nickngreg | (no subject)

Second chapter for 'Is it worth it'.
Title: Chapter 2, Dinner time.
Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me.
Pairing: Nick and Greg.
Rating: R
Summary: Greg has to deal with his own trauma before he can help Nick with his.

“That was my plan. But I wanted to wait for you and see if…” Grissom was cut short by Nick.
“What she doing?” Nick’s hands were hovering above her like she was an unstable compound.
“I think she’s filling her diaper.” Louise had a frown on her face and her body was tense from her current task. He took the baby and sniffed at her bottom, wincing at the smell.

“I guess I better do something about that.” He picked up the bag with the diapers and extra clothes and left the room. Since the majority of patients in this ward was unable to use a toilet themselves there wasn’t any attached to the room. The loss of control over simple body functions like that was just one more humiliation of being hurt severely. He wondered how bad Nick ‘the control freak’ would react to bedpans and catheters. He had noticed that Nick’s bag was placed on the side of the bed away from the door and hence the visitors. It had almost driven him crazy after the explosion that he couldn’t go to the toilet like a normal person.

Outside he was met by the guard dog nurse.
“Where’s the bathroom?” He hadn’t noticed any signs on his arrival.
“Use the one down the hall. It says patients only, but the visitors one is too small to change diapers in.” Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.
“Thank you very much, that’s very kind of you ma’am.”
“Well for such a sweetheart that’s the least I could do.” Was she flirting with him?
“And that makes you a sweetheart too.” At that moment he knew he was back.
“Have you had anything to eat? If not, I’m sure I can get some both for you and your little angel.” She was definitely flirting with him all while she doted on Louise.
“That would be absolutely great. I kinda left in a hurry…”
“I’ll have it for you and your sweet thing in half an hour.” She twirled her hair.

He had flirted back and he had a moment he had only seen bad animations of on film. That fantastic moment of returning to your own body after having been lost for ages. It was official; Greg Sanders was one whole person again.
”Jeg er tilbake igjen, og du skal få den kuleste pappa’n i by’n.” He cooed to the baby once in the bathroom. Louise replied with some gaga sounds and he couldn’t help himself and joined her in her baby babble, thinking that would surely drive Grissom insane.

“Ugh you sure know how to fill these don’t ya?” The diaper was filled to the rim and it surprised him that she hadn’t erupted into a crying fit with a bottom like that.
“Easy with those legs. I need to wipe you clean… ump ouch you little devil. Lie still.” One of her feet had connected with his jaw, not very hard just without warning. She was kicking and wriggling and four limbs against two made him silently wish for a manual.

It took him ten minutes and two near panic attacks to get her into a fresh diaper. She had thrashed so much around that she had nearly fallen to the floor twice.
“Okay two buttons to go now.” A sigh of relief followed the words as he did the last buttons. He picked her up and gathered everything else in his left hand wondering if it got easier with practice. When he had everything he remembered that he had forgotten to wash his hands.

“Where’s Grissom?” He came back to Nick’s room a whole lot more disorganized than when he left and he had planned on Grissom’s help.
“Gone to the toilet.” Nick mumbled more to the bed than to him. He dumped everything but the baby near the pram and looked around hoping to find a solution to his predicament.
“It sucks, I remember only too well.” Nick met his eyes and a faint smiled ghosted across his lips, but it never came near his eyes.
“Can I hold her again?” He placed Louise on the bed carefully avoiding all tubes and wires.

“I forgot to wash my hands and I’ve no idea what I’ve gotten myself into.” He explained as he made a beeline for the sink in Nick’s room.
“Do you have room enough for two children in your flat?” Nick asked the rhetorical question that everybody already knew the answer to.
“I mean I’ve got two extra rooms at my house and a garden, so you could move in and it would be better right?” He kept on washing his hands while trying to recall just how lucid he had been while he was in the hospital.

“Nick if the offer still stands when you’re not all drugged up then we’ll talk about it.”
“I mean it. I’m not that out of it.” The hurt in Nick’s voice was painfully evident.
“I know and I’m just tryin…” Louise launched a scream from another world and he rushed to her and picked her up.
“Shh… shh… daddy’s here, easy… easy… now.” He had no idea what had caused her crying fit and he hoped it was just hunger and not something serious.

