"Kjaere" (Nick/Greg, 12/12)
Aug. 6th, 2009 04:15 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
snow-white.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregTitle – Kjaere
Author -![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
black_dahlia63
Characters – Nick Stokes, Greg Sanders, various OC’s
Spoilers - Fannysmackin’
Rating – PG
Warning – Serious angst, but hey…people kind of expect that from me by now, right?
Disclaimer – not mine, don’t sue.
Thanks go to Lin for her invaluable assistance, and to all those of you who have stuck with this even though it took me an age to finish it. And for any of you who may have a soft spot for Luke (it can’t just be me!), there is a sequel in the works involving him...
Previous instalments here.
September 4th – Las Vegas
Dear Grandma Jillian –
We went to see Greg this afternoon. I like the new place where he lives, because it has a kitchen and a bathroom just like our apartment, but I still want him to come home soon. We took some Dr. Pepper and some of the coffee that Greg likes and put it in his fridge, so when we go and see him we can all have a drink. He goes in a big swimming pool with one of the nurses, and Nick says that’s going to help his arms and legs get better. There’s a man called Ben who works at the hospital, and he helps people who’ve hurt their heads to learn to speak properly again. He asked me to bring some of my old books in, and me and Nick read them with Greg because they’re easy for him to understand. He doesn’t say all the words right yet, but Ben said that if we all help him he’ll learn to. Nick goes to special lessons with Greg so that he knows what to do to help him when he comes home. Sometimes Madison’s sister Jessie comes to babysit me while Nick’s at the lessons if Angie’s busy. Jessie has a real earring in her belly button, and I told Nick I want one too but he says I have to wait till I’m forty five.
Will you come and see us soon?
Love
Emily xx
“Are you happy with that?” Nick asked, once he’d read the letter back to his daughter, and when he received a nod in response he pressed the ‘send’ button. “All right, missy, it’s time we got you into your jammies,” he went on. “You have ballet class tomorrow morning, and we need to go out for our snack, don’t we?” and he lifted Emily down off his lap, keeping hold of her hand while they headed for her bedroom.
“Nick -”
“What, sweetheart?”
“When’s Greg gonna come home?”
“Not for a little while yet,” Nick replied, retreading ground that was visited at least once a day. “He has to learn to do a lot of things before he can come home,” and he stood in the doorway as Emily pulled her Barbie pyjamas from beneath her pillow and quickly put them on. “When you’re asleep for as long as Greg was asleep -”
“You said it’s a coma.”
“Well, when you’re in a coma for as long as Greg was,” Nick said, reminded once again that Emily was almost five and didn’t miss much, “lots of things don’t work very well when you wake up again. You know how your foot falls asleep when you sit like a frog in front of the TV?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, because Greg didn’t use his legs for so long they fell asleep too, but a lot worse than your foot,” Nick continued. “That’s why he has to go in the pool and do all those exercises in the gym.”
“He doesn’t like the exercises,” Emily said. “He makes a face, ‘cause it hurts him.”
“I know that,” Nick said, stepping into the room to put one arm round his daughter. “But pretty soon the exercises won’t hurt him so much, and that’s going to mean he’s getting better.”
“Will he be home for my birthday?”
“No, honey, he won’t,” Nick said gently. “There’s a lot of things we need to do before he comes home -”
“What things?”
“Well, he’s going to have to do the exercises for a long time,” Nick replied. “The doctors have to make sure he can do things like wash himself, dress himself -”
“Make breakfast?”
“That’s right,” Nick said, tickling Emily and making her giggle, and the sound warmed his heart. “You’re always thinking about your belly, aren’t you? And we have to make sure he can manage in the apartment, because even when he comes home he might not be able to do everything he could do before he was hurt.”
“What if he can’t manage?”
“Well, if he can’t,” Nick told her, sitting on the bed and drawing Emily onto his lap as he spoke, “we might need to move somewhere else,” and he held his breath as the two of them looked at each other in silence. When the social worker at the rehab centre had visited the apartment she’d been up front with him about the fact that it was going to be hard for Greg to continue living there, even with the best possible prognosis – and while Nick knew he had put off talking to Emily about it long enough, he was still apprehensive about her reaction to more upheaval.
