Transatlanticism 1-5/10

[postnotice.livejournal.com]

Transatlanticism [1-5/10]
Summary: Maybe Greg should have seen this coming, should have seen early on how closed off Nick was, but somewhere along the line, his crush fell into a dark, despairing kind of love he had trouble fighting his way out of. "I need you so much closer." [based off the Death Cab for Cutie album of the same name]
Rated: T/PG-13
Genre: Angst/Angst. c:
Spoilers up until S3/S4
NOTES: I've never seen S4, so it's technically a S4 AU because of that.
feedback, I can be down with. Just don't be an ass.

I'm only posting this here twice; now (the half-way mark), and again when it's completed. So, because of this, if you're interested in it and don't want to wait, you can either head over to fanfiction.net (._., I know) or read it on my LJ. [or bully me into posting it here, I suppose ;D]

Chapter One | Lightness
Chapter Two | The Sound of Settling
Chapter Three | Passenger Seat
Chapter Four | Expo '86

 

The New Year

I wish the world was flat like the old days
then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
there’d be no distance that could hold us back.

--

December 22, 2003

It might all be in his head, but Nick seems to have only gotten worse since the triple homicide he and Warrick worked. He’s at the lab so often now that Greg’s stopped asking if he can come over and just does; by the time Greg’s next shift starts, Nick still hasn’t gone home. It’s like he’s traded his king-sized bed for the couch in the break room at work.

Greg caught him alone once, asked him if he felt crowded, if Greg should lay off on staying at Nick’s place. Nick just pressed a soft kiss to his lips, told him not to worry, and went back to work. Thing is, and Greg’s pretty certain that Nick has no idea, what Nick says and what Nick does clash; Greg can be soothed by what Nick says and fifteen minutes later, he’s worried again because of something Nick did. It’s tiring. Greg’s sick of being kept on his toes all the damn time.

“Stokes!” he calls down the hallway before Nick can disappear into a layout room. “I need to talk to you.”

“Uh…” Nick smiles as Greg stops in front of him. “Can it wait?”

“No.” Greg looks through the window into the room they’re standing outside of. “Here.”

There’s reluctance in Nick’s steps that Greg would find amusing if he wasn’t quite so angry. When Greg closes the door behind them, he almost looks scared. “You’re never at home anymore.”

Nick looks confused. “Is this our talk?”

“Is it because of me? ‘Cause if it is, either tell me or break it off, don’t keep me hanging.” Greg is extremely aware of how clingy this makes him sound. He tries to act casual.

“Of course it’s not you. There’s a lot of work to be done here, Greg. We’re flooded with cases. All shifts are working until they fall asleep at a microscope; it’s not really something I have control over.”

“Sure, sure. That’s why I don’t have backlog to keep me occupied.”

Nick glares. Greg does his best to glare back. “Why are you so obsessed with this? Is my answer not good enough?”

“You’re not the least bit concerned that our only time spent together is at work when you have an extra thirty seconds to drop by evidence instead of sending another lab tech to do it?”

“No, not really.” Greg raises his eyebrows. “Fine, you wanna talk, we’ll talk. Next time Grissom comes by, I’ll tell him I have to take off because my mother’s in town or something, all right? We’ll talk before I leave for Texas for the holidays.”

Texas? “You never said anything about going home for the holidays.”

Nick’s smile is so soft, Greg almost forgets why he’s angry. “I did. Last week, before we went in for work.”

Greg vaguely remembers answering the phone at Nick’s when he’d been too busy to answer it himself. He also remembers the threats from Nick’s mother about a strange man answering Nick’s house phone that kept Greg from answering his own phone for the next two days. “That was before I had coffee. It might have well not even taken place.” It’s a low shot, but at this point, Greg will take what he can get.

Nick laughs and pulls him into a work-safe, one-armed hug. Greg wonders why all Nick Stokes has to do is show some sort of compassion for Greg to forgive him. That can’t be a good thing. “I’m sorry,” Nick whispers in a low voice filled with what Greg hopes is sincerity. “I’ll make it up to you, mmm?”

“Oh, you’re gonna make it up to me?”

Nick winks. Greg thinks his knees are going to give out. He’s still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that Nick wants him, of all people. “If you’ll let me.”

“Great! Let’s go to my place and talk about our feelings and cry.” Nick blinks, dropping his arm from Greg’s shoulders. “I’m kidding, cowboy. Sheesh.”

Nick’s small smile is obviously forced, so Greg decides not to tell him that he’s a little bit serious. He really does want Nick to open up, even just a little bit, but if he doesn’t want to, well, Greg can’t exactly do anything about that. Besides, having Nick in tears wouldn’t exactly help the matter.

“Am I staying over?”

