(no subject)

[boy-ish.livejournal.com]

Title: Because Nick Wanted You
Author: Bry
Fandom and Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC-17
Claim & Prompt: baby; epiphany (wordclaim50)
Notes: Again, this is only a version of them--a possibility, not my ultimate perception (or preference). And, this is one of those stories that will only use the word 'baby' as opposed to making it a sort of theme. Also, you're not supposed to like what ends up happening in this story, but that doesn't mean you can't like the story itself.
Summary: Things are never as they seem, especially when you're not trying to see anything else. (set early season 3)

The privileged ones, Nick wanted.

You hadn’t seen them all—or any, really—but you knew that’s how Nick worked. Nick was special, and he knew it without arrogance. He seemed oblivious to it, actually, yet knew exactly how to capture his prey. How to charm and seduce them, before even he became aware of it.

He liked to touch you. To subtly slide his hand up your arm or hold your chest as he spoke to you. Friendly, of course. At first anyway, until the winks and smiles and pet names—affectionate names—came. Sure, others had their ‘special’ names bestowed upon them in Nick’s playfulness, but not like yours. Never like yours.

And you became enchanted—captivated—like all the others. You tried to hide it. Tried to toss out witty anecdotes without blushing in response to Nick’s brilliantly supportive smiles. Tried not to shudder and gasp, eyelids fluttering as you’d surrender, whenever Nick touched you. Instead, you only shivered. Always shivered. This tingle trickled into the depths of you, always lingering with subtle, trembling chills long after Nick had left you.

He liked you, and you knew that. He spoke to you and asked about you and listened to you. You told him everything—anything to keep him talking to you, to keep him interested in you. Every second was silently thrilling. He was like a drug you couldn’t get enough of. His touch, his smile, his eyes, his fucking smell—all so intoxicating. And oh, there was his warmth—that comforting aura that radiated from him whenenever he stood so, so close to you.

He wanted to know more of you, too. He took you out sometimes after work. Sure, often times Warrick came along too, but Nick always made sure you were a part of things. He always sat next to you and made sure you were there. And you just felt so damn special. Like you were, finally, almost as cool as Nick was. Because there you were, practically his equal. Even though you didn’t really want to be that equal. At least not there. You wanted him to touch you and take and you and, fuck, do anything to you. But you were quiet about it, and stayed that way, jacking off to him every chance you got.

Until he brought you home. Just for a movie, of course. He sat with you and laughed with you, and his arm rested just behind your shoulders and when you tilted your head back your hair brushed against it. You shot him a glance and half-smile and he offered you one to match, then his arm slid down to you.

“How have things been with you, G?” he asked, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

“Good.”

“Come on, that’s hardly an answer. Details, man.”

“I, um...” You tried not to be nervous and...excited to have him around you. But he noticed. He knew. He pointed it out with his eyes and a smirk and you blushed, squirming and adjusting your pants and shirt to hide it as best you could. “I- I was thinking about something else, the girl in the movie. Sorry, I-”

Nick leaned in closer and you couldn’t help the honest shudder as your eyes closed and his scorching breath burned the words into your ear, “I haven’t noticed any girls in this movie.”

“Heh.” You cleared your throat amidst a nervous laugh. “It’s, uh- It’s an accident.”

“Mmm.” The vibrations of Nick’s amused hum only made your ‘accident’ more prominent. “No it’s not.”

“I- Uh-” You tried to get up, to escape your humiliation, but his arm had you pinned.

“Aren’t you going to do something about that?” he whispered, again directly into your ear.

You looked to him, mouth open and so anxiously awed, trying to read his dark eyes.

His lips touched your neck and you melted, eyes closing as heavy breath gave away the tremble of your exhilaration. He sucked between kisses, licking and nibbling, so perfectly and it was all so...

“Mmmm. Take it out. Show me how hard you are.”

