nickngreg | (no subject)

Title: A Plan for everyone
Rating: PG-13 maximum
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Minor for 'play with fire', 'Gravedanger', 'Stalker'
Summary: His mother always said to him 'God has a plan for everyone's lifes' but so far Greg isn't really sure what the plan for is life could be *seriously this summary sucks, but it is a bit hard to summarize this, and no this is not about religion or God, I just used an expression*
A/N: Massiv thanks to

nyctophobia76, my beta, who did a marvelous job. And who always makes me laugh with her remarks in the edited version.

Comments and concrit are &hearts

My mother always used to say to me ‘God has a plan for everyone’. I never really understood what made her think that way. And I was pretty convinced that his plan for me was ‘still in progress’.

Until recently I also thought that the purpose of my life was to suffer from a broken heart, or several ones for that matter of fact.

It was always the same. The ones I wanted never wanted me. That started back in High school and continued onwards through college and my first job. There had always been someone I was in love with, or at least had a crush on. And occasionally I found myself wondering whether that was God’s plan for me. To just show me that life was a painful experience right from the start.

I am not saying I never was involved with someone, no, I was. But looking back at it I guess it was more or less a half-hearted try to figure out what people always gushed about ‘Love’. And no, I am not one of these pessimistic people that try to see something bad in everything. But if you never had been with someone you really loved, I guess you could never understand what all these people were so fascinated with.

I came to Vegas for several reasons, falling in love was definitely not one of them, but than again it wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to to begin with. I came here because I got a job offer from the second best lab in the country. And because I wanted to do something with my degree in chemistry to help people. Call it a superman complex, but I was never someone who turns down helping someone else. And that might have been the first thing we had in common. Because Nick Stokes, co-worker and all around sex god, was like me in that matter. Actually worse. Sometimes I thought he wouldn’t find peace before he felt that he had to save the whole world. There were days or nights, when I thought he hadn’t even left work. He used to come in before everyone else and left last. He was the one who never gave up hope. And he was the one, who ended up paying the highest price.

Stalked, kidnapped, held at gunpoint. He had been through all of it. Some of it even several times. Back then I was just thanking everyone that I worked in a lab and would most likely never experience any of it. Apart from being thrown through a window, due to co-workers not paying enough attention on what they are doing. But that was the worst.

I always wondered how Nick would deal with things like that. If when he came home someone was waiting for him to take the weight of the world of his shoulders for at least a bit. The way he used to talk to Warrick about dates and the girls me met, made me think there wasn’t. But than again Nick had ever been someone to bring his private life with him to work. Except his private life was part of his work, like said stalker or when he was under suspicion for killing a call girl. As if straight as an arrow Nick Stokes could ever do such thing. Or needed the services of a girl like that.

And yes I definitely have too much time on my hands, and I like to use that time to watch people around me. And the fact that the walls from the lab were mostly made from glass helped me a lot with doing so.

I saw it all. Saw how the girls seemed to be on a daily hunt. With the same prey. Sara was fixed on Grissom, who seems kinda asexual to me, and Catherine trying to get some sort of reaction from Warrick, who in my opinion, was way more interested in the AV tech.

And maybe the plan for my life was learning from other’s mistakes. But maybe than I shouldn’t have fallen in love with Nick. And I somehow saw it coming. I mean how can you not fall in love with him. And I always knew there was something strange about him, something I couldn’t put my finger on. He was Texan and straight as hell, but strangely you never saw him with any girl. When we went out for breakfast, drinks or just a night out and some girl managed to get enough courage together to actually talk to him, he always ended up brushing them off.

And he was such a charmer. But I figured he never really noticed it himself.

And maybe he was dense. Well, not dense, but oblivious. About his environment and the people. The girls at the lab threw themselves basically at his feet but he didn’t seem to notice. All the flirting they initiated and nothing ever came of it. It was as if he didn’t even notice. And yeah, you can call it schadenfreude, but why should they get any further when I was stuck as well. Okay, given that I was a guy and my chances with him might have been practically none existing, but still….

And if God’s plan wasn’t me learning from the mistakes of others maybe it was ‘setting an example’. I don’t really know for what I am supposed to set an example, but it sure as hell sounds great. Or maybe I am really setting an example. Like ‘Look what being smart and skipping a few classes get you. Being stuck in a DNA lab in Vegas hopelessly in love.’

It wasn’t hopeless, it was… Okay maybe it was hopeless, but at least I had something that made me smile every day. Because Nick had this certain way about him. When you were down, really down, he still managed to get a smile from you with just appearing in the door.

I probably spent more time watching – or ogling – Nick than actually processing anything, but than again I always had a pretty good excuse. The machines did all my work. And when someone complained again, asking why their sample hadn’t been processed or why didn’t they have their results yet, I always ended up saying ‘Not my fault if the machine is so slow today’, and kept on watching Nick as soon as they had left.