Greg’s already to the door, so he turns back and clicks his tongue. “Only if you want to.” He opens the door and leaves, ignoring Nick’s frustrated moan. A sinking feeling settles in his stomach as he realizes that he hadn’t gotten much out of that conversation other than that he’ll be alone for Christmas. Maybe he can talk Grissom into letting him work.

--

December 24, 2003

“Working? Really?”

“Well, if you couldn’t go home for the holidays and your boyfriend was with his family, would you want to stay at home alone?” Greg responds after a quick look around to make sure nobody can hear him. “It’s really quiet here. Grissom and Sara are the only CSI’s and the labs might as well be empty. Bobby, Archie, Jacqui, Ronnie, they’re all replaced with an overqualified pompous ass that’s worse than Hodges with how much ass she kisses.”

Nick chuckles. “Is he working?”

“Of course,” Greg says, waving at Hodges as he passes by. “Where would he go?”

“Catherine with Lindsey?”

“She threatened to quit if Grissom wouldn’t let her have tonight off.” Greg pauses, drags his finger along the edge of the table in front of him, wondering how far is too far. Still, taking chances with Nick has seemed to work out in his favor for the last while… “I miss you, you know,” he finally says, heart beating a mile a minute. Nick really could take that in any way.

“I miss you too.” Greg’s actually a little surprised; he hadn’t expected such easy admittance. “I’m back in Vegas the day after tomorrow, and I start work again on the twenty-eighth.”

“No fair; how’d you get so many days off?”

“No fair? You’re the one voluntarily working a holiday. I put in for them last year on the thirtieth.”

“No fair because you’re not here and you’re off spending time with your family.” Hodges has stopped doing whatever it is he’s doing in favor of staring at Greg through the glass walls. Greg grins and waves at him again.

“Do you work on the twenty-seventh?”

“I do now,” Greg replies solemnly, throwing a pen at Hodges. It bounces off the wall and rolls back toward him. Greg leaves it there. “I wouldn’t have taken it if I knew you’d be free.”

“Sorry. Probably should have mentioned that.”

Greg snorts. “You think?” A beat. He really doesn’t want to fight with Nick. “Whatever, though. We’ll work something out.” Hodges knocks on the wall loudly and holds up a piece of paper that reads GRISSOM, COMING TO DNA NOW. “I have to go,” Greg says, wondering when Hodges had gotten so considerate. “Duty calls.” He takes his feet down from the desk and tries to look busy. “I’ll talk to you later.” He forces himself to keep the ‘I love you’ inside his head. “Bye!” His phone makes it in his pocket just as Grissom opens the door to DNA. “Slow night, eh, boss?”

Grissom gives him an odd look along with the samples, but doesn’t say anything that doesn’t relate to the case.

Greg tells himself to thank Hodges as soon as he can.

--

December 25, 2003

“Checkmate,” Greg says lazily, rubbing at his forehead. It’s three AM, and Greg’s spent the last two hours playing chess with Hodges in the trace lab. His cell phone sits next to the board on the table, but hasn’t lit up with a page or a text or a call since Nick called around eleven thirty.

Hodges grumbles under his breath but sets the board back up. “Isn’t this a little odd? I mean, I always thought crime rates actually soared around holidays.”

“Mostly suicide, I think,” Greg responds, twisting in his chair to both crack his back and to see if anything exciting has happened in the last five seconds. "I'd kill to have something to process right now."

"I don't think it's legal to process your own evidence."

"Oh, shut up. You know what I mean."

The rest of the game passes in silence, with Greg once again winning, though it's not terribly hard when Hodges says everything he plans to do out loud. He’s certainly not a very good chess player.

"Don't you have something other than chess in the lab?" Greg asks as they end their fifteenth game of the night.

Hodges shakes his head. "I think there's Monopoly and jigsaw puzzles in the break room." Greg hums in recognition, spinning in his chair. "Oh, but you don't play games that don't require skill."

"Sure I do. Monopoly doesn't require skill, it requires knowing how to add and subtract. Multiply."

"Isn't math a skill?"

"Shut up." Hodges leans back in his seat, a little smugly. "Why do I put up with you?"

"Because nobody else will. And because Nick's in Texas."

Greg smiles sweetly. "And people say you have terrible social skills."

A few more moments pass in silence. Greg wills his cell phone to light up with a page. It doesn't. "How can they afford to pay us for this overtime, anyway? If nothing's happening." Hodges shrugs. "Well, I'm certainly in good company."

"I'll have you know you're in amazing company. I just don't like opening my mouth around you."

"I'm going to find something to do. Maybe that temp has something interesting."

Greg gets up from his seat, ignoring Hodges as he says something back. The lab is quiet - majority of the workers there are catching up on old paperwork or, like he and Hodges, playing games. The temp is sitting in Jacqui’s lab, running a sample as she watches a surveillance video. Greg’s not even sure this is entirely legal, but he decides that’s not exactly the right foot to start out on.

