Three Scales, chapter 2- "Libre Me"
Aug. 22nd, 2005 04:14 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Three Scales - Part 2- "Libre Me"
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fred_bear aka jennybel75
Chapters: 2/3
Rating: PG13, maybe R for one swear word
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimers: I don't own them, I just like playing with them.
Summary: Unrequited love's a bitch. Angst, pure and simple
A/N: Many, many thanks to my wonderful beta catloverx2 for all her support, advice and general wonderfulness! This is chapter 2 of 3 for this fic. Who'd have thought I could write a multi-parter?
X-posted at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
csi_slash
Three Scales, part 1- 3 Libras
Part 2- Libre Me
And now, here we are, driving back from scene that Grissom saw fit to assign us both to. God was obviously having a little joke and decided that if I didn’t believe in him, then he wasn’t going to believe in Nick Stokes.
I can see you glancing over at me, wondering why I’m not talking to you I guess, your dark angelic eyes gleaming with a curious intensity, and I’m more than grateful for the distraction of the rain beating against the windshield; it means I have a legitimate excuse for ignoring you.
I just can’t trust myself to talk to you right now, I know I’d say something I’d regret, something that would make you never want to see me again. And that’s the last thing I want. You don’t want me, I know that, but quite frankly I’ll settle for anything I can get at this point in time and if all that it can be is colleagues, well, then that will do.
Or at least that’s what I thought when we were all in the break room while Grissom was handing out assignments, but now I’m not sure. Just sitting in the same room with you was torture enough, but at least we had distance between us. And at the scene it was all business, professional guys doing their job with Warrick there to buffer any awkwardness. Now though, with ’Rick called back to the lab early and you sitting less than an arm’s length away, it’s all I can do to concentrate on my breathing and driving at the same time.
And even that doesn’t seem to be working too well right now.
God damn it, I can’t believe it, I can not fucking believe it. Why do I let you have this power over me? What is it about you that makes me go weak at the knees, hitch my breath and shiver every time you even look at me, let alone flash that damn smile my way?
Breathe Nick, just breathe. Accept it for what it is, accept it as something that can never happen. Be happy for him, be his friend and be content with that.
I don’t even realise how tense I am until we finally turn into the CSI parking lot. I turn off the Tahoe and relax slightly, fully expecting you to jump out of the car and head back into the lab at Greg-speed.
“Hey, umm, Nick, I was wondering…”
Oh shit, no, don’t talk to me. “Yes?”
“Well, I was wondering, you see I’m having this party and…”
No, Christ, no. Ok, think quick, yes I’m happy for you, but she’ll be there and I’m just not ready to deal with that yet. Fuck it; they say honesty’s the best policy, right?
“Um, Greg. Look. Right. You know how we both had last night off yeah?”
“Yeah. But what–”
“Well, okay, I uh… I saw you waiting in line at the movies.”
“Hey man, you should have come over and said something, then I could have introduced you to Bel–”
“Yeah, well about that Greg. I, ah, I saw you kissing her.”
And there it is, that small, knowing smirk hovering about your lips. The smirk that has featured in more of my night-time fantasies than I care to think about.
“And I think it’s great, really, totally, that you’ve met someone you’re happy with Greg, but, uh, I, uh, I just don’t think I can meet her right now. Give me a little time, yeah, and we’ll be good. Just a little time.”
I see you take a breath and your mouth opens but I don’t wait to hear what you have to say, I don’t even look across at you as I make my escape from the truck back into the relative safety of the lab, running almost smack bang into Warrick.
“Hey Nicky, check it out man, what are you running away from?”
“Nothing, it’s just pissing down out there, that’s all. Trying to keep the evidence dry you know? Gotta get it to Trace, catch you later.”
Without a backward glance I take off again, albeit a little more calmly this time and make my way to the Trace lab. Breathing a sigh of relief at the lack of Hodges, I toss the evidence into the in-tray and bypass the locker room, ready to go home and try to find some peace.
They say confession is good for the soul but I don’t feel any better for having told you how I feel. I laid myself bare to you and why? Really, what was I hoping to achieve? ‘Cos I certainly don’t feel I’ve accomplished anything but ruin a perfectly good friendship. God, I just want to forget this day ever happened. Fuck, completely forget this whole week ever happened. But if I could, would I want to forget I ever met you, forget how I feel about you? Right now I just don’t know.
Author:
fred_bear aka jennybel75Chapters: 2/3
Rating: PG13, maybe R for one swear word
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimers: I don't own them, I just like playing with them.
Summary: Unrequited love's a bitch. Angst, pure and simple
A/N: Many, many thanks to my wonderful beta catloverx2 for all her support, advice and general wonderfulness! This is chapter 2 of 3 for this fic. Who'd have thought I could write a multi-parter?
