nickngreg | The morning after (Reply)

Title: Is it worth it
Chapter: 9, the morning after.
Rating:R
Pairing: Nick and Greg
Summary: Nick has an appointment with the doctor
Warning/Spoiler: Set after Grave Danger
Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me

“Okay time to face the music.” He muttered under his breath as he left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen.
“Come on now, no Louise don’t… Argh not my nose you little…” Nick’s voice suddenly became very nasal and he couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face, she was definitely worthy of being his daughter.
“So Stokes who left this outfit behind?” He asked as innocently as possible.

“No one.” Louise still had a firm grip on Nick’s nose making him sound all funny.
“So I’m to believe that you actually wear this?” He kept up the innocent act.
“Yeah, when I go clubbing.” Nick was so focused on Louise that he answered before he could think and when his brain caught up he blushed. The Texan sat Louise down in a highchair and turned to the coffeemaker.
“Clubbing, who’d thought? Do they play country music there?” He had forgotten how good their banters had been for his mental health.

Nick poured him coffee and when he turned around there was an even darker shade of red surrounding the dark eyes.
“No, it’s more like … gay clubs.” For a guy out of the closet Nick was still clearly uncomfortable.
“I’d love to see you in this.” He ran his hands down over his torso and pelvis. Nick followed the path of his hands as mesmerized.
“Eh… sure I… eh it…” Nick was saved by the buzz from the toaster.

“So Stokes what’s up with the aftershave and deodorant and changing table…?” Eyeing the highchair with Louise he took a deep breath before he continued.
“And the highchair and the razor and the toothpaste.” He ran out of breath. Nick grabbed the back of the highchair and stared down on Louise’s hair.
“Nothing.” The whisper from Nick was wrapped in embarrassment.
“Cough it up Stokes.” The demand in his tone was unmistakable.

Nick returned to the breakfast making all while he tried to start a coherent sentence.
“Nick listen! It’s kind of overwhelming and I do feel kinda railroaded here.” He waited giving Nick a chance to say something, but the Texan was still beyond words.
“Nick please say something!” Nick chewed on his lower lip still not talking.
“Nicholas Stokes! I want to know how and when, you know basic CSI-stuff.” He was shaking with anger and fear and love and the headache threatened to make a comeback.

Nick sat some of the breakfast paraphernalia on the table and he could see the birth of tears in the older mans eyes. Even though he had seen Nick cry before it still hurt him and he could so see them in 10 years with Nick crying his way through an argument and him giving in simply because he couldn’t bear those tears.

“The other day when you went to her mother…” Nick kissed Louise on the hair and made a pause in his shaking whisper.
“I panicked real bad… and I just told Griss everything.” Nick blinked the tears away.
“I told him that I wanted you to live with me and I… I don’t know… I thought it was the right thing to do.” Nick blew his nose on some kitchen paper.

He embraced Nick in a still firm grip.
“It’s okay, but it would have been nice if you had given me a warning. Not about Griss I mean, but all the stuff.” He spoke gently and soothing.
“I was so out of it, it was one of those that had me throwing up. When I…” Nick sniffled and he could feel the warm breath on his neck as Nick buried his head deeper into it.
“When I became aware… your dad was there and he and Griss promised to get things the way I wanted them. It’s all my fault. I never meant to freak you out or railroad you.”

“Let’s face it. Our lives are running at pulp fiction order.” Nick made a puzzled sound.
“You know the chronology is all screwed up in that movie.” He felt the nod against his neck and it felt so good and right.
“And everybody, including us are acting like we’re a couple and all I wanted was to fall in love and enjoy it before everybody had something to say about it.” He had to let Nick know how he felt, he had to share his own pain with Nick, even though he was supposed to be the one helping Nick.
“Me too.” Nick whispered into his neck.

“Good morning.” Jillian startled them back to the task of getting breakfast ready.
“Morning momma.” Nick let go of him and gave his mother a hug.
“Need any help?” She didn’t sound like one who had spent half the night awake.
“Nah just about ready momma.” Nick wiped the last tears away and handed his mother some coffee.

Breakfast was eaten without any other emotional highs. Louise was the natural point of focus for the four of them and neither missed a single move she made. He ate his breakfast mechanically as he watched Nick feed her; it was simple and normal what he saw. But to his mind it was the most awesome act of love he could recall ever having seen. If he could he would jump directly to the date he had promised Nick.

