[identity profile] catlover2x.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] nickngreg
Title: Good Intentions
CSI: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC17 for language
Summary: Humour
Disclaimers: I don’t own CSI, Nick or Greg, not that I wouldn’t like to.
A/N: Inpired by two stories. Find the links at the end.
Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] fred_bear and [livejournal.com profile] kahlualeia for their incredible input. You guys rock! (And are totally cute!)



“Did you see that? Nick was totally checking out Greg’s butt in the hall!”

Catherine smiled at Warrick’s exclamation. “And why shouldn’t he if he wants to?”

“I don’t care if he does it but why can’t he do something about it? Isn’t two years of foreplay long enough?” Warrick leaned against a file cabinet, as far away from Catherine as possible in her tiny office.

“I think it’s time for us to help them figure it out,” Catherine said, a dangerous sparkle in her eye. “I’ve got an idea.”

~*~

“Greg!”

“Jacqui?”

“Come to the storage closet and be tall for me. I can’t reach something I need,” Jacqui ordered.

“There’s a stool in there for just that purpose. Are you telling me you’re too frail and dainty to get up on it yourself?” Greg didn’t take his feet off the desk, where he was comfortably settled, reading a surfing magazine.

“So you’re refusing to help me, your friend?” Jacqui’s voice quavered with mock hurt.

“Why, yes. Yes I am.” Greg smirked at her.

“Boys,” Jacqui called out calmly. Bobby and Archie strode into the lab and grabbed Greg by both arms, pulling him up from his chair and marching him down the hall ignoring his struggles the entire way.

“What the fuc–” Greg burst out, half laughing and half angry.

“Language, Greg,” Jacqui interrupted primly. They came to a halt at the storage closet and she moved forward to unlock the door.

“And this is all because I wouldn’t help–”

Greg staggered as they shoved him into the darkened room, crashing into a bank of shelves, ducking his head as a shower of unidentified office products fell around him. He heard the lock click behind him and exclaimed, “Fuck!”

“Hey, G.”

“Nick! What are you doing in here?”

“Not quite sure but I’m betting we’ll find out soon.”

“Why is it dark?” Greg started feeling along the wall for the switch.

“Already tried that. They must have tripped the circuit breaker.”

Greg tripped over the stool he had recommended to Jacqui earlier, barely stopping himself from tumbling flat, and whacking himself on the funny bone in the process. “Ow!”

“C’mere,” Nick said. “Want me to kiss it and make it better?”

“Yes,” Greg said in a sulky tone. “Where are you?”

Nick flicked on his tiny keychain flashlight and Greg saw him seated comfortably on the floor, leaning back against some shelving. He staggered over and dropped down next to Nick, offering his elbow. Nick kissed it tenderly and wrapped his arm around Greg’s shoulders. “Better now?”

“Yeah,” Greg sighed. “Why are they doing this?”

“I don’t know.”

“You got your cell phone?” Greg asked hopefully.

“Nope, left it on my desk. You?”

“No, Archie grabbed it off me when they threw me in here.” Greg settled into the circle of Nick’s arm, leaning his head against his shoulder. “Maybe we should do this more often at work, huh?”

Both men started slightly at a sharp rap on the door.

“Boys?”

“Cath?”

“You’re probably wondering why we called this meeting, right?”

“Right,” Nick answered.

“We’ve been watching you two flirt and dance around each other forever and you’re getting nowhere, we decided to help things along a bit.”

Greg giggled. “Told you we hid it well.”

“I guess you were right, G,” Nick whispered back.

Warrick raised his voice. “We left you something to help with…negotiations. In the paper bag. Check it out.”

“And you’re not leaving till you work something out,” Jacqui added.

“Geez, are all of you in on this?” Greg groaned.

“Lucky for you we didn’t include Grissom. Now start talking.”

“How soon do you think we should ask them to let us out?”

“At least 15 minutes and we have to make it look good. Don’t you want to know what’s in the bag, G?”

“Oh, yeah, where is it?”

Nick flicked on his flashlight again and passed it over the small room.

“God, I really made a mess, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, we’ll get them to clean it up. It’s the least they can do. There’s the bag.”

“Leave it to a CSI,” Greg murmured as Nick crawled to the bag. He snagged it, looked inside and started laughing.

“You’re not gonna believe this, man.”

“What, what?”

“Glow in the dark condoms, lube – the wrong kind, and the Joy of Gay Sex,” Nick snorted.

“Not the Kama Sutra? They don’t think we’re more advanced than that?”

“They don’t think we’re an ‘us’, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” said Greg in a thoughtful voice that worried Nick.