“Would I have to have a new babysitter?”
“No, you’d still go to Angie’s house,” Nick said with a smile. “We wouldn’t move very far.”
“To a new apartment?”
“Well, maybe a house,” was Nick’s response. “Just a small one, with no stairs or elevator,” and he studied his daughter’s face closely. “What do you think about that?”
“What colour would my new room be?”
“We can paint it whatever colour you want,” Nick said with a smile. “How does that sound?”
“Red and black,” Emily told him, her face brightening. “Just like Jessie’s,” and she scrambled down off his lap. “Can we go for our snack now?”
*********
September 29th - Burlington, Vermont – 6.45 p.m
“You look tired,” Faith said as she opened the oven and took out a chicken that had been roasted to perfection. “When did you last get a break?”
“Don’t ask,” Luke told his sister. “You need a hand with anything?”
“You can go tell the boys to wash up,” was the answer. “Paul said we should start without him, he’s at a partners’ meeting and he said it might run late.”
“How far’s the lap dancing club from his office?” Luke said with a grin, dodging the oven mitt that was aimed at his head and heading into the hallway; he ascended the curved staircase two steps at a time, his ears picking up the sound of a television being played far too loud, and pushed open a door that bore a sign showing a smiling cartoon rabbit accompanied by the words School prepares you for the real world which also sucks.
“Hey, you two, your mom says to wash up for supper.”
“We gotta finish watching this first,” Ben replied with the nonchalance only a six year old could muster. “It’s about a witch, and she goes in little kids’ rooms -”
“You shouldn’t let him watch stuff like that, Max,” Luke told his oldest nephew. “He’ll get nightmares.”
“Dad lets him watch it too,” Max replied without looking round, and it was only then that Luke focused his attention on the screen.
“But if dad went after it, why is it still breathing air?”
“’Cause it got away.”
“Got away?”
“Yeah, Sammy, it happens...”
- and Luke’s mind was suddenly filled with an image of a young man with messy dark hair and green eyes, sprawled on a bed in one of the rooms at the Black Cat and then rising to his knees...
“Turn that shit off,” he said, something clenching in his chest. “Supper’s ready.”
“You swore!” Ben crowed. “That means you have to give us a dollar!”
“Geez, bitch much?” Max muttered under his breath. “What’s your problem?”
“Just get washed up,” Luke said tersely, and he left the room without looking back.
**********
October 10th, Las Vegas – 5.00 p.m
“Greg!” Emily shouted, a delighted smile appearing on her lips, and she ran across the room to scramble up into Greg’s lap as he sat in the wheelchair. “You’re out of bed! Can we go for a walk?”
“Sweetie, take it easy,” Nick said as he caught up with them and leaned down to kiss Greg’s upturned mouth. “Remember -”
“’S all right,” Greg said, enunciating the words carefully. “Coffee?”
“Yes, boss, I’ll make it,” Nick said, lowering his head for another kiss, and then he walked into the spotlessly clean kitchen. As he set about making a pot of coffee he tuned in to what was happening in the room behind him – and he was unable to stop smiling.
“What day is it?”
“Monday.”
“Shall we read one of my books?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, what’s that?”
“Car – red car.”
“That’s right! And who’s driving the car?”
“Cat.”
“No, it isn’t a cat,” and there was patience in Emily’s voice. “He says ‘woof woof’ -”
“D – dog.”
“Yes!” and there was the sound of a noisy kiss. “You did it!”
“Nick!”
“Yes?”
“Coffee?”
“It’s coming,” Nick called back. “Emily, tell him to stop bossing me around!” and the sound of Greg and Emily laughing in the other room made a lump swell in Nick’s throat – because there had been so many times over the last eleven months when he’d never imagined having his family back again.
**********
October 19th - 2.00 p.m
“How old are you now?” the nurse asked. “Twenty one?”
“Five!” Emily said, giggling, as she tore open the box that held the newest addition to her collection of Barbie dolls, which Nick and Greg had chosen the previous week during a trip to a nearby mall.