X-posted at
csi_slashThree Scales, part 1- 3 Libras
Part 2- Libre Me
And now, here we are, driving back from scene that Grissom saw fit to assign us both to. God was obviously having a little joke and decided that if I didn’t believe in him, then he wasn’t going to believe in Nick Stokes.
I can see you glancing over at me, wondering why I’m not talking to you I guess, your dark angelic eyes gleaming with a curious intensity, and I’m more than grateful for the distraction of the rain beating against the windshield; it means I have a legitimate excuse for ignoring you.
I just can’t trust myself to talk to you right now, I know I’d say something I’d regret, something that would make you never want to see me again. And that’s the last thing I want. You don’t want me, I know that, but quite frankly I’ll settle for anything I can get at this point in time and if all that it can be is colleagues, well, then that will do.
Or at least that’s what I thought when we were all in the break room while Grissom was handing out assignments, but now I’m not sure. Just sitting in the same room with you was torture enough, but at least we had distance between us. And at the scene it was all business, professional guys doing their job with Warrick there to buffer any awkwardness. Now though, with ’Rick called back to the lab early and you sitting less than an arm’s length away, it’s all I can do to concentrate on my breathing and driving at the same time.
And even that doesn’t seem to be working too well right now.
God damn it, I can’t believe it, I can not fucking believe it. Why do I let you have this power over me? What is it about you that makes me go weak at the knees, hitch my breath and shiver every time you even look at me, let alone flash that damn smile my way?
Breathe Nick, just breathe. Accept it for what it is, accept it as something that can never happen. Be happy for him, be his friend and be content with that.
I don’t even realise how tense I am until we finally turn into the CSI parking lot. I turn off the Tahoe and relax slightly, fully expecting you to jump out of the car and head back into the lab at Greg-speed.
“Hey, umm, Nick, I was wondering…”
Oh shit, no, don’t talk to me. “Yes?”
“Well, I was wondering, you see I’m having this party and…”
No, Christ, no. Ok, think quick, yes I’m happy for you, but she’ll be there and I’m just not ready to deal with that yet. Fuck it; they say honesty’s the best policy, right?
“Um, Greg. Look. Right. You know how we both had last night off yeah?”
“Yeah. But what–”
“Well, okay, I uh… I saw you waiting in line at the movies.”
“Hey man, you should have come over and said something, then I could have introduced you to Bel–”
“Yeah, well about that Greg. I, ah, I saw you kissing her.”
And there it is, that small, knowing smirk hovering about your lips. The smirk that has featured in more of my night-time fantasies than I care to think about.
“And I think it’s great, really, totally, that you’ve met someone you’re happy with Greg, but, uh, I, uh, I just don’t think I can meet her right now. Give me a little time, yeah, and we’ll be good. Just a little time.”
I see you take a breath and your mouth opens but I don’t wait to hear what you have to say, I don’t even look across at you as I make my escape from the truck back into the relative safety of the lab, running almost smack bang into Warrick.
“Hey Nicky, check it out man, what are you running away from?”
“Nothing, it’s just pissing down out there, that’s all. Trying to keep the evidence dry you know? Gotta get it to Trace, catch you later.”
Without a backward glance I take off again, albeit a little more calmly this time and make my way to the Trace lab. Breathing a sigh of relief at the lack of Hodges, I toss the evidence into the in-tray and bypass the locker room, ready to go home and try to find some peace.
They say confession is good for the soul but I don’t feel any better for having told you how I feel. I laid myself bare to you and why? Really, what was I hoping to achieve? ‘Cos I certainly don’t feel I’ve accomplished anything but ruin a perfectly good friendship. God, I just want to forget this day ever happened. Fuck, completely forget this whole week ever happened. But if I could, would I want to forget I ever met you, forget how I feel about you? Right now I just don’t know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 10:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 11:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 03:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 07:11 pm (UTC)Can't wait to see part number 3!
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 12:13 pm (UTC)And even if it's "fannon" I don't necessarily think it has to be true, which is what made this story so good. Surprise, you should be careful when you make assumptions!! Doesn't happen to me often and I love it when it does. ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 01:04 pm (UTC)Thanks... did you happen to catch the second part? *does the self-pimpage*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 10:24 pm (UTC)Oh, and if we're doing self pimpage, all my other fics are linked on my journal. ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 10:33 pm (UTC)http://www.livejournal.com/users/michigangirl30/35814.html#cutid1
*runs off to check out fred bear's lj*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 02:17 am (UTC)Le sigh.
(I-love-that-Nick-is-the-one-without-the-new-girlfriendboyfriend)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 03:27 am (UTC)Poor old Nicky, he's just not used to being the poor lovelorn one.