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Jul. 11th, 2005 03:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Baby Steps 5: Lost in Your Eyes
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Spoilers: Grave Danger
Disclaimer: I do not own but I like borrow them to give them exercise and help keep them in shape before I put them back. And they're in such good shape that they are All Naked All The Time in this chapter.
Thank you to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
godgaleshot, fred_bear and kahlualeiafor their insightful beta.
A special thank you todawn_rogue for the translations. Btw, she posted that she was willing to do Spanish translation for us.
Warm.
He felt warm and relaxed, too lazy to move. Surfacing slowly out of a deep sleep, drowsily taking in the dim light filtering through the curtains, muffled sounds of the quiet breeze and birds chirping, warm arms around him. He could feel himself rising and falling with each deep breath Greg took. He took in a deep breath. Greg smelled better than coffee.
“Mmmm,” Nick hummed, “I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.”
“What was that?” Greg mumbled sleepily.
“I said I could wake up like this every day,” Nick replied, nuzzling Greg’s neck.
“Maybe you could,” Greg grumbled, “But my arm’s asleep.”
Nick laughed and rolled over onto his back, dragging Greg on top and holding him close. “Better?”
“Mmmm, yeah. I could wake up like this every day,” Greg snuggled closer and sighed contentedly.
Nick kissed Greg’s shoulder. “Hey,” Nick noticed suddenly, “What are you doing in bed with me?”
“Nicky, this is the guest bedroom. I belong here. You should be asking why you're here.” Greg chuckled with his eyes shut tight.
Memories of last night started coming back to Nick. He vaguely remembered crying, being held, stumbling up the stairs leaning heavily on Greg and finally falling onto a bed. He remembered what he’d said last night to his parents and that he’d finally told them. Oddly, he didn’t feel traumatized or anxious. He felt sort of … peaceful.
“So, you wanna get up?”
“No,” Greg groaned. “I feel like a truck hit me, backed up and ran over me again to make sure I was dead.”
“Um, do my parents know I’m staying in your room, G?” Nick asked cautiously.
“Yeah,” Greg yawned. “No secrets left. Are you… doing okay after last night?”
“I think I’m okay.” Well, what do you know? I might actually be okay.
“Will you be okay if I sleep in?”
“No, I want you to get up and play with me,” Nick whined teasingly, poking Greg in the ribs.
Greg tightened his arms around Nick in relief. Nick was so guarded about sharing what he thought were his weaknesses that Greg wasn’t exactly sure what to expect after last night’s meltdown. The part of Nick that rarely came out to play was the last thing he anticipated, but okay, he’d take it.
“I’ll play with you later, just let me sleep a while,” Greg brushed Nick’s fingers away. “You’re being a brat.” He yawned.
“Geek.”
“Frat-boy.”
“Lab rat.”
“Redneck.”
“You dance like a monkey.”
“You do country line dances,” Greg pointed out.
“Okay, I guess you win that one.”
Greg snuggled against Nick, starting to drift off to sleep again.
“Come on, just get up and take a shower with me, and then you can go right back to sleep,” Nick whispered in Greg’s ear.
Greg stretched and yawned, “Do you promise not to jump me in the shower?”
“I promise to jump you in the shower,” Nick chuckled and pulled them both out of bed.
“Wait – that’s not the deal…”
Nick dragged Greg squirming and protesting into the bathroom and held him with one arm while he started the shower, testing the water. Then he pushed Greg in, thanking whoever invented non-skid shower floors, and pulled the door shut behind them.
Greg yelped as the water hit him but Nick wrapped his arms around him and held him close as they swayed together getting used to the soothing warmth of the spray.
“Nick, how – mmph – ” Nick leaned in for an affectionate kiss, running his tongue over Greg’s lower lip, nipping it lightly, sucking it in, then using his tongue to nudge Greg’s warm lips open. Their tongues met, feather light, barely brushing together, warm and wet in open mouths. Nick closed his mouth over Greg’s, getting lost in a sudden memory of their first kiss.
Their first kiss was so perfect, their mouths fit together as if made for each other. It was that kiss that everyone searches for but can’t exactly describe. Nick never had a first kiss feel so right. No fumbling, no tentative awkwardness, just warm lips and tongue. They playfully battled for control, switching the lead back and forth between them. Greg’s fingers were entwined with his, holding his hands as his mouth held Nick’s captive. Finally they broke away for air. Nick couldn’t speak. It might break the spell of this perfect kiss he’d been searching for all his life. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he had found the kiss with a man, who also happened to be his coworker and his friend. He didn’t want to worry about the next day. He was just so afraid that Greg wouldn’t want to kiss him again, that this was an accident or that he was dreaming. But then Greg leaned almost imperceptibly closer and waited. Waited for Nick to close the distance between them, making it clear that the next kiss was Nick’s choice.
Greg followed Nick’s lead, content to hold hands and kiss in the shower. The tight rein Nick kept on himself had snapped last night with the heartrending cry that pulled Greg off the stairs to fly to Nick’s side. That anguished scream was the most pained expression of grief he’d ever heard and nothing could have kept him away from Nick at that moment, no matter what Nick’s parents thought. He knew, more than anyone else, how Nick guarded his demons and he was horribly afraid that Nick would turn away from him after having revealed so much. He was so grateful to have his lover back, kissing him slowly in the shower that he was willing to stand there till the shower got cold if that’s what Nick wanted. Though he had to admit, after being ruthlessly hauled out of bed at the crack of dawn, a cold shower was not the reward he had in mind.
Nick came up for air again and just stood still, letting his gaze wander over Greg, caressing him with his eyes, lingering on his half-hard cock and ass. Nick ran his hands over Greg’s slippery body, sliding down his flanks, pressing his waist, wandering to his back, sliding over the scars marking the soft skin. He bent to lick and suck one of Greg’s nipples till it hardened under his tongue. He feathered his fingers lightly along the sensitive curve of the pelvic bone, feeling the responsive shudder that Greg always gave when he brushed over the right nerve. Nick licked a hot line up Greg’s neck, biting down lightly, reveling in the delicious strangled moan that elicited.
Nick let his hand drift down Greg’s back to brush the cleft of his cheeks lightly, pleased with the immediate response of a soft moan and buck of the hips. He put one hand on Greg’s hip to hold him steady and allowed his other hand to cup and gently caress the curve of Greg’s ass. Greg raised his arms to grab him but Nick pressed them back to his sides and continued to slide his hands over Greg’s skin, tracing small patterns on his flat stomach, palms cupping his ass, alternately stroking the soft skin and kneading the firm muscles.
