nickngreg | Is it worth it (Reply)

Title: Words of truth, chapter 23
Pairing: Nick and Greg
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Greg makes an attempt to deal with the situation
Genre: Angst, romance
Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me
Warning/Spoiler: Set after Grave Danger

Nick dragged him home around 9 pm in order for him to change, shave and shower before work. His parents were there as was Jillian and his mother had a meal ready for them all when they came home. Louise attached herself to Nick the moment they came home and was very reluctant to let go when they sat down to eat. After dinner Nick took him to the bathroom and once there started to undress him.

“Did you get any sleep today G?” Nick asked as he pulled his pants down.
“Mmh, a few hours this morning.” He mumbled and stepped into the shower.
“You know I thought he looked much more like a baby today.” Nick stepped in after him, he hadn’t even noticed Nick undressing.
“Dunno…” Nick kissed him and he accepted the tongue parting his lips. Kissing was easier than talking for him at the moment anyway.

Nick kissed and groped and he just allowed it to happen, but couldn’t find the energy to do more than just rest his hands on Nick’s hips. The water and Nick was all over him he knew that, but all he could really think about was Morten, his tiny little boy in the hospital, in the special ICU for premature born children. He felt strange being out of the warm ward and away from the almost fully developed fetus, somehow he couldn’t yet really relate to him as a baby.

“Greg?” Nick’s tentative question made him look up.
“You okay baby?” Nick could sound so worried that it was nauseating.
“Fine, just shaken a bit.” He didn’t want to worry Nick anymore than necessary; mostly because Nick had had a major panic attack no more than 5 days ago. The whole situation was likely more than Nick’s still fragile state could handle and he would do all he could to protect Nick.
“You still wanna come to work?” He nodded and let Nick wash his hair.

The case he worked caused overtime and he headed straight for the hospital when he finally was allowed to leave the lab. Nick had gone home on time to take over from the babysitter and he wondered if maybe he should leave Nick and let him have Louise. Nick had been the center of so much trouble lately and he knew that Morten’s premature birth only added to the list. He decided to call the lawyers to find out if it would be possible for Nick to adopt Louise.

Because he was late he couldn’t find a parking space anywhere near the entrance and he ended up parking about a 10 minutes walk from the entrance. He dialed the lawyers on his cell and was on hold when somebody called after him.
“Mr. Sanders!” To his surprise it was the guard dog nurse and he searched his brain for her name.
“Hey.” He ended the phone call.
“What are you doing back here again so soon?” She didn’t give him the ‘oh it’s so sad’ look that everybody else had been using for past few days.
“Louise’s little brother came 8 weeks early.” He could see how she searched her memory for the possible consequences.

“Well unless some trauma arose during birth, it shouldn’t be a problem.” She smiled reassuringly and he could feel a smile ghost across his own lips.
“Have you gotten to hold him yet?” He shook his head a few times and she sighed.
“They’re so damn careful in NICU. It’s important that he bonds with you.”
“But just changing the diaper stresses him.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Hmm you should just sit quietly with him and have him flush against your chest.” He remembered having seen some of the women on the ward sitting with their somewhat bigger and older babies like that.

“How’s her mother?” The guard dog nurse had gotten the full story back when Nick was the one in the hospital.
“Bad, her ex caught up with her and beat her and that’s….” The words came stumbling out and the guard dog nurse just nodded.
“What a bastard.” She sighed and that ended their conversation. They walked in silence to the entrance and went each their way.

A plump woman was checking the baby’s vitals when he entered the room.
“Greg Sanders?” The voice was deep and carried a heavy accent of German.
“Yes.” She scared him and his answer was low and tentative.
“I’m Doctor Tanja Händler.” She held out her hand to greet him, he took the offered hand with a shiver. He knew it was a perfectly normal name and that it was probably spelled in the German way, but it was just too close to home. The doctor started talking and he was unable to listen to her words, all he heard was her deep voice and the name Händler.