Or maybe God’s plan for my life was to prove myself. To people who think they know me already. After being stuck in the lab for four years, I decided I needed a change in my life, and maybe also from my daily routines, and started my training to be a CSI. Saying that it was a piece of cake might have been a lie, but than again I am a guy, so you definitely won’t hear me whining now either.

During my life I had proven myself more than once to others. I have always been smart, skipped a few classes and ended up going to college before I was actually allowed to drive a car. I proved people at college that a 16-year old could kick their asses much more than all of them would ever have suspected. And bruised all their egos doing so.

I proved people at SFPD that a 23-year old science nerd was able to get used to the cruelty they experienced on a daily basis and more recently I also proved people at Las Vegas that lab rats are not always tied to their desks.

One plan God definitely didn’t have for me was being a rock star. I know I said it to Catherine a while back that I could have been a rock star, but truth is, I suck at music. I can’t even play an instrument, and my singing comes close to sounds you get when stepping on a cat’s tail. I don’t really know why I told Catherine that to be honest. Maybe it was because Nick was standing next to her and I just wanted to see his reaction to it. Or maybe I am just insane. Same goes with Liquid Latex, I actually just googled it right before I gave my explanation. And maybe the fact that Nick was yet again present might have influenced the way I presented. In a positive way that is.

Or maybe his plan for me was to just be smarter than most people. It started already back in High School when I ended up asking my teachers questions no normal teen would ever come up with. Or my professors back at college.

Another plan God definitely didn’t have had for me was to be a heartbreaker. Nowadays I might look really good and cool, but a few years ago, I was the guy you get when looking up in a dictionary ‘nerd’. Thick glasses, braces, clothes that couldn’t be further away from my style nowadays. Long hair. All that what makes someone look definitely not cool. And yes, I was picked on at school, but after a while I wasn’t really bothered by it. I knew I most likely would never see any of these kids anyway once we had left high school, and if it gave them any sort of thrill to pick on me… whatever.

And although I look very different than from how I used to look, I am still not much of a heartbreaker. Although people tend to think that. For whatever reason.

I have a date every now and then, but mostly it starts with a first date and also ends with it. I never really met the one person where I thought ‘okay lets give it a try’. No idea why. Could have been the restlessness of the city rubbing of on me. Or maybe something entirely different.

And it was definitely not God’s plan for me to settle down, have a wife and my one point seven kids, with the white picket fence, the house and a suburban life.

As I already said, I am gay, so no wife. Definitely not. And when it comes to kids,I don’t know whether I would qualify as a dad. I love children, don’t get me wrong, I really love them as long as at the end of the day there is someone who takes them back home again and leaves me alone. I was never someone who fit clichés or statistics anyway. I am probably of these five point eight percent that have been left out of it.

As mentioned before I had a little crush on Nick.. Most likely like half the lab, judging by all the looks he received all day long. But there was never much hope, it was more something to keep me busy with when it was a slow night. I mean I am not stupid, he was all I would have liked to call ‘my own’, all muscular, and handsome, tanned and intelligent. Oh, and Texan. So that might explain why I never kept my hopes too high.

We were great colleagues, but nothing more. You could hardly call us friends. We had a few good laughs together, shared a couple of jokes, but that was all, and it happened during work. After shift was over, we went separate ways. Warrick was Nick’s best friend, and they hung out all the time.

But, one day, out of the blue, things changed. I never really found out why, but Nick started shifting all his attention from Warrick to me. We hung out more often; we spent more and more time with each other outside work, and we talked about all sort of stuff.

And no, God’s big plan for me was not to be agony aunt. Nick and I talked a lot, but we never really talked about stuff that would require such … ‘service’. Of course, it wasn’t all just light hearted stuff and things you can laugh about, but wasn’t like stuff that made the world end right away. I found out much later about Nick’s nightmare with that babysitter, one evening when his parents had last minute business dinners attend.

As the months went by and we became better and better friends, things started changing in a way I couldn’t put my finger on.

Catherine once said something like ‘we behave like an old, married couple’ which seemed to freak Nick out a bit. Or maybe it was just pure coincidence that after she made that comment, he avoided me for three days. Of course he argued with ‘being busy on a case’, although there had been just one case and that was worked by Catherine and Grissom.

Maybe it was his Texan genes, or his upbringing, or just a guy’s reaction, but that reaction definitely gave me an idea about Nick’s position when it came to the question whether or not I would ever stand a chance wit him. At least I knew know where I stood with him and that was better than nothing.

But man was I wrong.

It was a few weeks, or maybe months, after that comment from Catherine when Nick started acting really weird. ‘Making strange remarks, avoiding me invading my personal space to avoid me for a few days again’ weird.

And then one day… out of the blue it happened.

“Hey, Sanders, here you are,” he asked, looking he has been looking for me for quite a while.

