(no subject)

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

 

 

Title:  “Deep In the Heart of Texas” 

Characters: Nick and Greg

Rating:  PG-13 (for language and adult content)

Summary:  Things have been bad for a while now, and it’s starting to take a toll

Part Three 

 

“Fuck you!”

 

“Nick, God, I…” Words failed to convey the depth of Greg’s regret.  He had, with his ill-chosen words, made a bad situation so much worse.    “I’m sorry I said that.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m sorry.”  Greg sank down onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands. 

 

Nick didn’t immediately reply.  He carefully sat next to Greg, not touching.  Greg’s words had stung, to be sure.  But Nick was man enough to know that he himself had caused a lot of pain over the last few months.  He didn’t know how to break free from the spiral they found themselves in.  How to go back to just Nick and just Greg…. no extra baggage causing pain.  There had to be a way.  He figured the best way to start would be to start talking.

 

“I meant it.”  Well, that wasn’t very clear.  It was however ambiguous enough to get Greg’s attention.  He lifted his eyes to Nick’s, confused.

 

“Meant what?”  Nick settled a little closer to Greg.  Reaching over he pulled Greg’s hand into his lap.

 

“I love you.  Now.  Always.”  The thumb tracing over the back of Greg’s hand was proving to be very distracting.  It had been a long time.

 

“When the lab exploded and you were hurt, I fell apart.  I didn’t know what to do.  The under-sheriff came in with new rules and protocols for everyone to follow and it gave me a way to control my fear.  Just enforce the protocols, and you don’t get hurt again.  Take no chances, and you’re always safe.  I could cope.  Then you wanted to go into the field.  I wanted, want to support that.  And I do, I really do.  I’m proud of you.”  Nick paused for a fortifying breath.

 

“Then you got hurt again.  The problem came when I realized there were no rules to enforce.  Outsiders don’t follow protocols.  I had no way to regain control of the situation, no way to keep you safe. So my fears just kept spiraling out of control. Every time Grissom sends you out I start to panic.”  The basis of Nick’s anger over the last months was as much of a revelation to him as it was to Greg.

 

“So since you couldn’t control the world, you tried to control me?”

 

Nick opened his mouth to deny that’s what he’d been doing.  Again his innate honesty made him acknowledge the truth of it.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s what I’ve done.”  He felt the hot flush of shame at the thought.  “I really thought after the attack you would start carrying a gun.  When you didn’t, I guess I tried to make sure nothing bad could happen.  All my efforts did was drive you away.”  Pulling on the hand he still held, he urged Greg closer.  He wanted to hold Greg, and was trying to figure a way to do so without hopelessly mussing his fancy clothes.  He settled on just leaning even closer, and claiming that beautiful mouth in a kiss.

 

When they broke apart for air Greg had to ask.  “Will you go to therapy with me?  We can’t go on like nothing happened.  It’s all still there, Nick.  Waiting to come back and hurt us again.  We need to find a way to fix it for good.”  Nick knew he was right.  His natural resistance to “therapy” would have to be put aside.  Greg was too important, and he’d done enough damage.

 

“Yes.”  He didn’t give Greg a chance to react before leaning in for another kiss.  Deep, loving, full of all the things he should have been saying all along.

 

“I love you, G.”  Nick was surprised when Greg went still.  He pulled back to look into Greg’s eyes.  “G?”

 

“Say it again.”  Nick was mystified, but willing.

 

“I love you.”

 

“Not that part…the other part!”  Greg was smiling now…a good thing.

 

Nick got it.  “I love you, G!”  Nick was smiling now as well.  “I could go back to calling you ‘Greggo’.”  Greg shuddered theatrically.

 

“Not if you want any more of these.”  With that, Greg brought their mouths together in a passionate kiss, searing in intensity.

 

Greg moaned into the kiss, leaning in to get closer, closer, until they were as one.  The kiss heated and hands began to roam over cherished territory, long ignored.  So wrapped in the glory of rediscovery, neither man heard the study door open.

 

“Well, I suggested smiling, but this will certainly do!”

 

 

 end