had ensnared him. All he wanted was to be held by Nick and yet all he could do was run. Greg had become the king of avoiding things. Sara had tried talking to him, but he couldn’t tell her about why he was hurting so much because he couldn’t tell her about Nick, and without Nick nothing made sense anyway.
So Greg went to work, he went home and he avoided Nick. And that was all he did everyday. He knew it was wrong and he knew that Nick didn’t understand but Greg had gone so far from himself that he didn’t know how to find his way back.
* * *
Nick knew that his abduction had changed Greg on some deep level but he didn’t know how to approach him to talk about it. Whenever he tried to ask Greg if he was okay, Greg always said that he was ‘fine’ and then he changed the subject but it was becoming more and more obvious that the one thing Greg wasn’t was ‘fine’.
The bright vibrant light that usually illuminated from inside Greg and had first attracted Nick to him had disappeared. Greg was all ‘The Grinch’ about Christmas this year and in all the years Nick had known Greg he had never seen him act so strange...well strange for Greg.
Greg was known for going a little crazy around the Festive Season. In the five years he had worked in the lab, he had organised a version of the Secret Santa gift-giving scheme where he hung up stockings with everyone’s name attached to one, so people could give each other secret gifts. Most were joke presents given to remind each other that amongst all the murder and mayhem there were friends if you needed them. Private jokes between the lab staff and the CSI’s were perpetuated by many of the gifts given.
It was actually how Greg first let Nick know that he liked him. Nick had become used to their routine of flirting and...well he guessed that it would have been foreplay but at that time he never would have dreamed that Greg might actually feel the same way about him. Nick just knew that he looked forward to visiting Greg in the lab and their easy banter. He had even gotten used to the suggestive gifts that Greg would stuff into his stocking. At first he had been shocked and a little embarrassed at least until he discovered that he wasn’t the only one who got these type of suggestive gifts from Greg in their stocking, in fact Greg was notoriously known for them. Sara called them ‘Greg’s Stocking Stuffer’s’, they ranged from wind-up jumping penises to double ended dildo’s.
If it had been anyone else but Greg stuffing these outrageous items in the stockings they would have been put up on sexual harassment charges but everyone knew that he was just joking around and he expected the same in turn. The only person who didn’t quite get Greg’s gifts was Grissom; every year at the lab Christmas party he thanked his Secret Santa’s for all of his gifts and he could often be seen using them during the year. Nick really smiled for the first time in a long time as he remembered how last year Greg had given Grissom a pair of edible undies in his stocking. Sara had found Grissom a few weeks later eating them in the break room.
Greg had been so weird for so long but Nick had been hoping that Christmas would snap him out of it, but if anything it had only made him worse. Greg was working a ton of overtime in the lab for Ecklie, which was making Nick crazy. He never got to see Greg these days and even if Greg had changed, all Nick wanted to do was be with him, he didn’t care that he was angry or upset he just wanted to be able to hold him again. It seemed like the only time Nick got to spend any time with Greg was when they were both at work and because of their stupid agreement they couldn’t even really be together when they actually found themselves in the same room.
It didn’t matter really because Greg appeared to be doing his best to avoid Nick as much as he could, even at work Nick found that when he entered a room that Greg was working in, Greg immediately left as soon as he could.
* * *
It was two days before Christmas and Nick although sympathetic to the fact that Greg was obviously going through something; he was becoming more and more pissed off. He wanted his lover back, his friend...his partner. He wanted to see Greg smile, grin or damn even cry just as long as he shared it with Nick. Nick had reached his limit, he needed Greg and he needed him now.
While working a murder case with Warrick, Nick was reminded once again of the Christmas when he and Greg first got together. For the first time in four years Nick had not received a gift in his stocking from Greg and he had been close to shattered. Pulling a double shift on Christmas Eve, Nick had been near to losing his mind. He had missed his flight home and to top it all off he had not gotten his usual suggestive gift from Greg. Deciding to check his stocking one more time before he headed home to his empty apartment, Nick had caught Greg thrusting something deep inside his stocking.
“Wait!” Nick said when Greg tried to flee. Reaching his hand into the stocking he was surprised just to find a single piece of paper. Pulling it out he looked at Greg before unfolding the paper. At first the words written there swam out of focus. Nick had to read them several times before he could look at Greg again. Scrawled across the paper in Greg’s loopy handwriting were seven little words: ‘I think I’m in love with you.’
Reaching out Nick had to grab a hold of Greg’s chin to make him meet his own eyes. “Is this a joke?” Nick managed to get out.
“I...” Greg for once in his life seemed lost for words.
“What the fuck is this? Why would you do this? Am I that much of a joke to you?” Nick could feel himself getting red in the face.
Greg backed away slowly from Nick pulling out of his grasp. “I...I...it’s not a joke...I...didn’t know...I...didn’t think...you weren’t meant to see me put it in there...”
“So I was just meant to keep guessing whom it was from? Your idea of Yule time torture?” Nick’s voice had gotten really gruff all of a sudden.
“I needed to tell you, but I didn’t actually think that you’d want to know who it was from. I didn’t think you’d care.” Greg said sounding a little more in control.
“It’s not a joke? You...?” Nick asked closing the gap between them again.
“It’s not a joke...unless you want it to be?” Greg answered and then hesitated waiting for Nick’s response.
Nick didn’t know what to say but he knew what he wanted. “No. I...don’t want it to be a joke...I want...I want it to be real.”
