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Jan. 7th, 2007 01:48 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
inflowers.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
nickngregChapter: Four
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None, really.
Genre: Angst. Romance. Post-Ep.
Summary: Post ep for Feeling the Heat. Greg's angst about the case and the events afterwards.
That was six months ago, almost to the day. Of course they had their worries, their fears and their reservations about raising a daughter. Particularly raising a daughter that as Nick often told Greg, nobody was ever allowed to know about. No one ever told them that parenting was supposed to be easy, and both men accepted that. It was a trial from day one, however they both agreed that fatherhood was the most spectacular thing that had ever happened to them, and that Amelia was the greatest gift they’d ever received. But when Nick couldn’t understand why Catherine finding that baby upset Greg so much, Greg couldn’t help but feel as though fatherhood hadn’t changed Nick as much as it had him.
“Greg, come out.” Nick was sitting outside the master bedroom of their house waiting for Greg to unlock the door. He had been sitting there for at least half an hour before he eventually decided that if Greg was going to be that immature, then two could play his game.
“Fine. Come and find me when you grow the hell up.”
Suddenly the door flung open.
”Are you kidding me?” Greg looked shocked that Nick even had the nerve to say that to him.
“Yeah Greg, I’m kidding. Because this is obviously hysterical to me.”
“Sarcasm is not a good look on you, Stokes.” Greg spat bitterly, threatening to close the door again before Nick threw his arm out and stopped him.
“What do you want from me, Greg?”
“You know what I want.” It was the one thing Greg had always wanted, for them to be a real family. For them to be able to invite people over for dinner. For them to be able to tell people about their beautiful baby.
“I’ve already told you that I can’t do that.”
“I can’t do this anymore, Nick.” The desperation in Greg’s voice struck a chord deep within Nick as he realised that he couldn’t either.
“I know. You can’t do this anymore so you want me to fight for you. I don’t want to fight with you, but I can’t fight for you anymore.”
“Okay.”
“So.”
Tension filled the air as both men stared at each other. It was a mix of animosity and pure love that radiated between them. Nick and Greg could always be counted on for bringing passion into everything that they did, whether it was fighting or making love. As they continued to stare at each other, Greg’s stare softened and he smiled slightly.
“I do love you, you know.” He whispered softly, just soft enough for Nick to hear him and register a response his face in the form of an even softer smile.
“I love you too, G.”
“Apparently not enough.” Greg couldn’t help himself, he knew he was fighting a losing battle but the words were flying out of him and he couldn’t stop them.
”For god’s sake Greg, I’m not the only one to blame here.”
“I know. I can’t help myself.”
“Look, is there … is there anything that we can do to make this better?” Nick paused, possibly for dramatic effect but mostly because he needed exactly the right thing to say, “Is there anything that I can do?”
”You know there is.”
“I would do anything for you Greg,” He sighed and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair “But I won’t do that.”
“Very Meatloaf of you.”
“What happens next?” Nick asked, quite obviously ignoring Greg’s sarcasm. He watched as Greg’s eyes dropped to the ground, and it was clear that he hadn’t thought about the future anymore than Nick had. It all seemed distant and unclear to Greg, like a dream or a movie that he was watching and that he could simply turn off at any moment. Except that this was real life, and it was really happening.
“I guess … Well, I’ll find a place. And then… ‘Melia and I will move out.”
“What?” Nick seemed startled, even taking a step back and throwing his arms up in a defensive stance.
“Well, that’s what you want isn’t it? You can’t fight for me anymore so I’m making the decision for you.” It all seemed quite clear to Greg, seemed as though this was the solution to their problems. By removing himself from Nick’s life, he had managed to convince himself that both men would be happier.
”But … “ Nick stuttered, needing a moment to regain himself, “Amelia …”
“What about her? She’ll be fine. I am a good father, you know.” He seemed mildly insulted that Nick would even insinuate that Greg couldn’t take care of his own daughter. That somehow he hadn’t thought of her in the midst of their break-up. Of course he had, she was constantly at the forefront of his mind. There was just never any doubt that Amelia would be okay.
“You aren’t taking her with you.”
That caught Greg off guard.
“Excuse me?”
”You heard exactly what I said.” Nick’s face suddenly turned a deeper shade of red as he felt the anger rising up in him. How could Greg have expected that he would just waltz out of Nick’s life with his daughter? “You can’t take her with you.”
“Amelia is my daughter.” Greg suddenly felt the need to point out the blindingly obvious to Nick, who obviously had always known that Amelia was biologically Greg’s.
“So what, all that ‘No, we have a daughter’ crap you gave me, that was all just for shits and fucking giggles?”
”She is our daughter Nick, but she’s living with me. If you can’t accept that then that’s your problem, definitely not mine.”
“I won’t let you take her away from me.”
Stepping in front of the door to the nursery, Nick blocked Greg’s entrance to the pastel coloured room.
”Get out of my way, or I will take her away from you for good.”