“Okay.” Your mouth spoke before your mind gained the courage to do it. But there you were anyway, shaking hands unbuttoning your jeans with Nick watching so very intently. You only pushed things down enough to pull it out, supposing such would suffice in this...situation. But Nick didn’t agree.

“Mm mm. All the way down.”

“Okay.” And your hips lifted for the tug of pants and underwear to your ankles.

Nick seemed...pleased, and even forced your shirt up for a better view. “Touch yourself for me.”

Okay, maybe things were going a little too fast. He’d never even hinted at anything like this before and-

“Now.”

You nodded, certainly satisfying him with your eager unease as flustered fingers curled around yourself. He went back to necking you, a warm hand cupping your knee and forcing your legs farther apart. He’d pause sometimes, just long enough to take in the action, sighing his approval with vibrations hinting at a groan.

The touch of yourself barely registered compared to what Nick did to you, nor compared to his hand inside your thigh and the velvety wetness at your neck. It all burned so brilliantly, the tug of your hand only aiding the bonfire that consumed you.

“Faster,” he ordered, and you whimpered, instantly obeying.

Your free hand dared to slip over his, clutching it just inside your thigh.

“No,” he said, and you actually felt the delicious dominance in his smirk. Then his hand left you.

You stopped, confused and embarrassed and needy. “What-”

“Sh,” he cut you off, a finger at his lips before that very hand lowered itself to you again. But this time it touched a place you hadn’t dared to beg him for, despite how much you wanted it. He took you into his firm fist, working your cock with a slow intensity that you could barely comprehend. So you simply opted not to, and only felt. Part of you wanted to roll your head back against the arm still around you and die in it, but you couldn’t bear to tear your eyes away. You couldn’t believe that Nick-fucking-Stokes was jacking you off, and needed every single second of it to be burned, seared into your memory forever.

Your face twitched with the shudder and gasps of your breath. “Yeah…uh.”

“Mmm, yes. Cry it, baby,” he said of your panting moans, purring it through his ever-present kisses. “You gonna cum for me?”

“Yeah…Yeah.” And you felt it, almost there. He started kissing you again, certain not to slow, and soon, soon… “Fuck. Uh, yeah. God…” And you were lost, to him, surrounded by him, taken by him.

“Good boy,” he whispered, his hand still working your high away. After a few more moments, he gave you one last kiss to your cheek before rising and making his way to the kitchen’s sink to wash his hand off.

You found some tissues on the coffee table to wipe up the remnants, and began working your pants up just as he returned.

“I heard Grissom was pretty impressed with you the other day. What was that all about?” He sat again, but not quite as close.

“I, um-” And you worked your way through it, tightening up those inadvertent stumbles as the flush faded from your cheeks. It was weird, kinda, how he just kept going as if it hadn’t happened. As if it wasn’t so fucking huge. But then you thought—maybe it wasn’t supposed to be. This is how Nick worked. You weren’t supposed to get all emotional and sappy and “talk” about it. You just did it and moved on.

You left once the movie finished, and he walked with you to the door and offered a pleasant goodbye and “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Things weren’t too weird at work. At least, not as weird as you thought it’d be. He was still same-old-Nick. And you were still same-old-oddball-Greg. He didn’t hesitate to talk to you, nor did he avoid touching you. He still liked you. And you couldn’t help but wonder, constantly, did he want to know more of you? Because you would give yourself to him, again and again.

Later—a few days, actually—you asked, propositioned him again, “Do you wanna, I mean, like a movie again or something? At your place?”

He laughed an amused smirk, because he knew exactly why you were asking. “Yeah, sure. What are you up for?”

"Anything."

“Anything?”

"I mean, whatever you want."

“N’kay. I’ll figure out somethin’.”

“Okay,” you replied with a sweetly pleased smile. He rubbed your shoulder before disappearing, and you took a second to savor it.