“You do?” Greg sounded surprised.
“Yes.” Nick’s answer was firm.
“Then I guess...Nick I have something I need to tell you, and I think we should talk.” Greg’s face broke out into a smile and he reached out and took a hold of Nick’s hand.
Nick returned Greg’s smile, “I have something to tell you too.”
“You wanna go first?” Greg asked.
Nick took a deep breath to fortify himself before speaking. “Okay. I think I might be in love with you too.”
“That’s a good thing ‘cause I want you.” Greg confessed as he pressed his body flush with Nick’s in the empty hallway.
“I ache for you.” Nick whispered as he brushed his lips against Greg’s.
They had spent the entire Christmas weekend in bed only leaving it to get food and shower…together, of course. When they went back to work they agreed to keep their relationship a secret, but when Nick was lying in his hospital bed aching to feel Greg’s arms around him all of their reasons for that agreement seemed void of importance. He had wanted to shout at everyone who had come to visit him including his parents. He had wanted to tell them all to get out and leave him and Greg alone but just when he thought he might actually do it, Greg left. Leaving Nick surrounded by people he loved and who loved him but he was left completely alone without Greg’s presence.
The fact that Greg had not hung up the lab’s stockings saddened Nick more than he cared to think about. Strengthening his resolve to fix the gaping hole that had formed between the two of them, Nick used his break to hang the lab’s stockings. It was the only thing he could think of that might reach Greg.
* * *
Greg had been in the lab for most of his shift. Nick had teased him about being confused as to what his actual job was now, but Greg was just helping out Ecklie until he could find someone else to fill the lab position. They were short-handed and Greg needed to work.
Greg had pretty much been left alone after Nick and Warrick came to see him earlier, so he had gotten a lot of work done in the first part of the shift but it was almost time for a break. Stretching, Greg arched his back to get the kinks out, he was no longer used to sitting at the lab bench for long periods of time. Twisting to the side Greg spotted Nick hanging the lab’s Secret Santa Stockings up. Intrigued he moved closer to the glass wall that separated his lab from the hallway where Nick was busy at work with the stockings.
Nick had his back to him so Greg felt safe spying even though he was in complete view of everyone else in the lab. He watched as Nick hung Greg’s stocking and stopped to stroke the plastic cutout Christmas tree that Greg had added last year. Warrick was heading down the hallway his attention focused on Nick.
“Hey Nick, what you doing man?”
“I thought I’d put up the Secret Santa Stockings...”
“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for Greg to put them up, I’ve been hanging out all year to get him back for that glitter shaped like little dicks he put in my stocking last Christmas. I had that shit stuck to me for weeks and every now and then I still find bits of it, in my clothes and in my bed. I want some payback. Maybe that will snap him out of the funk he’s been in lately. What’s with him anyway? He’s all grumpy and repressed.”
Greg almost smiled when he heard what Warrick had said about the glitter from last year but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. Backing away from the glass wall that separated him from them, he continued to listen to their conversation and watch Nick fondle his stocking.
“Look I can’t talk to you about what’s going on with Greg because I don’t know. He won’t talk to me and I don’t know how to help him if he won’t even spend five seconds in the same room as me!” Nick said in a rush.
“Whoa! Nicky calm down! I’m sure whatever Greg’s problem is it has nothing to do with you, I mean why would it?” Warrick asked, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder.
“I have to get some fresh air. I’ll be back in a minute.” Nick said pushing past Warrick but not before he dropped what looked to Greg like a folded piece of paper into his stocking.
“Sure. I wanted to get a drink anyway I’ll meet you in the break room. Okay?” Warrick asked, obviously unsure of what had Nick so riled up.
“Fine.” Nick muttered as he hurried off in search of fresh air.
* * *
‘Damn it!’ Nick thought. Fuck! He was having a panic attack. He could feel it rising up inside him like a giant wave of water, just waiting to crash over him. Nick had a few panic attacks right after he got home from the hospital but he thought he had managed to put that behind him. Now look at him, he was standing alone in the car park trying to choke down much needed oxygen, on the verge of tears.
Maybe he had made a mistake by putting that note into Greg’s stocking? Maybe Greg didn’t want to be with him anymore and he just didn’t know how to say it? Oh, God! What if Greg didn’t love him anymore?
Nick struggled to shut off his brain. The usually smart organ was doing him no favours right now. Deep down he knew that Greg loved him; he just couldn’t get his head around why it seemed to be so painful for Greg to be anywhere near him.
Nick needed to do something, one of them had to break what was fast becoming a cruel pattern before it ruined their relationship. He needed to do something...but the question was what if it didn’t work?
* * *
Greg decided that he would just take a little peek at the piece of paper that Nick had dropped into his stocking. The significance of the paper was not lost on Greg but he was worried that it might signal something bad. Maybe Nick had finally gotten sick of all his bullshit.
Dipping his fingers gingerly into his stocking, Greg felt something cold and metal and the piece of paper that he had just seen Nick drop inside it. Taking a hold of both the paper and what Greg suspected was some kind of key; he pulled them out of the stocking where he could look at them.
He was right; it was a brass door key on a Gumby key ring. Putting the key in his pocket Greg unfolded Nick’s note and proceeded to read it in the middle of the lab. Greg had to read it three times before the words started to make sense to him.
