Baby Steps: Chapter 2
Jun. 8th, 2005 11:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nickngregTitle: Baby Steps: A Delicate Balance
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own them, honest, you can come over and check.
Summary: Follows Baby Steps: One Step Closer
Spoilers: Grave Danger
A/N: Thanks to Godgaleshot and Fred_bear for the wonderful beta. You guys rock.
Warning: This is turning into an epic. Bring provisions.
Greg walked out of Nick's hospital room and allowed his shoulders to drop. He was zonked from having to keep up a facade, it was just so exhausting. Nick's parents had taken up residence in his room and only left late at night, limiting the visits from Nick's work friends. And that's all Greg was to them and not even a particularly interesting one because Greg was so afraid of saying the wrong thing that he rarely said anything at all.
Catherine caught up with Greg and stopped him. Looking up at him, she noticed the purplish smudges under his eyes and the weary lines around his mouth. "How are you holding up? You look like hell," she asked, concerned for her friend.
"Thanks, Cath," Greg snorted. "God, I can't believe I just snorted. I am just so tired." He slumped against the wall and closed his eyes.
"Have you been sleeping, Greg?"
"Yeah. Sometimes. Maybe. I don't know. It's just between work, official day-time visits with Nick and then sneaking in here at night to see him, it's just getting me down a little." Greg's voice shook a little, "But I've got nothing to complain about when you consider how it could have ended–"
"Don't," Catherine's voice broke as she put her hand against Greg's mouth. "I… I can't bear thinking about what could have happened to Nick."
Greg blinked his eyes rapidly and nodded.
"I guess I'm just wondering how you're doing with Nick's parents here. You look so tense in there, like you're going to snap."
Greg grinned wryly, "You know how things pop out of my mouth sometimes. I'm checking everything I think so many times that I end up either not saying anything or talking about the weather. They must wonder why their son is friends with the village idiot."
"Luckily for you, everyone else can keep up the conversation," Catherine chuckled. "Nicky will be out of here tomorrow. I heard him urging his parents to fly home tonight so you should offer to give him a lift home when he's released."
Greg's face lit up. "Thanks, Cath. I'll go ask and hopefully I'll get dibs."
Catherine pulled him in and hugged him. She could feel the weariness dragging at Greg and she rocked him gently, not so much that he'd catch on, just enough to feel she was offering some comfort.
"Cath, I just wanted to say, I don't know if I could have gotten through this that night Nick was brought to the hospital without you. So thank you…"
"We're friends, Greg, that's what friends do, they look out for each other."
Warrick joined them and asked if Catherine was ready to leave. He glared at Greg’s arms around her and pulled Catherine away from the embrace. Greg looked after them, amused to hear Warrick say, "And what was that all about?" Greg smiled when he heard Catherine's silvery laugh floating away in the distance. Like Greg was after Catherine, dream on Warrick.
Greg walked back into Nick's room and for once found only Nick. "Hey," he said softly.
"Hey yourself," Greg could tell Nick was tired and grumpy, so he only said, "I hear they're letting you out of here tomorrow. Do you need a lift?"
Nick's eyes flared as he looked around to see if his parents were near. He breathed hard for a second, controlling his sudden fear, masking it quickly with anger. Greg just stood waiting, a small smile on his face. Nick calmed down and slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you when I know what time. If my parents have left by then."
"Okay, see you tomorrow." Greg turned and left. Outside in the hall he took some deep breaths. He wasn't sure if it was the abduction or Nick's parents' visit or a combination of them both, but Nick was right on the edge. He hoped Nick would calm down when he got home in familiar surroundings. Greg had a feeling he was going to be sleeping alone at his own apartment for a while.
____
When Greg went to pick Nick up the next day, Nick was completely packed, dressed and ready to go. They walked down to the car in silence. After they got in, Greg turned to hug him and Nick jerked out, "Don't. Just. Don't. Don't touch me right now."
Greg nodded, turning away quickly to start the car. "Are you okay?"
Nick snapped, "Enough! I'm tired of people asking me that."
"I'm not people, Nick. Am I?"
"Please stop," Nick pleaded desperately, "Just zip it. I can't take any more."