Greg stood there and gave himself over to the loving exploration of hands and eyes. His breath caught in his throat, his chest tightened and his treacherous cock twitched and hardened as he felt the heat of his lover’s gaze. “You’re so beautiful, Greg,” Nick said in a tone of wonder as he saw the trust and love shining in Greg’s eyes.
“I think you’re beautiful too,” Greg whispered. His eyes roamed from the muscled torso and toned arms, erect cock and curved bottom to broad shoulders, the golden skin still showing marks from the ants and finally to Nick’s wondering eyes.
Greg gasped and his eyes fluttered shut when Nick leaned in to kiss first one nipple, then the other, licking down the middle of his chest, swirling his tongue in Greg’s belly button, then down the faint line of dark hair leading to his cock. This prolonged exploration was making Greg achingly hard and he felt his knees start to wobble.
Nick pulled Greg into a hug, one hand caressing the back of his neck, the other flat on Greg’s lower back, middle finger nudging between his cheeks, stroking, getting nearer the hidden entrance as he ground his hips against Greg. Nick could feel Greg’s heart pounding against his chest.
Nick turned Greg around and felt him relax, leaning back into him as he soothingly swayed them both back and forth from one foot to the other. Nick held Greg around the waist with his left arm, pinning Greg’s arm to his side. His hand caressed the column of Greg’s muscular neck, his thumb dipping into the enticing hollow between his collarbones, making a little circle over and over. He shivered feeling the curve of Greg’s buttocks pressing back into his groin.
The fingers of his left hand flexed into Greg’s waist, pressing into the warm silky skin, feeling the satisfying firmness of muscle underneath. He allowed his right hand to drift downward cupping Greg’s shoulder and then further down again to brush over his left nipple. Under his hand he could feel Greg’s ribcage hitch as his breath started to quicken. Greg tried to raise his hand to cover one of Nick’s but Nick pinned both arms to his sides, as he gently pinched Greg’s nipple with greater pressure, then caressed away the sting.
Greg gasped and melted into Nick’s heated touch, mesmerized by Nick’s hands moving possessively over his skin. Nick licked Greg’s neck, then bit down hard, sucking his skin and marking him.
Greg pushed his ass back against Nick’s erection sliding up and down in the cleft of his cheeks. He felt the pressure of desire start building in his groin from the slow sensuous pace of Nick’s seduction, but tried desperately to maintain control.
Nick’s right hand wandered lower again to trace down Greg’s left hip bone, lightly covering it, cupping and circling, letting his fingers feather slowly up and down the line where Greg’s upper thigh met his groin, teasing that sensitive area, smiling as he felt Greg’s hips start to flex. Still gripping Greg’s waist with his left hand, he allowed his thumb to slide upward till he found Greg’s right nipple, stroking his thumb over it again and again.
Greg gasped, knowing that Nick was aware of just how much this was undoing him. He couldn’t stop his breath from coming out in loud erratic gasps and broken moans. It was all he could do to stop himself from begging Nick for what he wanted. He dropped his head back on Nick’s shoulder and Nick’s right hand came up, his fingers on Greg’s neck and his thumb sliding up under Greg’s jaw line, pressing his chin to the right and holding him there so Nick could lean forward and flick his tongue into Greg’s mouth. Greg groaned, trying to capture Nick’s tongue and suck on it but the angle was awkward and all he could do was allow his mouth to surrender to Nick’s tongue darting in and out.
Nick slowly slid his right hand back down Greg’s body, back to the join of thigh and groin, teasing the sensitive area with gentle strokes, gradually ghosting over Greg’s lower abdomen to trail his fingers lightly through Greg’s pubic hair, enjoying the shuddering response of his lover’s body. He barely brushed the base of Greg’s erection, feeling the hardness straining upward. Greg’s hips bucked involuntarily and in answer Nick ground his cock harder against Greg’s cleft.
Greg felt like his cock couldn’t get any harder. But then it did as he felt Nick’s hand brushing softly around the base and his hips flexed more forcefully now. He ground his ass back against Nick as hard as he could, hoping to provoke the other man into more direct action. The soft touches were almost too much for him without any actual contact and he gasped for breath, groaning and whimpering. His arms were still pinned and all he could do to signal Nick how much he wanted him was to arch back against him helplessly inside the prison of his arms. Speech was beyond him at this point although he thought he could hear someone moaning, “please… please…” but surely his voice had never sounded so… beseeching. He gasped and started babbling as Nick’s hand finally closed around his cock, feeling a jolt of desire blaze through him, weakening his knees even more.
Nick rocked harder against Greg’s ass, unrecognizable moans he couldn’t stop coming from his own throat. “I need to be inside you, love.” Nick’s voice cracked with need. “I need to feel you.” Greg gulped and nodded, eyes closed, sagging against Nick. “Need you…inside me…” Greg rasped in a voice rough with the intensity of his answering desire.
Greg felt Nick moving him forward, bracing his hands on the wall. He staggered and moaned at the cold draft as Nick was suddenly gone. Before he could open his eyes, he felt Nick’s warmth against his back again, and Nick’s feet kicking his legs apart. Greg looked back over his shoulder to catch the intense gaze devouring him alive, shaken at the desperate need in Nick’s face. Nick pressed against Greg, trying to regain his own control as he gripped the base of his cock trying to keep from ending everything before anything started.
Frantic fingers pressed into Greg’s opening. He pushed back against Nick’s hand, bending over further to allow Nick better access, spreading his legs wider. Two slick fingers pressed roughly inside and he gasped at the sudden intrusion, struggling to relax. Before he could adjust, the fingers were gone and Nick’s hard cock entered him in one long solid slide.
Nick buried himself as deep as he could inside Greg. He couldn’t seem to slow down, thrusting convulsively into the maddening silky heat, pushing Greg hard against the tile. Nick wrapped one arm tightly around Greg’s waist, immobilizing him. He felt Greg open for him, accepting him, tight heat enveloping him, making his cock pulse and throb even more.
Greg moaned with pleasure at each hard thrust filling him, each rapturous gasp earning him another forceful stroke that brushed over his sweet spot, making white hot sparks dance before his eyes. He leaned over further, pushing his ass back with each plunge, driving Nick’s cock in even deeper.
“Eres tan ardiente, tan estrecho, amor mío.”* Nick thrust harder and faster, frantically pounding into the pliant body before him. His frenzied breathing matched his erratic pace as he heard Greg gasp, “harder… come for me…oh, God, Nick…” His stomach muscles clenched, feeling the rush raging in his groin and he thrust deeper and then deeper, spilling himself into the supple body pinned under him with a harsh groan.