G,
I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love another person. When I was in that box, it was little things that kept me going. And just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore I just thought about how mad you would be at me if I got myself seriously hurt. And when that stoped working I thought about what you would do if you were in that box with me, and baby you were. You were right there with me the whole time. You never left me. I sang. I don’t know what is going on with you at the moment but I do know one thing, I would rather be with you when you are set on ignoring me and pushing me away than be without you. I love you. I want you. I ache for you, for your touch, for your smile, for your time. So this year my gift to you is a choice, take this key and move in with me, share my life, and let me share your pain. And give me the chance to return to you just a little part of the joy you’ve given me.
I want everyone to know I love you. I want everyone to know that I belong
to you,
Nick
Looking up he spotted Nick talking to Warrick, Catherine and Sara in the break room. Without even realising he had moved he found himself standing in front of Nick. Launching himself into Nick’s arms he locked his lips against Nick’s. It took Greg a few seconds to realise that yes, Nick was kissing him back and when he went to pull away, Nick tightened his hold on Greg.
“So?” Nick asked, when he finally allowed some space between the two of them.
“Okay.” Greg whispered in reply.
“Okay?” Nick wanted to be sure that Greg was sure.
“Yes, okay.” Greg said pulling the Gumby key ring out of his pocket and attaching to his own Pokey key ring, so there could be no mistaking his answer.
Greg happened to catch a glimpse of Grissom’s stunned face as he walked into the break room; just moments before Nick’s mouth came crashing down over his own.
* * *
“Did we know about that?” Grissom asked as he watched Nick and Greg leave the break room together holding hands.
“Umm...” Sara said not really sure how to respond.
“I knew.’ Said Warrick, ‘Well I didn’t know for sure but I suspected.”
“Me too.” Catherine said putting sugar in her coffee.
“Okay if we are confessing, I saw them kiss once in the locker room.” Sara said sitting down next to Catherine who had just started laughing.
“Really?’ Catherine asked, a huge smile plaster to their face. ‘Ditto. I saw them kissing in the locker room too.”
“Okay, check it out, I saw Greg’s car outside Nick’s place for a whole weekend.” Warrick said, joining the others at the table.
“How do you know it was there all weekend?” Sara asked, highly curious.
“Well...umm...I met this girl and she lived on Nicky’s street and Greg’s car was there the whole time I was with her,” Warrick answered, ducking his head a little embarrassed to be discussing his weekend long sexual activities.
“Well I never suspected.” Said Grissom as he took his coffee and made to leave.
“And you call yourself a CSI?” Catherine said with a laugh as Grissom left the room already engrossed in his latest crossword puzzle.
* * *
Christmas Eve
Nick watched as Greg walked into their bedroom from the bathroom. Following he came up behind Greg and tugged at the towel tied at Greg’s waist. Naked and wet was how Nick liked Greg best and if Greg didn’t stop rubbing his naked body against Nick’s clothed one he was never going to get a chance to show him how much. Spinning Greg around, he backed him up against the bed until his legs hit the mattress and Greg sprawled down on top of the quilt. Nick spared no time stripping off his own clothes and grabbing Greg’s ankle, he pulled him towards the edge of the bed almost off and then he flipped him. Bending Greg over the end of the bed, Nick pushed until Greg was forced to crawl up onto the bed.
Licking a line up Greg’s right leg Nick climbed onto the bed behind him. Reaching the little bud that guarded the entrance to Nick’s own private heaven, he swirled his tongue around the rim before dipping inside. Urged on by Greg’s increasing moans, Nick resumed his path up Greg’s body mapping the burn scars with his tongue.
Skimming his hands down Greg’s flank, Nick stopped when he reached Greg’s ass, cupping both cheeks in his hands he emitted a moan of his own. Grabbing a bottle of flavoured lube that Greg had put in his Secret Santa stocking, Nick slicked up his fingers, and then he thrust two of them deep inside Greg, eliciting another moan.
“More,” Greg all but begged.
“Are you sure?” Nick wanted Greg so bad but it had been a while since they had made love like this. This fast, this rough, this desperately.
“God yes!” Greg whimpered as Nick added another finger.
“Are you sure you want this?” Nick asked again, reaching for the bundle of nerves hidden deep inside Greg. Brushing up against them, Greg hissed, pushing back into Nick’s body.
“Fuck yes! I need it! I need you!” Greg tried to twist around so he could see Nick’s face but Nick held him firmly in place.
Satisfied with Greg’s answer he loosened his grip on Greg’s bucking hips. “Then touch me,” Nick replied.
Reaching behind him Greg took a hold of Nick’s erect cock. Using the pre-cum he found coating the head he jacked it tightly in his fist. He had been so afraid that he would never get a chance to touch Nick like this again. Afraid that he would never again feel Nick thrusting inside him. Afraid to hope. To dream.
“Fuck...I want you!” Nick groaned as Greg fisted his cock.
“I want you too,” Greg said twisting to see his face.
“Put a condom on me,” Nick commanded, pressing one into Greg’s free hand but Greg looked at and shook his head.
“Wait!” Greg all but shouted when Nick went to take the condom back.
“What?” Nick asked completely confused.
“Roll over. I wanna see you. I wanna touch you.” Greg said as he moved out of Nick’s reach.
Nick rolled over onto his back unsure of what Greg wanted. Watching as Greg ripped open the condom wrapper, he heard himself hiss as Greg rolled it down his aching cock. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered.
“Mmm.” Greg moaned in unison.
