nickngreg | Is it worth it (Reply)

Title: Is it worth it
Chapter: 11, The routine
Pairing: Nick and Greg
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me.
Warning/Spoiler: Set after Grave Danger.
Summary: Greg and Nick are finding a way to live after the hospital.

The following days passed with them training Nick to be alone again. It was a long and painstaking process. He would take Louise and go for a walk and return at a time unknown to Nick. In the beginning only for a few minutes to avoid panic attacks and as the days wore on for longer. Sometimes Nick would call in panic as soon as he walked out of sight making him rush back. Other times he would complete the walk and come back to a Nick occupied by something other than worry.

Those days also held several trips to the doctor and the psychiatrist for Nick and there were also plenty of arrangements to be made for Louise. He signed her up for an all night kindergarten, but the waiting list was a mile long and he had no hope of getting her in until after Christmas. So he spread the word in his family that if anybody would take a year at UNLV he had an offer for them. He also found a pediatrician for her who in return gave her a clean bill of health.

His parents had left after Nick’s third day out of the hospital and he missed having his father around. He missed having some one to talk to other than Nick. It didn’t matter who had come to visit, because he just couldn’t talk to any his colleagues like he could with his father. So in lack of better he confided in his journal and the pages filled at a steady pace with his worries, questions, hopes, hates and loves.

He would put Nick and Louise to sleep and then go to the guest bedroom to sleep. The good nights provided him with five hours of sleep before he had to move into the other bed to comfort one or the other. It bothered him that Nick insisted on Louise sleeping in the bedroom and not in the other room in her own bed, but every time he brought it up Nick threw a hysterical fit and he gave up.

Since his was using almost all his vacation on this he decided to pretend for a few hours a day that he was at the beach, basking in the sun and doing nothing, but lay on a towel. Nick was rather apprehensive about the idea until he read that gardening was good for the health. So while he basked in the sun Nick took up gardening and started to transform the grass-patch he had threatened to pave last year into a real garden. He had sat up wireless in Nick’s house since he didn’t thought he was about to leave any time soon and he just couldn’t live without and it meant that sunbathing could be combined with ‘surfing’.

Another habit Nick took up was daytime TV; not that it was all bad, but he drew the line at Dr. Phil. So if they didn’t have an appointment, the day would be divided between the garden and the TV and whatever Louise came up with, besides the training. Grissom dropped by daily as did Cath and Warrick. Sara and Sophia only came a few times both rather stressed out from work and what he thought was more likely jealous as hell over Louise.

Grissom kept up the mothering act and he was ready to jump out of his skin on occasion and other times he just enjoyed it. It was quite a relief that Grissom would do most of the shopping for them, provided a thorough list otherwise the outcome could be rather remarkable. He had taken Nick shopping on the second day home and he had ended up leaving without any groceries and both Nick and Louise in hysterics. Nick swore after he regained control that he would never shop there again.

So the little shopping that they did together was at small local shops, where there wouldn’t be too many things going on and where there only was a limited selection of groceries. If well prepared Nick could handle to go to the butcher, since then it would be all about meat, leaving no distractions to panic about.

As always he had woken early and showered before Nick and Louise even began to consider waking up. He had emailed a shopping list to Grissom at 3:30 am since he was wide awake and Nick snoring enough to wake most, but not Louise. Grissom had written back and promised to come by after shift as soon as he had completed the shopping. After his shower and prettying up session he started on breakfast and rousing out his two sleepyheads.

“Nick are you gonna wake up or do you want me to give Louise her bath?” It was a low blow but it worked and an extremely grumpy Nick took Louise and headed to the bathroom. He couldn’t really blame Nick for being grumpy; the night had been a rough one with way too many nightmares. Nick had had two big ones, Louise one and he had also managed to throw in one. It was almost the same as normal but instead of it being the lab exploding it was now a coffin.

His phone vibrated and he knew before he got out that it was Grissom telling him his ETA.
‘5 minutes’ the SMS said. They had learned the hard way that the doorbell was a trigger for Louise, not Nick, but Louise to start crying. He had asked Mette if she had any idea why, but so far they hadn’t found the reason.

He started the coffee and cleared the counter for the shopping bags, before starting on Louise’s porridge. When Grissom pulled up he was standing in the door waiting for him.
“Morning Greg.” Grissom took out 4 bags and handed two of them to him.
“Morning Sir.” He knew Grissom was studying him very carefully and he didn’t feel like volunteering the events of the night.

“Greg; do you remember what I told you when you asked me what got my juices flowing?” Grissom said as he started to unpack.
“Eh… oh yeah, somebody who doesn’t judge you.” He remembered only too well the case with the fat lady and Sara and Grissom using him as a test-dummy for the millionth time or so.
“Well a shopping list like this is certain to get a man judged.” Grissom waved the email that he had obviously printed off.

“Why?” He had been very meticulously about the list and made sure to have all the brands correctly down and if available the EAN-numbers.
“11 women noticed it on my way through the supermarket and all said: ‘Oh the little lady couldn’t go shopping herself and you had to do it, poor thing.’” Grissom looked mighty insulted and he couldn’t help but smile.
“So why didn’t you just tell them that you were shopping for a 30 year old guy?” That comment earned him a glare.

“They would probably have stoned me.” Grissom stated and the image of 11 mad old women changing Grissom around the supermarket lifted the night’s heavy heart considerably.
“Canned, they would have canned you.” He giggled and Grissom gave him that unique questioningly stare, but the eyes turned softer and the old man smiled after a while.