You showed up at his doorstep intentionally late, as to not appear too eager. Though the same could not be said for him. He grinned upon the sight of you, and urged your entrance with a “come in, come in.” You only went a few steps further, just enough to clear yourself of the door and to watch as Nick closed and locked it. When he turned back to you, that mischievous excitement hadn’t escaped his expression. He neared you, and, sooner than you’d supposed, had you against the wall. He was at your neck again, hands tugging so roughly to open your jeans, and your imminent overwhelm forced you to surrender to him. Again.

As soon as your pants hit the floor, he was on his knees. His fist wrapped around the base of you, and you were already so fucking hard. His tongue twirled around the tip and you began to tremble. He sucked and licked and kissed and stroked and even managed to take all of you a few times, just daring you to die in it. You thought you would, because there wasn’t anywhere to go from here—it couldn’t get any fucking better.

Both hands clutched your T-shirt, scrunched midway up your chest, while the rest of you reeled, panting your elated appreciation just as you had before. Nick looked up with that fucking grin every now and then, so very satisfied with your resulting incoherency.

You didn’t have to tell him when you were almost there—he could tell by your cries, and urged you to “Cum on, boy,” amidst fevered stroking before his mouth went back to swallowing your only slightly restrained thrusts.

“Uh,” was all you managed as the wave of pure bliss took you away, and released itself into Nick’s mouth. All of it. But that barely registered until the high had worn off enough to urge your eyes open, just in time to see Nick rise and then spit into the wastebasket.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d seen before,” he said once in the kitchen and just after turning the tap on. He then filled a glass, took a sip, swished it around, and spit it out. “So I rented a few. Figured there might be something you’d be interested in.”

“Ye-yeah.” You’d just barely gotten your pants back up when he returned to you.

“C’mon,” he insisted, waving you toward the living room. “The couch is gettin’ cold.”

“Yeah,” you replied with a smile hinting at shy. You spent the next few hours there, just like the first time, watching a movie you’d seen before but thought that Nick should see too. He still asked about you. Just the same, he was interested. And just the same, you were thrilled to tell him more. And even more delighted when you impressed him, or when one of your supposed kinky ‘experiences’ made him blush.

It took another few weeks of friendly flirting and bashful avoidance before Nick ever invited you into his bed. It was subtle at first, thanks to being at work. You’d just recited your findings to him, explaining what you supposed the substance found within the blood on the bottom of a victim’s shoe meant, when he scanned the recently-printed paperwork and asked, “Hmm... You ever been on the bottom before, G?”

Though slightly thwarted, you were pretty sure you knew exactly what he meant. “Yeah.”

“Really? How is it?”

“I...” You half-shrugged, a shoulder lifting toward your tilted head. “I like it well enough, I guess.”

“Good. I think, next time, you should be prepared to do that. What do you say?”

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

“Alright, then. I’ll see you later,” he said with a light smack to your upper arm.

You met at his place again, during your next available coinciding off-time. This time, he didn’t take you at the door. Nor on the couch. No, he took you to his bedroom. And there he had things already set. Although ‘set’ simply meant having the lamp on, covers turned down with a couple pillows propped up at the end of the bed, and some condoms and lube very blatantly displayed upon the nightstand.

“Mmm, you ready?” he purred into the back of your neck, with firm hands upon your shoulders.

“Yeah,” you breathed, and he was lifting your shirt. He stripped you completely, then led you to his bed. Though when you attempted to lie toward the headboard, he quickly righted you.

“Mm mm, this way,” he said, hands gripping your shoulders to guide your head toward the end of the bed. “That’s right. Good boy. Now, close your eyes.”

You did so, curling your arms around a pillow and listening so intently to the rustle of Nick’s clothing as it so obviously dropped to the floor. But Nick didn’t join you right away, and though tempted to look up once hearing the ‘tink’ of the television turning on, and whir of the VCR starting up, you didn’t. Not even as Nick’s knee caused the mattress to dip just before the rest of him joined you, nor as the corny dialogue that you knew all too well started up. You didn’t even have to look. And you didn’t want to look, either. Sure, you had nothing against chicks—you liked some of them—but straight porn was just...not preferential. Especially in this instance.