They had been going on outings, accompanied by one of the nurses, for over a month, but the trip to the mall had been the first one they’d made by themselves. Although he’d been to countless sessions which had prepared him for what he would need to do as Greg’s primary carer, Nick had still been nervous about taking him out without anyone else along to help – but the afternoon’s events had told him he needn’t have been. After their shopping trip they’d stopped at a restaurant for lunch, where Greg had ordered pizza because he still found it easier to eat with his fingers than use a knife and fork; he’d been getting a little tired, which had made him slur his words a little, but he’d had no trouble making himself understood when it had counted.
“Are you finished there?” asks the waitress, a young woman with perfect teeth and blonde hair swept back in a ponytail. “Dessert, sir?”
“No, thanks,” Nick says, slightly irritated that the questions are automatically directed at him because he isn’t the one in the wheelchair – but he’s been warned that this might happen, so he grits his teeth and smiles. “I’m fine.”
“How about your friend?”
“Coffee,” Greg pipes up, and as he smiles at the waitress his right hand – which is still weak, but getting better – reaches across the table to grasp Nick’s wrist. “Thank you.”
“I’m sleeping at Madison’s house tonight,” Emily was telling Greg. “We’re going to go out to Circus Circus for supper, and Jessie said she’d paint my nails and do my makeup -”
“We’ll see about that,” Nick said, winking at Greg as he spoke. “Oh, Emily, look – what’s Joanne got?” and the two men watched the little girl’s face light up as one of the nurses walked out onto the lawn with a cake frosted in pink and decorated with sparklers. “Come on, G, help me out here -”
“Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Emily
Happy birthday to you...”
**********
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Emily said, standing on her toes to kiss Greg’s cheek and hug him. “Nick, can I go and say goodbye to Joanne?”
“Yes, but don’t disturb her if she’s busy,” Nick told her, and he watched her leave the room before turning back to Greg. “Hey,” he said softly, seeing tears welling in the other man’s eyes, and his throat tightened; he’d known for some time that Greg’s mind was basically intact, and he couldn’t imagine how much pain Greg must be in at the realisation that he’d missed so much of Emily’s last year. “It’s okay,” and as the tears spilled down Greg’s cheeks Nick bent down to brush them away with his fingertips. “I’m coming back tonight, remember?” he whispered, and he planted a gentle kiss on Greg’s lips just as a small figure reappeared in the doorway.
“Come on, Nick! We’ll be late!”
**********
9.45 p.m
“Do you need anything?”
“’M fine,” Greg replied, watching from where he sat propped up in bed, and Nick moved to the window to draw the blinds closed.
This was another step towards normality, towards things being the way they had been – and as Nick turned off the overhead light, leaving the room lit only by the lamp on the nightstand, he felt something prickling behind his eyes at the knowledge that it had been almost a year since he’d done this.
He drew back the red comforter and climbed beneath it, turning on his side so that he could look at Greg; their eyes met, and the slightly lop-sided smile on Greg’s lips unlocked the tightness that had squeezed Nick’s heart for far too long.
“You want to turn the light off?”
“Mm-hmm,” and Greg reached out slowly towards the nightstand; moments later, the room was plunged into darkness.
Nick shifted closer to Greg, placing a hand carefully on his hip, and a few moments later he felt the familiar and never-forgotten pressure of a head resting against his shoulder.
And it didn’t matter that they were in the rehab centre instead of the apartment, it didn’t matter that this was just for one night and that Nick would go home the following morning – because they’d fought harder for this than they’d ever believed they’d have to, and the moment when Greg really came home was getting closer with every day that passed.
EPILOGUE FOLLOWS
Author -
black_dahlia63Characters – Nick Stokes, Greg Sanders, various OC’s
Spoilers - Fannysmackin’
Rating – PG
Warning – Serious angst, but hey…people kind of expect that from me by now, right?
Disclaimer – not mine, don’t sue.