“What are you thinking, G?”

Greg got up and went to the door. He fell against it with a thump and pressed his ear to it. He could hear rustles and laughter. He giggled quietly and whispered, “They’re outside, listening. Follow my lead.”

“Nick, keep your hands to yourself!”

“Greg, what are you doing?”

“Play along,” Greg hissed, then said loudly, “Why you didn’t ever tell me… Ohhh…”

Nick snickered and thumped the door, moaning, “I never thought you could care for me…”

“Kiss me!” Greg exclaimed dramatically.

Nick made more moaning noises and rattled the door.

“Did you hear that?” Warrick asked, turning to Catherine. She nodded and giggled.

“What do you think they’re doing?” Archie wondered.

“Don’t ask questions when you don’t want to know the answers,” Bobby grinned.

“Could they actually be doing it against the door?” Jacqui whispered.

“Technically yes, but it’s a difficult position for a first time–” Bobby answered.

“TMI, Bobby!” Archie protested, covering his ears.

Nick and Greg snickered as they listened on the other side of the door. “Gee, I liked it,” whispered Nick, grinning with glee.

“Oh, yes… right there… fuck… yes!” Greg moaned.

Nick dropped his head against the door smothering a laugh. “Ohhh Greg, I can’t keep my hands off you!”

“Feel so good, Nick…Oooh! Ohhh, yes!”

“You’re getting into this too much,” Nick whispered. “Don’t over do it!”

Greg threw back his head and let out a really loud moan, “Oh, Nicky, right there…touch me! Oh! My! God!”

Jacqui snickered, “Ten bucks, Archie. I told you he was a screamer.”

“Oh Nicky, I want to fuck you!”

“Greg!” Nick hit him in the arm. “Now they’re going to think I’m a bottom!” He cleared his throat. “No, Greg, I want to fuck you!”

“You are a bottom, Nick,” Greg muttered.

“Only for you,” Nick kissed Greg’s nose, then raised his voice moaning, “Oh, Greg…”

“You’re my Greedy Bottom Peeg,” Greg whispered, nuzzling Nick’s neck.

“Shut up! If they heard that–”

“My Hot Texas Stud! Ride me!” Greg shouted.

“You fucker!” Nick hissed and poked Greg in the ribs. “All right you asked for it.” He raised his voice and yelled, “So hot. So tight! Oh my precious Boo Boo Bear!”

Greg slid down the wall to the floor, his body shaking with silent laughter. Nick listened to the muffled giggles on the other side of the door and bumped rhythmically against the door, yelling, “Yes, Yes, YES!

In the long silence that followed, Jacqui said quietly, “You, Warrick, are going to ALS that room before I touch another paper clip.”

“You don’t think they really…?” Archie asked a dazed looking Bobby.

“What’s going on here, if I may ask?” Grissom came up behind the group quietly.

Bobby and Archie immediately fled for their respective labs, but Jacqui, Catherine and Warrick courageously stood their ground.

“We locked Greg and Nick in the supply closet so they could work something out,” Catherine stated boldly but nonspecifically.

“Oh, and how is it going?” Grissom asked mildly, scientific curiosity always trumping the supervisor in him.

“We’re not…exactly sure,” Jacqui said uncertainly.

“Let’s open the door and find out.” Grissom inserted his key.

“NO!” shouted Jacqui, Catherine and Warrick in unison.

Ignoring their agitated response, Grissom turned the key in the lock and opened the door. Jacqui covered her eyes, but peeked through her fingers.

Greg was sitting on one side of the room, leaning against the shelving, arms crossed, fully dressed with his lab coat in place. Nick was across the room in a similar pose. And although they both had cheeky grins on their faces, not a hair was out of place.

“Hi guys,” Greg bounced up and walked past the group huddled by the door. “This does not count as my break,” he said airily and disappeared toward his lab.

“Hey,” said Nick. He got up and pushed the bag of condoms into Warrick’s hands. “You left your supplies in there, man.” He punched Warrick in the shoulder, just a little harder than was strictly necessary, grinning at his friend’s open mouth and staring eyes, and brushed by him to go down the hall.

Grissom said, “I don’t understand what you were hoping to accomplish with this experiment. Anyone want to clue me in?”

“I will,” Catherine said bravely. “Let’s go to your office.”

Jacqui said, “They were having us on. Maggots!” She tossed her head and went off to her lab in a huff.

Warrick stood staring at the brown bag he held crushed to his chest. He shook his head slightly to collect his thoughts and hurried after Nick.

“Glow in the dark condoms, man? Is that so we could see where to put it?” Nick grinned at Warrick’s shocked face.