Greg leaned forward to kiss Nick’s mouth. Tongues dancing they moved closer and closer together. Climbing over Nick’s prone body, Greg lowered himself so that he was straddling Nick’s waist. Greg rubbed his hard cock against Nick’s until they were both begging for more. Leaning back Greg once again took a hold of Nick’s aching dick and positioning it at his entrance, he lowered himself slowly onto it until he bottomed out.
Pausing just for a moment, he felt his stomach tighten when Nick’s gaze met his own. And as they both moved close to climax, Greg realised that there was nothing in this world that compared to having Nick inside him chanting his name.
* * *
Christmas Day
“So what’s up G? Why are we here? Lab’s practically empty, it’s Christmas, skeleton crew only.” Nick said following his lover into the almost dead (pardon the pun) offices and labs that usually ruled their lives.
“I have something I need to do. It’s important,” Greg insisted, grabbing a hold of Nick’s hand and pulling him along in his wake.
Greg stopped in front of the Secret Santa stockings and gave Nick one of his patented ‘sneaky up to no good’ grins and winked. Putting his hands into the pockets of his denim jacket he pulled out a shrink-wrapped packet and a tiny vial of something extremely shiny.
“What are you going to do?” Nick asked getting a bad feeling.
“Nothing. Grissom asked me last year if I would give edible undies again this year so he could try a different flavour. He really liked the strawberries ones but look! I found mango flavoured ones! How cool is that?” Greg answered as he dumped the shrink-wrapped packet into Grissom’s stocking.
Moving along the wall until they came to Warrick’s stocking. “No, Greg. Whatever you’re thinking it’s a bad idea.” Nick’s bad feeling was back in full force only when Greg winked at him again as he twisted the top off of the glass vial, Nick found himself grinning right back at Greg. Watching as Greg emptied the entire contents of the vial into Warrick’s stocking, Nick couldn’t help but feel a little bad about his part in the prank on his friend but he was so happy to have his Greggo back that he shook it off. “You know Greg, Warrick’s not dumb enough to just thrust his arm in the stocking, not after last year.”
“I know...’ Greg replied pulling Nick into the locker room. ‘That’s what this is for...” Holding up a second vial of what were unmistakably tiny foil penises, Greg shook them in front of Nick’s face.
Groaning, Nick knew he shouldn’t be surprised; there was nothing that Greg loved doing more than teasing and he had obviously heard Warrick’s boasts to get payback. “I don’t know, Greg... Warrick will be really pissed at you if you tip that sparkly shit in his locker on all his clothes and stuff.”
“I know that’s why you are going to do it.”
“What? No, I’m not!”
“Come on, Nick, you told me you wanted to be partners. You told me that you wanted to share things with me. You promised me joy and this would bring me unlimited amounts of not only joy but also ecstasy.” Greg said batting his long dark eyelashes, but it was his goofy grin that essentially made Nick reach out for the vial and dump the content into Warrick’s locker.
“Shit he’s gonna want my ass for this,” Nick muttered as he threw the empty vial into the trash.
“Nope. Warrick knows that your ass belongs to me,” Greg said before he took off skipping down the hallway and out of the lab singing ‘Jingle Bells’.
Shaking his head for like the millionth time that day, Nick heard himself let out a brief bark of laughter before he reined himself. Breaking into a jog Nick ran after Greg before he could get himself into any more trouble.
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Author: godgaleshot
Written For: moodymuse19
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Greg is feeling bummed about Christmas and then something happens that makes it all better.
Spoilers: Up to and including Season Five. Especially the episodes; ‘Grave Danger’ and ‘Room Service’.
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything but the story. I used to own the paper it was printed on but that now belongs to moodymuse19 :(
Website: http://home.iprimus.com.au/pike03/
Greg, who was usually known around the lab as ‘The Crazy Little Christmas Elf’, had lost his Christmas spirit this year. Having the man you love abducted and buried alive could do that to you. But that wasn’t the whole problem. Greg was worried about Nick, he seemed to be recovering okay but Greg thought Nick might be putting on a brave face for his benefit.
But the main thing that was totally destroying Greg’s normal ‘happy go lucky’ attitude was the memory of Nick when they pulled him out of the ground. Greg had so desperately wanted to go to him, hold him, kiss him but instead he was forced to wait until his shift was over and go with the rest of the team to the hospital. Then to have to stand in that hospital room with Nick’s parents and everyone else and not be able to reach out and touch Nick at all was an extremely cruel punishment for someone who felt like they had already been beaten and broken beyond the limits of their control.
When they first got together two years ago they had agreed to keep their relationship secret for the sake of their careers and...well just to avoid all those awkward questions and the lab gossip it was sure to invoke. They also had to think about the cases they would work in the future, and their personal involvement; they didn’t want their relationship to provide a reason for an opposing attorney to cast doubt on their findings.
Greg ached to be able to touch Nick whenever the mood moved him; he wanted to share their love with their friends. He was sick of hiding it from everyone but he didn’t know how to talk to Nick about the strength of his feelings on the matter. Nick seemed different to Greg now since his abduction. He was no longer the invincible man that Greg had always seen him as. Now Greg knew that Nick could be hurt, broken, be taken away from him and he wasn’t sure he knew how to live with that knowledge.
Greg had no answers to all the questions that kept swimming around in his brain, which made it really difficult for him to share with Nick, what was wrong with him. He couldn’t just blurt out that he wanted them to come out to all their co-workers and friends...hell even their families, because if Nick wasn’t ready before he probably wouldn’t be ready now either. Greg really didn’t want to push Nick after all he had been through, so instead he kept it all to himself by bottling up all his feelings.
