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[rhardin.livejournal.com]

Nascar

Jeremy and Dr Scott make a plan for Greg, but will he be okay with it. Nick and Greg make plans for the race.

NC-17 Warnings hermaphrodite

Beta'd by the one and only Glostarz!!!



I slowly get off the couch and make my way into the restroom. I hope the new pain pills Dr Scott gave me will help not make me so tired or I will have to tough it out. I finish and walk out into the sun room. It's dark outside and the moon is up, filling the room with just enough light to see. I walk over to the window and open it, taking in a deep breath I rest my hand on my head. I have no idea what time it. I'm sure it's late. Despite sleeping most of the day I feel as if I could fall sleep standing at the window.

"Greg are you hungry?" I jump hearing Jeremy voice.

"Not really." I say as he walks into the room. "What time is it?"

"A bit after nine." He says walking close to me.

I make a face and push him away. "You smell like horse and sweat." I look outside and wrap my arms close to my chest. He takes me in his arms and I let my body fall into him. He runs his hand though my hair and I push my face deep into his chest.

"Want to go to the pond." he asks.

I nod and he slowly pulls away from me and leads me outside. We walk down the trail and out on to the deck. He sits down and I fall into his lap and he pulls me close.

I am so lost right now and the pain I'm in doesn't help me either. He holds me tight in his arms and I can't stop the tears. His hand runs over my face and through my hair. My mind feels like it's out of control and I can't stop it. Thoughts and fears spin out of control. If he didn't have my hand right now I'm be pulling my hair. I want to scream or hit something, anything to make it stop. My darkest fears are over powering me, making me feel as if I have neither hope or a way out. I am shaking now and I can feel him holding me even tighter. I want it all to stop but I can't. He kisses the side of my face and I pull away just a bit.

"We'll get though this." He tells me and touches my face.

"I'm just so tired." I say.

"I know." He doesn't say anything for a while. "Dr Scott wants to you to come in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. Wait, when did he talk to you?" I ask and pull away from him. I pull up my pant legs and dip my feet into the water. "This water is cold. Why can't we get it heated?" I complain.

He smiles and does the same. "Fish like it that way. He called an hour ago. You were asleep." He says

"We where supposed to go to Vegas tomorrow." I say.

He sighs and looks down at the water.

"Can't happen anyways. I don't have anyone to watch the new horses." He says.

"Well that sucks." I pull my feet out of the water and wipe the water off of them.

"I know. I'm sorry." I rest my head on his shoulder and he takes my hand.

"So, tomorrow at 9?" He says.

"What else did you tell you?" I can tell there is something going on that he's not saying.

"It was about your blood work." He says.

"He just took my blood today. That was fast." I say.

"He said he had a hunch and needed to check something right away." he says.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"No, nothing's wrong."

"So what was his hunch?" I ask.

Jeremy doesn't answer for a while again.

"Jeremy what is he wanting to do?" I pull away from him and face him.

"He did some kind of test on your hormone levels."

"And?"

"He thinks that's why your depression is bad. Your levels are really unbalanced." he says.

I bite my lip and look away. I pull at the brace on my arm, tightening it a bit.

"He thinks if you go on the pill it will help level everything out." He says.

I look up at him and swallow hard. "The pill? Like a woman would take?" I force out.

He nods and I stand up and walk to the other side of the dock.

"First a bra and now the pill!" I say, much loader then I meant to. He walks over to me and I fall on to his chest. He holds me tight. "Oh god you guys are trying to turn me into a woman!" I scream and pull away from him.

"It's something we haven't tried yet." He says in a calm voice. He takes a step towards me and I hold out my arm.

"Don't." I say and back up. I'm shaking all over and I can't stop the tears as they run down my face.

"Greg, we don't have to this if you don't want to." He says.

I don't know what to tell him right now. I want to tell him that Dr Scott is crazy and that I'm not a woman. That both of them need to go to hell for thinking something up like this behind my back. But is that true? Is this the move that could change everything and help get me free of the hell I've been trapped in for so long? I fall to the ground and cover my face. I pull my legs close to my chest and rest my head on my knees. I feel Jeremy's arms around me again but this time I don't pull away from him.

"What could it hurt?" I finally say.

He kisses my check and takes my hands in his. He is the only reason I'm doing this. Seeing him over the weekend really opened my eyes and made me see what I was doing to him. He'd do anything for me to keep me safe and happy so it's time I did something back. I could see it in his eyes, this is something he really thinks will work and is worth trying. Like I said, what's the worst it could do? Maybe it will help calm my periods down and make them more regular for a start. Neither one of us said anything else for quite a while.

"Let's go inside." He finally says lifting me up. He leads me to the house and up to our room. I sit down on the bed and he finally lets me go. He sits next to me and I take his hand.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks.

I can only nod. If I try and say anything I know I will start to cry again or change my mind. He runs his hand over my face and lays me down.

"Do you need anything?" he asks.

I shake my head and turn on my side. I sit up a little and try and remove my bra from under my shirt. I pull it off and let it fall on the floor. I rest my head on the pillow and grab his arm and pull it close to my chest.

"What am I going to sleep with?" He says, getting up. He picks up my bra and tosses it in the hamper. He pulls off his shirt and sits on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing. You need to shower before you get in here." I say and cover my nose.
I need to lighten things up so I don't start crying again. He takes the hint and disappears into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on. I roll over on my back, still holding the pillow tight. I jump as my phone goes off. I reach over and pick it up off the night stand.

Just checking to see how you where feeling. Better I hope. Nick

Still tired but other than that I'm feeling pretty pain free. How is your hand? I smile and place one of my arms behind my head.

Hurts more then I'm letting on. But you know, it's a guy thing. You guys going to Vegas early?

No. Jeremy's got too much work to on the barn and I don't think I'd be much fun either. Most likely go out there on Friday. What about you?

Nope. I had some stuff come up at home. Head there on Friday as well. You guys can fly out with me if you want. Save you some money.

"Nick says we can fly out in his jet with him on Friday if we want." I yell. "Why don't we have a jet?" I ask.

"Greg, I can't hear you!" Jeremy yells and the shower goes off.

Sounds good we need to leave at 5am.

"What did you say?" Jeremy walks into the room and gets out fresh clothes.

"Why don't we have a jet?" I ask

Looks like you'll have to take the bus. My plane leaves at 10am.

He looks at me oddly. "What are you talking about?"

"Nick says we could fly to Vegas with him on Friday." I say.

"Sound good, won't have to buy tickets." He says and goes back into the restroom.

Great see you tomorrow.

See you then. Night

"Why is Nick coming over tomorrow?" I ask.

"Turns out he's good with a hammer. He's much more of a help them Jim really. Don't tell Jim I said that." He says.

I nod and watch him lay down.

"I'm fine so don't lay there and watch me sleep all night." I say and I move on to his chest. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my check.

"I won't." He says as I run my hand over his forehead and behind his ear. He's pretty powerless when I do this and it doesn't take him long to fall asleep. I lower my hand and take his and move even closer to him. I let my eyes close.