“You’re gay? You never told me,” Warrick said accusingly.

“You never told me you were straight,” Nick pointed out.

“But you and Greg! You’re…together?”

“Two years.”

“But I never knew.”

“We’re discreet. Not like some people.”

“Who?” Warrick demanded.

“You and Catherine,” said Nick unable to suppress a grin at Warrick’s dismayed face.


~*~




Inspired by Crossed Wires cunnane which you can find here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/nickngreg/245515.html#cutid1

And borrowed shamelessly (with permission) from darknight999 whose story is viggorli and can be found here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/darknight999/70262.html?view=644726#t644726

Date: 2005-08-27 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberkb.livejournal.com
Hee! That was great!

Date: 2005-08-27 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rednetra.livejournal.com
Glow in the dark condoms, man? Is that so we could see where to put it?” Nick grinned at Warrick’s shocked face.

“You’re gay? You never told me,” Warrick said accusingly.

“You never told me you were straight,” Nick pointed out.

“But you and Greg! You’re…together?”

“Two years.”

“But I never knew.”

“We’re discreet. Not like some people.”

“Who?” Warrick demanded.

“You and Catherine,” said Nick unable to suppress a grin at Warrick’s dismayed face.


this is just way to funny. thanks

Date: 2005-08-27 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forensicxjunkie.livejournal.com
you made me laugh, and therefore are in direct need of praise! *worships*...*re-reads*

Date: 2005-08-28 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cunnane.livejournal.com
Lol! That was much better than mine! Isn’t two years of foreplay long enough? *screams* YES! Tell that to TPTB! Very funny, and extremely well written.

~x~

Date: 2005-08-28 01:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fred-bear.livejournal.com
I know I already told you, but seriously you *killed* me with this one. ROTFLMFAO!!!! :D

Greg threw back his head and let out a really loud moan, “Oh, Nicky, right there…touch me! Oh! My! God!”

Jacqui snickered, “Ten bucks, Archie. I told you he was a screamer.”


Bawahahahahaha! I swear Greg's been watching "Days", and poor innocent Archie. ;) Oh, and I love the extra bits you included. So very excellent sweetheart. :)

Date: 2005-08-28 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fred-bear.livejournal.com
Oh a total and utter screamer babe! ;) And you're right Archie and Bobby need more fic time. Poor bobby, he was a bit hot and bothered wasn't he? ;)

Date: 2005-08-28 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fred-bear.livejournal.com
Ahahaha! :) I'm sure Nick would get a *lot* of practice.

*blushes* Well this wonderful beta is now off to buy groceries so she and the dog can eat. More in email later. :)

^______________^

Date: 2005-08-28 01:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yo-helena.livejournal.com
I LOVE YOU! This was too great. I mean, I was in stiches. I don't know whether you meant to, but Warrick raised his voice. “We left you something to help with…negotiations. In the paper bag. Check it out.” still makes me giggle unceremoniously.

And "Come be tall for me!" That's great. It's something I'd say if people weren't saying that to me. What if I need something on a low shelf? Should I wave over some random kid and say, "Come be short for me."

  • “Technically yes, but it’s a difficult position for a first time–” Bobby answered.

    “TMI, Bobby!” Archie protested, covering his ears.


  • In the long silence that followed, Jacqui said quietly, “You, Warrick, are going to ALS that room before I touch another paper clip.”

  • “You never told me you were straight,” Nick pointed out.

    C, I couldn't begin to list all my favorite parts. I'd be afraid to touch the paper clips too! Congrats: it was dirty without actually being dirty. *is gleeful* You're a goddess!
  • Re: ^______________^

    Date: 2005-08-29 06:30 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] kahlualeia.livejournal.com
    I love the favorite parts you listed. I've always wondered why people get so offended if gay people don't announce it. I mean straight people don't say, Hi, how do you do, I'm straight.

    hehehehehe- so funny!

    XOX

    P.S. I commented over at the [livejournal.com profile] ngchallenge community. A sentence or three may not be completly coherent in that, as I was tired and being stupid (there were only like tow comments and I kept thinking- HOW??? This is such a great fic! Forgot to check OVER HERE. Idiot :-P)

    Take care! If time permits, I may have something that I'd love you to beta for me tommorrow :-) Finally! I've got something (almost) ready to be posted! I've missed feedback n_n ::is also feedback whore::

    Date: 2005-08-28 03:24 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] littleminx.livejournal.com
    “You’re my Greedy Bottom Peeg,” Greg whispered, nuzzling Nick’s neck.