When Nick arrived with Louise he was half sitting half laying in a comfortable chair with Morten on his stomach. Nick disinfected his and Louise’s hands and for the first time Louise was allowed to touch the baby, although carefully guided by Nick.
“Hey doll.” Nick whispered and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Hey kjære.” He whispered back extremely careful not to move a muscle.

His parents arrived and so did Grissom, shortly after Morten had been put back in the crib. Louise and Nick had fallen asleep in the visitor’s lounge, so he tried to meet the expected amount of small talk needed. It obviously didn’t work because Grissom and his father hauled him out of the hospital to some green area. He protested heavily, but his mother shooed him out of the room and Nick was nowhere to be found.

He walked between the two and each of them had a firm grip on his upper arms; so all he could do was walk there between the two older men. For some reason they stopped and Grissom stepped in front of him, his boss used his free hand to lift his chin to make him meet the blue eyes.
“What’s going on Greg?” Grissom sported his fairly neutral look.
“Ain’t it obvious?” He wondered exactly what kind of mental disorder it was that made Grissom ask him questions like that.

“Not really!” The neutral look began to fade.
“What is it you don’t get? That Mette got beaten and gave birth 8 weeks early?” He retorted. His father just stood beside and sighed in that annoying way, that told him that his father knew he was lying.
“I get that! But I don’t get you!” Grissom was speaking louder and a reddish tint had come over his face.

“Why not? I’ll need my leave for when I take him home.” He raised his own voice in defense. In one swift motion Grissom had him by his lapels and lifted him off the ground.
“That’s not what I’m talking ABOUT!” Grissom shouted the last part and shook him hard. It scared the living daylights out of him, Grissom just never lost his temper.
“I’m talking about Nick and you!” His boss was still shaking him, but had put him down on the ground again.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna take care of the baby by myself and let him adopt Louise. He don’t need this.” He was desperately trying to get out of Grissom’s grip and silently wondered why his father was so damn passive.
“WHAT?!” Both men screamed in unison.
“He can’t handle stuff like this yet, so it’ll be better if I leave Louise with him.” He was tired of people being so thickheaded and he just wanted to get back to the ward and see how the baby was doing.

“No he won’t.” His father said quietly next to him. Grissom tightened his hold and shook him with an extreme force.
“It’s not a one-way street.” Grissom hissed out through clenched teeth.
“Gregory. It doesn’t work like that. Nick loves you and wants to be there for you. Just like he had you after… his burial.” His father really meant business when he said his name like that.
“It’s too much for him!” He whined and wished that they would understand.
“No! Nicky would walk to hell and back for you! Don’t you get that?!” Grissom was angrier than he had ever seen before. The blatant show of emotion from his boss was tearing into the shards left of his heart.

“I don’t want him to. He’s suffered enough as it is.” His voice was beginning to fail him.
“Your mother thought the same when you were born.” His father stepped in front of him and demanded his attention.
“You had colic and had been crying for three days straight, so she wanted to spare me the pain and left.” His father paused and allowed for the words to sink in.
“I panicked when I got home and couldn’t find her. Mormor called and told me that she had sought refuge there.” He stared in disbelief at his father.
“Papa Olaf took you for a 10 hour walk when I got there. I don’t remember what Mormor did, but your mother and I talked, cried and eventually slept.”

His head was spinning and he couldn’t believe that his mother had done just that.
“Nicky loves you above anything.” Grissom’s voice had a rare soothing quality in it.
The realization of what had happened in the last couple of days finally hit home and if Grissom hadn’t been holding him, he would have fallen. Once again he walked between the two older men and leaned heavily on them for support. He knew he was babbling all the way back to the ward, but he had no idea what left his mouth in the steady stream.

Nick met them in the hallway when they came back to the ward.
“Nick. We need to talk.” Was the first coherent sentence he managed and Nick took him to the empty visitor’s lounge.
“So talk.” Nick said after closing the door.
“I’m sorry.” His voice quivered and he swallowed hard.
“About what? Please let me in Greg.” Nick pleaded and he fought hard to find the words and the courage to let Nick know his troubles.

