nickngreg | Assassin Chapter 4

Title: Assassin
Rating: Chapter 4: PG
Author: kieksterbanjo
Warnings: Violence and shooting and all that stuff
Summary: He's one of their best trainees...but is he ready for the real thing and everything that comes with it?---- Totally AU and there is a good chance the rating will fluctuate.
Disclaimer: Would I like to own them? YES. But do I? Alas No. I would also like to make money from this and marry Benji Schwimmer from So You Think You Can Dance but one must live in the real world. *sigh*

Chapter 4

Greg sat at a desk within SF, Marochavic’s file open in front of him. He left for Mexico the next day and by now he should have been well versed in the ways of Yuri Marochavic. During training he had always memorized the file folder they had given him within the first day; been able to recite the marks favorite food after fifteen minutes with the file. Then, though, that fact didn’t really matter. Had he not memorized the contents of the folder it would be available to him throughout the entire process just in case. Now however, when this folder would no longer be in his possession in 24 hours, he had trouble even remembering where Marochavic was from without looking it up.

As he sat hunched over the folder, elbows on the desk and his head resting against his hands, his mind was on one thing; and it wasn’t the folder in front of him. It was on Nick. He had barely thought of anything else for three days. It was times like these that he thanked God that the reading of the folder was done in private. Each agent was left alone to memorize the folder in his or her own way, with no input from anyone else. Had that not been the case someone would have seen that Greg’s mind was not on what he was doing; which was very VERY bad considering he was just about to be sent after a real human being.

But try telling his brain that. He had always prided himself on being able to compartmentalize; to push things that weren’t immediately important to the back of his mind so he could concentrate on the task at hand. He’d done it after his father had died, he’d perfected it when he played paintball and he prided himself on doing so during his training. Compartmentalizing flew out the window though when it came to Nick. Maybe it was because Nick had embedded himself into every aspect of Greg’s life and so when a shift occurred in the relationship every part of Greg’s life went to shit.

This is exactly why Greg didn’t get close to people. He swore after his father had died that he wouldn’t let another person fuck with his life as much as he had and so every relationship after that he had been guarded. He had friends but no real close ones and he had boyfriends but none longer then a couple of weeks. But Nick had somehow broken the mold their first meeting. Greg had opened up to him like he had no one else since his father and he had only gotten more attached over the six months they had known each other.

Now he remembered why he kept himself detached. He thought Nick would be different; thought that maybe if he let himself to close, he wouldn’t get hurt. But here he was 24 hours away from starting the biggest moment of his life and all he could think about was a man who didn’t believe in him at all.

Or maybe he did. Greg had thought a lot about the days leading up to their fight and started to think that maybe Nick DID believe in Greg, but was to scared of losing him to let him do something that could hurt him. But that could have just been Greg’s wishful thinking. Since their first meeting at Frank’s--which Greg had thought, even then, had been a date-- Greg had tried to interpret Nick’s actions any other way then the ‘I’m strictly your mentor and friend’ way. He was fairly certain the man he looked up to at the agency was straight and looked at Greg like nothing other then what he was; a trainee needing someone to show him the ropes and be his friend.

Greg really wished there was more to it then that, or maybe he just wished he knew the answer either way so he could concentrate on the file in front him. Because within the week it wouldn’t matter what Nick did or didn’t say, or did or didn’t feel, if Greg couldn’t do his job. Greg shook his head, dismissed the odd look the move garnered from the girl at the desk across from the one he was sitting at, and MADE himself focus. He would NOT let this mission go to shit just because of his problems. If he did he would let his bosses down, himself down…and Nick down.

--- --- --- ---

Nick hadn’t stopped kicking himself for three days. Why had he let his insecurities about Greg come out the way they had? That was the last thing Greg needed—to be screamed at and told he wasn’t good enough. Nick had always thought himself better then that. Thought he could control his emotions so as to not rustle any feathers that didn’t need to be rustled. And what did he do? Rustled the feathers of the most important person in his life on the eve biggest event in the younger man’s life.

He sat at his desk at SF, surrounded by people going about their daily business, with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on the desk starring down at the Marochavic file; but not really picking up the words he was reading. Sure he knew about Marochaivc; one couldn’t work within SF and not know the major players in the world of deviant and terrorist acts and Marochavic was definitely one of them. But Nick needed to be an expert by the time he left for Mexico; he would be no help to Greg if he weren’t. Though he doubted after their fight that Greg would even accept his help; hell he had even said he wouldn’t.

Nick let out a ragged sigh and thought for the millionth time about how he was going to fix this. He couldn’t lose Greg. He had decided that immediately. He needed to fix the relationship if for no other reason then to keep Greg alive throughout the mission. The other reasons he needed to fix things weren’t professional ones. He had thought during Greg’s first six months of training that what he felt towards the younger man was nothing more then friendship—that he was his trainer and nothing else. But the prospect of no longer being part of Greg’s life made Nick feel something he shouldn’t of if Greg was just a friend. His friend’s came and went, especially with the tedious nature of his job, so he was used to it. The feeling he felt now was so much different. It was a physical ache that wouldn’t go away.