Work had become all Greg had, because the more he bottled his feelings the more Nick seemed to be slipping away from him. It had gotten so bad that Greg was having trouble touching Nick when they were alone together. He knew that Nick didn’t know what was going on but the longer Greg left it to talk to Nick about what he wanted, the harder it was becoming.
Greg didn’t want to become one more burden for Nick to carry but he just couldn’t seem to break out of the funk that had ensnared him. All he wanted was to be held by Nick and yet all he could do was run. Greg had become the king of avoiding things. Sara had tried talking to him, but he couldn’t tell her about why he was hurting so much because he couldn’t tell her about Nick, and without Nick nothing made sense anyway.
So Greg went to work, he went home and he avoided Nick. And that was all he did everyday. He knew it was wrong and he knew that Nick didn’t understand but Greg had gone so far from himself that he didn’t know how to find his way back.
Nick knew that his abduction had changed Greg on some deep level but he didn’t know how to approach him to talk about it. Whenever he tried to ask Greg if he was okay, Greg always said that he was ‘fine’ and then he changed the subject but it was becoming more and more obvious that the one thing Greg wasn’t was ‘fine’.
The bright vibrant light that usually illuminated from inside Greg and had first attracted Nick to him had disappeared. Greg was all ‘The Grinch’ about Christmas this year and in all the years Nick had known Greg he had never seen him act so strange...well strange for Greg.
Greg was known for going a little crazy around the Festive Season. In the five years he had worked in the lab, he had organised a version of the Secret Santa gift-giving scheme where he hung up stockings with everyone’s name attached to one, so people could give each other secret gifts. Most were joke presents given to remind each other that amongst all the murder and mayhem there were friends if you needed them. Private jokes between the lab staff and the CSI’s were perpetuated by many of the gifts given.
It was actually how Greg first let Nick know that he liked him. Nick had become used to their routine of flirting and...well he guessed that it would have been foreplay but at that time he never would have dreamed that Greg might actually feel the same way about him. Nick just knew that he looked forward to visiting Greg in the lab and their easy banter. He had even gotten used to the suggestive gifts that Greg would stuff into his stocking. At first he had been shocked and a little embarrassed at least until he discovered that he wasn’t the only one who got these type of suggestive gifts from Greg in their stocking, in fact Greg was notoriously known for them. Sara called them ‘Greg’s Stocking Stuffer’s’, they ranged from wind-up jumping penises to double ended dildo’s.
If it had been anyone else but Greg stuffing these outrageous items in the stockings they would have been put up on sexual harassment charges but everyone knew that he was just joking around and he expected the same in turn. The only person who didn’t quite get Greg’s gifts was Grissom; every year at the lab Christmas party he thanked his Secret Santa’s for all of his gifts and he could often be seen using them during the year. Nick really smiled for the first time in a long time as he remembered how last year Greg had given Grissom a pair of edible undies in his stocking. Sara had found Grissom a few weeks later eating them in the break room.
Greg had been so weird for so long but Nick had been hoping that Christmas would snap him out of it, but if anything it had only made him worse. Greg was working a ton of overtime in the lab for Ecklie, which was making Nick crazy. He never got to see Greg these days and even if Greg had changed, all Nick wanted to do was be with him, he didn’t care that he was angry or upset he just wanted to be able to hold him again. It seemed like the only time Nick got to spend any time with Greg was when they were both at work and because of their stupid agreement they couldn’t even really be together when they actually found themselves in the same room.
It didn’t matter really because Greg appeared to be doing his best to avoid Nick as much as he could, even at work Nick found that when he entered a room that Greg was working in, Greg immediately left as soon as he could.
It was two days before Christmas and Nick although sympathetic to the fact that Greg was obviously going through something; he was becoming more and more pissed off. He wanted his lover back, his friend...his partner. He wanted to see Greg smile, grin or damn even cry just as long as he shared it with Nick. Nick had reached his limit, he needed Greg and he needed him now.
While working a murder case with Warrick, Nick was reminded once again of the Christmas when he and Greg first got together. For the first time in four years Nick had not received a gift in his stocking from Greg and he had been close to shattered. Pulling a double shift on Christmas Eve, Nick had been near to losing his mind. He had missed his flight home and to top it all off he had not gotten his usual suggestive gift from Greg. Deciding to check his stocking one more time before he headed home to his empty apartment, Nick had caught Greg thrusting something deep inside his stocking.
“Wait!” Nick said when Greg tried to flee. Reaching his hand into the stocking he was surprised just to find a single piece of paper. Pulling it out he looked at Greg before unfolding the paper. At first the words written there swam out of focus. Nick had to read them several times before he could look at Greg again. Scrawled across the paper in Greg’s loopy handwriting were seven little words: ‘I think I’m in love with you.’
Reaching out Nick had to grab a hold of Greg’s chin to make him meet his own eyes. “Is this a joke?” Nick managed to get out.
“I...” Greg for once in his life seemed lost for words.
“What the fuck is this? Why would you do this? Am I that much of a joke to you?” Nick could feel himself getting red in the face.
Greg backed away slowly from Nick pulling out of his grasp. “I...I...it’s not a joke...I...didn’t know...I...didn’t think...you weren’t meant to see me put it in there...”
“So I was just meant to keep guessing whom it was from? Your idea of Yule time torture?” Nick’s voice had gotten really gruff all of a sudden.