“When I came in this morning I intended to call the lawyers and let you adopt Louise, so you wouldn’t have to worry about me and Morten.” Nick slapped him so hard that he staggered for balance.
“You were gonna leave me, just like that?” Nick shrieked and stepped back. He had expected Nick to punch him, so the slap took him by surprise.
“I… it was… it seemed logical.” The stinging pain in his cheek released tears he had not cried since Brass had taken him to the hospital.
“Logical?!” Nick uttered in pure disbelief and caught his wracking body in a bear hug.

“Greg I love you. No matter what. My pain has been yours for so long, it’s time I take some of yours.” Nick surrendered to the tears as well and for a while they just stood there holding on to each other for dear life.
“I know he’s gonna be fine, but I… it was just too much to… handle.” He sniffled and made an attempt at wiping tears from both their faces.
“You were so strong when I was in here and to see you… shut down… broke my heart.” Nick spoke more calm and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

Together they walked back to Morten’s room, side by side and with their fingers entwined. He felt somewhat guilty about laying his heartache on Nick, but somewhere deep down he knew that if he couldn’t do that, they had no future together.
“They’ve caught him.” Brass stood just inside the room when they entered.
“Phew.” Nick articulated their mutual relief.
“But eh… let’s just say he resisted arrest.” They both knew that meant that Mette’s ex had taken severe punishment from their colleagues and neither felt any guilt.

2 weeks later the swelling in Mette’s brain had more or less dissolved and she regained consciousness. They took Morten to see her, but she showed no particular interest in him.
Morten stayed 4 weeks at the hospital before he was strong enough to go home. He spent the days at the hospital, the evenings at home and the nights at work. When they finally got to take Morten home he was more than thrilled and exhausted beyond belief.

“Cath’s gonna come over tomorrow and baby sit. So we can get some couple time as she put it.” Nick said when he came home from work. He was about to decline, but some very rational voice in his brain reminded him that they had not gone beyond kissing since Morten’s birth and that perhaps it was time to cover some basic needs.
“Okay.” He said peevishly. Nick threw him one of those smiles that could light up a small village at night.

Nick took him to one of the nice hotels, where neither had worked a case recently. The room was high end and the bed bigger than most he had ever spent time in. There was also a spa with plenty of room for them both. Their sex life could only have been described as plain vanilla up until then, because they had never done it outside their bedroom and Nick’s old worn out bed.

Their mouths fused immediately upon entry to the hotel room and it didn’t take them long to get naked and in the spa. He straddled Nick and felt hard Texan hotness against his hardening cock. Nick rocked their hips together and the dark eyes glinted with lust.
“Take me.” He moaned suddenly longing to feel Nick inside him. One thing he had learned living with Nick, was that when Nick planned something he made sure to have every detail in check, so it didn’t surprise him that Nick had a bottle of lube in his hand as soon as he had made his plea.

The warm water had already relaxed his body and Nick made easy work of preparing him. The gentle fingers brushing over his prostate left him gasping for air and yearning for the real deal. Nick soon gave in to his begging and positioned his cock and he eased down onto Nick. The last month hadn’t yielded many happy moments so now where he had one it was overwhelming beyond words. He moved up and down on Nick’s cock in the slowest pace he could muster, just to enjoy it for as long as possible.

He soon lost himself to the kinkiness of not being in a bed and started to move faster. Nick began stroking his cock and despite his decision to draw it out he came spilling into Nick’s hand and the water. Panting and gasping Nick followed him into the blessed land of orgasms only moments later. It took them a while to gather their wits and leave the spa for a quick shower. Naked and damp they threw themselves on the bed only to start over again.

A/N: this fairly short, but I have an exam coming up, which I need to study for. There isn’t much left to tell and I’ll wrap it up in a few more chapters.