nickngreg | (no subject)

Title: Control
Chapter Title: Chapter one
Characters: Nick, Greg
Genres: AU
Rating: R
Warnings:
Summary: Greg was no control over his life since getting hurt. Can Nick help him find it again.

Beta by cameragirl88

Greg took in a deep breath and pulled his pillow closer to him. The pressure from the pillow caused him even more pain but he couldn't let go. He closed his eyes and held his breath. The pain, at times was to much. When he was in the hospital, they always gave him morphine. Around the clock it seemed, and he
almost never felt any pain. Too much of the drug and now he's laying in some bed at another place once again. He'd lost control and they are making him pay for it.

He let out a slow breath and inhaled again. His back burned and his leg
throbbed, mostly from walking on it most of the day. Last thing he wanted to do was come to a place like this in his wheelchair.

He shifted his weight and regretted it. He needed something to help with
the pain but was afraid to ask. He put his hand over his mouth and fought back tears.

His family had been told he was going to die. No one could live through such a
blast. Burns covered 65% of his body. The lower half of his left leg was gone, just above the knee. His family were told to come in and say their goodbyes to him. That he would never even wake up, not pull though.

But he did; he started to heal and he was getting stronger. That's when he lost
control. Or they took it from him and now he was to pay for it. 6 months later he's still fighting to get it back. His life was no longer in danger. They treated him the best they could. They may have overdid it. They gave him too much morphine. Sometimes every hour, if he asked for it or not.

Soon it became clear to them that he was hooked on the drug and it was decided it was time for him to move on and get help for this new addiction. Find someone else to treat him at a rehabilitation center. That could better, deal with the drug problem. They sent him to a center but they didn't understand his
need to regain control. They claimed they couldn't treat his healing burns. So they moved him to a new place once again. Now he had lost even more control.

It had been almost 24 hours since he'd been given anything for pain and he never
known someone could hurt so much and live. What would they think of him if he did
asked for something. Would they make him feel stupid or worthless like the last
place he was at? His face was pale and covered in sweat. His thin body shook as
he rocked very slowly. Too fast and the pain was unbearable. It hurt to move but
in a odd way, it hurt to not move. It was something he could control in a way.

He opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Just wanted to make sure you were settled in. Do you need anything" Sara asked
and sat next to him making sure he could hear her.

"I'm in pain" he wanted to say. "I need something for it. Make the pain go
away." He bit his bottom lip and shook his head. He looked away from her.

"Well, if you do just push the call button," She pointed to it. She
wasn't sure if he could hear her. Most of his hearing was lost as well. She
picked up his chart and looked over it. She shook her head and again touched his
shoulder. "You sure you don't need anything? Something to eat or drink?"

He looked up at her and forced a smile. "I could use something to drink." She
seemed nice enough, like she really cared. She didn't look at him with that
look he'd gotten from everyone at the last center he was at.

"What would you like?" She asked and pulled the chart close to her.

"Milk." He'd been craving it for a weeks now. It was odd that the last place he was at didn't have any regular milk. They just had the powder kind. Not what he wanted or needed.

"Okay I'll be right back" she said as made her way into the kitchen.

"Sara, I hear we got a morphine addict. Never stops does it. You think they
would learned by now." Nick said and entered into the room.

"No, it's not like that Nick, it's the most heartbreaking case I've ever seen."
she removed a glass and poured the milk into it then tossed the bottle
in the trash. "It breaks my heart."

Nick looked at her oddly. It wasn't like her to take pity on any of the cases they received.

"What makes this guy so special?" he asked and walked over to the table.
He started to sit.

"He is a soldier hurt in friendly fire." she said.

Nick stopped and took a step back to face her.

"They got him hooked on morphine, discharged him and sent him to some god awful
place. Thank goodness things didn't work out, they claimed the couldn't care for
his wounds so they sent him to us. Half of his burns aren't even healed yet.
Infection slowed everything down. The infection is gone now but he's still
healing and he's in so much pain. He's so lost as well. Feels as if he did something wrong."

"Well he's next on my list to check in."