“I want you to. You can’t loose yourself Greg.” Nick’s voice had gone at least an octave higher, if not more, than normal.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m… I’m fine.” The lie was too evident and he continued.
“Well… maybe not, but you shouldn’t worry about me Nick. You’re gonna have enough to deal with after this… burial.” He cuddled Louise close as he whispered the last words to Nick desperately trying not to cry.

“At least you call it by its name. Everybody is walking on bloody eggshells all the time. Nobody dares say words like coffin, burial, dirt, kidnapping or whatever. I KNOW WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME.” Nick’s outburst made Louise sob loudly and he rocked her in his arms.
“We all do Nicky.” Grissom had entered without any of them noticing.
“Yeah well stop treating my like I’m made out of glass. I know what I …” Nick broke out into a hysterical crying fit and Louise accompanied him.

Grissom was at Nick’s side in an instant and enveloped the Texan in his arms. As Nick’s cries turned into sobs Louise also stilled and he found himself wiping tears from his own eyes. He wasn’t sure who those tears were falling for; it could be Nick, whom he had a major crush on a few years back, or it could be himself and what he had lost since the explosion.
“I’m sorry Griss. I’m okay really I am.” Nick was trying to convince them that he had it all under control, but his chest still heaved and the heart monitor also told of his distress.

“Do you need me to stay?” The way Grissom asked made him see, that they were all Grissom had. The people at the lab were Grissom’s family and what he and Nick had been through had gone straight to Grissom’s heart. In their day to day life Grissom had taken on the part of the Grand Patron and they had all accepted it. His discovery left him trembling all over and he vowed that he would never let go of himself again.
“No… we’ll be alright. I promise Griss.” Nick’s heavy accent told far more than his words.

“Yeah we’ll still be here tomorrow.” He wanted to crawl into Grissom’s embrace like he had done with his father as a small boy, but right now he had to be the grown up. The blue eyes considered him with their infamous intensity and he did his best to pass the inspection.
“Anything Greg. Anything and you call me, understood?” Grissom had that classic look on for whenever he handed out nonnegotiable orders.
“Yes sir.” Louise broke the high tension by gripping his lower lip hard.

“She doesn’t like to loose attention.” Grissom smirked and left the room. Nick made one of those half coughs to clear his throat and he turned to see if he could help in any way.
“Do you want me to step outside?” He knew how difficult it was to pee with other people in the room and Nick’s blush and nod told him that he was spot on.

“Do you need anything?” The guard dog nurse flicked her head and twirled a strand of hair.
“Nah, Nick just needed some privacy. That whole toilet thing is absolutely humiliating at first.” He looked rather bemused at all her flirtatious moves.
“Sounds like you have first hand experience.” She tickled Louise under the chin.
“Yup, got blown out of my lab two years ago and my back got burned.” It was that simple and until today it had ruled his life.

Before more could be said an orderly came round the corner with a food trolley.
“Oh great, I hope they got my order for you and this little beauty.” She cooed to the baby.
“I could just get some from the cafeteria, it’s no big deal.” She glared at him and retrieved three different servings from the trolley.
“This is for her.” She indicated a bright red plastic container.
“And this is for Nick.” She held up a soup bowl.
“And the rest is for you my dear.” She had taken a tray with two metal covered plates and put the baby food and soup onto it as well.

The guard dog nurse marched into Nick’s room with the tray and he sent a silent prayer that Nick had finished his business.
“Dinner’s ready Mr. Stokes.” She sat the tray down on the table and left brushing against him on the way out.
“I don’t get her. She just totally flirted with me and now she…” He waved his free hand after the closing door.
“Flirted? She’s been cold as ice every time she’s been in here.” Nick wondered aloud.

“The soup is yours.” He stopped Nick as he went for the red container.
“Oh, what’s the rest?” Nick looked puzzled and exhausted.
“This is for Louise and the rest for me apparently.” He opened the red container and tried to identify the liquefied mass in it, sniffing it carefully.
“What is it?” Nick asked wearily.
“I have no idea and I may not give a damn about what I eat myself, but I can’t just feed her some unknown substance like that.” He wrinkled his nose at the bland smell.