The rest of the ride was silent. When Greg pulled into Nick's driveway he was gripping the steering wheel. Nick got out clutching his bag and walked to the door. He remembered that he didn't have his keys but before he could ask, Greg slipped his own key into the lock and turned it. Nick walked in but Greg stayed outside, awkwardly shifting his weight. "Well, I guess I'll get going?"
"No, come in," Nick grabbed Greg's wrist and yanked him inside. "I'm sorry, I just… can't talk right now. But I do want you to stay."
Greg nodded gravely. Nick collapsed onto his couch and kicked off his shoes. "I'm sorry, I want you here but please don't… talk for a while. There's just been so much talking." Nick trailed off.
Greg handed him the remote and got him a beer. Then he went to the bedroom.
Nick turned on the TV, flipping channels mindlessly, running through the sports channels till he found a football game and settled in, staring blankly at the screen.
_____
Hours later Nick woke slowly. The television was off and the room was dark except for one lit candle glowing on the coffee table. He sat up and stretched. It was so nice to sit there alone and have no one ask him how he felt, if he was getting over it, or shove pills at him. Nick thought he might feel nervous being alone in the dark but the silence felt peaceful.
Looking up he noticed another candle in a frosted glass holder on the floor leading to the hallway. He got up and started toward the bathroom, finding a few more candles in there. He washed his hands and face and leaned on the counter searching his reflection. He wondered why he was so on edge. He knew it didn't have anything to do with being in the box. He shook his head and headed toward the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway, surprised to find the bedroom softly lit with candles, a trace of vanilla in the air.
In the soft glow of candlelight, he saw Greg asleep on the bed, draped diagonally across it, his feet on Nick's side, his head on the other. Greg was sleeping on his stomach, one hand under the pillow and the other dangling off the edge of the bed, some papers scattered on the floor where they'd dropped when he fell asleep. His scarred back looked vulnerable, rising slowly with every deep breath.
Nick moved to see what the papers were: The Hindu. What the…? Then he noticed the article: Bacterial Soil Analysis: A Powerful Forensic Weapon. Figures, he smiled, Greg must have printed it out to read. Everyone thought Greg was a goof-off because of the music and shirts, but only Nick knew how hard he studied.
Nick eased slowly onto the mattress trying not to wake Greg. Nick mused that even after three years he still thought Greg was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He thought Greg must be exhausted to be lying so still because usually he moved almost as much in his sleep as when he was awake. Nick felt a little twinge of guilt, knowing he was one of the reasons Greg was this tired. Greg visited him in the hospital every day and night, and because Nick's parents were always there, Greg would just steal glances at him, trying not to upset him by saying or doing anything that might set off his uncertain emotions.
Finally Nick realized that he really needed to touch Greg and he leaned forward carefully and breathed soft kisses on the back of Greg's neck. Tenderly he left a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses down Greg's back and over the scars, down to the sheet covering his hips. Nick smiled when he heard a soft moan as Greg started to move.
Greg rolled onto his back and smiled at Nick sleepily. "Hey, sleeping –" Nick started. Greg shook his head and pressed a finger to Nick's lips, then made a "zip it!" motion against his own. Nick suddenly had a lot to say to Greg but he remembered that he was the one who said no talking earlier and apparently Greg was taking that to heart. For the moment Nick just ran his hands slowly over Greg's skin, and Greg looked up at him with that open, unguarded look that only Nick ever got to see.
Finally Greg sat up and pulled Nick into the middle of the bed. Nick wasn't as flexible as Greg, so he bent one leg and left the other straight, while Greg settled cross-legged between Nick's legs. Nick wanted to do everything they'd ever done right now, but Greg leaned slowly toward Nick, touching his face with his hand and pressing soft kisses on his forehead, cheek, down the side of his neck, and finally on his lips. Nick gasped and leaned into the kiss, trying to deepen it, but Greg's kiss was sweet and gentle. Nick raised his hands to unbutton his shirt, but Greg gently pushed Nick's hands away and went back to exploring him. Nick looked at Greg as if he was seeing him for the first time and caught his breath for only the thousandth time since he'd known him.