"Follow me," She lead the way to Greg's room, Nick a few steps behind her.
They entered Greg's room. They found him with his head on a pillow, eyes closed.

"He has profound hearing lost," She moved closer to him. "There aren't any burns on his right shoulder so that's how I let him know I'm here if he's not looking. If you are about 3 feet from him he can hear you. Same with his sight but I'm finding it's around 6 feet before he loses that." She slowly placed her hand on his shoulder.

He jumped a bit opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"Here is the milk you wanted." she handed him the glass.

"Thanks" he said and reached for the it with a shaky hand. He took a hold of
it and lifted it to his lips. He gulped down the cool liquid. It was perfect, just want he needed. If only it would stop the pain as well. He sat the empty
glass down on the nightstand and wiped his mouth.

Sara turned away from him. "He can't see you there, so he doesn't know you're in the room" she said.

"Is someone else here?" Greg asked as she turned away from him. He pulled the pillow even closer to him.

Sara turned to face him and give him a reassuring smile. "Yes, Nick is also in here. He's our doctor. He'll be the one treating your burns and help you manage your pain."

Nick took a few steps forward as Greg looked up and scanned the room. He could barely make out Nick's form. He was blurred and out of focus.

"You need to come a bit closer," He let go of the pillow and moved towards the edge of the bed. Sara moved back a bit, to give him more room.

Nick took a few more steps. Greg smiled and held out his hand as he entered his frame of vision.

"I'm Greg Sanders," He said.

"Nick Stokes," He lowered himself down so he was on the same level with him. "If there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable" he said.

"I'm in a lot of pain," Greg said. "I'm sorry, I'm fine, I don't need anything." He slide back on the bed and picked up the pillow, and wrapped his arms around it.

He was taught to be strong man. Always in control. To not let something like
pain take control over him. Losing to pain was a sign of weakness. Weakness was not allowed in his family. His father hated the fact that he had become so dependent on something so weak as a pain medication. He hadn't spoken to him since he left the military and was forced into a drug center. Ever since he had lost control.

"I don't want you in any pain. I'll get you something. Okay?" He was unsure if he could still hear him. He didn't want to speak louder fearing he'd insult him.

Greg looked down and bit his lower lip. "I'm ok."

"Greg, this wasn't your fault. You were over medicated by your doctors, it's all here on the charts. You did nothing wrong. Let me help you with the pain and get you through this. It won't do you any good to suffer." Nick said.

Greg put his hand over his face and slowly placed his knuckle in his mouth and bit down on it. He couldn't let them see him weak. All the years his father had spent training him to become the prefect soldier and look at him now. On the verge of tears in front of some stranger he just meet. No control at all.

"Let me help you," Nick said softly. His voice was soft and caring. Something

Greg hadn't heard in years. He looked up at him. He could see the worried look on his face. The caring look in his eyes. There was no pity here, or disgust.This man really wanted to help him.

"God it hurts," He cried out. Tears ran down his face. He couldn't stand the pain any longer. He just wanted it to stop. No one else seemed to understand.

"Where is the pain the worse?" Nick asked and moved closer to him.

"My leg and back," he said. He dug his fingers deeper into the pillow.

"May I look at the burns? To see how they are healing?"

The young man had on a loose T-shirt. Nick could see the scars covering his left arm. They seemed to be have healed nicely. He noticed unhealed burns on his neck going up behind his left ear.

Greg nodded and moved to the edge of the bed. He dropped the pillow to the floor.

"Do you need any help with your shirt?" Nick asked.

Greg didn't hear him. "Most of the burns are on my left side," he took a hold of his shirt, slowly took it off over his head. He pulled it close, as he tried to hide the scars that covered most of his chest and gasped as the cool air stung the wounds on his back.

Sara covered her mouth and turned away at the sight of the burns.

Nick moved closer and bit his bottom lip. He gazed up and down the burn on his back, side and stomach. "They seem to be healing nicely," Nick said.

"Just very slow," Greg said and pulled the shirt closer. "I got an infection a few months ago and that slowed everything down. It almost killed me. But I'm like the Energizer Bunny. Keep going and going.