He collapsed against Greg, gasping and spent. “God, Greg… I’m sorry… I don’t know… what came over me. Are you… are you okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you…” Nick turned Greg around anxiously. Relief swept over him as he saw Greg’s erection and his eyes dazed with excitement, chest heaving.
“Jesus,” breathed Greg, “I thought you were…going to drill me to the wall!”
“I’m sorry–”
“Don’t be… that was… great,” Greg panted, pushing down weakly on Nick’s shoulders. “Suck me. Now…please…”
Nick went to his knees before Greg, pressing one hand over Greg’s hip to hold him against the wall. Nick smiled and wet his lips as he saw that Greg’s cock was so hard it was standing up against his stomach. He licked along Greg’s shaft, savoring the taste and the feel of hot velvet skin covering rock hard muscle.
Looking down, Greg gasped as Nick teasingly took the head of his rigid cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue. At the sight of his cock disappearing into Nick’s mouth he let out a pathetic whimper and rolled his head from side to side frantically against the tile. Nick continued to tease him, licking from base to shaft, sucking softly at the head.
Losing patience with Nick’s painfully slow progress Greg grabbed Nick’s hair in his hands. “Just suck me, dammit!” he growled between clenched teeth. Keeping his grip on Nick’s hair, he started rocking into Nick’s mouth, face fucking him, moaning and whimpering. Greg felt Nick’s hot tongue swirling around his cock doing that tongue thing that only Nick could do as he relaxed his throat to take Greg’s deepest thrusts.
Greg closed his eyes as Nick sucked as hard as he could, rolling Greg’s balls between his fingers. Greg was shaking with every thrust and Nick could tell he was close, so he pressed on the tight skin behind his balls and swallowed around him as Greg shot down his throat with a strangled cry. He kept Greg’s cock in his mouth, sucking gently till his body completely stilled, licking him clean. As he felt Greg’s knees buckle, he stood up and pressed his weight against Greg, keeping him upright against the wall.
“God, Nick,” whispered Greg, “This doesn’t say much for our staying power.”
Nick gave a shaky laugh. “Guess not. How are you feeling?”
“Cold. Kiss me.”
Nick pulled Greg back under the water and kissed his swollen lips gently, holding him with trembling arms. Greg was loosely draped over Nick, showing no signs of life.
“No condom, huh?” he murmured.
“No time, sorry. It was all I could do to get the lube,” Nick murmured back. “Did you hate it?”
“Christ, no, that was… great. Greater than great! Maybe we should only fuck in the shower from now on.”
“No quickies? No Sunday only-get-out-of-bed-to-order-pizza sex? No outdoorsy fun in the great wilderness? No–”
“Okay, Nick, you made your point.”
“Can you stand up?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Nick soaped up a washcloth. He tenderly washed his lover’s body, noting the slight wince as he passed the cloth between Greg’s cheeks.
“Gonna feel that a while,” Greg murmured.
Nick smirked proudly, although he didn’t let Greg catch him at it.
Nick lathered his hands with shampoo and washed and rinsed Greg’s hair, massaging his head slowly and sensuously. Greg hummed with contentment.
Pulling Greg out of the shower, he dried him off and rubbed his hair dry enough so he could go back to bed. Greg stood and yawned like a five-year-old being tended. Nick led him back to the bed and tucked him in. He leaned over and kissed him softly, “Thank you, baby, for understanding…everything.” Greg was already asleep.
Nick yawned and stretched. He was thinking of breakfast but suddenly sleep seemed so much more enticing. He crawled in next to Greg and curled around him. As he felt himself relax into a puddle of contentment, Nick could feel Greg’s arms come up to surround him protectively.
“Tan hermoso,” he kissed each eyelid. “Tan hermoso y mío. Te quiero, mi vida. No sé que haría sin tí. Te querré siempre. Quiero envejecer contigo y amarte para siempre”**
He looked at the dark lashes fanning across pale cheeks and his dangerously romantic thoughts were interrupted when a faint snore from Greg restored his sense of humor.
Nick felt the sting of tears as he wondered where funny, open, silly, smart-as-hell Greg, got that inner core of strength that sometimes had to carry them both. He was too tired to cry right now and though he had a sense that there were many tears waiting for him, he knew that Greg would be there with him to catch every one. His last conscious thought was, “Damn, I bet this is going to put his arm to sleep again,” but he was too tired to do anything about it. And Nick slept.
~*~
Greg woke up to feel Nick’s hand gently stroking his back. He was lying on his stomach and as he cleared his throat and moved, he felt Nick lean in and kiss the scar on his neck. He smiled and just lay there, enjoying the soft caresses.
“How did you… turn out so normal after…everything?”
Greg rolled over and looked up at Nick. Nick looked nervous and uncertain and Greg wanted more than anything to reassure him.
“What do you mean by everything?” he asked.
“Growing up with your parents, finding out you were gay, the explosion.”
Greg sighed and looked away. Nick was the closed one, who tried to hold all his secrets darkly inside. Whenever Nick pushed him away, Greg worried that he didn’t deserve the love and affection he wanted from Nick. Losing Nick scared him and it felt all too real after the events of the past month. He asked himself if he was ready to get this vulnerable with Nick? If this thing between them didn’t work out losing the love he dreamed of sharing with Nick would be too much for Greg to handle. He didn’t feel like he could go through feeling so devastated again. Can two broken halves ever make a perfect whole? Greg had a feeling that they were once again about to take a step into the unknown and he wanted more than anything for them to take it together. He wanted desperately to get this right. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he stepped off the edge.
“What exactly are you asking me, Nick?”
“I know you go to therapy since the explosion,” Nick faltered, “But does it help? Talking about… stuff?”
“What stuff, Nick?” Greg wasn’t sure how hard to push but it seemed like Nick needed to say something about how he was feeling if he was ever going to face his issues. And if this new closeness building between them was going to last, they would need to start talking about things more directly.
“Feelings. Feeling… helpless.” And there it was, that little squirm at the word. Hearing that made Greg feel like if Nick could say that, then he could say…
“After the… explosion,” there, it was out, he’d said it. “After the explosion… at first it was all about handling the pain. At the hospital, the doctors recommended therapy but I didn’t want to do it. I mean, I know it’s stupid, you read about therapy helping other people but I felt like I’m a man, I can handle this, you know?”
Nick nodded, rapt.
“So I didn’t go. I had to go to the department therapist but I only went for the required amount of sessions. I was smarter than he was and it was easy to just tell him a bunch of words that he wanted to hear and get out of there.”
“Then how did you get to your therapist?”
“Remember you used to take me to physical therapy?”
“Oh yeah, how could I forget Lloyd,” Nick grinned.