Nick began to touch you with firm, knowing hands that worked their way up your back and neck, while straddling your thighs with his own nakedness. Soon he merged with you to resume that now quite familiar kissing, with the not-so-familiar addition of his warm, muscled body grinding so deliciously against you. And now you thought you could just die in this. Having him there, atop you, skin-to-skin with his lips and fingertips dancing so delicately upon your flesh...

Soon he rose from you, and encouraged your hips to rise and tilt for him. “You don’t take too much preparation, do you?” he asked as the lube’s plastic cap popped open.

“No.”

“Great.” The lube-coated tip of a finger touched your asshole only briefly before the slick thickness slipped inside.

You gasped, instantly.

“Yeah, you like that?” he asked, a pleased smirk in his voice.

“Yes.”

“Mmm.” He almost laughed it as his finger slipped from you to aid him in the application of the condom. Your disappointment didn’t have the opportunity to last long, as he sank right into you only moments later. “Oh fuck yeah...” he growled, hands gripping your hips.

You moved with him, just slightly, the weight of him and the tamed force behind his tempered thrusts rocking you. You knew he was watching the TV, and you wished you couldn’t hear it, but he was still so fucking...focused. And it all had you so lost to him. This was more than you could have imagined. Though you had imagined it—you had dreamt of him taking you, fucking you, and having his ultimate way with you—but this...this was better than all those desperate jack-off sessions combined.

His moans—his growls that made you shudder with each grunt—soon drowned out the rest of it, especially mixed with your own. And so long as you didn’t look up, so long as all you felt was his fucking passion as he moved within you and over you and around you, it was all you needed. Still, you wanted more, but when your hand drifted below to aid your overwhelm, another clamped around your wrist.

“Mm mm,” he warned with authoritative amusement before guiding your arm back to the clutch of pillows. Then he lowered himself, once again merging the front of him with your back, to let that strong hand take hold of you. He stroked you just as expertly as before, this time accompanied with the jolting rhythm of his hips and the fervor of his pleasure as you’d never felt it. But now you had him, and he’d finally given himself to you.

“Come on, baby, come on,” he whispered in that husky growl. “You’re close now, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you whispered, a trembling in your panting.

“Come on now,” he urged with devastating eagerness, and could tell by your resulting cries that you were certainly abiding. “Oh yes. Yes. There you go. Oh yeah.” He slowed enough to work your high away at a pleasant pace, and when your breath had calmed to that of simple satisfaction, he pressed a hand to the center of your back, thus forcing you to lie down. He continued above you in practical silence besides that of his labored breaths, until you felt a brief, body-encompassing shudder.

“Keep your eyes closed,” he whispered, removing himself.

You listened to him take care of things, including turning off the television and even dressing himself again.

“Okay,” he said from the doorway. “I got a new two-player videogame if you’re interested. If not, you can just take off.”

“No, I can-” You slipped from the bed to grab your underwear. “I can stick around, if you want.”

“Okay. Cool.” And he left the room.

The experience went on and ended just as the couple before had, and your meetings at work seemed to remain quite similar as well. That is, until one particular instance in the locker room during your break. You weren’t sure where it could go from there, if the experience could become even more intense, or if, oh god, he let you fuck him. But you didn’t even need that, just one more night like the last and you’d be in heaven.

So you propositioned him, again as subtly as you could despite the lack of others within the vicinity. “Hey, I was wondering, if you weren’t doing anything later, maybe I could come over...”

“No.”

“Oh, okay, when do you think we could-”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty busy this week,” he replied, standing up after tightening a shoelace.

“Oh. That’s cool. I’m pretty busy, too, so I just thought I’d, ya know...”

