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Title: Still
Author: kieksterbanjo
Rating: Chapter 3: PG-13
Summary: There's no end to fatherhood...

A/N: So in honour of the season premiere of CSI tonight I decided to post the next chapter now instead of waiting until Tuesday. This does not mean however that I’ll necessarily break completely out of my once a week thing (I feel there are benefits to it. One of which being that I can finish writing it before I catch up to myself and have you waiting for four months instead of 1 week for the last chapters). I’ll think about it. lol. So anyway enjoy the chapter and I’ll see you on Tuesday for Chapter 4!

Chapter 3

They had just moved into a new house, in a new neighbourhood with new schools and new routines and everything seemed to be going so well. Aidan was a brand new middle-schooler with the grades of a genius and the popularity to rival any high school jock. Charlie was a thriving second grader with energy to spare while Angelica had over night become a kindergartener with a strong desire to flip, dance and twirl. Isabelle and Austin were meanwhile becoming their own little people: walking, talking and reeking double toddler terror wherever they could.

Everything was perfect, until one day…it wasn’t anymore.

Nick and Greg would never forget the day they sat in the doctor’s office, with Isabelle bouncy happily on Nick’s knee and Austin curled timidly on Greg’s lap, and found out that their little boy of only two years was going into heart failure. The toddler had lost his appetite over the weeks and was becoming more and more tired and listless with each passing day until neither Greg nor Nick could deny that something more then a cold was the matter. Neither had expected however that it would come to what it did; both agreeing that Austin had gone through enough during his first days of life.

Deciding surgery to repair the heart defect causing the problem was too risky for Austin, the months following the day at the doctor’s office were filled with medication regimes to be perfected and life style changes that effected the entire family. It put strain on the hinges of Nick and Greg ‘s relationship but just like all the other stressors in their life they would get past it.

That is, however, until the medication was no longer helping the situation and Austin continued to get worse and worse until just shy of his third birthday the youngest member of the Sanders-Stokes clan was admitted to the hospital for a heart transplant. The doctors told Nick and Greg that it was a miracle a new heart could be found in such short a time but that little fact did not help them during the eight hours it took to do the surgery.

Austin recovered like a champ after the surgery, and the medication (that he would inevitably have to take for the rest of his life) didn’t even faze the little boy as he jump back into the life he shared with his brothers and sisters. Nick and Greg, however, did not rebound as quickly. The fights between them got worse and more frequent and the tension in the house was palpable.

It had literally gotten to the point where the two couldn’t be in the same room with each other when Greg was sent to San Francisco for a conference and his weeklong stay…turned into a month and a half. It hadn’t been that hard convincing the kids that their Daddy was just away on work, but it tore Nick up inside every time he had to tell one of the kids that Greg wouldn’t be home that night. What tore him up even more was that he didn’t even know if Greg was going to be home at all. What kept Nick getting up every day was the thought that Greg wouldn’t just up and abandon his family and he would be back, once he’d had time to think things through.

The day Greg had called to discuss Charlie, Austin and Isabelle’s move to San Francisco had dropped a led weight in Nick’s stomach and spurred him into action. Greg was serious about making the spilt permanent and there was no way in hell Nick was going to let that happen. He didn’t know how, but he knew he HAD to get Greg back: for the sake of their family. So he’d packed all five of the kids up and made the trek to San Francisco where Greg was staying with his childhood best friend.

Greg was shocked to say the least when he opened to the door and was tackled by five sets of arms. He’d looked at Nick confused and Nick had shrugged, wondering if Greg was going to send him off the porch. Instead, Greg ushered the kids inside and then held the door open for Nick who stepped through cautiously. It wasn’t much, but it had been a first step in reconciliation.

-- -- --

Austin had been too young to analyze the two-month period for any more then what it was. His Daddy hadn’t been around. But as he grew and learned more about the time from his brothers, he’d gotten a more cohesive picture of what the time had been.

“No Austin. Dad and I are not going to split up again.” Greg said firmly. It would have been the answer even if it hadn’t been the truth, but Greg knew as he spoke the words that they were not a lie. He and Nick would never split up again, having learned from their mistakes and become a stronger team because of it.

“But you were fighting.” Austin said softly.