“Right, bear-hug Lloyd,” Greg reminisced. “He couldn’t hug me regular because of the burns so he hugged my legs,” Greg laughed. “And he took it out on you. I loved that time he picked you up and carried you around the clinic.”
“Yeah, that was a trip. He’s great. He really helped you with that range of motion thing,” Nick grinned.
“He helped with more than that,” Greg said soberly. “When I first went there I just expected to get better. He gave me exercises and I did them and I thought it would just get better and better. Until that day that I lost my balance in the locker room and damaged the graft.” Greg winced remembering it. “It was such a setback. I lost everything I’d gained in the previous weeks, it was worse than when I started because I had to stop exercising till it healed, then start all over again. I was so afraid I would never get better.”
Nick nodded, remembering the panic, the blood, the trip to the hospital, learning the new bandaging routine.
“When I got back to Lloyd it still hurt so bad and when he asked how I was doing, I started crying. In front of everyone.” Greg looked like he was still embarrassed about that.
“What did he do?” Nick asked softly.
“He held me really gently. And he said that I would get better, I was a fighter and I knew how to do the work. And he asked if I was going to therapy.” Greg sighed. “I said, ‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ And he said it wasn’t enough. You know, he’s more than a physical therapist, he’s really a healer. He always seems to have so much strength, it’s like you get better just by knowing him.”
“So what was the final push? Why’d you actually take him up on his advice for therapy?”
“He told me about how he’d hoped to play pro football. He had a football scholarship to Iowa, you know. The Taylor Tornado. He and his cousin both played defense together and no one could get by them. And then one day in a game, he was tackled from the side. He tore out the anterior cruciate ligament in his knee. He said it didn’t hurt but when he got up he fell back down again and he knew right then, he was never going to play pro ball.”
A silence fell between them as they thought about how random events change the journey and the goal.
“Lloyd lost his dream. His body lost the ability to do what he’d trained to do and he lost the life he thought he was destined for. When he went to physical therapy his PT told him if he was going to get a new life, he had to grieve for the life he’d lost, that he wouldn’t heal physically till he did the grieving.”
“What did you lose, Greg? I mean, you’re alive, you can still do the lab work. Hell, you’re a CSI now–”
“I lost that feeling that nothing could happen to me!” Greg quickly turned onto his stomach. “Look at me, Nick. I lost the body I lived in for 27 years! It’s not the same. I have scars. I don’t take off my shirt in front of anyone but you. I can’t just take it off in public on a hot day. People stare. I lost me in their eyes. To them I’m not Greg, I’m not a man, I’m a bunch of ugly scars,” his voice broke. “If I didn’t have you… if I had to meet someone new…I would have to take my shirt off and explain… see their shock and revulsion…”
“Oh my poor baby, tesoro.***” Nick bent over and his hot tears fell on Greg’s scars as he kissed each one slowly and tenderly. “You never said… you can’t think I feel…” He stopped, at a loss for what to say that could possibly make a difference to Greg.
“I know you love me, Nick. But I don’t know if you can love… the scars. They’re ugly. They feel weird. I don’t know how you…can bear…to… to touch me.”
“But you are beautiful and they’re a part of you, so they’re beautiful too,” Nick whispered and he carefully kissed his way over all the scars again, feeling the heaving of Greg’s chest as he struggled not to cry. “Never doubt this, I love you and I’m in this for the long haul. I see you.”
Greg sobbed and clutched at Nick and Nick held him close till his breathing slowed. Finally he sat up and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose. “Sorry.”
“Thank you for letting me see you,” Nick whispered and kissed his forehead.
“You never made me feel… ugly… when you saw my back. Otherwise…” Greg trailed off. “If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know if I could have gotten over feeling angry and sad and helpless.”
“You were angry?” Nick was astounded, “When?”
“I felt helpless and angry after the explosion. It was something I tried to control but I couldn’t. I couldn’t control the pain afterwards. And the explosion isn’t the only thing that made me feel helpless or powerless or scared. My parents never really paid attention to me, I was just…kind of… an accessory. Smart kid, good grades. And in high school before I became as cool as I am now, I got my ass handed to me for being a brain and gay on top of that.”
“You never told me that,” Nick said, surprised.
“Well, would you go around telling a lot of people you got your ass kicked on a regular basis?”
“No, I guess not,” Nick hid a small smile. “If you want to go back and find those guys, I bet we could kick their ass now,” he offered, feeling perfectly willing to book a flight to California today if Greg felt like it.
“No, that’s okay,” Greg grinned. “The best revenge is living well.”
“Oh, it is?” Nick asked ironically.
“No,” Greg laughed. “The best revenge is getting your life back. And you get it back when you stop giving other people power over you.”
“And how are you doing that?”
“I’ve been working on it. I said… explosion… before. And when I say it out loud, it makes it hurt a little less.” Greg struggled to explain. “After last night, after you told your parents about the babysitter, doesn’t it feel less… I don’t know, less overwhelming.
Nick took a moment to think about it. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I think a good therapist can help, if you’re willing. I just don’t want you to wait as long as I did before you try it.” Greg continued, “I think it would be good for both of us. Help keep us talking and help keep the barriers down. Another baby step.”
“There’s another barrier I have to tackle,” Nick sighed. “I think first I need to have a conversation with my parents.”
“You let me see your beauty,” Greg responded, “And if you can let your parents see it, maybe you’ll be able to find that piece of yourself that you lost.”
“Maybe,” Nick said, suddenly dark.
tbc
*“You’re so hot… so tight…my love.”
**“So beautiful,” he kissed each eyelid. “So beautiful and all mine. I love you, baby. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ll always love you. I want to grow old with you and love you forever.”
***Treasure
A/N: Thank you to Gdogaleshot, fred_bear, helena_eternal and kahlualeia for their support and demands that I keep going.
Chapter 1 here
Chapter 2 here
Chapter 3 here
Chapter 4 here
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Spoilers: Grave Danger
Disclaimer: I do not own but I like borrow them to give them exercise and help keep them in shape before I put them back. And they're in such good shape that they are All Naked All The Time in this chapter.
Thank you to
godgaleshot, fred_bear and kahlualeiafor their insightful beta.A special thank you to
dawn_rogue for the translations. Btw, she posted that she was willing to do Spanish translation for us.Warm.
He felt warm and relaxed, too lazy to move. Surfacing slowly out of a deep sleep, drowsily taking in the dim light filtering through the curtains, muffled sounds of the quiet breeze and birds chirping, warm arms around him. He could feel himself rising and falling with each deep breath Greg took. He took in a deep breath. Greg smelled better than coffee.
“Mmmm,” Nick hummed, “I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.”
“What was that?” Greg mumbled sleepily.