Greg ran his hands over Nick's thighs and he felt the heat of Greg's hands through his jeans. He wanted more and he wanted this to never stop. Nick had missed Greg so much during the three days in the hospital, he hadn't realized how much he needed the daily casual touches and hugs.
He leaned in to kiss Greg and felt Greg's mouth open to him. He sucked Greg's tongue into his mouth, awed at Greg's willingness to give himself to him. He tried to remember if he had ever given himself to Greg this completely and he came to the conclusion that he couldn't kiss and think at the same time and he'd have to ponder this later.
Greg moaned softly and Nick glared at him playfully, making the zipping motion again. Greg widened his eyes and glared back but Nick didn't back down. So Greg attacked the sensitive spots on Nick's neck, the hollow right between his collar bones, the curve where his neck flowed into his shoulders and his right earlobe, kissing, nipping and sucking mercilessly until Nick was squirming and groaning with frustration. Greg laughed at Nick with that enchantingly crooked grin, and got a pen and a notebook from his nightstand drawer where he kept them to record particularly interesting dreams or positions he thought they could try. Greg wrote: "moaning okay, but no talking!"
Greg tossed the book and pen aside and pushed Nick flat on the bed. He crawled up, his knees straddling Nick and leaned down to kiss him. He put his hand on the back of Nick's neck to angle his head slightly for a slow, tender kiss. Nick deepened the kiss while his arms slid around Greg's waist, pressing him closer, holding on for dear life.
When Nick started rocking his hips a little against Greg’s, he realized he was still fully dressed while Greg was completely and unselfconsciously naked. Greg pushed himself away gasping for air, his eyes a little dazed as he sank down next to Nick and allowed his hands to roam. His hand cupped Nick's erection thru his jeans and closed around it. Nick gasped and arched into the gentle touch. He started to whimper a little, startled at the touch but also at the thought that this was how they both were: he was fully dressed and buttoned down, careful not to give away too much. Greg was open and honest and naked, at least until Nick's insistence on secrecy. Nick was changing all the things he loved most about Greg and it scared him a little but that was something else to think about later.
Nick needed to get out of his clothes, needed to feel Greg's skin against his. He started ripping off his shirt and Greg slowed him down again, stroking down Nick's shoulders and arms soothingly as he peeled the shirt away. Greg then teased Nick's jeans and boxers down his legs.
Nick yanked Greg down and gasped as he felt Greg's skin against his own. Nick's cock was achingly hard and he wanted to do it now and he also wanted it to last forever. Slowly, luxuriously, they tasted, smelled and kissed, rediscovering the sensitive spots, trying to touch each other everywhere at once. They rolled together on the bed and kissed, sliding their cocks together, thrusting against each other with increasing need. Greg slid his hands down Nick's sides, tracing Nick's muscles, caressing his arms, chest and back. Nick was panting and thrusting and he couldn't get enough of how amazing it felt to touch Greg wherever he wanted.
This wasn't frantic groping but it still felt desperate to Nick. He felt like he couldn't get close enough to Greg, he couldn't hold him tight enough, couldn't kiss him deep enough. He wanted to breathe Greg in and he needed to show Greg how much he loved him. He saw the shadows under Greg's eyes and he wanted to erase them. He kissed Greg as if he was air and Nick was suffocating.
Greg sensed what Nick needed so he reached over to the nightstand and offered Nick a condom and lube. He rolled on his back, smiling up at Nick and pulling his knees up. Again Nick caught his breath at the love willingly being offered to him. He gazed at Greg's eyes, those deep velvet brown eyes that looked love into his. He stared at the condom in his hand and he pulled Greg up, shaking, as he slowly pressed it into Greg's hand.
Startled, Greg raised his eyes from his hand with a questioning look. Nick smiled tremulously and nodded. Greg looked like he wanted to ask if Nick was really sure. Nick nodded again and slid down on his back, looking up at Greg.
Greg looked stunned. He lunged forward off balance, grasped Nick's shoulders hard, awkwardly pulling him forward for a deep, intense kiss. Greg took a breath, trying to steady himself as his trembling hands stroked Nick's cock, dipping lower to caress his balls and finally brushing over Nick's opening.