Greg sighed, “Yeah we were. But grown ups do that sometimes. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less. You fight with your brothers and sisters but you love them just the same, right?” Greg asked and Austin nodded silently, “So please don’t worry about that, okay?”

“Okay.” Austin whispered.

“Do you promise me?” Greg asked even though he knew it wouldn’t be the last time one of the kids worried about the issue.

“I promise Daddy.” Austin’s voice was strong and Greg smiled as he ran a hand over Austin’s cheek.

“So what did you come here for in the first place? How can I assist you?” Greg asked with a small bow of the head that made Austin laugh.

“Izzy, Aidan, Alyssa, Colin, Angelica and I made a play and we wanted you and Dad to come watch it.” Austin explained.

“Well who would pass up that invitation?” Greg asked and got to his feet.

“What about Dad?” Austin asked pointing to the door Nick had disappeared through.

Greg sighed and looked at the door, “Dad’s just taking a breather. I’m sure he’d love to see it later though.”

Austin seemed to think the answer through and decided it sufficed for he smiled and tugged on Greg’s arm to pull him from the room and down the stairs to the awaiting group of people waiting to see the play.

-- -- --

Greg found Nick an hour and a half later, in the stables, petting the black horse in the end stall with a contemplative look on his face, “Hey you.” Greg whispered and Nick jumped slightly, retracting his hand from the animal and spinning towards the voice.

He relaxed when he saw Greg, “Scared me.” He said softly turning back to the horse when it nudged his hand with its snout and continued to pet it slowly.

Greg made his way over to the stall and leaned against a wood post and crossed his arms, “Your Mom and Dad really aren’t going to get another horse? Melee seems lonely.” He said softly speaking of the horse Nick was petting.

Nick ignored the question, “I wasn’t even going to bring it up. It was more a pipe dream then anything else.”

“No Nick.” Greg said and Nick looked at him curiously, “You should have brought it up. You HAD to bring it up. I just…reacted stupidly. Like always.” He chuckled softly and Nick cracked a smile, “I panicked because being on different shifts may put another strain on our marriage and we all know what happened the last time stressors built up.” Nick diverted his gaze to Melee and a cloud seemed to move over his eyes.

“Weren’t we going to forget that?” Nick asked.

“We could, but if we did then we may very well fall back into those traps that got us into trouble in the first place. And I’m not willing to let that happen.”

Nick smiled softly, “Yeah?”

Greg nodded, “Oh yeah. And even if my loving you to the end of the world and back wasn’t the reason…spending 2 months with nothing but Mr. Right Hand was be enough to make SURE we stick together.” He cracked and Nick laughed.

“You’re so romantic.” He said with a shake of his head.

“’Tis why you married me, no?” Greg asked innocently and Nick chuckled softly with a shrug of his shoulders and a nod of his head, “But seriously, it wasn’t fair of me to think you were only thinking of yourself about this whole thing. A supervisor job would get us college funds for the kids much faster.”

“But we would never see each other.” Nick said softly.

Greg nodded, “We’ve been on different shifts before and it wouldn’t last forever. We still have many years of blissful retirement to look forward too. We’ll just have to make the time we see each other just that much more amazing.”

Nick smiled and Greg smiled back and they were both silent for a moment. Nick turned back to Melee the horse and stroked the animal’s nose; “My parents are getting to old to get another horse. Melee’s calm and trained. He’ll be the last one they own.”

“And that’s basically what we’ll say the next time Angelica wants a new pet.” Greg cracked and Nick laughed linking his fingers with Greg’s.

“Come on. Lets go back to the house.” Nick urged pulling on Greg’s hand he held in his and Greg stumbled slightly before falling into pace next to his husband to walk across the grass.

“Have you talked to Charlie…at all since we got here?” Greg asked curiously.

Nick shook his head with a sigh, “He’s been in the kid’s bedroom since we got here. ‘Working on homework’.”

“We’ve got to find out what his problem is before he becomes a hermit.” Greg concluded as they reached the back porch of the ranch and paused at the back door.

Nick sighed, “Well I told Colin I’d help him with his batting stance…” He trailed off.

Greg smiled, “Well I’m going to go grab some water and then I’ll come watch…I mean help.” He corrected with a smirk and Nick laughed before leaving Greg to circle to the front of the house.

