Fic: Drowning

[gregisamazing.livejournal.com]

Title: Drowning
Rating: PG
Notes: Self beta'd, Angst
Disclaimer: Unless I've got the pair wrapped under my tree- they aren't mine!
Summary: Sometimes all it took was a freak current and he was under. (Angst)

He figured that this was how it must have felt to be drowning; that every time he felt that he has just got back to the surface and was back in control, there was something that dragged him back down. He didn’t like that sensation; he knew that there was nothing he could do about it because he was being overwhelmed by the sheer volume and power of it. He could do nothing- he could just watch time passing so slowly because, after all, it was only a matter of time until he was beaten.

It was all about keeping afloat, he shouldn’t have gone under in the first place- unfortunate was he to be caught off guard and he ended up going under. So now it was a case of getting back up, regaining control…

Well that was easier said than done.

Greg had told himself over and over that he was fine, that he was actually keeping his head above the water. Convincing himself was the only thing he could think of doing- because all the other options resulted in bodily harm from someone. He knew, underneath all the strong façade, that he wasn’t fine.

No one else knew what was going on; they didn’t see that he was disappearing right in-front of their faces. He sometimes rationalized that no one would notice- no one would realize that he wasn’t really there anymore. He’d just be an empty shell; everyone would say it was the job. But they really had no idea did they?

Every day, he could feel himself getting more weighed down. As if someone had swapped the blood with lead, just to deliberately make him feel more tired and more sluggish; and it made him feel that he was just being dragged slowly into the depths. Recently everything had felt more strained, like his normal lifestyle couldn’t be sustained because he was inevitably loosing.

He had to drag himself up, his normal spring in his step had faltered a long time ago. There was no longer a genuine smile plastered on his face, they had to be forced- and even then there was not the wattage behind the smile to light the room. And his eyes… Well they were dead.

At one point, he had regained control because he was a strong man. Greg had managed to forget his face and managed to forget all the emotions attached- but that hadn’t lasted long. A wave had crashed right over his head- pushing him back under with excruciating pain. All he had to do was smile at his latest conquest direction, a brighter smile than any he would ever give Greg, and he knew that the feelings were there… He just didn’t want to admit to them.

He could feel his lungs screaming for oxygen, there was a burning in his chest that just couldn’t be extinguished. He could do nothing but look up from his watery depths towards the surface that was disappearing from his grasp. There could be no one to save him; Greg just had to drown in emotions… Drowning because he couldn’t survive without Nick to help him through.

Comments

[isegrim-chan.livejournal.com]

Amazing. Shows Greg's emotions on a complete new level. The comparison with drowning is awesome. You really poited perfectly out what Greg feels without exaggerating but enough to describe Gregs desperation about his overwhelming emotions.
Well done. I'm completely in awe about your writing skills.

[gregisamazing.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much... I'm really glad you enjoyed it- I hoped that I didn't over exaggerate, I just knew what it felt like. Shucks I'm glad you like my writing! *blushes*

[tanisafan.livejournal.com]

I, too, am in awe. I'm also extatic that you're posting more stories!

No one else knew what was going on; they didn’t see that he was disappearing right in front of their faces.
Aww, that's quite possibly my favourite line. It's really remarkably easy to put yourself in Greg's position. Your writing is amazing and I'm definitely looking forward to more ;).

[gregisamazing.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!! Glad you like my stories, and I made someone extatic... Now that is amazing.

[mickeylover303.livejournal.com]

I loved the symbolism you used with drowning. I can feel Greg struggling with his emotions and the loneliness caused by it.

Wonderful angst piece.

[gregisamazing.livejournal.com]

Hey thanks! Glad you liked it and thank you for reviewing!

[it-glitters.livejournal.com]

(Sorry I didn't read this sooner)

I love your metaphor! And then right at the end. You just got me.

[gregisamazing.livejournal.com]

It's really okay that you didn't respond earlier- I'm just glad that you did it at all :) Thanks for the review *hands tissue* Oh, I am probably going to be calling upon your BETA services (if you don't mind) within the next week or so... If I can figure out how you do it!

[it-glitters.livejournal.com]

Just send it to me in an attachment. My email's on my profile.