Nick's hips jerked and he tore his mouth away from Greg's to gasp for air. Nick's eyes fluttered open and he nodded more emphatically at Greg, pulling him closer. Greg felt Nick's hand on his cock, realizing that Nick was rolling the condom onto him, and he had to control himself against the unfamiliar sensation.
Nick slicked Greg's fingers. As Greg slowly pressed a finger inside him, Nick couldn't believe the new sensations flooding through him. He'd always assumed that there was both pain and pleasure involved. There was, but when Greg added another finger and brushed across that spot deep inside, the pleasure was so exquisite the pain melted away and he thrust up harder to get more. He realized how carelessly he had just taken this from Greg.
"Greg, please…" Nick moaned. He pulled Greg closer between his raised knees, feet flat on the bed. Nick panted and moaned as he felt Greg slide inside him. He couldn’t stop himself from gripping Greg's hips hard enough to bruise, he just needed to be as close to Greg as he could. Nick felt an overwhelming sense of connection with Greg that he'd never felt before. Greg paused to allow Nick to relax, looking into his eyes from inches away. Then Greg started to move slowly and sensuously, angling his hips to hit that spot inside Nick with each stroke.
Nick felt so out of control he couldn't remember his name, couldn't remember how to talk. At last he'd found that feeling he'd been looking for, that he was breathing Greg, that he was closer than ever before, that he and Greg were one. Greg was deep inside him and he felt like he was inside Greg. He gazed into Greg's eyes until the room disappeared, until all he could see were those velvet brown eyes with flecks of gold and the shine of unshed tears reflecting the candlelight.
Greg stroked Nick's cock in time to his thrusts. Nick was so lost in this new feeling of belonging and connection he cried out in surprise as he came over Greg's stomach and chest. Greg closed his eyes then, his thrusts got harder and more erratic until finally he collapsed on top of Nick with a shudder as he came.
Greg lay panting. Finally he pulled out and leaned over to the wastebasket to dispose of the condom. Then he moved back on top of Nick clutching him as if he too couldn't get close enough. Nick held Greg close with one arm and rolled slightly to retrieve his boxers to clean them both. Nick wrapped his arms around Greg, lost in wonder at this new experience. Gently he stroked up and down Greg's back, feeling where smooth perfect skin met with rough scarred skin.
He tightened his arms as he heard a soft choked sob from Greg and realized he was crying. "What's wrong, are you okay, Greg?" He tried to raise Greg's chin but he only burrowed tighter into Nick's shoulder. "Greg, you're scaring me, what's wrong?"
Greg tried to catch his breath. "I thought I'd… lost you. I was so afraid… I thought… what if I never see… you again. I thought about how I would feel." Nick was shaken as he heard the deep anguish in Greg's voice. "And the last thing I said to you… before… And you've been so hard to… reach…"
"Shhh, babe. I knew you didn't mean it," Nick soothed. He ran a hand through Greg's hair, massaging his neck. "The fight was silly and it was my fault. I'm so caught up worrying if I'm disappointing people that I wasn't worrying about disappointing you." He paused. This talking about feelings stuff wasn't easy for him but he had to make the effort because losing Greg would be so much harder.
Nick felt regretful; for days he'd counted on Greg's love and support. He had leaned on him when his parents' concern started to chafe and snapped at him when friends from work pressed him too hard to talk about how he felt but Nick had never considered what Greg was going through posing as his "friend" instead of being acknowledged as the most important person in Nick's life.
"I pushed you and I shouldn't have," sighed Greg. "I know you love me. You don't have to tell everyone."
Nick said, "I think I'm just beginning to realize how much you love me. And how much I love you." He took a breath, "It makes me feel stronger to be there for you. Lean on me now, it's my turn." He wrapped his arms tightly around Greg and stroked his back soothingly.
Greg hiccuped and then laughed a little. "I guess we lean on each other."
They lay wrapped together and Nick could feel Greg's breathing slow as he started to fall asleep. And Nick wondered if he could take the next step.