Greg watched him leave before sliding open the back door and making his way through the living room towards the kitchen. He entered to find Bill Stokes sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of wine on the table in front of him looking contemplatively at a photo in his hands. He looked up startled when Greg’s shoes squeaked against the linoleum; in the silence the sound echoed.

“Sorry Bill.” Greg apologized almost immediately, “I was just going to get some water. I’ll come back later.” He said starting to back up.

“Don’t be silly Greg.” Bill waved off the apology, “Grab some water. Have a seat.” He said gesturing to a chair at the kitchen table.

Greg was half a second away from declining the offer; no matter how comfortable with each other the two had gotten, Greg avoided alone time with Nick’s dad as much as possible. But for some reason, which was even a mystery to Greg, he didn’t decline and made his way over to the sink to grab a cup and fill it with tap water before sitting kitty corner to his father in law, “Why have you never called me Dad, Greg?” Bill asked out of the blue.

Greg, who had been taking a sip of water, almost choked on it and coughed sharply to clear his throat. He hadn’t meant to but the question had startled him for some reason. Once he settled he tried to come up with an answer but his mind was blank. There was no explanation, “I don’t…really know.” He answered.

Bill nodded, “For whatever it’s worth I wouldn’t mind if you did. All of the other kids’ partners do.”

Greg nodded with a strained smile, not knowing what to say. It had never crossed his mind to call Bill anything other then Bill. Silence fell between them. Greg took a large gulp of his water and thought maybe he should start another conversation but he wasn’t sure what to say, “What picture are you looking at?” He asked for lack of anything better.

Bill, who had gone back to examining said picture, looked up questioningly as if he hadn’t expected Greg to speak. Greg gestured wordless towards the picture, “Oh!” Bill said with realization, relinquishing the photo to Greg. Greg looked down at the crumbled picture he’d been given, obviously having seen better days. It was a photo of a much younger Stokes family and Greg smiled at the brunette little boy in Jillian Stokes’ arms. Nick couldn’t have been more then a year in the photo.

“It’s my favourite photo of all of us.” Bill explained as Greg continued to observe the photo, “We took the kids on a picnic right before school started and Jillian had been bugging me that we hadn’t really gotten a photo of the entire family since Pancho was born. So I’d stopped the next person walking by and asked them to take a photo of us.” He stopped and chuckled to himself softly, “Jillian was all in a tizzy, saying that she didn’t mean we needed a picture right then and that she and the kids weren’t picture ready. She fussed over all of them for five minutes before she let the picture be taken. They’ve never looked better.” He said softly and without even looking up Greg could actually hear the love Bill had for his family, “She hated it though,” Bill continued, “Told me to destroy it. We got a professional photo done a week later but I never got rid of it. I don’t even think she knows I still have it.”

“It’s a great picture.” Greg commented handing the photo back to its owner.

Bill nodded and the two were silent for a long moment. Greg was about to get up and leave Bill to his silence when Bill spoke up, “I saw Charlie earlier, for a second.”

“Well be lucky you got that much.” Greg sighed.

“Is he having problems?” Bill asked concerned.

Greg sighed again, “Yeah but it beats me what the problem is.”

“Have you tried asking him?” Bill asked.

Greg was about to say ‘yes’ but stopped when he realized that wasn’t the answer at all, “No.” He said astonished as if he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of that in the beginning. He’d been so focused on trying to decipher the problem on his own.

“Sometimes I find that helps.” Bill smiled.

Greg blushed, “I guess I still see Charlie as the five year old who couldn’t articulate a problem, even if that problem was choosing which stuffed animal to sleep with at night.”

“It happens.” Bill agreed.

Greg smiled, “Well I should go. I’m helping Nick with Colin’s batting stance; even though Colin’s stance probably already beats mine.” He chuckled getting up to put his glass in the sink.

“Well good luck with that.” Bill chuckled.

Greg stopped at the doorway to the kitchen and turned, “Thanks for the advice…Dad.” He said and grimaced as the word felt strange in his mouth, like it was fighting against being there.

Bill chuckled, “It’ll get easier to say I’m sure. But you’re welcome, son.”

Greg smiled at the endearment before waving and making his way to the front door.

TBC

A/N: Feedback = a happy me =). lol