”You wouldn’t have the guts.” Nick spat at Greg, still standing in the doorway. All Greg wanted to do was grab his daughter and get as far away from Nick as he possibly could, but he knew that Nick was stronger than him.
“Why is that, Nick?” He paused in mock wonder. “Is it because I’m just a little faggot? Well watch what this little faggot can do”
“Greg, what the heck –“
Nick was cut off by Greg twisting his arm around behind his back and pushing him face down on the ground, kneeling in between his shoulders. It was reminiscent of an episode of Cops, but Greg knew that he had proved to Nick that he was serious, and so he let him go. As Nick went to stand up, Greg walked down the hallway to the linen closet and picked out a duffle bag. Walking back into the nursery, he watched as Nick struggled to his feet and began talking.
“I’m sorry okay? Don’t leave like this Greg, let’s just take this over.”
“Ha! You think I want to talk to you? Just leave me alone.” Greg was far too angry to even contemplate talking to Nick in any civil manner, much less come to any kind of compromise over their child. Or as Greg saw Amelia in that very instant, his child.
Throwing everything of Amelia’s he could fit into the bag, he carried her pram and the bag out the front door and threw them in the back of his Range Rover, along with anything else of hers he encountered along the way. He quickly grabbed some of his own clothes and threw them into another bag and into the boot, all while Nick watched helplessly. He gently walked into his daughter’s room and walked over to her crib to check whether or not she was sleeping. Staring down at her playfully kicking her feet and gurgling up at him, he briefly wondered how Natasha could ever give something so perfect away. And yet he was so angry that the thought of tearing her away from Nick didn’t even bother him. In fact it almost pleased him. He reached down slowly and picked her up, gently cradling her head in his hand before letting her rest it on his shoulder. The smell of baby shampoo filled his nose and he suddenly felt calmed by his baby daughter’s presence. It was almost as though nothing else in the entire world mattered, as though there were no wars, nor hunger, poverty, or boyfriends who don’t love you as much as you want them to.
As he was walking out the door, Nick called out to him one last time. It was a last ditch attempt to salvage a relationship they had both given up on a long time ago.
“Greg, wait. Turn around. Look at me.”
But he didn’t turn around.
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a/n: i think i wrote this story because as much as i love fluffy nick/greg!parent fics, alot of them aren't that realistic. and coincidentally, alot of this fic is based on a true story. the story of how i came to be! ha. no but seriously, obviously my dads aren't csi's or whatevs, but alot of the arguments and quotes are things that my parents have actually said to each other. just ask me if you want to know which ones i'm talking about. my dads had a happy ending. maybe nick and greg will too.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 05:06 pm (UTC)That's so interesting that you're sort of basing it off of your life. I'm glad you and your dads have a happy ending. :)
x.H.
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Date: 2007-01-06 05:37 pm (UTC)in the beginning I wasn't sure what it might turn into but I like where you took it:)
I just can't understand Nick... He doesn't want anybody to know about Amelia but on the other hand he takes her as 'his' daughter... You should sort it out Nicky! lol
and kudos to you and your dads:)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 06:57 pm (UTC)So, needless to say I love it. And I'm pretty interested as to which parts were inspired by real events ;).
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Date: 2007-01-06 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 12:52 am (UTC)Can't tell you what happened after that, I might use it in the story! Haha.
Glad you like it. They told me this story when I was about 15, when they thought I deserved to know the whole truth about my past.
<3
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 12:55 am (UTC)After I heard the story of my parents, I knew that I wanted to immortalize it in some kind of way, maybe to show my children one day. And this sort of just fit.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 12:55 am (UTC)And I know. I should sort out Nicky/aka my dad. Haha. Don't worry, I'm sure Nicky will sort himself out.
Thanks for the kudos!
xox
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 12:56 am (UTC)Glad you're liking it.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 01:16 am (UTC)I though it'd follow Feeling the heat more and that it'd be some Greg angst:)
well it kinda is angst after all:) but I love those fics with children and I really hope they'll end up back together:)
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Date: 2007-01-07 05:50 am (UTC)So now I'm going to go log in and comment. :)
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Date: 2007-01-07 07:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 07:58 am (UTC)Either way, give it a shot! I showed this to Dad #1 the other day (yes, i numbered them. it drives them insane, but makes life easier for me! Haha) he thinks it's cute and says that he definitely relates to Greg, but wishes that I hadn't made Nick/Dad such an asshole. Oh well! Hehe.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 08:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-07 08:27 am (UTC)Hah, numbering is good! We thought about using names, but it didn't really work for us. Besides that, when I was younger I didn't really know which one was my biological father anyway. I've only known for a few years. When I was little, it was Dad and Daddy. But that didn't last long either, so now both are just Dad! confusing, but it works.
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Date: 2007-01-07 08:38 am (UTC)Well, I always knew who my biological mom was, since my mom didn't meet my other mom until I was seven. *shrugs* But hey, whatever works, right?
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Date: 2007-01-07 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-08 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-12 09:03 pm (UTC)