New Fic - I'm Okay

[obsidian-rai.livejournal.com]

Fandom: CSI: LV
Title: I'm Okay
Author: Raijahn
Pairing/Character(s): Nick
Rating: PG-13
Category: Angst, hurt/comfort
Series/Sequel: None
Spoilers: 'Who Are You?'
Warnings: None
Beta(s): carnapepper
Summary: Nick in the aftermath.


I'm Okay

It’s thirty minutes past end of shift and you’re still sitting in your truck in the parking lot of the lab. Keys in the ignition, hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel, the urge to leave pressing in on you. But you can’t make yourself move, start the engine, drive away. You can’t stop the movie repeating in your mind. Hearing the hammer cock, turning to see the gun in your face and looking past it to see Amy Hendler the one aiming it at you.

You should have been better prepared, should have been able to diffuse the situation, should have been better able to control yourself. Not let the fear get to you, let it effect your emotions, let her see how scared you were.

You can still hear yourself, how your voice shook and cracked when you pleaded with her to wait, praying that she didn’t shoot you. Still feel the warmth of the tears that spilled down your cheeks when Grissom talked her into putting her gun down; when you turned away to keep him from seeing how shaken you were. Still feel the shame that twisted your insides, making you unable to look Grissom in the eye afterwards.

You kept apologizing, but Grissom wouldn’t hear it. Told you that neither of you had any reason to believe it *wasn’t* Jason Hendler who murdered Fay Green. That you were taken completely off guard and didn’t have time to react. You stayed quiet after that, through the rest of the ride back to the lab. Grateful that your shift was over so you could just go home, grabbing your stuff and hurrying out to your truck, avoiding contact with everyone.

Where you still sit, frozen, lost in the case, warmth from tears more than memory now. A vague thought that you should snap out of it before anyone comes out and sees you passes through your mind, but it fades before you can really grasp hold of it.

The sudden sound of a car door opening startles you so badly, you let out a soft cry. Twisting your head to the side, you see Greg sliding into the passenger seat, a look of worried concern on his face. You open your mouth to say... something, anything, but nothing emerges.

“It’s okay, it’s fine, Nick. You’re all right now.” Softly whispered words accompanied by a warm, comforting hand on the back of your neck. Your eyes fall closed and you let out a shuddering breath, going boneless in the seat, trapping Greg’s hand between your neck and the headrest. Why you wanted to avoid this, you don’t know. You should have known that if anyone could make it all okay, it would be Greg.

“Yeah,” you whisper back, opening your eyes to gaze at him, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair. “I am now.”

Comments

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Aww so sweet. And very nice characterization of the aftermath of a trauma, what could I have done better. The vic blaming themselves, really well done.

[obsidian-rai.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thanks! *nods* That is true, the victims do seem to blame themselves.

[flipflopadd1ct.livejournal.com]

Really great characterization, and oh so sweet :)

[obsidian-rai.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank you, hon.

[imyourally.livejournal.com]

Yes. I love that scene with Nick because him crying always gets to me, and this was such a great missing scene. It really worked.