TBC
Another A/N: Thank you Helena_eternal, you requested this and sent me on a journey that is becoming very meaningful.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own them, honest, you can come over and check.
Summary: Follows Baby Steps: One Step Closer
Spoilers: Grave Danger
A/N: Thanks to Godgaleshot and Fred_bear for the wonderful beta. You guys rock.
Warning: This is turning into an epic. Bring provisions.
Greg walked out of Nick's hospital room and allowed his shoulders to drop. He was zonked from having to keep up a facade, it was just so exhausting. Nick's parents had taken up residence in his room and only left late at night, limiting the visits from Nick's work friends. And that's all Greg was to them and not even a particularly interesting one because Greg was so afraid of saying the wrong thing that he rarely said anything at all.
Catherine caught up with Greg and stopped him. Looking up at him, she noticed the purplish smudges under his eyes and the weary lines around his mouth. "How are you holding up? You look like hell," she asked, concerned for her friend.
"Thanks, Cath," Greg snorted. "God, I can't believe I just snorted. I am just so tired." He slumped against the wall and closed his eyes.
"Have you been sleeping, Greg?"
"Yeah. Sometimes. Maybe. I don't know. It's just between work, official day-time visits with Nick and then sneaking in here at night to see him, it's just getting me down a little." Greg's voice shook a little, "But I've got nothing to complain about when you consider how it could have ended–"
"Don't," Catherine's voice broke as she put her hand against Greg's mouth. "I… I can't bear thinking about what could have happened to Nick."
Greg blinked his eyes rapidly and nodded.
"I guess I'm just wondering how you're doing with Nick's parents here. You look so tense in there, like you're going to snap."
Greg grinned wryly, "You know how things pop out of my mouth sometimes. I'm checking everything I think so many times that I end up either not saying anything or talking about the weather. They must wonder why their son is friends with the village idiot."
"Luckily for you, everyone else can keep up the conversation," Catherine chuckled. "Nicky will be out of here tomorrow. I heard him urging his parents to fly home tonight so you should offer to give him a lift home when he's released."
Greg's face lit up. "Thanks, Cath. I'll go ask and hopefully I'll get dibs."
Catherine pulled him in and hugged him. She could feel the weariness dragging at Greg and she rocked him gently, not so much that he'd catch on, just enough to feel she was offering some comfort.
"Cath, I just wanted to say, I don't know if I could have gotten through this that night Nick was brought to the hospital without you. So thank you…"
"We're friends, Greg, that's what friends do, they look out for each other."
Warrick joined them and asked if Catherine was ready to leave. He glared at Greg’s arms around her and pulled Catherine away from the embrace. Greg looked after them, amused to hear Warrick say, "And what was that all about?" Greg smiled when he heard Catherine's silvery laugh floating away in the distance. Like Greg was after Catherine, dream on Warrick.
Greg walked back into Nick's room and for once found only Nick. "Hey," he said softly.
"Hey yourself," Greg could tell Nick was tired and grumpy, so he only said, "I hear they're letting you out of here tomorrow. Do you need a lift?"
Nick's eyes flared as he looked around to see if his parents were near. He breathed hard for a second, controlling his sudden fear, masking it quickly with anger. Greg just stood waiting, a small smile on his face. Nick calmed down and slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you when I know what time. If my parents have left by then."
"Okay, see you tomorrow." Greg turned and left. Outside in the hall he took some deep breaths. He wasn't sure if it was the abduction or Nick's parents' visit or a combination of them both, but Nick was right on the edge. He hoped Nick would calm down when he got home in familiar surroundings. Greg had a feeling he was going to be sleeping alone at his own apartment for a while.
____
When Greg went to pick Nick up the next day, Nick was completely packed, dressed and ready to go. They walked down to the car in silence. After they got in, Greg turned to hug him and Nick jerked out, "Don't. Just. Don't. Don't touch me right now."
Greg nodded, turning away quickly to start the car. "Are you okay?"
Nick snapped, "Enough! I'm tired of people asking me that."
"I'm not people, Nick. Am I?"
"Please stop," Nick pleaded desperately, "Just zip it. I can't take any more."