“Where else should I have been? I mean it was a slow night, so I either would have been in the break room, or doing my paperwork. Not much to look for…”

“Yeah, well, main thing is I found you,” he kind of snapped at me. No idea why. He didn’t seem angry, or annoyed therefore, but than again he had been acting weird lately. So I was prepared for anything.

“Listen, I was wondering if you have any plans for tomorrow night?” he asked. And why did I get the feeling he was nervous about that?

“Um… let me think. Well… I can’t seem to remember of anything I was going to do so I guess I am free. Why?”

“There is this new place called ‘DaVinci’, and I was thinking of checking it out. All the people I know who have been there said it was amazing. So I thought I should maybe go there as well… Wanna join?”

“Sure, sounds good. Who else is in?”

“What do you mean?” Nick asked, looking slightly confused.

“Well, who else is coming? Catherine? Warrick? Sara?”

“I actually thought it would be just the two of us, but I mean… if you want them to tag along…”

“No, no I just thought, that maybe it was just that we all would go. Doesn’t mean that we need them to join us. Not that I don’t want them, it is just if you…” and why on earth was I babbling? Why was I nervous? He just asked me whether we can, go check out a new restaurant. Not that it would be a date or something like that. I wish it would though.

“I get what you are saying, don’t worry…” Nick grinned at me. And how did we go from him snapping at me to suddenly him grinning at me? Have I missed something during this conversation?

“Am I missing something in this conversation?” I said to myself in what I thought was more like a whisper than anything else, but it seemed like Nick must have heard me because he was grinning even more now.

“Maybe you are. You are a smart kid, you’ll figure it out,” Nick said and left me alone again with all these files I still had to write a report for.

******

The dinner itself went more or less okay. Apparently Nick had a table reserved which made me wonder whether he had been planning this for some time. But the thought alone made me laugh. I mean, why should he?

But the more time went by the more, I got the feeling like something was going on and after a while I just asked straight forward, ignoring the consequences for once.

“Nick, is this a date?” Okay, really straight forward. But hey, something was going on here and I needed to find out what.

“This is ‘two friend having dinner’…” I heard him say and was already cursing myself for things that I might want to be there, but would never happen.

“But if you want it to be a date… that’s fine with me as well,” he added, and as I was actually already lost in the thought of our friendship and what I just did, it might have taken my mind one or two minutes to catch up with the events, but eventually it did.

“Hu?” was my first and only response. And yes, what a smart and great way of responding. God, sometimes I hate myself.

Nick just chuckled which was kind of cute to be honest.

“I mean.. could you just repeat what you just said?” I asked, hoping I had actually heard him correctly.

“I said that if you want this to be a date, we can have it as a date as well… Personally that’s what my original intent was, but I thought just throwing it at you might not be the smartest move,“ Nick grinned at me again. And it was starting to drive me slightly insane, because it gave me the feeling like he knew something I didn’t. Which might be actually correct. Cause I was soooo missing something here.

And yes, I am sometimes slow. Like now. Because my brain again needed a few minutes to process this information.

“Why did you never said anything?” I asked, and yes, that was a smart question.

“Well, I said something now, didn’t I?”

“Yes but I mean… why not sooner?”

“I guess dancing around each other was kind of fun for a while. But eventually I decided to try and get to the next step. “

“When did we dance around each other? I surely would have noticed that? And why do I get the feeling you are pretty relaxed about that? Aren’t you supposed to be worried about my…reaction?”

“Sanders, where have you been the last six years? Because that was textbook ‘dancing around each other.’ And well, I am not relaxed about it, but am not too worried about it either. Cause you are a pretty relaxed guy, so given you would have a problem with my sort of ‘confession’ I guess you are not really the guy that goes on distance now. But given the fact that you responded to all the flirting and invading of personal space and all that I guessed there would be a pretty good chance that we are both want to go that way…”

After that confession the first thing I did was ordering a double whisky. Because I clearly needed something strong. Not that I had a problem with Nick, it was just that I needed something strong for the shock about what he just said. I would never have guessed or seen this one coming.

After the first whisky followed a second one and that was followed with me kissing Nick, not because I was drunk, but because I thought I might be caught in some dream and should therefore at least do the possibly best with it before I would wake up. And okay, maybe I was slightly drunk, but not enough to not know what I was doing. And I also still remember that Nick that night blew my mind away with kissing me back. Cause let me tell you this guy can kiss… hell, nothing I have ever experienced before.

That evening was a good six months ago. And well, obviously it wasn’t a dream. This has so far been way better than any of my dreams. But who am I to brag.

And maybe my mom wasn’t really wrong about that whole ‘plan for everyone’ thing. Maybe my plan or ordeal was to find ‘perfection’. And looking at Nick all day in all states of nakedness and being dressed I can guarantee you, I found perfection.

Jealous?