“I may not have appreciated your sense of humor in the past Greg, but I must admit that I miss it nowadays.” They had emptied the bags and put most away when Grissom shocked him with that statement. His brain took the chance and gave permission.
“Griss have you ever had sex with another man?”
“Why do you ask?” Grissom seemed in no way shocked or surprised the only reaction was a minor frown, pulling his cheeks closer to his eyes.

“Well I’ve just been wondering how many people I’m gonna have to explain what it’s like for two men to have sex.” He was carefully folding up the shopping bags.
“I have.” There was no trace of emotion in the answer.
“Thought as much. It’s just… well Nicks’ mother had the ‘talk’ with me the first night here.” He stopped abruptly and moved to the door.

He gripped the frame to the kitchen door tight as he listened; there had been an unexpected sound from the bathroom. Grissom moved and stopped a foot away listening too. Then Nick resumed his singing with Louise, it was more a shrieking contest than actual singing but it worked for the two.
“You are very strong.” Grissom patted him on the shoulder.
“Huh?” Since when had he become strong?

“Most people, yours truly included, would’ve rushed to the bathroom.” Grissom admitted shyly. He stared in utter wonder at his boss.
“He has to learn to cope on his own again. It wouldn’t do him any good if I ran to his aide every time there’s the tiniest thing.” He returned to the task of getting breakfast ready and poured them both a cup of coffee.
“That’s it? You’re not gonna fry me for details?” Grissom said in wondering relief.

“About the sex? Nah. I’ve suddenly come to appreciate privacy very much. Maybe because I’ve lost mine.” He swirled his coffee and looked up shyly at his boss through his eyelashes.
“Greg at work… you… people…. Hmm most assume that you are a couple already.” Grissom sighed and looked mighty uncomfortable.

“Yeah, well the lab has a serious rumor mill. Personally I’m okay with it, but I can’t stand the thought of them gossiping over Nick and his life.” His fist clenched involuntarily and he could feel the anger build inside.
“Well Cath and Warrick are also getting the royal treat.” Grissom sighed again.
“Since when do you get to hear the rumors?” When he had been in the lab Grissom was completely ignorant of any talk what so ever.

“I don’t, I read them…” Grissom continued to mouth words and he hoped it was ‘I read lips’ and not ‘I need hips’.
“Oh, so you’ve always ‘heard’?” His mind raced back to whatever he had gossiped about and he was more than embarrassed.
“I’ve never paid attention to it before. I mean it seemed… unimportant. I…eh the only reason that I notice now… I saw Bobby and Archie talk and your name is hard to misunderstand so I paid attention.” It took his boss 4 big gulps of coffee to get it said.

“So what are they saying about Cath and Warrick?” He wanted to know if others than him and Nick had noticed something.
“That she is playing him.” Grissom rolled the now empty mug from hand to hand.
“Nick and I noticed that… well they… smelled of body juices.” He was blushing it was somehow very unnerving to talk about Catherine this way.
“Mmmh I concur.” Grissom stopped the mug rolling for a moment before he continued.

“I have another question.” Grissom nodded and he went for it.
“Do you also loose your glasses all the time?” Nick could never remember where his glasses where or the package with his contacts and it was driving him mad to always search for them.
“Uh huh, I think it is compulsory when you have glasses. But it’s only at home. When I work they stay with me.” Grissom added the last as an afterthought, like it was actually the glasses own choice to stay with him.

“That explains why Nick has me on a continuous search for his.” He heard the bathroom door open and poured Nick’s coffee.
“Good morning Griss.” Nick smiled and seemed genuinely happy, Louise matched his smile.
“Good morning Nicky.” Wisely Grissom didn’t ask how Nick was doing.

“Oh Greggo, I broke your deodorant.” Nick said quietly as he sat Louise in her chair.
He saw several scenarios all including broken glass and Louise getting hurt.
“Ok, but none of you cut yourself?” He asked not wanting to sound blameful.
“Nah.” Nick said as he sat down.

“Let’s say grace.” Nick’s accent was heavier and he thought saw a glimpse of mischief.
“You can say it inwardly, I’m not gonna subject my daughter to that….” He had eaten so many meals with Nick and saying grace had never been part of them and a thought occurred to him.
“Are you testing me?” If there was one thing that he would never have expected it would be Nick acting as a teenager. Nick’s whole body had now become one of mischief.

“What if I am?” The words were spoken just as innocently as he had done when he was a teenager.
“Then I guess he was right.” The psych Nick had seen the day before had a theory about torture and how solitary confinement could compress all teenage and midlife crises into 12 hours.

“Who was right?” Grissom’s curiosity kicked in and since Nick didn’t say anything he went ahead.
“A counselor. He says that if you want to break somebody untrained; you place them in solitary confinement without any contact whatsoever. No water, no food, no time limit and no room to move. That’ll give the person too much time to think and the person will therefore go through the equivalent of two age-transitions.” He drew a deep breath and Nick had pulled his knees up under his chin and made a Texan-wrap.

“So he beliefs that acting like a teenager is perfectly normal for a victim of torture. And testing your relatives is common behavior. You will test to see how you can hurt them and test to find out what their values are.” Grissom nodded slowly and Nick rocked back and forth on his chair.
“Did you break it on purpose?” His question made Nick fly out of the chair and he heard the bedroom door slam seconds later. Grissom pushed his chair back to get up and he held up a warning hand.

“Give him time to cool down. Let’s finish breakfast, then I’ll go out in the garden with Louise and wait for Cath and Warrick and then you can go into him.” He ran out of breath but his boss nodded in slow acceptance.
“All grown up Greggo, when did that happen?” Grissom half asked half stated.
“Louise.” He stopped chewing only to say her name with all the pride in the world.