The rest of the ride was silent. When Greg pulled into Nick's driveway he was gripping the steering wheel. Nick got out clutching his bag and walked to the door. He remembered that he didn't have his keys but before he could ask, Greg slipped his own key into the lock and turned it. Nick walked in but Greg stayed outside, awkwardly shifting his weight. "Well, I guess I'll get going?"
"No, come in," Nick grabbed Greg's wrist and yanked him inside. "I'm sorry, I just… can't talk right now. But I do want you to stay."
Greg nodded gravely. Nick collapsed onto his couch and kicked off his shoes. "I'm sorry, I want you here but please don't… talk for a while. There's just been so much talking." Nick trailed off.
Greg handed him the remote and got him a beer. Then he went to the bedroom.
Nick turned on the TV, flipping channels mindlessly, running through the sports channels till he found a football game and settled in, staring blankly at the screen.
_____
Hours later Nick woke slowly. The television was off and the room was dark except for one lit candle glowing on the coffee table. He sat up and stretched. It was so nice to sit there alone and have no one ask him how he felt, if he was getting over it, or shove pills at him. Nick thought he might feel nervous being alone in the dark but the silence felt peaceful.
Looking up he noticed another candle in a frosted glass holder on the floor leading to the hallway. He got up and started toward the bathroom, finding a few more candles in there. He washed his hands and face and leaned on the counter searching his reflection. He wondered why he was so on edge. He knew it didn't have anything to do with being in the box. He shook his head and headed toward the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway, surprised to find the bedroom softly lit with candles, a trace of vanilla in the air.
In the soft glow of candlelight, he saw Greg asleep on the bed, draped diagonally across it, his feet on Nick's side, his head on the other. Greg was sleeping on his stomach, one hand under the pillow and the other dangling off the edge of the bed, some papers scattered on the floor where they'd dropped when he fell asleep. His scarred back looked vulnerable, rising slowly with every deep breath.
Nick moved to see what the papers were: The Hindu. What the…? Then he noticed the article: Bacterial Soil Analysis: A Powerful Forensic Weapon. Figures, he smiled, Greg must have printed it out to read. Everyone thought Greg was a goof-off because of the music and shirts, but only Nick knew how hard he studied.
Nick eased slowly onto the mattress trying not to wake Greg. Nick mused that even after three years he still thought Greg was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He thought Greg must be exhausted to be lying so still because usually he moved almost as much in his sleep as when he was awake. Nick felt a little twinge of guilt, knowing he was one of the reasons Greg was this tired. Greg visited him in the hospital every day and night, and because Nick's parents were always there, Greg would just steal glances at him, trying not to upset him by saying or doing anything that might set off his uncertain emotions.
Finally Nick realized that he really needed to touch Greg and he leaned forward carefully and breathed soft kisses on the back of Greg's neck. Tenderly he left a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses down Greg's back and over the scars, down to the sheet covering his hips. Nick smiled when he heard a soft moan as Greg started to move.
Greg rolled onto his back and smiled at Nick sleepily. "Hey, sleeping –" Nick started. Greg shook his head and pressed a finger to Nick's lips, then made a "zip it!" motion against his own. Nick suddenly had a lot to say to Greg but he remembered that he was the one who said no talking earlier and apparently Greg was taking that to heart. For the moment Nick just ran his hands slowly over Greg's skin, and Greg looked up at him with that open, unguarded look that only Nick ever got to see.
Finally Greg sat up and pulled Nick into the middle of the bed. Nick wasn't as flexible as Greg, so he bent one leg and left the other straight, while Greg settled cross-legged between Nick's legs. Nick wanted to do everything they'd ever done right now, but Greg leaned slowly toward Nick, touching his face with his hand and pressing soft kisses on his forehead, cheek, down the side of his neck, and finally on his lips. Nick gasped and leaned into the kiss, trying to deepen it, but Greg's kiss was sweet and gentle. Nick raised his hands to unbutton his shirt, but Greg gently pushed Nick's hands away and went back to exploring him. Nick looked at Greg as if he was seeing him for the first time and caught his breath for only the thousandth time since he'd known him.
