[identity profile] swordpoker.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] nickngreg
I have no idea where this came from. My writers block stopped shortly. For like a brief moment of time. I finally watched Bite Me last night. I thought my brain had broken. I didn't think I could write slash anymore. XD


Inner Monologue

by Tali

fandom: CSI
ship: Nick/Greg
warnings: none
spoilers: 1 - 6, slight references to Stalker and Boom.

notes: Angst. And mentions of Greg/Somebody else. Unrequited stuff. Too little, too late. Heh. ^^; No beta, quick, rough little thing. I was just amazed I wrote it.

summary: Nick isn't jealous. At least, he tells himself that.



He's not jealous. No, he's not.

He figures if he tells himself that a few thousand times more, he won't be.

The mantra has always worked for him. It started when he was nine. (It didn't hurt..i didn't feel it..it didn't hurt) When he lost a football game, when his father stared at him with that you disappointed me again gaze, when his heart was shattered into a million pieces..it worked.

So he'll tell himself that he's not jealous. He's not. Where did you get that idea?

He'll use the familiar mantra's, some he's used for years.

(I'm not jealous. I didn't get my hopes up anyways. It doesn't matter what -they- think. I'm okay. I didn't feel it..)

On it goes.

He hasn't used the broken heart one in ages. He'd been holding onto a hope, and now it was officially gone. It had slipped through his fingers when he wasn't looking. He was so busy telling himself he didn't care what others thought and that everything they said rolled off his back, easy and carefree, that he hadn't noticed his chance disappearing.

When the jealous doesn't work anymore, he brings out the newest one.

(It never would have worked with Greg anyways.)
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