Thanks go to Lin for her invaluable assistance, and to all those of you who have stuck with this even though it took me an age to finish it. And for any of you who may have a soft spot for Luke (it can’t just be me!), there is a sequel in the works involving him...
Previous instalments here.
September 4th – Las Vegas
Dear Grandma Jillian –
We went to see Greg this afternoon. I like the new place where he lives, because it has a kitchen and a bathroom just like our apartment, but I still want him to come home soon. We took some Dr. Pepper and some of the coffee that Greg likes and put it in his fridge, so when we go and see him we can all have a drink. He goes in a big swimming pool with one of the nurses, and Nick says that’s going to help his arms and legs get better. There’s a man called Ben who works at the hospital, and he helps people who’ve hurt their heads to learn to speak properly again. He asked me to bring some of my old books in, and me and Nick read them with Greg because they’re easy for him to understand. He doesn’t say all the words right yet, but Ben said that if we all help him he’ll learn to. Nick goes to special lessons with Greg so that he knows what to do to help him when he comes home. Sometimes Madison’s sister Jessie comes to babysit me while Nick’s at the lessons if Angie’s busy. Jessie has a real earring in her belly button, and I told Nick I want one too but he says I have to wait till I’m forty five.
Will you come and see us soon?
Love
Emily xx
“Are you happy with that?” Nick asked, once he’d read the letter back to his daughter, and when he received a nod in response he pressed the ‘send’ button. “All right, missy, it’s time we got you into your jammies,” he went on. “You have ballet class tomorrow morning, and we need to go out for our snack, don’t we?” and he lifted Emily down off his lap, keeping hold of her hand while they headed for her bedroom.
“Nick -”
“What, sweetheart?”
“When’s Greg gonna come home?”
“Not for a little while yet,” Nick replied, retreading ground that was visited at least once a day. “He has to learn to do a lot of things before he can come home,” and he stood in the doorway as Emily pulled her Barbie pyjamas from beneath her pillow and quickly put them on. “When you’re asleep for as long as Greg was asleep -”
“You said it’s a coma.”
“Well, when you’re in a coma for as long as Greg was,” Nick said, reminded once again that Emily was almost five and didn’t miss much, “lots of things don’t work very well when you wake up again. You know how your foot falls asleep when you sit like a frog in front of the TV?”
“Uh huh.”
“Well, because Greg didn’t use his legs for so long they fell asleep too, but a lot worse than your foot,” Nick continued. “That’s why he has to go in the pool and do all those exercises in the gym.”
“He doesn’t like the exercises,” Emily said. “He makes a face, ‘cause it hurts him.”
“I know that,” Nick said, stepping into the room to put one arm round his daughter. “But pretty soon the exercises won’t hurt him so much, and that’s going to mean he’s getting better.”
“Will he be home for my birthday?”
“No, honey, he won’t,” Nick said gently. “There’s a lot of things we need to do before he comes home -”
“What things?”
“Well, he’s going to have to do the exercises for a long time,” Nick replied. “The doctors have to make sure he can do things like wash himself, dress himself -”
“Make breakfast?”
“That’s right,” Nick said, tickling Emily and making her giggle, and the sound warmed his heart. “You’re always thinking about your belly, aren’t you? And we have to make sure he can manage in the apartment, because even when he comes home he might not be able to do everything he could do before he was hurt.”
“What if he can’t manage?”
“Well, if he can’t,” Nick told her, sitting on the bed and drawing Emily onto his lap as he spoke, “we might need to move somewhere else,” and he held his breath as the two of them looked at each other in silence. When the social worker at the rehab centre had visited the apartment she’d been up front with him about the fact that it was going to be hard for Greg to continue living there, even with the best possible prognosis – and while Nick knew he had put off talking to Emily about it long enough, he was still apprehensive about her reaction to more upheaval.
“Would I have to have a new babysitter?”
“No, you’d still go to Angie’s house,” Nick said with a smile. “We wouldn’t move very far.”
“To a new apartment?”
“Well, maybe a house,” was Nick’s response. “Just a small one, with no stairs or elevator,” and he studied his daughter’s face closely. “What do you think about that?”
“What colour would my new room be?”