But no matter what he felt, what mattered more was how Greg felt—and not just strictly towards Nick. Nick know one thing for sure. He needed to make sure Greg was okay during the mission ahead, regardless of what he may be feeling for the younger man. Thinking back to his own proficiency Nick had needed his trainer to stay sane and he would do that for Greg—if Greg would let him…

Nick sighed once more and refocused his eyes on the words below him. He had a strange feeling he was going to be up all night trying to memorize the details of the file in front of him so if he didn’t start now he would never finish in time and that would be helping no one…well maybe Marochavic but that was slightly counterproductive.

--- --- --- ---

“You look like shit.” Greg stated monotone as he and Nick stood side by side on the tarmac outside the private jet that would take them to Mexico. Each stood with one duffel bag on the ground next to their feet, their arms crossed across their chest and scowl like frowns fixed to their features. They were waiting for Grissom and Greg’s words were the first ones spoken since they had arrived 20 minutes earlier.

“I appreciate the sentiment.” Nick said sarcastically.

“It wasn’t meant to be a sentiment.”

“And that wasn’t meant to be taken literally. It’s called sarcasm.” Nick sighed. He did look like shit though. He hadn’t slept at all the night before and hadn’t had time to go home and change clothes. So there he was with round black bags under his eyes and crumpled clothes he had been wearing yesterday. He did know everything about Marochavic though and he figured he should at least be grateful of that.

“Look,” Nick sighed. He knew if he didn’t try to fix this now he wouldn’t get a chance to, “I didn’t mean what I said the other day. I just want you to be as ready as possible. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“Yes you did.” Greg sighed and Nick looked at him oddly, “You did mean what you said. You don’t think I’m ready. At least have the balls to stand behind what you say. But like I told you before, I’m doing this whether you think I am or not.” Greg looked at Nick sidelong, his arms still crossed defensively across his chest, “Are you sure that’s the only reason you reacted like that?”

Nick furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, are you sure that the only reason you reacted like that is because you don’t think I’m ready? That you thought screaming at me would suddenly make me see what I already knew? Or is there another reason? A reason that was masked behind the yelling and the screaming.”

Nick swallowed hard and was thankful that Greg had stopped looking at him and was now looking at the plane because Nick’s eyes were as wide as saucers. This hadn’t been what he was expecting to hear when he came this morning. He swallowed once more and tried to make his voice even, “Uh, look Greg…”

“Forget it Nick.” Greg cut him off, “Just wishful thinking I guess.” He whispered toeing the ground with his sneaker. He suddenly didn’t want to hear that there was nothing behind the words. No deeper feeling. He thought he could handle it, but just hearing his name from the man to his right in that tone of voice made him want to curl up in a hole and never come out.

Though he couldn’t have been more wrong—that it wasn’t just wishful thinking—Nick didn’t get a chance to tell him so because Grissom decided to make his appearance. Nick closed his mouth, for he was just on the cusp of speaking his thoughts, and turned away from Greg to face their boss.

“Good morning gentlemen.” Grissom greeted conversationally completely oblivious to what he had interrupted. Both men nodded but made no move to answer, “I’m confident you’ve both read over the file and have got a really good base for the mission.” Grissom asked but it really wasn’t a question. Both the men in front of him were silently thankful they HAD been able to memorize it—but neither going to divulge they had just done it the day before. They nodded, “Good. You will only have 4 days in Mexico. Three days to scope out the situation and make your plan and then the last day to execute. You won’t get any longer because we aren’t sure how long Marochavic will remain where he is. Nick if you want to go aboard and get set; I just want to have a word with Greg.”

Nick nodded looking sidelong at Greg, wishing he could say what he needed to say now, before reluctantly picking up his duffel bag and making his way up the stairs and into the plane, leaving Greg and Grissom behind.

“Greg,” Grissom began quietly, “I just wanted to say how proud I am of you. Regardless of how this turns out you’ve already surpassed any of the expectations we hold for a trainee. Just remember we wouldn’t be sending you on this mission if we didn’t think you could do it. In my experience the fatal flaw of the first mission is the doubt that you can’t complete it. Don’t let that be you. You CAN do this and you WILL do this. And you have the support of the whole agency, everyone remembers their first time so don’t think for a second you’re alone. And don’t underestimate the help Nick can give either. Not just because he’s your trainer but because I see the way he is around you, definitely different then with the others he’s trained, so I wouldn’t put it past him to do everything he possible can to make sure you can do this. Make sure you take advantage of that.” Grissom paused and Greg felt like he should say something but he was stunned to silence at Grissom’s words, “Good luck Greg and I’m sure you’ll come out on top.” Grissom finished sticking his hand out.

Greg stood frozen for a second before he realized he should probably respond, “Thank you for the support sir.” He said quietly taking the extended hand and shaking it. He gave one final nod to his boss before picking up his duffel bag, throwing it over his shoulder and making his way to the plane. He was shaking, but the thought that he was about to pass the point of no return wasn’t the cause. Taking a deep breath he passed the threshold of the plane…

--- --- --- ---

Nick sat in his window seat and sighed. He had watched the scene between Greg and his boss and though he couldn’t hear the words he had watched Greg’s body language and it made him clench his hands into fists.

He and Greg really needed to talk, and he was just thankful they had a two hour flight ahead of them; with no where to run they would be forced to clear the waters between them…or make everything a whole lot worse. As Greg made his way into the cabin, glanced once at Nick before taking a seat as far away from him as possible, Nick knew he had his work cut out for him.

TBC

A/N: Feedback of any kind would be fantastic:) Thanks!