"What treatments have they done?" They had to be some of the worst burns he'd seen on someone living.

"Had skin grafts and stuff. They did a lot of different things. I can't remember all of it. I was in a coma for a while. Not sure what they did. They never thought to wake me up and asked me." A smile crossed his face and pulled his shirt even closer.

"Still got a sense of humor," Nick said.

"Laughter is the best medicine," He paused for a moment. "But the pain never stops."

"Like I said, I will help you get that under control. May I see your leg now?"

"What's left of it," He again took in a deep breath.

"Do you want to take the wrapping off or should I help you?" Nick asked

.

"You can," He took hold of the sheets in his hand and tightened his grip as Nick slowly removed the wrap. He closed his eyes to help mask the pain.

"Do you use a prosthetic yet?" He looked closely at the burns. He found a lot of bruising at the end of the leg.

"I try to but sometimes I can't because it hurts to much."

"May need some better padding for it. I'll see what I can do. No burns on the end though?"

Greg shook his head and let out a long breath. He had burns that covered most of his thigh and Nick couldn't help but wonder how high up they went. He had on shorts and the burns disappeared under them. He had burns and scars on his stomach as well.

"How high up do the burns go?" Nick asked standing up. He picked up Greg's chart and stared, looking over it.

"Up past my stomach," He looked away.

Nick lowered the chart and looked at him.

"I ah... I should go," Sara said and stood up. "I'll check on you later" she and made her way out as fast as she could.

"I'm sure you need to look at the burns?" Greg asked.

Nick cleared his throat and nodded.

Greg sighed and slowly stood up. He placed his right hand on the dresser to help steady himself. He slowly slid down his shorts.

Nick's eyes widened at the site of the burns covering most of the young man genitals.

"Hurts like a bitch when I pee."

"So you haven't lost any function?" Nick asked.

"No, I can pee and stuff. Not sure if it will get hard. Haven't tried yet not easy to meet someone when your in a coma or living in a drug rehabilitation center." he told him.

"What about your hmm...backside."

"My ass, mostly healed all on the left side" .

"Okay, that's all I need," He finished his notes and sat the chart down.

Greg pulled his shorts up and sat back down on the bed.

"Ok well I think we should clean your burns and then get you something for the pain," Nick said.

Greg reached down and found the pillow ON the ground. He pulled it close and slide back to the corner of his bed. "You're the expert."

"I'm going to get the supplies I need and I'll be right back," Nick said. "Do you need anything else?"

Greg shook his head and lowered his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. He was sure he wouldn't see him for at least on hour or so. He held his breath again and tried his best to will away the pain.

Nick turned and walked out of the room. He made his way to the med room. He stopped at the door and slowly entered his code on the key pad.

"Who can someone be treated like that. He served us for 8 years over there and they make him feel like he's worthless." Sara said. She sat at a the desk in the small room.

"It makes you sick doesn't it?" Nick said.

"I don't even know how he lived," she said and shook her head.

"I know it's amazing. He should be dead. Don't know how he lived after the burn in the first place and then the infection he got should have killed him too. This guy has a strong will to live."

"So what are you going to do?" she looked up at him. "We have to do this right Nick!"

"I always do," he did not face her.

"We have to do this one better than right. He deserves our best," She said.

"I'm going to treat the burns with sulfamylon, maybe some laidacane cream and put him on methadone," He looked over all the different pills and ointments. He also got some fresh wraps and what he needed to clean the burns and placed everything in a small plastic container. He added a pair of gloves and a bottle of water.

"Good, good. Treat his pain and the addiction. I was hoping you'd do that." Sara said.

"Well I'm glad you agree. And I always give them my best no matter what the case is," he said and walked out of the room. He hurried to Greg's room, not wanting to keep him waiting.

"Is the new kid getting settled in?"

Nick stopped and turned to see Gil. "Yeah, I'm going to do a wound cleaning and start treating him for his addiction."

"Sad case this one is. Not like most of our others," Gil said.

Nick nodded, "He's in a lot of pain, I don't want to keep him waiting."