“Mm hmm,” he said with a half-smile before closing his locker and leaving you.

You brushed it off, figuring, of course—he couldn’t be all about you. He was a busy guy with a demanding job and didn’t have time to be fucking around. So you gave him a little time—a few days—before taking it upon yourself, and ‘happening to be in the neighborhood’ one night that you knew he had off. You didn’t go to the door, though, because you knew he couldn’t want to see you. Or so you supposed. He had company that night, some unknown car, and despite the creepy-factor you were certain he’d pick up on if he had any clue you were doing it, you watched and waited, until, finally, an hour or two later, she came out. Yes, it was a she and there he was at the door, kissing her cheek and smiling. You tried to rationalize, and you clung to it with all that you had, despite the inevitable sinking of your heart.

She was just, probably his sister. Tomorrow, you’d just casually bring it up, he’d say so, and things would be fine. He had family in town, didn’t want to introduce them to his male lover, and that was all. You totally understood.

You just needed the confirmation. Though your mind had so thoroughly convinced yourself this scenario was true, your heart couldn’t help but tremble when you approached him.. “Hey, Nick, um... I was just wondering, uh, I stopped by the another night and I saw-”

“You stopped by my place last night?” he asked, eyes sharp with agitated alarm.

“Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanted to do anything and I was in the neighborhood so I stopped by but there was this girl coming out-”

“I thought I told you I was busy,” he said, eyes growing darker.

“Well I just thought-”

“I don’t know what you think this is, Greg, but don’t you think you’re becoming a bit obsessed with me? I mean, you’re camping out outside my house spying on me?”

“What? It wasn’t like that,” you plead with honest confusion. “I thought we-”

“What? You think we're boyfriends or something? Please, I’m not looking for a husband.”

“Well I’m not, either. And, I mean, you don’t have to call me your boyfriend, but I thought we, ya know.”

Nick practically snorted. “There’s never been any ‘we’. This isn’t real, Greg. Look, we had a good time, but it was nothing more than that.”

“You mean, you’re not...”

“Gay? No.”

You couldn’t help a timid laugh in your confusion. “But you-”

“Look, there’s a reason gay marriage isn’t legal. Two guys aren’t supposed to go playin’ house or somethin’. We can’t pretend to be real. It just doesn’t work that way. I’m sorry if you feel I’ve misled you, but I thought it was clear that we’re just friends.”

“No, I didn’t think- I didn’t mean it like that. Just forget it,” you said, silently cursing the sting in your eyes as you turned away from him.

“Greg...” he says, voice softer as he nears you. “I didn’t know it meant that much to you, man.”

“It didn’t,” you snap, already back to your work.

“I still like you...Greg.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay,” he softly replied, a hand gripping your shoulder before he left.

You didn’t shiver this time. That’s the first thing you noticed. No, instead it only stung, more than the burn of tears in your eyes. And it lingered much longer, too.

Maybe he was right. Two guys just...couldn’t. You’d never made it work before. You’d always just been a fuck. This time it was supposed to be different. You’d never felt this before. You’d never...loved one of them. But it wasn’t love, and you knew that now. Infatuation and utter lust had blinded you. All this time, he never treated you like anything other than a friend outside of those brief moments of sexual contact. It was just you who felt more than him. Just you who created this passionate little world that didn’t exist. It was you who lost yourself, and let all the rest of it go, just because Nick wanted you.

---

Questions:

1. How do you feel about Nick in all this?

2. How do you feel about Greg?

3. How do you ultimately feel about this situation and their 'relationship'?

4. Any other thoughts?

Bonus: How did you feel about the straight porn aspect? Did you still find Greg's ultimate experience appealing (or any of the 'sexual contact') even though you knew there was something off about it (or not), or did you recognize that 'off-ness' and therefore find it unappealing?

Also: If you don't want to answer the questions (and just give a simple comment), that's fine, but further thoughts are very valuable.