Greg ran his hands over Nick's thighs and he felt the heat of Greg's hands through his jeans. He wanted more and he wanted this to never stop. Nick had missed Greg so much during the three days in the hospital, he hadn't realized how much he needed the daily casual touches and hugs.
He leaned in to kiss Greg and felt Greg's mouth open to him. He sucked Greg's tongue into his mouth, awed at Greg's willingness to give himself to him. He tried to remember if he had ever given himself to Greg this completely and he came to the conclusion that he couldn't kiss and think at the same time and he'd have to ponder this later.
Greg moaned softly and Nick glared at him playfully, making the zipping motion again. Greg widened his eyes and glared back but Nick didn't back down. So Greg attacked the sensitive spots on Nick's neck, the hollow right between his collar bones, the curve where his neck flowed into his shoulders and his right earlobe, kissing, nipping and sucking mercilessly until Nick was squirming and groaning with frustration. Greg laughed at Nick with that enchantingly crooked grin, and got a pen and a notebook from his nightstand drawer where he kept them to record particularly interesting dreams or positions he thought they could try. Greg wrote: "moaning okay, but no talking!"
Greg tossed the book and pen aside and pushed Nick flat on the bed. He crawled up, his knees straddling Nick and leaned down to kiss him. He put his hand on the back of Nick's neck to angle his head slightly for a slow, tender kiss. Nick deepened the kiss while his arms slid around Greg's waist, pressing him closer, holding on for dear life.
When Nick started rocking his hips a little against Greg’s, he realized he was still fully dressed while Greg was completely and unselfconsciously naked. Greg pushed himself away gasping for air, his eyes a little dazed as he sank down next to Nick and allowed his hands to roam. His hand cupped Nick's erection thru his jeans and closed around it. Nick gasped and arched into the gentle touch. He started to whimper a little, startled at the touch but also at the thought that this was how they both were: he was fully dressed and buttoned down, careful not to give away too much. Greg was open and honest and naked, at least until Nick's insistence on secrecy. Nick was changing all the things he loved most about Greg and it scared him a little but that was something else to think about later.
Nick needed to get out of his clothes, needed to feel Greg's skin against his. He started ripping off his shirt and Greg slowed him down again, stroking down Nick's shoulders and arms soothingly as he peeled the shirt away. Greg then teased Nick's jeans and boxers down his legs.
Nick yanked Greg down and gasped as he felt Greg's skin against his own. Nick's cock was achingly hard and he wanted to do it now and he also wanted it to last forever. Slowly, luxuriously, they tasted, smelled and kissed, rediscovering the sensitive spots, trying to touch each other everywhere at once. They rolled together on the bed and kissed, sliding their cocks together, thrusting against each other with increasing need. Greg slid his hands down Nick's sides, tracing Nick's muscles, caressing his arms, chest and back. Nick was panting and thrusting and he couldn't get enough of how amazing it felt to touch Greg wherever he wanted.
This wasn't frantic groping but it still felt desperate to Nick. He felt like he couldn't get close enough to Greg, he couldn't hold him tight enough, couldn't kiss him deep enough. He wanted to breathe Greg in and he needed to show Greg how much he loved him. He saw the shadows under Greg's eyes and he wanted to erase them. He kissed Greg as if he was air and Nick was suffocating.
Greg sensed what Nick needed so he reached over to the nightstand and offered Nick a condom and lube. He rolled on his back, smiling up at Nick and pulling his knees up. Again Nick caught his breath at the love willingly being offered to him. He gazed at Greg's eyes, those deep velvet brown eyes that looked love into his. He stared at the condom in his hand and he pulled Greg up, shaking, as he slowly pressed it into Greg's hand.
Startled, Greg raised his eyes from his hand with a questioning look. Nick smiled tremulously and nodded. Greg looked like he wanted to ask if Nick was really sure. Nick nodded again and slid down on his back, looking up at Greg.
Greg looked stunned. He lunged forward off balance, grasped Nick's shoulders hard, awkwardly pulling him forward for a deep, intense kiss. Greg took a breath, trying to steady himself as his trembling hands stroked Nick's cock, dipping lower to caress his balls and finally brushing over Nick's opening.