“I said I could wake up like this every day,” Nick replied, nuzzling Greg’s neck.
“Maybe you could,” Greg grumbled, “But my arm’s asleep.”
Nick laughed and rolled over onto his back, dragging Greg on top and holding him close. “Better?”
“Mmmm, yeah. I could wake up like this every day,” Greg snuggled closer and sighed contentedly.
Nick kissed Greg’s shoulder. “Hey,” Nick noticed suddenly, “What are you doing in bed with me?”
“Nicky, this is the guest bedroom. I belong here. You should be asking why you're here.” Greg chuckled with his eyes shut tight.
Memories of last night started coming back to Nick. He vaguely remembered crying, being held, stumbling up the stairs leaning heavily on Greg and finally falling onto a bed. He remembered what he’d said last night to his parents and that he’d finally told them. Oddly, he didn’t feel traumatized or anxious. He felt sort of … peaceful.
“So, you wanna get up?”
“No,” Greg groaned. “I feel like a truck hit me, backed up and ran over me again to make sure I was dead.”
“Um, do my parents know I’m staying in your room, G?” Nick asked cautiously.
“Yeah,” Greg yawned. “No secrets left. Are you… doing okay after last night?”
“I think I’m okay.” Well, what do you know? I might actually be okay.
“Will you be okay if I sleep in?”
“No, I want you to get up and play with me,” Nick whined teasingly, poking Greg in the ribs.
Greg tightened his arms around Nick in relief. Nick was so guarded about sharing what he thought were his weaknesses that Greg wasn’t exactly sure what to expect after last night’s meltdown. The part of Nick that rarely came out to play was the last thing he anticipated, but okay, he’d take it.
“I’ll play with you later, just let me sleep a while,” Greg brushed Nick’s fingers away. “You’re being a brat.” He yawned.
“Geek.”
“Frat-boy.”
“Lab rat.”
“Redneck.”
“You dance like a monkey.”
“You do country line dances,” Greg pointed out.
“Okay, I guess you win that one.”
Greg snuggled against Nick, starting to drift off to sleep again.
“Come on, just get up and take a shower with me, and then you can go right back to sleep,” Nick whispered in Greg’s ear.
Greg stretched and yawned, “Do you promise not to jump me in the shower?”
“I promise to jump you in the shower,” Nick chuckled and pulled them both out of bed.
“Wait – that’s not the deal…”
Nick dragged Greg squirming and protesting into the bathroom and held him with one arm while he started the shower, testing the water. Then he pushed Greg in, thanking whoever invented non-skid shower floors, and pulled the door shut behind them.
Greg yelped as the water hit him but Nick wrapped his arms around him and held him close as they swayed together getting used to the soothing warmth of the spray.
“Nick, how – mmph – ” Nick leaned in for an affectionate kiss, running his tongue over Greg’s lower lip, nipping it lightly, sucking it in, then using his tongue to nudge Greg’s warm lips open. Their tongues met, feather light, barely brushing together, warm and wet in open mouths. Nick closed his mouth over Greg’s, getting lost in a sudden memory of their first kiss.
Their first kiss was so perfect, their mouths fit together as if made for each other. It was that kiss that everyone searches for but can’t exactly describe. Nick never had a first kiss feel so right. No fumbling, no tentative awkwardness, just warm lips and tongue. They playfully battled for control, switching the lead back and forth between them. Greg’s fingers were entwined with his, holding his hands as his mouth held Nick’s captive. Finally they broke away for air. Nick couldn’t speak. It might break the spell of this perfect kiss he’d been searching for all his life. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he had found the kiss with a man, who also happened to be his coworker and his friend. He didn’t want to worry about the next day. He was just so afraid that Greg wouldn’t want to kiss him again, that this was an accident or that he was dreaming. But then Greg leaned almost imperceptibly closer and waited. Waited for Nick to close the distance between them, making it clear that the next kiss was Nick’s choice.
Greg followed Nick’s lead, content to hold hands and kiss in the shower. The tight rein Nick kept on himself had snapped last night with the heartrending cry that pulled Greg off the stairs to fly to Nick’s side. That anguished scream was the most pained expression of grief he’d ever heard and nothing could have kept him away from Nick at that moment, no matter what Nick’s parents thought. He knew, more than anyone else, how Nick guarded his demons and he was horribly afraid that Nick would turn away from him after having revealed so much. He was so grateful to have his lover back, kissing him slowly in the shower that he was willing to stand there till the shower got cold if that’s what Nick wanted. Though he had to admit, after being ruthlessly hauled out of bed at the crack of dawn, a cold shower was not the reward he had in mind.
Nick came up for air again and just stood still, letting his gaze wander over Greg, caressing him with his eyes, lingering on his half-hard cock and ass. Nick ran his hands over Greg’s slippery body, sliding down his flanks, pressing his waist, wandering to his back, sliding over the scars marking the soft skin. He bent to lick and suck one of Greg’s nipples till it hardened under his tongue. He feathered his fingers lightly along the sensitive curve of the pelvic bone, feeling the responsive shudder that Greg always gave when he brushed over the right nerve. Nick licked a hot line up Greg’s neck, biting down lightly, reveling in the delicious strangled moan that elicited.
Nick let his hand drift down Greg’s back to brush the cleft of his cheeks lightly, pleased with the immediate response of a soft moan and buck of the hips. He put one hand on Greg’s hip to hold him steady and allowed his other hand to cup and gently caress the curve of Greg’s ass. Greg raised his arms to grab him but Nick pressed them back to his sides and continued to slide his hands over Greg’s skin, tracing small patterns on his flat stomach, palms cupping his ass, alternately stroking the soft skin and kneading the firm muscles.
Greg stood there and gave himself over to the loving exploration of hands and eyes. His breath caught in his throat, his chest tightened and his treacherous cock twitched and hardened as he felt the heat of his lover’s gaze. “You’re so beautiful, Greg,” Nick said in a tone of wonder as he saw the trust and love shining in Greg’s eyes.
“I think you’re beautiful too,” Greg whispered. His eyes roamed from the muscled torso and toned arms, erect cock and curved bottom to broad shoulders, the golden skin still showing marks from the ants and finally to Nick’s wondering eyes.
Greg gasped and his eyes fluttered shut when Nick leaned in to kiss first one nipple, then the other, licking down the middle of his chest, swirling his tongue in Greg’s belly button, then down the faint line of dark hair leading to his cock. This prolonged exploration was making Greg achingly hard and he felt his knees start to wobble.
Nick pulled Greg into a hug, one hand caressing the back of his neck, the other flat on Greg’s lower back, middle finger nudging between his cheeks, stroking, getting nearer the hidden entrance as he ground his hips against Greg. Nick could feel Greg’s heart pounding against his chest.