“Hey. How’s it—“

She waves a hand sporadically at him and says, “Shush, please,” before pausing the video. “It is not polite to walk in on one while they’re working.” Greg frowns; clearly, with this woman, that would have been the right foot. “Can I help you?”

“Um. Well, I was actually wondering if you needed any help. DNA’s empty and I’m done with paperwork, and I know that you’re working like, four jobs, so…”

“What’s your name again?” Greg would be a little more hurt about her not remembering his name, but he doesn’t remember hers either.

“Greg San-“

“Greg, I’m perfectly capable of doing this work on my own,” she says, and turns back to her video.

Greg scoffs, but she doesn’t turn around. “Okay then…” When he leaves the lab room, he runs right in to Hodges. “I guess I was wrong.” Hodges raises an eyebrow. “I thought she didn’t have social skills. She does; just not nice ones.”

“I never want to know what your first impression of me was.”

Greg winks as he walks away, headed for the breakroom. “Good thing, ‘cause I’m not gonna tell you.”

--

December 27, 2003

“How’d the holidays go, cowboy? Santa bring all the nieces and nephews their gifts on time? No lumps of coal?”

“Went as well as it always does. What’s a family get together without some drama, anyway?”

Greg taps his finger against the counter, waiting for the coffee to finish. His foot taps the floor just as quickly, though his socks muffle the sound. “Y’know, Papa Olaf used to tell me that Santa was a skinny guy with anger issues that beat little kids with a belt if they weren’t good all year.” Nick pauses in searching through his cupboards to look at him. “What? You’ve never heard that version of Santa Claus?”

“No, I’ve heard it; I just can’t imagine going through life scared you’re going to be beaten by someone you don’t know. That certainly puts a whole new spin on Santa Claus seeing everything you do.”

“Oh, you should hear the ones about Santa being a child molester. That’s entertaining."

With a heavy sigh, Nick sets a box down on the counter. "I'm assuming that all these alternative stories come from adults?"

Greg shrugs. "What kid in their right mind would write letters to a child molester? Assuming that their parents have already talked to them about child molesters." He pauses. "How would you even start that subject, anyway?"

Nick presses a quick kiss to his lips and says, "Pan's are in the cupboard behind you; any chance you'll let me through?"

"Oh, I don't know. Now that I have you completely at my mercy..." Greg trails off menacingly, but moves out of the way anyway. "Seriously, though, how was it? Any break downs, admittance of divorce or cancer or anything else that's making you so..." He gestures with his hands. Nick doesn't get it. "So... not you?"

After Nick's set the pan down on the counter beside the coffee pot, Greg's graced with another kiss, softer and longer than the first. When they pull away, Greg's hands are shaking. This can't turn out well. "Okay, you're really scaring me, here."

“My parents want to meet you.”

Greg really hopes his nervous smile doesn’t falter. “Come again?”

“They hounded me about finding someone, and… And I told them. About you.”

Greg pulls away with a chuckle. “Wow. Wow.” A heavy silence follows, then, “I’m a guy, right? I don’t have to meet them and wear skirts and pretend I’m a girl?”

The soft smile that lights up Nick’s face settles Greg’s hands almost completely. “Of course not. They know who you are. Hell, my dad probably ran a background check on you as soon as I left.”

“Great. Great.”

“You’re okay? Not angry that I did this without talking to you?” Nick asks, leading Greg to a chair.

“No. I mean, yeah, it’d have been nice to have some warning, but no. That’s fine.” He scratches absently at his cheek. Parents. Jeez. “Um. You didn’t just do this because, because you’re not talking about anything, are you?”

Nick pauses. “Not talking about anything?”

Greg frowns a little and shakes his head. “Uh, never mind.”

Nick looks at him for a few moments but doesn’t ask for clarification about it again. “Anyway. I know it’s still early and everything and if you’d rather not meet them, I’m sure I can hold them off, but…”

With a smile, Greg manages to hold the rest of Nick’s words at bay. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He suddenly remembers how terrifying Nick’s mother had been on the phone, and licks his lips. Drawing circles on the tabletop with his fingertip, he asks, “Your mom’s less scary in real life, right?”

--

Comments

[fyrefly101.livejournal.com]

Awesome - 1-5 so far have been great. Seeing the relationship develop, and then leaving it there? Definitely leaving me wanting more!!

[postnotice.livejournal.com]

Aww. c: Thanks!

[charlie-jae.livejournal.com]

Read one through five yesterday and just had to come back and tell you, that I want more, lol. I like how its not all smooth between them, little bit of that rocky path. I can't wait to see what comes next. That last line btw, had me cracking up.

[postnotice.livejournal.com]

x3 Glad you got a kick out of that, heh. Thanks for reading! :D