Nick's hips jerked and he tore his mouth away from Greg's to gasp for air. Nick's eyes fluttered open and he nodded more emphatically at Greg, pulling him closer. Greg felt Nick's hand on his cock, realizing that Nick was rolling the condom onto him, and he had to control himself against the unfamiliar sensation.
Nick slicked Greg's fingers. As Greg slowly pressed a finger inside him, Nick couldn't believe the new sensations flooding through him. He'd always assumed that there was both pain and pleasure involved. There was, but when Greg added another finger and brushed across that spot deep inside, the pleasure was so exquisite the pain melted away and he thrust up harder to get more. He realized how carelessly he had just taken this from Greg.
"Greg, please…" Nick moaned. He pulled Greg closer between his raised knees, feet flat on the bed. Nick panted and moaned as he felt Greg slide inside him. He couldn’t stop himself from gripping Greg's hips hard enough to bruise, he just needed to be as close to Greg as he could. Nick felt an overwhelming sense of connection with Greg that he'd never felt before. Greg paused to allow Nick to relax, looking into his eyes from inches away. Then Greg started to move slowly and sensuously, angling his hips to hit that spot inside Nick with each stroke.
Nick felt so out of control he couldn't remember his name, couldn't remember how to talk. At last he'd found that feeling he'd been looking for, that he was breathing Greg, that he was closer than ever before, that he and Greg were one. Greg was deep inside him and he felt like he was inside Greg. He gazed into Greg's eyes until the room disappeared, until all he could see were those velvet brown eyes with flecks of gold and the shine of unshed tears reflecting the candlelight.
Greg stroked Nick's cock in time to his thrusts. Nick was so lost in this new feeling of belonging and connection he cried out in surprise as he came over Greg's stomach and chest. Greg closed his eyes then, his thrusts got harder and more erratic until finally he collapsed on top of Nick with a shudder as he came.
Greg lay panting. Finally he pulled out and leaned over to the wastebasket to dispose of the condom. Then he moved back on top of Nick clutching him as if he too couldn't get close enough. Nick held Greg close with one arm and rolled slightly to retrieve his boxers to clean them both. Nick wrapped his arms around Greg, lost in wonder at this new experience. Gently he stroked up and down Greg's back, feeling where smooth perfect skin met with rough scarred skin.
He tightened his arms as he heard a soft choked sob from Greg and realized he was crying. "What's wrong, are you okay, Greg?" He tried to raise Greg's chin but he only burrowed tighter into Nick's shoulder. "Greg, you're scaring me, what's wrong?"
Greg tried to catch his breath. "I thought I'd… lost you. I was so afraid… I thought… what if I never see… you again. I thought about how I would feel." Nick was shaken as he heard the deep anguish in Greg's voice. "And the last thing I said to you… before… And you've been so hard to… reach…"
"Shhh, babe. I knew you didn't mean it," Nick soothed. He ran a hand through Greg's hair, massaging his neck. "The fight was silly and it was my fault. I'm so caught up worrying if I'm disappointing people that I wasn't worrying about disappointing you." He paused. This talking about feelings stuff wasn't easy for him but he had to make the effort because losing Greg would be so much harder.
Nick felt regretful; for days he'd counted on Greg's love and support. He had leaned on him when his parents' concern started to chafe and snapped at him when friends from work pressed him too hard to talk about how he felt but Nick had never considered what Greg was going through posing as his "friend" instead of being acknowledged as the most important person in Nick's life.
"I pushed you and I shouldn't have," sighed Greg. "I know you love me. You don't have to tell everyone."
Nick said, "I think I'm just beginning to realize how much you love me. And how much I love you." He took a breath, "It makes me feel stronger to be there for you. Lean on me now, it's my turn." He wrapped his arms tightly around Greg and stroked his back soothingly.
Greg hiccuped and then laughed a little. "I guess we lean on each other."
They lay wrapped together and Nick could feel Greg's breathing slow as he started to fall asleep. And Nick wondered if he could take the next step.
TBC
Another A/N: Thank you Helena_eternal, you requested this and sent me on a journey that is becoming very meaningful.
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Date: 2005-06-10 04:22 am (UTC)