Attempt 2 at posting fic!

[geordiebabe-saz.livejournal.com]

Title: What I have with you

Rating: 15

Pairing: Nick/Greg

Summary: slightly AU Nick/Greg post VLV. Greg soon finds failing his proficiency test isn’t as bad as it first seems.

Everybody’s watching you now, everybody waits for you now, what happens, what happens next

He shook his head slightly as he heard the words, tried to dismiss any thoughts that somehow that was the way it had been before today, that maybe everybody had been watching him while he had been taking that extra trip into the field to get the experience of what CSI work was really like; while he had been studying when not busy with processing for evidence for the others had they been watching him? waiting in anticipation for the moment when he screwed up and proved them all right that the only place he was good for, the only place he was destined to stay was the DNA lab? After seeing Nick and Warrick betting on him somehow the chances seemed greater than they had when he had first decided to make the leap from the lab to the field.

I dare you to move, I dare you to move like today never happened, today never happened

It had been raining since he had left the lab, had been smacking down off the window of his car with such intenseness that it scared him a little; somehow when it rained like it was, rained so heavily that it made driving difficult and made him feel so damn depressed he always expected thunder and lightening also, had remembered thunder storms as a child that had scared him so with the mere intensity of them and had made him love the warmth so much more than he did the cold. The weather seemed to reflect his mood at that moment he mused, the rain having always been the type of weather condition that made him feel so miserable that he just wanted to stay indoors until the sun returned and everything was back to the way he thought it should be; of course after his proficiency, after David Hodges showing him up in front of Grissom he was already ready to just go to bed and never get back up again because he wished that the whole day had never occurred, wished that he could turn back the hands of time and not screw up his proficiency test.

Maybe redemption and stories to tell, maybe forgiveness is back where you fell, where can you run to escape from yourself

Sighing heavily he reached over to the CD player and switched it off, the music was fast becoming an annoyance to him and somehow he didn’t want to be any more agitated than he was now knowing Allie would notice, would try and get him to talk and when she couldn’t she would get Nick to start in and right now he couldn’t be bothered with all of that; he’d left Nick back at the lab deep in conversation with the others when he’d had to leave early to go pick up Allie, had loudly announced to the room that he was on his way out but had got absolutely no response from his partner and so here he was now on his way to the babysitter‘s, his cell phone switched off not wanting to hear anything from Nick after being both ignored and bet on all in one evening.

I really needed him today and he can’t even be bothered to speak to me, guess that shows me where I stand at least

Pulling up into the street he reversed onto the driveway of the babysitter’s house and grabbing the keys from the ignition switched the engine off and quickly ran to the door trying his best to avoid getting completely soaked before banging loudly on the door; somehow the last thing he wanted was to get the flu or even worse, pneumonia. Glancing around as he waited somehow he couldn’t help denying that he really did like this street, that he felt comfortable enough knowing when Allie was here and he was working his ass off trying to make enough money to keep their heads above water she was safe.

“Oh Greg hey, you’re pretty early.”

“I convinced my boss to be nice and let me leave 20 minutes before the others.”

“Nice one, so how did the test go?”

“Nothing personal Jessica but I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“No problem, you wanna come in for a drink or something?”

“Nah I’m ok thanks, I just wanna get home and get to bed.”

“I’ll get Allie then.”

Smiling appreciatively towards her before she retreated back into the house he shoved his hands into the back pocket of his jeans in some futile attempt to feel even just a little warmer; somehow he had never been good with the cold, had always blamed growing up in California on accustoming him to a climate that neither San Francisco or Las Vegas could offer and even after 7 years of living of in Vegas he was still yet to adjust to the difference in the weather.

“You sure you don’t wanna come in for a drink?”

“Really I’m good, gotta get her to bed and no doubt Nick will show up after his shift is over.”

“I’ll guess I’ll see you next week then.”

“Will do, hey thanks again Jess for this.”

“No problem.”

Taking his sleeping daughter from Jessica he balanced her on his hip, her head resting on his shoulder as she went on sleeping undisturbed and quickly rushed back to his car trying to shield Allie from the weather as best as he could; strapping her into her seat in the back of the car he quickly clambered back into the driver’s seat and sped away his mind focused only on getting home and getting some sleep while Jessica watched from her door until the black Tahoe was out of her vision then retreated back indoors.

“Thank god you’re not old enough to understand how bad I screwed up.”

Sighing heavily he was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the sound of his pager ringing out in the back pocket of his jeans; keeping one hand fixed on the steering wheel he fished the offending pager that was threatening to wake the sleeping girl in the back of the car not surprised in the least to see that it was a page from Nick.