Nick turned Greg around and felt him relax, leaning back into him as he soothingly swayed them both back and forth from one foot to the other. Nick held Greg around the waist with his left arm, pinning Greg’s arm to his side. His hand caressed the column of Greg’s muscular neck, his thumb dipping into the enticing hollow between his collarbones, making a little circle over and over. He shivered feeling the curve of Greg’s buttocks pressing back into his groin.
The fingers of his left hand flexed into Greg’s waist, pressing into the warm silky skin, feeling the satisfying firmness of muscle underneath. He allowed his right hand to drift downward cupping Greg’s shoulder and then further down again to brush over his left nipple. Under his hand he could feel Greg’s ribcage hitch as his breath started to quicken. Greg tried to raise his hand to cover one of Nick’s but Nick pinned both arms to his sides, as he gently pinched Greg’s nipple with greater pressure, then caressed away the sting.
Greg gasped and melted into Nick’s heated touch, mesmerized by Nick’s hands moving possessively over his skin. Nick licked Greg’s neck, then bit down hard, sucking his skin and marking him.
Greg pushed his ass back against Nick’s erection sliding up and down in the cleft of his cheeks. He felt the pressure of desire start building in his groin from the slow sensuous pace of Nick’s seduction, but tried desperately to maintain control.
Nick’s right hand wandered lower again to trace down Greg’s left hip bone, lightly covering it, cupping and circling, letting his fingers feather slowly up and down the line where Greg’s upper thigh met his groin, teasing that sensitive area, smiling as he felt Greg’s hips start to flex. Still gripping Greg’s waist with his left hand, he allowed his thumb to slide upward till he found Greg’s right nipple, stroking his thumb over it again and again.
Greg gasped, knowing that Nick was aware of just how much this was undoing him. He couldn’t stop his breath from coming out in loud erratic gasps and broken moans. It was all he could do to stop himself from begging Nick for what he wanted. He dropped his head back on Nick’s shoulder and Nick’s right hand came up, his fingers on Greg’s neck and his thumb sliding up under Greg’s jaw line, pressing his chin to the right and holding him there so Nick could lean forward and flick his tongue into Greg’s mouth. Greg groaned, trying to capture Nick’s tongue and suck on it but the angle was awkward and all he could do was allow his mouth to surrender to Nick’s tongue darting in and out.
Nick slowly slid his right hand back down Greg’s body, back to the join of thigh and groin, teasing the sensitive area with gentle strokes, gradually ghosting over Greg’s lower abdomen to trail his fingers lightly through Greg’s pubic hair, enjoying the shuddering response of his lover’s body. He barely brushed the base of Greg’s erection, feeling the hardness straining upward. Greg’s hips bucked involuntarily and in answer Nick ground his cock harder against Greg’s cleft.
Greg felt like his cock couldn’t get any harder. But then it did as he felt Nick’s hand brushing softly around the base and his hips flexed more forcefully now. He ground his ass back against Nick as hard as he could, hoping to provoke the other man into more direct action. The soft touches were almost too much for him without any actual contact and he gasped for breath, groaning and whimpering. His arms were still pinned and all he could do to signal Nick how much he wanted him was to arch back against him helplessly inside the prison of his arms. Speech was beyond him at this point although he thought he could hear someone moaning, “please… please…” but surely his voice had never sounded so… beseeching. He gasped and started babbling as Nick’s hand finally closed around his cock, feeling a jolt of desire blaze through him, weakening his knees even more.
Nick rocked harder against Greg’s ass, unrecognizable moans he couldn’t stop coming from his own throat. “I need to be inside you, love.” Nick’s voice cracked with need. “I need to feel you.” Greg gulped and nodded, eyes closed, sagging against Nick. “Need you…inside me…” Greg rasped in a voice rough with the intensity of his answering desire.
Greg felt Nick moving him forward, bracing his hands on the wall. He staggered and moaned at the cold draft as Nick was suddenly gone. Before he could open his eyes, he felt Nick’s warmth against his back again, and Nick’s feet kicking his legs apart. Greg looked back over his shoulder to catch the intense gaze devouring him alive, shaken at the desperate need in Nick’s face. Nick pressed against Greg, trying to regain his own control as he gripped the base of his cock trying to keep from ending everything before anything started.
Frantic fingers pressed into Greg’s opening. He pushed back against Nick’s hand, bending over further to allow Nick better access, spreading his legs wider. Two slick fingers pressed roughly inside and he gasped at the sudden intrusion, struggling to relax. Before he could adjust, the fingers were gone and Nick’s hard cock entered him in one long solid slide.
Nick buried himself as deep as he could inside Greg. He couldn’t seem to slow down, thrusting convulsively into the maddening silky heat, pushing Greg hard against the tile. Nick wrapped one arm tightly around Greg’s waist, immobilizing him. He felt Greg open for him, accepting him, tight heat enveloping him, making his cock pulse and throb even more.
Greg moaned with pleasure at each hard thrust filling him, each rapturous gasp earning him another forceful stroke that brushed over his sweet spot, making white hot sparks dance before his eyes. He leaned over further, pushing his ass back with each plunge, driving Nick’s cock in even deeper.
“Eres tan ardiente, tan estrecho, amor mío.”* Nick thrust harder and faster, frantically pounding into the pliant body before him. His frenzied breathing matched his erratic pace as he heard Greg gasp, “harder… come for me…oh, God, Nick…” His stomach muscles clenched, feeling the rush raging in his groin and he thrust deeper and then deeper, spilling himself into the supple body pinned under him with a harsh groan.
He collapsed against Greg, gasping and spent. “God, Greg… I’m sorry… I don’t know… what came over me. Are you… are you okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you…” Nick turned Greg around anxiously. Relief swept over him as he saw Greg’s erection and his eyes dazed with excitement, chest heaving.
“Jesus,” breathed Greg, “I thought you were…going to drill me to the wall!”
“I’m sorry–”
“Don’t be… that was… great,” Greg panted, pushing down weakly on Nick’s shoulders. “Suck me. Now…please…”
Nick went to his knees before Greg, pressing one hand over Greg’s hip to hold him against the wall. Nick smiled and wet his lips as he saw that Greg’s cock was so hard it was standing up against his stomach. He licked along Greg’s shaft, savoring the taste and the feel of hot velvet skin covering rock hard muscle.
Looking down, Greg gasped as Nick teasingly took the head of his rigid cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue. At the sight of his cock disappearing into Nick’s mouth he let out a pathetic whimper and rolled his head from side to side frantically against the tile. Nick continued to tease him, licking from base to shaft, sucking softly at the head.