“I needed to tell you, but I didn’t actually think that you’d want to know who it was from. I didn’t think you’d care.” Greg said sounding a little more in control.
“It’s not a joke? You...?” Nick asked closing the gap between them again.
“It’s not a joke...unless you want it to be?” Greg answered and then hesitated waiting for Nick’s response.
Nick didn’t know what to say but he knew what he wanted. “No. I...don’t want it to be a joke...I want...I want it to be real.”
“You do?” Greg sounded surprised.
“Yes.” Nick’s answer was firm.
“Then I guess...Nick I have something I need to tell you, and I think we should talk.” Greg’s face broke out into a smile and he reached out and took a hold of Nick’s hand.
Nick returned Greg’s smile, “I have something to tell you too.”
“You wanna go first?” Greg asked.
Nick took a deep breath to fortify himself before speaking. “Okay. I think I might be in love with you too.”
“That’s a good thing ‘cause I want you.” Greg confessed as he pressed his body flush with Nick’s in the empty hallway.
“I ache for you.” Nick whispered as he brushed his lips against Greg’s.
They had spent the entire Christmas weekend in bed only leaving it to get food and shower…together, of course. When they went back to work they agreed to keep their relationship a secret, but when Nick was lying in his hospital bed aching to feel Greg’s arms around him all of their reasons for that agreement seemed void of importance. He had wanted to shout at everyone who had come to visit him including his parents. He had wanted to tell them all to get out and leave him and Greg alone but just when he thought he might actually do it, Greg left. Leaving Nick surrounded by people he loved and who loved him but he was left completely alone without Greg’s presence.
The fact that Greg had not hung up the lab’s stockings saddened Nick more than he cared to think about. Strengthening his resolve to fix the gaping hole that had formed between the two of them, Nick used his break to hang the lab’s stockings. It was the only thing he could think of that might reach Greg.
Greg had been in the lab for most of his shift. Nick had teased him about being confused as to what his actual job was now, but Greg was just helping out Ecklie until he could find someone else to fill the lab position. They were short-handed and Greg needed to work.
Greg had pretty much been left alone after Nick and Warrick came to see him earlier, so he had gotten a lot of work done in the first part of the shift but it was almost time for a break. Stretching, Greg arched his back to get the kinks out, he was no longer used to sitting at the lab bench for long periods of time. Twisting to the side Greg spotted Nick hanging the lab’s Secret Santa Stockings up. Intrigued he moved closer to the glass wall that separated his lab from the hallway where Nick was busy at work with the stockings.
Nick had his back to him so Greg felt safe spying even though he was in complete view of everyone else in the lab. He watched as Nick hung Greg’s stocking and stopped to stroke the plastic cutout Christmas tree that Greg had added last year. Warrick was heading down the hallway his attention focused on Nick.
“Hey Nick, what you doing man?”
“I thought I’d put up the Secret Santa Stockings...”
“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for Greg to put them up, I’ve been hanging out all year to get him back for that glitter shaped like little dicks he put in my stocking last Christmas. I had that shit stuck to me for weeks and every now and then I still find bits of it, in my clothes and in my bed. I want some payback. Maybe that will snap him out of the funk he’s been in lately. What’s with him anyway? He’s all grumpy and repressed.”
Greg almost smiled when he heard what Warrick had said about the glitter from last year but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. Backing away from the glass wall that separated him from them, he continued to listen to their conversation and watch Nick fondle his stocking.
“Look I can’t talk to you about what’s going on with Greg because I don’t know. He won’t talk to me and I don’t know how to help him if he won’t even spend five seconds in the same room as me!” Nick said in a rush.
“Whoa! Nicky calm down! I’m sure whatever Greg’s problem is it has nothing to do with you, I mean why would it?” Warrick asked, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder.
“I have to get some fresh air. I’ll be back in a minute.” Nick said pushing past Warrick but not before he dropped what looked to Greg like a folded piece of paper into his stocking.
“Sure. I wanted to get a drink anyway I’ll meet you in the break room. Okay?” Warrick asked, obviously unsure of what had Nick so riled up.
“Fine.” Nick muttered as he hurried off in search of fresh air.
‘Damn it!’ Nick thought. Fuck! He was having a panic attack. He could feel it rising up inside him like a giant wave of water, just waiting to crash over him. Nick had a few panic attacks right after he got home from the hospital but he thought he had managed to put that behind him. Now look at him, he was standing alone in the car park trying to choke down much needed oxygen, on the verge of tears.
Maybe he had made a mistake by putting that note into Greg’s stocking? Maybe Greg didn’t want to be with him anymore and he just didn’t know how to say it? Oh, God! What if Greg didn’t love him anymore?
Nick struggled to shut off his brain. The usually smart organ was doing him no favours right now. Deep down he knew that Greg loved him; he just couldn’t get his head around why it seemed to be so painful for Greg to be anywhere near him.
Nick needed to do something, one of them had to break what was fast becoming a cruel pattern before it ruined their relationship. He needed to do something...but the question was what if it didn’t work?
Greg decided that he would just take a little peek at the piece of paper that Nick had dropped into his stocking. The significance of the paper was not lost on Greg but he was worried that it might signal something bad. Maybe Nick had finally gotten sick of all his bullshit.
Dipping his fingers gingerly into his stocking, Greg felt something cold and metal and the piece of paper that he had just seen Nick drop inside it. Taking a hold of both the paper and what Greg suspected was some kind of key; he pulled them out of the stocking where he could look at them.