I could talk to him for a few minutes, just to shut him up I guess

Dropping the pager onto the passenger seat he grabbed the phone from the glove compartment and switched it on then quickly dialling Nick’s cell phone waited patiently before hearing a slightly pissed off CSI answer; somehow he knew the last thing he needed was to argue with him, that would definitely make the day officially crappy.

“What the hell Greg?! I’ve been trying to call you for 25 minutes now.”

“Hey I assumed you were too busy talking to speak to me so I figured if I switched my cell off I’d make it a little easier for you.”

“What have I done wrong exactly?”

“Well we could start with the betting on me with Warrick for one, then ignoring me all evening.”

“I wasn’t betting on you and I wasn‘t ignoring you, if I did it was unintentional and I‘m sorry.”

“Seemed a lot like it, you see I thought you of all people would have wanted for me to succeed but then I guess I was wrong; I’ve just had a really shit day and I can’t be bothered to argue with you now, I wanna go to bed and forget the whole thing ever happened.”

“We all make mistakes sometimes baby, you’re only human.”

“That may be true but christ even Hodges knew better, fucking Hodges could do better than I did.”

“No he couldn’t. We weren’t betting on you Greggo, we were betting on how long she’d last.”

“It’s just, I just knew I was gonna screw up somehow, maybe I didn’t think it straight off but definitely subconsciously I knew I was going to fail again…hell probably most of you all knew I was going to crash and burn with that test; I just, I thought I was going to do it and not have to face being in the lab anymore and I couldn’t. Not only did I let myself down but I let Allie down too, I let you down.”

“Ok get this straight you’re not going to let me or Allie down by failing your proficiency test, its not that easy. Greg we love you and that’s the whole unconditional thing, in Allie’s eyes you could work in McDonalds and still be her hero; me, you don’t need to be anyone other than who you already are because that’s who I love.”

“You make it so fucking difficult to be mad at you.”

“I know; where are you?”

“Almost home. I just need my bed so bad right now, you?”

“Having breakfast with the guys.”

“And you’re talking to me? Are you out of your mind?”

“Okay calm down I’m not sitting with them right now.”

“Good, so are you coming over after you’ve finished there or are you going home to the apartment you haven’t seen in like 6 months?”

“What do you think?”

He couldn’t help but smile as the image of Nick hiding around some corner out of hearing distance talking to him entered into his mind, couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of him trying to hide from the others as he spoke to him telling him things only Nick would want him to hear ; he’d known the answer to his question before he even had put it out there, knew more than anything when Nick finished with the others he’d be clambering into bed next to him, snaking his arms around his waist and holding him tightly in a way that made him feel so safe, that made him know Nick was there for him and at those moments, those moments he had once never imagined happened he knew that Nick really did love him more than anything.

“Y’know I’m still 15 minutes away from home, keep me awake or I really think I’m going to be faced with causing some major accident.”

“Put a CD on then.”

“Oh yeah and then that’ll wake Allie which’ll make her grouchy and I don’t have the energy to deal with a grouchy 4 year old.”

“She okay?”

“She’s fine; y’know its so cute the way you do that now, worry about her like that.”

“How is it you manage to turn any real concern I have for her or you and make it out to be ‘cute’?”

“Cause’ it is!”

“It is not! I’m a grown man Greggo, things I do are not cute anymore.”

“I beg to differ.”

“I am not cute damnit!”

“Ok I’ve had a lot of people upset when I haven’t said they were attractive but I’ve never had anyone argue with me when I do compliment them; you’re so strange Stokes but that’s why I love you.”

“Come on after 2 ½ years together you should already know that; maybe not as strange as you but still a little offbeat.”

Sighing heavily Greg knew that they would have to end their conversation in a matter of minutes; they both knew what the others were like, knew that as soon Nick got back to them they’d ask who he’d been talking to and somehow as much as he hated having to cut their conversation short on top everything that was going at the moment he knew he couldn’t handle the others asking about their relationship, wouldn’t be able to deal with the gossip that would eventually make its way round the labs if anyone were to find out about the two of them.

“They’re gonna start asking questions if you stay away any longer.”

“I know, I’ll see you at home okay.”

“You mean my place right?”

“Whatever; love you.”

“I love you too.”

On hearing the sound of the dial tone Greg sighed before throwing his cell phone onto the passenger seat before quickly glancing to Allie; no matter how reluctant he was to tell his family about their relationship, to tell them the truth about himself there was no doubt that Nick really did love the lab tech and Allie and for the moment that was more than okay for the both of them.