Losing patience with Nick’s painfully slow progress Greg grabbed Nick’s hair in his hands. “Just suck me, dammit!” he growled between clenched teeth. Keeping his grip on Nick’s hair, he started rocking into Nick’s mouth, face fucking him, moaning and whimpering. Greg felt Nick’s hot tongue swirling around his cock doing that tongue thing that only Nick could do as he relaxed his throat to take Greg’s deepest thrusts.
Greg closed his eyes as Nick sucked as hard as he could, rolling Greg’s balls between his fingers. Greg was shaking with every thrust and Nick could tell he was close, so he pressed on the tight skin behind his balls and swallowed around him as Greg shot down his throat with a strangled cry. He kept Greg’s cock in his mouth, sucking gently till his body completely stilled, licking him clean. As he felt Greg’s knees buckle, he stood up and pressed his weight against Greg, keeping him upright against the wall.
“God, Nick,” whispered Greg, “This doesn’t say much for our staying power.”
Nick gave a shaky laugh. “Guess not. How are you feeling?”
“Cold. Kiss me.”
Nick pulled Greg back under the water and kissed his swollen lips gently, holding him with trembling arms. Greg was loosely draped over Nick, showing no signs of life.
“No condom, huh?” he murmured.
“No time, sorry. It was all I could do to get the lube,” Nick murmured back. “Did you hate it?”
“Christ, no, that was… great. Greater than great! Maybe we should only fuck in the shower from now on.”
“No quickies? No Sunday only-get-out-of-bed-to-order-pizza sex? No outdoorsy fun in the great wilderness? No–”
“Okay, Nick, you made your point.”
“Can you stand up?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Nick soaped up a washcloth. He tenderly washed his lover’s body, noting the slight wince as he passed the cloth between Greg’s cheeks.
“Gonna feel that a while,” Greg murmured.
Nick smirked proudly, although he didn’t let Greg catch him at it.
Nick lathered his hands with shampoo and washed and rinsed Greg’s hair, massaging his head slowly and sensuously. Greg hummed with contentment.
Pulling Greg out of the shower, he dried him off and rubbed his hair dry enough so he could go back to bed. Greg stood and yawned like a five-year-old being tended. Nick led him back to the bed and tucked him in. He leaned over and kissed him softly, “Thank you, baby, for understanding…everything.” Greg was already asleep.
Nick yawned and stretched. He was thinking of breakfast but suddenly sleep seemed so much more enticing. He crawled in next to Greg and curled around him. As he felt himself relax into a puddle of contentment, Nick could feel Greg’s arms come up to surround him protectively.
“Tan hermoso,” he kissed each eyelid. “Tan hermoso y mío. Te quiero, mi vida. No sé que haría sin tí. Te querré siempre. Quiero envejecer contigo y amarte para siempre”**
He looked at the dark lashes fanning across pale cheeks and his dangerously romantic thoughts were interrupted when a faint snore from Greg restored his sense of humor.
Nick felt the sting of tears as he wondered where funny, open, silly, smart-as-hell Greg, got that inner core of strength that sometimes had to carry them both. He was too tired to cry right now and though he had a sense that there were many tears waiting for him, he knew that Greg would be there with him to catch every one. His last conscious thought was, “Damn, I bet this is going to put his arm to sleep again,” but he was too tired to do anything about it. And Nick slept.
~*~
Greg woke up to feel Nick’s hand gently stroking his back. He was lying on his stomach and as he cleared his throat and moved, he felt Nick lean in and kiss the scar on his neck. He smiled and just lay there, enjoying the soft caresses.
“How did you… turn out so normal after…everything?”
Greg rolled over and looked up at Nick. Nick looked nervous and uncertain and Greg wanted more than anything to reassure him.
“What do you mean by everything?” he asked.
“Growing up with your parents, finding out you were gay, the explosion.”
Greg sighed and looked away. Nick was the closed one, who tried to hold all his secrets darkly inside. Whenever Nick pushed him away, Greg worried that he didn’t deserve the love and affection he wanted from Nick. Losing Nick scared him and it felt all too real after the events of the past month. He asked himself if he was ready to get this vulnerable with Nick? If this thing between them didn’t work out losing the love he dreamed of sharing with Nick would be too much for Greg to handle. He didn’t feel like he could go through feeling so devastated again. Can two broken halves ever make a perfect whole? Greg had a feeling that they were once again about to take a step into the unknown and he wanted more than anything for them to take it together. He wanted desperately to get this right. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he stepped off the edge.
“What exactly are you asking me, Nick?”
“I know you go to therapy since the explosion,” Nick faltered, “But does it help? Talking about… stuff?”
“What stuff, Nick?” Greg wasn’t sure how hard to push but it seemed like Nick needed to say something about how he was feeling if he was ever going to face his issues. And if this new closeness building between them was going to last, they would need to start talking about things more directly.
“Feelings. Feeling… helpless.” And there it was, that little squirm at the word. Hearing that made Greg feel like if Nick could say that, then he could say…
“After the… explosion,” there, it was out, he’d said it. “After the explosion… at first it was all about handling the pain. At the hospital, the doctors recommended therapy but I didn’t want to do it. I mean, I know it’s stupid, you read about therapy helping other people but I felt like I’m a man, I can handle this, you know?”
Nick nodded, rapt.
“So I didn’t go. I had to go to the department therapist but I only went for the required amount of sessions. I was smarter than he was and it was easy to just tell him a bunch of words that he wanted to hear and get out of there.”
“Then how did you get to your therapist?”
“Remember you used to take me to physical therapy?”
“Oh yeah, how could I forget Lloyd,” Nick grinned.
“Right, bear-hug Lloyd,” Greg reminisced. “He couldn’t hug me regular because of the burns so he hugged my legs,” Greg laughed. “And he took it out on you. I loved that time he picked you up and carried you around the clinic.”
“Yeah, that was a trip. He’s great. He really helped you with that range of motion thing,” Nick grinned.
“He helped with more than that,” Greg said soberly. “When I first went there I just expected to get better. He gave me exercises and I did them and I thought it would just get better and better. Until that day that I lost my balance in the locker room and damaged the graft.” Greg winced remembering it. “It was such a setback. I lost everything I’d gained in the previous weeks, it was worse than when I started because I had to stop exercising till it healed, then start all over again. I was so afraid I would never get better.”
Nick nodded, remembering the panic, the blood, the trip to the hospital, learning the new bandaging routine.
“When I got back to Lloyd it still hurt so bad and when he asked how I was doing, I started crying. In front of everyone.” Greg looked like he was still embarrassed about that.
“What did he do?” Nick asked softly.