“We can paint it whatever colour you want,” Nick said with a smile. “How does that sound?”
“Red and black,” Emily told him, her face brightening. “Just like Jessie’s,” and she scrambled down off his lap. “Can we go for our snack now?”
*********
September 29th - Burlington, Vermont – 6.45 p.m
“You look tired,” Faith said as she opened the oven and took out a chicken that had been roasted to perfection. “When did you last get a break?”
“Don’t ask,” Luke told his sister. “You need a hand with anything?”
“You can go tell the boys to wash up,” was the answer. “Paul said we should start without him, he’s at a partners’ meeting and he said it might run late.”
“How far’s the lap dancing club from his office?” Luke said with a grin, dodging the oven mitt that was aimed at his head and heading into the hallway; he ascended the curved staircase two steps at a time, his ears picking up the sound of a television being played far too loud, and pushed open a door that bore a sign showing a smiling cartoon rabbit accompanied by the words School prepares you for the real world which also sucks.
“Hey, you two, your mom says to wash up for supper.”
“We gotta finish watching this first,” Ben replied with the nonchalance only a six year old could muster. “It’s about a witch, and she goes in little kids’ rooms -”
“You shouldn’t let him watch stuff like that, Max,” Luke told his oldest nephew. “He’ll get nightmares.”
“Dad lets him watch it too,” Max replied without looking round, and it was only then that Luke focused his attention on the screen.
“But if dad went after it, why is it still breathing air?”
“’Cause it got away.”
“Got away?”
“Yeah, Sammy, it happens...”
- and Luke’s mind was suddenly filled with an image of a young man with messy dark hair and green eyes, sprawled on a bed in one of the rooms at the Black Cat and then rising to his knees...
“Turn that shit off,” he said, something clenching in his chest. “Supper’s ready.”
“You swore!” Ben crowed. “That means you have to give us a dollar!”
“Geez, bitch much?” Max muttered under his breath. “What’s your problem?”
“Just get washed up,” Luke said tersely, and he left the room without looking back.
**********
October 10th, Las Vegas – 5.00 p.m
“Greg!” Emily shouted, a delighted smile appearing on her lips, and she ran across the room to scramble up into Greg’s lap as he sat in the wheelchair. “You’re out of bed! Can we go for a walk?”
“Sweetie, take it easy,” Nick said as he caught up with them and leaned down to kiss Greg’s upturned mouth. “Remember -”
“’S all right,” Greg said, enunciating the words carefully. “Coffee?”
“Yes, boss, I’ll make it,” Nick said, lowering his head for another kiss, and then he walked into the spotlessly clean kitchen. As he set about making a pot of coffee he tuned in to what was happening in the room behind him – and he was unable to stop smiling.
“What day is it?”
“Monday.”
“Shall we read one of my books?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, what’s that?”
“Car – red car.”
“That’s right! And who’s driving the car?”
“Cat.”
“No, it isn’t a cat,” and there was patience in Emily’s voice. “He says ‘woof woof’ -”
“D – dog.”
“Yes!” and there was the sound of a noisy kiss. “You did it!”
“Nick!”
“Yes?”
“Coffee?”
“It’s coming,” Nick called back. “Emily, tell him to stop bossing me around!” and the sound of Greg and Emily laughing in the other room made a lump swell in Nick’s throat – because there had been so many times over the last eleven months when he’d never imagined having his family back again.
**********
October 19th - 2.00 p.m
“How old are you now?” the nurse asked. “Twenty one?”
“Five!” Emily said, giggling, as she tore open the box that held the newest addition to her collection of Barbie dolls, which Nick and Greg had chosen the previous week during a trip to a nearby mall.
They had been going on outings, accompanied by one of the nurses, for over a month, but the trip to the mall had been the first one they’d made by themselves. Although he’d been to countless sessions which had prepared him for what he would need to do as Greg’s primary carer, Nick had still been nervous about taking him out without anyone else along to help – but the afternoon’s events had told him he needn’t have been. After their shopping trip they’d stopped at a restaurant for lunch, where Greg had ordered pizza because he still found it easier to eat with his fingers than use a knife and fork; he’d been getting a little tired, which had made him slur his words a little, but he’d had no trouble making himself understood when it had counted.