After having identified his own dinner he decided to give Louise some of his.
“Yikes, this soup is horrible. It’s way to creamy.” Nick struggled to swallow his first mouthful.
“Oh one of those. They make them like that to give you as much nutrition as possible in a small as possible portion. I remember I’d rather drunk milk directly from a cow.”
“But why can’t I just get something like yours.” Nick was whining and he found it rather charming.
“Because you’re the one in the ridiculous hospital gown and not me.” He said putting on his good old goofy Greg grin and a hint of a flirt.

“Do you know what this looks like?” Nick let the soup on his spoon drip back down into the bowl, both fascinated and disgusted by the thick fluid.
“Hmm, well no offense, but it looks like a cum-feast.” He was truly back, there was no way he would have said something like that last week. To his surprise Nick started to giggle almost like he was drunk. He gave Louise a small piece of his carrot.
“My thought exactly. And just how do you know?” Nick giggled watching Louise munch the carrot down like a pro.

He covered Louise’s ears.
“Well I’m no blushing virgin. How do you?” He couldn’t help flirting back even though he suspected the drugs to be talking for Nick, but it was fun to see Nick so carefree.
“Well I know I got this rep as the ladies man, but I’ve sure been with my share of guys as well.” Nick’s voice was slurred and strongly accented and he kept on with his ‘cooling’ of the soup. He gave Louise a piece of potato and wiped the spilled carrot of her chin.
“Eat it Nick. Trust me the nurse will give you a hard time if you don’t. I speak from experience.” He caught half the potato as Louise spat it out.

Nick started to gulp down his soup, but halfway through the Texan froze in motion. He was about to come with another smart remark when he noticed that Nick just sat there staring into nothing. A look he only knew too well. When he had been in the hospital full of drugs and with a never ending stream of visitors he had also lapsed in those moments of not being able to focus several times. He fed Louise another piece of potato and avoided to demand any attention from Nick.

The chicken meat on his plate was dry and he pre-chewed the bits that he fed Louise like it was the most natural thing in the world. She ate happily and he thought about Nick’s offer to become roommates. There was a time when he would have jumped to such an offer, but he had changed dramatically after the explosion and there was no way Nick could just shake this off like it was nothing at all. The crush that he had had for years he had killed after the explosion, certain that it was a waste of what had suddenly become precious time.

Deep down he knew that if Nick were to repeat the offer in a month he would take it. There was still something there between them, wasn’t there?
He had often wondered what sex with Nick would be like, would it be slow and sensual or fast and hard or would it somewhere in between. Nick began blinking and life returned to the dark eyes, eyes that he had once craved too see into while kissing a fantasy.

“Eh, I… eh…” Nick blinked confused and he lowered the spoon into the soup.
“I know. The drugs make it hard to stay focused. You just zoned out for a while.” He had done everything he could to hide it when he had been in the hospital and he had never told anyone about afterwards.
“Zoned out.” The slurred recital indicated that Nick was nowhere near coherent yet.
“Eat the soup Nick.” One simple task that would usually be done automatically would now demand Nick’s full attention to be completed.

Nick ate the rest of the soup and he finished his own plate together with Louise. He gave her some water to drink and carefully cleaned her face of the leftovers from her meal.
“She’s all beautiful.” Nick sounded more coherent and his eyes were clearly focused on Louise again. The baby had turned red eyed and he figured that she was tired.
“Yeah, but I think she needs to sleep now.” He spoke quietly not to stress her nor Nick.
“You can lay her here next to me.” Nick moved over towards the window and left plenty of room for the baby in the big hospital bed.

“Are you sure? What if she pulls on … you know one of the tubes?” Nick’s pleading eyes told him not to argue any further. Instead he laid her down and softly sang ‘Nothing compares to you’ for her. Both the baby and Nick stared at him in deep fascination over his singing. Louise drifted of before he was halfway through and Nick followed soon after. If it hadn’t been for the fact that they were in the hospital it would have made for a perfect scene.

A/N: I let Greg speak Norwegian on occasion and if I forget the translations please let me know.

Jeg er tilbake igjen, og du skal få den kuleste pappa’n i by’n= I'm back and you're gonna have the craziest dad in town.