He was right; it was a brass door key on a Gumby key ring. Putting the key in his pocket Greg unfolded Nick’s note and proceeded to read it in the middle of the lab. Greg had to read it three times before the words started to make sense to him.
G,
I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love another person. When I was in that box, it was little things that kept me going. And just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore I just thought about how mad you would be at me if I got myself seriously hurt. And when that stoped working I thought about what you would do if you were in that box with me, and baby you were. You were right there with me the whole time. You never left me. I sang. I don’t know what is going on with you at the moment but I do know one thing, I would rather be with you when you are set on ignoring me and pushing me away than be without you. I love you. I want you. I ache for you, for your touch, for your smile, for your time. So this year my gift to you is a choice, take this key and move in with me, share my life, and let me share your pain. And give me the chance to return to you just a little part of the joy you’ve given me.
I want everyone to know I love you. I want everyone to know that I belong
to you,
Nick
Looking up he spotted Nick talking to Warrick, Catherine and Sara in the break room. Without even realising he had moved he found himself standing in front of Nick. Launching himself into Nick’s arms he locked his lips against Nick’s. It took Greg a few seconds to realise that yes, Nick was kissing him back and when he went to pull away, Nick tightened his hold on Greg.
“So?” Nick asked, when he finally allowed some space between the two of them.
“Okay.” Greg whispered in reply.
“Okay?” Nick wanted to be sure that Greg was sure.
“Yes, okay.” Greg said pulling the Gumby key ring out of his pocket and attaching to his own Pokey key ring, so there could be no mistaking his answer.
Greg happened to catch a glimpse of Grissom’s stunned face as he walked into the break room; just moments before Nick’s mouth came crashing down over his own.
“Did we know about that?” Grissom asked as he watched Nick and Greg leave the break room together holding hands.
“Umm...” Sara said not really sure how to respond.
“I knew.’ Said Warrick, ‘Well I didn’t know for sure but I suspected.”
“Me too.” Catherine said putting sugar in her coffee.
“Okay if we are confessing, I saw them kiss once in the locker room.” Sara said sitting down next to Catherine who had just started laughing.
“Really?’ Catherine asked, a huge smile plaster to their face. ‘Ditto. I saw them kissing in the locker room too.”
“Okay, check it out, I saw Greg’s car outside Nick’s place for a whole weekend.” Warrick said, joining the others at the table.
“How do you know it was there all weekend?” Sara asked, highly curious.
“Well...umm...I met this girl and she lived on Nicky’s street and Greg’s car was there the whole time I was with her,” Warrick answered, ducking his head a little embarrassed to be discussing his weekend long sexual activities.
“Well I never suspected.” Said Grissom as he took his coffee and made to leave.
“And you call yourself a CSI?” Catherine said with a laugh as Grissom left the room already engrossed in his latest crossword puzzle.
Christmas Eve
Nick watched as Greg walked into their bedroom from the bathroom. Following he came up behind Greg and tugged at the towel tied at Greg’s waist. Naked and wet was how Nick liked Greg best and if Greg didn’t stop rubbing his naked body against Nick’s clothed one he was never going to get a chance to show him how much. Spinning Greg around, he backed him up against the bed until his legs hit the mattress and Greg sprawled down on top of the quilt. Nick spared no time stripping off his own clothes and grabbing Greg’s ankle, he pulled him towards the edge of the bed almost off and then he flipped him. Bending Greg over the end of the bed, Nick pushed until Greg was forced to crawl up onto the bed.
Licking a line up Greg’s right leg Nick climbed onto the bed behind him. Reaching the little bud that guarded the entrance to Nick’s own private heaven, he swirled his tongue around the rim before dipping inside. Urged on by Greg’s increasing moans, Nick resumed his path up Greg’s body mapping the burn scars with his tongue.
Skimming his hands down Greg’s flank, Nick stopped when he reached Greg’s ass, cupping both cheeks in his hands he emitted a moan of his own. Grabbing a bottle of flavoured lube that Greg had put in his Secret Santa stocking, Nick slicked up his fingers, and then he thrust two of them deep inside Greg, eliciting another moan.
“More,” Greg all but begged.
“Are you sure?” Nick wanted Greg so bad but it had been a while since they had made love like this. This fast, this rough, this desperately.
“God yes!” Greg whimpered as Nick added another finger.
“Are you sure you want this?” Nick asked again, reaching for the bundle of nerves hidden deep inside Greg. Brushing up against them, Greg hissed, pushing back into Nick’s body.
“Fuck yes! I need it! I need you!” Greg tried to twist around so he could see Nick’s face but Nick held him firmly in place.
Satisfied with Greg’s answer he loosened his grip on Greg’s bucking hips. “Then touch me,” Nick replied.
Reaching behind him Greg took a hold of Nick’s erect cock. Using the pre-cum he found coating the head he jacked it tightly in his fist. He had been so afraid that he would never get a chance to touch Nick like this again. Afraid that he would never again feel Nick thrusting inside him. Afraid to hope. To dream.
“Fuck...I want you!” Nick groaned as Greg fisted his cock.
“I want you too,” Greg said twisting to see his face.
“Put a condom on me,” Nick commanded, pressing one into Greg’s free hand but Greg looked at and shook his head.
“Wait!” Greg all but shouted when Nick went to take the condom back.
“What?” Nick asked completely confused.