“He held me really gently. And he said that I would get better, I was a fighter and I knew how to do the work. And he asked if I was going to therapy.” Greg sighed. “I said, ‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ And he said it wasn’t enough. You know, he’s more than a physical therapist, he’s really a healer. He always seems to have so much strength, it’s like you get better just by knowing him.”
“So what was the final push? Why’d you actually take him up on his advice for therapy?”
“He told me about how he’d hoped to play pro football. He had a football scholarship to Iowa, you know. The Taylor Tornado. He and his cousin both played defense together and no one could get by them. And then one day in a game, he was tackled from the side. He tore out the anterior cruciate ligament in his knee. He said it didn’t hurt but when he got up he fell back down again and he knew right then, he was never going to play pro ball.”
A silence fell between them as they thought about how random events change the journey and the goal.
“Lloyd lost his dream. His body lost the ability to do what he’d trained to do and he lost the life he thought he was destined for. When he went to physical therapy his PT told him if he was going to get a new life, he had to grieve for the life he’d lost, that he wouldn’t heal physically till he did the grieving.”
“What did you lose, Greg? I mean, you’re alive, you can still do the lab work. Hell, you’re a CSI now–”
“I lost that feeling that nothing could happen to me!” Greg quickly turned onto his stomach. “Look at me, Nick. I lost the body I lived in for 27 years! It’s not the same. I have scars. I don’t take off my shirt in front of anyone but you. I can’t just take it off in public on a hot day. People stare. I lost me in their eyes. To them I’m not Greg, I’m not a man, I’m a bunch of ugly scars,” his voice broke. “If I didn’t have you… if I had to meet someone new…I would have to take my shirt off and explain… see their shock and revulsion…”
“Oh my poor baby, tesoro.***” Nick bent over and his hot tears fell on Greg’s scars as he kissed each one slowly and tenderly. “You never said… you can’t think I feel…” He stopped, at a loss for what to say that could possibly make a difference to Greg.
“I know you love me, Nick. But I don’t know if you can love… the scars. They’re ugly. They feel weird. I don’t know how you…can bear…to… to touch me.”
“But you are beautiful and they’re a part of you, so they’re beautiful too,” Nick whispered and he carefully kissed his way over all the scars again, feeling the heaving of Greg’s chest as he struggled not to cry. “Never doubt this, I love you and I’m in this for the long haul. I see you.”
Greg sobbed and clutched at Nick and Nick held him close till his breathing slowed. Finally he sat up and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose. “Sorry.”
“Thank you for letting me see you,” Nick whispered and kissed his forehead.
“You never made me feel… ugly… when you saw my back. Otherwise…” Greg trailed off. “If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know if I could have gotten over feeling angry and sad and helpless.”
“You were angry?” Nick was astounded, “When?”
“I felt helpless and angry after the explosion. It was something I tried to control but I couldn’t. I couldn’t control the pain afterwards. And the explosion isn’t the only thing that made me feel helpless or powerless or scared. My parents never really paid attention to me, I was just…kind of… an accessory. Smart kid, good grades. And in high school before I became as cool as I am now, I got my ass handed to me for being a brain and gay on top of that.”
“You never told me that,” Nick said, surprised.
“Well, would you go around telling a lot of people you got your ass kicked on a regular basis?”
“No, I guess not,” Nick hid a small smile. “If you want to go back and find those guys, I bet we could kick their ass now,” he offered, feeling perfectly willing to book a flight to California today if Greg felt like it.
“No, that’s okay,” Greg grinned. “The best revenge is living well.”
“Oh, it is?” Nick asked ironically.
“No,” Greg laughed. “The best revenge is getting your life back. And you get it back when you stop giving other people power over you.”
“And how are you doing that?”
“I’ve been working on it. I said… explosion… before. And when I say it out loud, it makes it hurt a little less.” Greg struggled to explain. “After last night, after you told your parents about the babysitter, doesn’t it feel less… I don’t know, less overwhelming.
Nick took a moment to think about it. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I think a good therapist can help, if you’re willing. I just don’t want you to wait as long as I did before you try it.” Greg continued, “I think it would be good for both of us. Help keep us talking and help keep the barriers down. Another baby step.”
“There’s another barrier I have to tackle,” Nick sighed. “I think first I need to have a conversation with my parents.”
“You let me see your beauty,” Greg responded, “And if you can let your parents see it, maybe you’ll be able to find that piece of yourself that you lost.”
“Maybe,” Nick said, suddenly dark.
tbc
*“You’re so hot… so tight…my love.”
**“So beautiful,” he kissed each eyelid. “So beautiful and all mine. I love you, baby. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ll always love you. I want to grow old with you and love you forever.”
***Treasure
A/N: Thank you to Gdogaleshot, fred_bear, helena_eternal and kahlualeia for their support and demands that I keep going.
Chapter 1 here
Chapter 2 here
Chapter 3 here
Chapter 4 here
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Date: 2005-07-11 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-11 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 01:35 am (UTC)Yeah. I'm afraid that Nick/Greg are my paradigm for relationships and I get ridiculously nervous if things don't go well for them.
I'm the same way, which is why I'm constantly fighting the horrible, horrible angst plot bunnies.
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Date: 2005-07-12 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-07-12 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 02:34 am (UTC)s
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Date: 2005-07-12 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 07:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-15 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 03:25 am (UTC)....Yeah, that's all I have to say, and I think it says it all. ^^;;
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Date: 2005-07-20 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-20 04:06 am (UTC)That's all Nick and Greg too. So I'm assuming you're a Nick/Greg slasher.
I like chatting up other authors and readers. It's so fun when someone takes the time to actually say they appreciate your effort cuz, believe me, it's work. I'm struggling with another story right now, even as we speak. And most authors on this site respond to all comments, except if something terrible is going on their lives. So I hope you'll continue to stick around, read, get know and even post something if you like to write. :-)
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Date: 2005-07-20 04:14 am (UTC)Granted, that being said I'm thinking of maybe bringing back the vampires from "Suckers" in a fic I'm poking at. Only this time, my way. ^^
That and wanna know the funny thing? My friend sent me a like to a Grissom slash comm, which got me hooked to the fiction side of the fandom, and I was looking through, read some stuff, kinda went "*blink... blink...* okay, no, I need younger guy slash" and thought about it, realizing that I feel Warrick's too straight and I don't really like many of the other younger male characters besides Nick and Greg... then searched nick/greg under faves and here I am. X3 It's been a journy, I must say.
And yes, I do ship Nick and Greg. Now. ....yup, I've gone on for long enough, it's past my bedtime and I'm tired damnit! Off to bed, maybe catch you some other time. X3