"No, by all means, go help the young man," Gil said. Nick turned and headed down to Greg's room. He walked in. Greg sat on the edge of the bed without his shirt, his hands over his face. Nick stopped a few feet in front of him.

"Greg" he said. He didn't look up. Nick stepped ever closer and repeated his name.

Greg looked up and smiled. "That was fast." he said as Nick sat his supplies down on the bed.

"I didn't want to keep you waiting too long," Nick said.

"At the last place I was, I'd have to wait an hour or more sometimes."

"Well that won't happen here." He sat down next to him. "Lets start with your back first."

Greg picked up the pillow and held it tightly.

"I'll be as careful as I can," He put on a pair of gloves and started.

Greg jumped at his touch and forced his eyes shut.

"I'm sorry," he said as Greg pulled the pillow even closer to him. He clinched his teeth together as Nick ran the rag over his back. He could tell he was doing some kind of breathing method to help deal with the pain. "The cream I'm using has laidacane in it. It will help keep the pain under control." Greg didn't move, but he continued with his breathing.

"Okay that part is done," Nick said he moved in front of him and went to work on his leg. Greg pulled the pillow closer and again his breathing changed. Once he was done, Nick carefully wrapped the deep burns on his legs. They, along with the burns on his groin, seemed to be the worst.

Nick sighed and looked up at him. "Do you need help with the rest?" he asked.

Greg body seemed to tighten up. "I can't do it myself, it hurts too bad," He forced out. "I need to lay down," He said.

Nick leaned back and waited for him to remove his shorts and lay down on the bed. Nick worked as fast as he could but took care so he wouldn't cause him to much pain. Nick watched him to see how much pain he was causing him. The young solder placed one hand over his face, the other in his mouth and bite down hard on his knuckle. There was bruising on it, so this wasn't the first time he'd done this.

"All done," He finally told him. He watched as the young man moved his hands away from his face and sat up.

"The cream will help and so will this," Nick said and handed him a medication cup.

"What is that?" He asked as he picked up his shorts and slid them on. He did his best not to let Nick see the pain that it caused as he slide them up.

"It's methadone. Good for the pain and it will help with the addiction to morphine," He handed him a bottle of water.

He looked at the pills and swallowed them. He opened the bottle of water and sucked most of it down. "Could I get some more milk" he asked.

"Beat you to it," Sara said, as she walked into Greg's line of vision. She held a small bottle of milk.

He smiled and took the bottle.

"Dinner is in a few hours."

He nodded and quickly drank the milk down.

"He wasn't too hard on you, was he?" She sat next to him.

"No, no, he did a good job."

"May I take a look at your prosthetic?" Nick asked.

Greg nodded and reached under the bed. He handed it to Nick.

"This is a good one. One of the best out there but.."

A worried look crossed Greg's face and he looked up at Nick.

"No padding, tighten this, few adjustments." Nick said more to himself. He shook his head and he looked it over a few more times. "Give me a half an hour," he asked.

"Knock yourself out," He slowly and laid back down. The pain he'd felt for the past 24 hours was starting to dull. He turned on his right side and placed his head down on the pillow.

"Well, get some rest. If you need anything just hit the call bottom," she stood up and picked up the empty bottle of milk.

"What do you do?" Greg asked he as he watched Nick, who was still mumbling to himself about things he needed to do to fix the prosthetic.

"I'm the nurse here. I'm sorry I should have told you that," she smiled and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"I'll get this right back to you," Nick huffed and picked up what he needed and disappeared out of Greg's sight.

"He seems annoyed," Greg said.

"He doesn't like it when things aren't done right. Get some rest and I'll see
you at dinner."

He nodded as and watched her outline fade away. He moved a few times but nothing helped, sleep was close and once again his body was asking him to do something he couldn't, rest on his back.. He'd always been a back sleeper and it was hard forcing himself to sleep on his side. As the pain medicine kicked in he could not keep his eyes open. Again he was losing control but he didn't care, the pain that had been there was so long was almost gone. He shut his eyes and gave in to the pills and dozed off.