    “You, Warrick, are going to ALS that room before I touch another paper clip.”

    Wonderful! Beautiful! i giggled the whole way through!

    Date: 2005-08-28 10:34 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Don't think I forgot, I love Nick bottom, not enough, ever. So what do you do, write you own. Image tapping fingers still waiting, I need smut, make me feel better.

    Date: 2005-08-28 02:42 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] realm-of-red.livejournal.com
    OMG, that was too funny! My cats are looking at me weird because I'm laughing my ass off! Great fic!!!!

    cute

    Date: 2005-08-28 07:05 pm (UTC)
    From: (Anonymous)
    That was funny. I enjoyed that one!

    Date: 2005-08-28 10:30 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    That was hilarious, I could so see Greg "getting into the Part" and barely being able to supress his laughter. Great job!

    Date: 2005-08-30 04:33 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Oh, you know it, nothing like a bottom Nicky, and speakin of angst, I posted Part 3 on my LJ, it's called "Beauty in the Breakdown" in case your interested.

    Date: 2005-08-30 11:24 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Yeah, I got it, thanks, I made reread this, I need a laugh again. Was that a "good" thank you? I hope so, it was emotionally draining to write.

    Date: 2005-08-30 11:35 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Thanks, just having a shitty night, you know, one of those hard nights. and I'm now looking forward to it

    Date: 2005-08-31 12:14 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Thanks, those words were beautiful, but I don't know if I'm capable right now. Just you know, sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're fine, and sometimes, your just not. Hopefully it will pass.

    Date: 2005-08-31 12:51 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Thanks, just having people actually understand is a help, cause no one here does, and hubby is gone all week on business, so I'm a little stressed having the kiddies all by myself, it's hard. And sometimes I'm fine, then other times, I just, well you know. Just thanks for letting me vent on your fun story, sorry I had to vent all over it, forgive me. Maybe I should just read some adn try to forget, almsot bed time for kiddies, so I need some fun stuff. Once again, sorry, and thanks, you guys here understand more than anyone around here cares too.

    Date: 2005-08-31 01:23 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Thank you so much, I don't think you know how much your words on encouragement here tonight have helped, yeah sometimes I think only people here really understand, I DON'T like it, I don't enjoy it, and it is real, and I was one not to believe before. So, I guess that means no reading my stuff tonight, huh? Except maybe a little "Hungry Series" Thanks hun, your words have truly helped, love you Image

    Date: 2005-08-31 04:36 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    Image Ah, now you made me all squishy inside, thank you. Yeah, it's 11:30 so kiddies have been in date for several hours, I've had a little down time, and feeling little better. Thank you, cause I still feel like the new kid on the block sometimes, ya know, still get nervous about writing and posting, Thank you for you generous words tonight, you really have no idea how much you helped me tongith, really Image thanks agian, and I'm eatinga pint of B&J's Marsha Marsha Marshmellow, so that's bound to help Image

    Date: 2005-09-01 11:08 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] shacky20.livejournal.com
    I'm indulging, after bedtime for kiddes (only two hours now) I get dibs on ice cream, new kind tonight, Yum. I guess I always feel like a new kid, I'm extremely flattered that you think that of me, truly. I just started writing in January, and didn't really start writing until March, so I guess I feel like a newbie. I do feel better, just tired, two kiddies by myself all week, mommy is tired, but I have too much fun. I wondered what happened to you. Thanks again for your thoughts, I nice to know you guys care, I don't even have friends where I live that call me, so thanks again. Love you, Kelly

    Date: 2005-08-29 02:21 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] pknight.livejournal.com
    *dies from the funny cute*

    Oh, that was *wipes eyes* That was great!

    *continues chuckling*

    Date: 2005-08-29 03:52 pm (UTC)
    sillie: Aidan curls drawing (Boytouching)
    From: [personal profile] sillie
    Omg, to funny! *draws hearts around it and re-reads* :'3

    Date: 2005-08-29 06:24 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] csi-freak15.livejournal.com
    Okay...now my stomach hurts from laughing too much!!

    ctx :D

    Date: 2005-09-01 07:47 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] clyan-bunnies.livejournal.com
    “You’re my Greedy Bottom Peeg,” Greg whispered, nuzzling Nick’s neck.

    “Shut up! If they heard that–”

    “My Hot Texas Stud! Ride me!” Greg shouted.

    “You fucker!” Nick hissed and poked Greg in the ribs. “All right you asked for it.” He raised his voice and yelled, “So hot. So tight! Oh my precious Boo Boo Bear!”


    Oh goodness. I think I peed a little from all of that laughing.

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