“Are you finished there?” asks the waitress, a young woman with perfect teeth and blonde hair swept back in a ponytail. “Dessert, sir?”
“No, thanks,” Nick says, slightly irritated that the questions are automatically directed at him because he isn’t the one in the wheelchair – but he’s been warned that this might happen, so he grits his teeth and smiles. “I’m fine.”
“How about your friend?”
“Coffee,” Greg pipes up, and as he smiles at the waitress his right hand – which is still weak, but getting better – reaches across the table to grasp Nick’s wrist. “Thank you.”
“I’m sleeping at Madison’s house tonight,” Emily was telling Greg. “We’re going to go out to Circus Circus for supper, and Jessie said she’d paint my nails and do my makeup -”
“We’ll see about that,” Nick said, winking at Greg as he spoke. “Oh, Emily, look – what’s Joanne got?” and the two men watched the little girl’s face light up as one of the nurses walked out onto the lawn with a cake frosted in pink and decorated with sparklers. “Come on, G, help me out here -”
“Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Emily
Happy birthday to you...”
**********
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Emily said, standing on her toes to kiss Greg’s cheek and hug him. “Nick, can I go and say goodbye to Joanne?”
“Yes, but don’t disturb her if she’s busy,” Nick told her, and he watched her leave the room before turning back to Greg. “Hey,” he said softly, seeing tears welling in the other man’s eyes, and his throat tightened; he’d known for some time that Greg’s mind was basically intact, and he couldn’t imagine how much pain Greg must be in at the realisation that he’d missed so much of Emily’s last year. “It’s okay,” and as the tears spilled down Greg’s cheeks Nick bent down to brush them away with his fingertips. “I’m coming back tonight, remember?” he whispered, and he planted a gentle kiss on Greg’s lips just as a small figure reappeared in the doorway.
“Come on, Nick! We’ll be late!”
**********
9.45 p.m
“Do you need anything?”
“’M fine,” Greg replied, watching from where he sat propped up in bed, and Nick moved to the window to draw the blinds closed.
This was another step towards normality, towards things being the way they had been – and as Nick turned off the overhead light, leaving the room lit only by the lamp on the nightstand, he felt something prickling behind his eyes at the knowledge that it had been almost a year since he’d done this.
He drew back the red comforter and climbed beneath it, turning on his side so that he could look at Greg; their eyes met, and the slightly lop-sided smile on Greg’s lips unlocked the tightness that had squeezed Nick’s heart for far too long.
“You want to turn the light off?”
“Mm-hmm,” and Greg reached out slowly towards the nightstand; moments later, the room was plunged into darkness.
Nick shifted closer to Greg, placing a hand carefully on his hip, and a few moments later he felt the familiar and never-forgotten pressure of a head resting against his shoulder.
And it didn’t matter that they were in the rehab centre instead of the apartment, it didn’t matter that this was just for one night and that Nick would go home the following morning – because they’d fought harder for this than they’d ever believed they’d have to, and the moment when Greg really came home was getting closer with every day that passed.
EPILOGUE FOLLOWS
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-06 03:39 pm (UTC)- and Luke’s mind was suddenly filled with an image of a young man with messy dark hair and green eyes, sprawled on a bed in one of the rooms at the Black Cat and then rising to his knees... just please tell that Luke is picturing Jensen Ackles and I'll be in your debt forever, especially as you've already said you're working on a sequel with Luke (and hopefully JA!)
Looking forward to the epilogue and Luke's tale:)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-06 07:10 pm (UTC)Seriously, I am so thrilled that you've enjoyed this story - it has been one of my favourites to write, and it's so good to know that people appreciate it. Epilogue goes up tomorrow, and Luke's story begins in my journal on Saturday. Thanks for enjoying! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 07:42 am (UTC)Is it saturday yet?!? *drums fingers impatiently*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 08:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 09:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-06 05:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-06 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-06 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-07 06:49 am (UTC)