“Roll over. I wanna see you. I wanna touch you.” Greg said as he moved out of Nick’s reach.
Nick rolled over onto his back unsure of what Greg wanted. Watching as Greg ripped open the condom wrapper, he heard himself hiss as Greg rolled it down his aching cock. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered.
“Mmm.” Greg moaned in unison.
Greg leaned forward to kiss Nick’s mouth. Tongues dancing they moved closer and closer together. Climbing over Nick’s prone body, Greg lowered himself so that he was straddling Nick’s waist. Greg rubbed his hard cock against Nick’s until they were both begging for more. Leaning back Greg once again took a hold of Nick’s aching dick and positioning it at his entrance, he lowered himself slowly onto it until he bottomed out.
Pausing just for a moment, he felt his stomach tighten when Nick’s gaze met his own. And as they both moved close to climax, Greg realised that there was nothing in this world that compared to having Nick inside him chanting his name.
Christmas Day
“So what’s up G? Why are we here? Lab’s practically empty, it’s Christmas, skeleton crew only.” Nick said following his lover into the almost dead (pardon the pun) offices and labs that usually ruled their lives.
“I have something I need to do. It’s important,” Greg insisted, grabbing a hold of Nick’s hand and pulling him along in his wake.
Greg stopped in front of the Secret Santa stockings and gave Nick one of his patented ‘sneaky up to no good’ grins and winked. Putting his hands into the pockets of his denim jacket he pulled out a shrink-wrapped packet and a tiny vial of something extremely shiny.
“What are you going to do?” Nick asked getting a bad feeling.
“Nothing. Grissom asked me last year if I would give edible undies again this year so he could try a different flavour. He really liked the strawberries ones but look! I found mango flavoured ones! How cool is that?” Greg answered as he dumped the shrink-wrapped packet into Grissom’s stocking.
Moving along the wall until they came to Warrick’s stocking. “No, Greg. Whatever you’re thinking it’s a bad idea.” Nick’s bad feeling was back in full force only when Greg winked at him again as he twisted the top off of the glass vial, Nick found himself grinning right back at Greg. Watching as Greg emptied the entire contents of the vial into Warrick’s stocking, Nick couldn’t help but feel a little bad about his part in the prank on his friend but he was so happy to have his Greggo back that he shook it off. “You know Greg, Warrick’s not dumb enough to just thrust his arm in the stocking, not after last year.”
“I know...’ Greg replied pulling Nick into the locker room. ‘That’s what this is for...” Holding up a second vial of what were unmistakably tiny foil penises, Greg shook them in front of Nick’s face.
Groaning, Nick knew he shouldn’t be surprised; there was nothing that Greg loved doing more than teasing and he had obviously heard Warrick’s boasts to get payback. “I don’t know, Greg... Warrick will be really pissed at you if you tip that sparkly shit in his locker on all his clothes and stuff.”
“I know that’s why you are going to do it.”
“What? No, I’m not!”
“Come on, Nick, you told me you wanted to be partners. You told me that you wanted to share things with me. You promised me joy and this would bring me unlimited amounts of not only joy but also ecstasy.” Greg said batting his long dark eyelashes, but it was his goofy grin that essentially made Nick reach out for the vial and dump the content into Warrick’s locker.
“Shit he’s gonna want my ass for this,” Nick muttered as he threw the empty vial into the trash.
“Nope. Warrick knows that your ass belongs to me,” Greg said before he took off skipping down the hallway and out of the lab singing ‘Jingle Bells’.
Shaking his head for like the millionth time that day, Nick heard himself let out a brief bark of laughter before he reined himself. Breaking into a jog Nick ran after Greg before he could get himself into any more trouble.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 05:50 pm (UTC)That: Reaching the little bud that guarded the entrance to Nick’s own private heaven, is a lovely line. Love the love and Greg kind of buffaloing Nick into the glitter thing. Warrick's gonna be pissed. Totally lovely. Wish you'd posted it nearer Christmas, but this is worth reading any time. :-D
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Date: 2006-01-17 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 08:11 pm (UTC)Nick really smiled for the first time in a long time as he remembered how last year Greg had given Grissom a pair of edible undies in his stocking. Sara had found Grissom a few weeks later eating them in the break room.
BWWWWWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... this had to be my favourite part in the entire story. I laughed so hard i started snorting.
*giggling* So wonderful. Great story, yaay!
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Date: 2006-01-17 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 08:31 pm (UTC)My favorite line was: ...and without Nick nothing made sense anyway. Just beautiful.
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Date: 2006-01-17 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 09:42 pm (UTC)I love playful Greg, but I can also see him hiding in himself when things go bad.
Well done and who cares about details such as time....
/A
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Date: 2006-01-18 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 12:14 am (UTC)*re-reads it again*
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Date: 2006-01-18 07:15 am (UTC)Gaby
Date: 2006-01-18 04:49 am (UTC)Re: Gaby
Date: 2006-01-18 07:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 05:18 am (UTC)i'm getting around to resonding to your email...problem is i'm so damn lazy...that and school started again...this is me thrilled :D haha...but at least one question i can answer, i do have another nick/greg fic in the works...but perhaps i shall hold it ransom until you get another one of out on a limb done...hmmmmm...lol...all right, i'll resond soon...ttyl
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Date: 2006-01-18 05:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 07:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-18 03:17 pm (UTC)and yes you better come out and play...hehe
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Date: 2006-01-18 03:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 09:01 am (UTC)