After breakfast it was all about getting ready for the doctors appointment and Nick’s parents leaving. It was a welcome relief for him to finally get in the car with Louise in the backseat and Nick in the front. They drove in silence and he cast the occasional glance at Nick. Three quarters of the way there he saw beads of sweat on Nick’s forehead and pulled over.
“Nick are you okay?” He turned to get a better look at the Texan.

The face had turned pale and even though the lips were tightly clenched the teeth clattered. He got out of the car and rushed round to Nick’s side.
“It’s okay baby, you’re just panicking.” He turned Nick’s head in his hands. Nick stared out into the blue not seeing him. He shook the Texan hard and forced him to move out of the car. Once out Nick doubled over and his breakfast landed on the curb.

Trembling Nick leaned against the car trying to come down from his panic attack.
“Sorry, it… I… shit” Nick dropped his eyes to the ground to hide his feelings.
“It’s okay Nick. Maybe you should sit in the back with Louise. I mean if you focus on her it might not be so bad.” Nick nodded and got in the back without saying a word.
He closed the door after Nick and silently wished for his father, but he would deal with his own reactions later. It would be a bad idea to loose his cool in that kind of situation.

He coaxed Nick into telling the doctor the events of the night. After much discussion on the benefit of the drugs, a plan to ease Nick of them was agreed upon. The ant bites were thoroughly checked and another blood test was taken.
“So in three weeks I’m off the meds?” Nick looked hopefully at the doctor.
“If all goes well Mr. Stokes.” She warned.

“Is it okay if we swing by my place on the way ho… back?” He mentally yelled at his mouth for almost betraying his dream, wish, desire, hope.
“Yeah sure.” The reply from Nick was tired and indifferent.
“What’s the matter?” He unlocked the car and Nick put Louise into her seat.
“You called me baby before.” Nick said as he fiddled with her seatbelt.
“I’m sorry, but you were off the world Nick, I didn’t really think.” He wondered why Nick, who had bought all that stuff for him, suddenly had become weary about being called baby.

“I liked it. And then you just returned to calling me Nick.” Nick whispered disappointed.
“Eh… oh… but… eh…” His brain banned his mouth from speech as it processed what Nick had just said.
“You never call me anything but Nick.” Nick had finally buckled Louise’s seatbelt and he turned to look into his eyes.
“Eh… I… blah.” His brain was still working hysterically for a proper explanation.

“I just don’t call people all kinds of names, my mouth can’t handle it. I mean it would sound a bit off if I were to call you baby out on a crime scene.” He sighed with relief over finally managing to say something and that it came out in a good way.
“It’ll be a while before I go out on a crime scene again.” Nick shuffled his feet staring at them and the admission hit him like a ton of bricks. Nick’s identity would be held in question for a long while yet to come.

“I know, but can I think about this name-thing. I mean I already use the short version of your name.”
“So does everybody else.” Nick was still concentrating on his feet.
“No they don’t, a lot of people actually calls you Nicky.” Nick looked up at him with a rather puzzled expression.
“Why don’t you?” The question was so innocently put that his answer would unreasonable.
“Because I think it sounds childish, and I’ve never thought of you as anything but a grown up.” He tried to smile reassuringly, but failed miserably.

“I like it! I think it sounds more friendly.” Nick whined.
“Friendly?! I thought you wanted more than just my friendship?” The second the words left his mouth he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Nick glared at him then turned and got in the backseat not saying a word. With a heavy sigh of defeat he got behind the wheel and started the car.

“Why are you holding back if you know what I want?” Nick suddenly asked after 10 minutes of absolute silence. It was the same question that he asked himself a million times in the last few days and he still only had one answer for it.
“Because I don’t want either of us to get hurt.” His eyes darted up to the rearview mirror to see Nick’s reaction. Nick caught his eyes and stared in disbelief.

“Get hurt?!” Nick almost shouted the two words and they hung in the car like a bomb ready to go off.
“Nicky.” He tasted the name and it didn’t sit right with him, he wasn’t supposed to call Nick that, it was something that Grissom or Catherine would do.
“Nick can we please have this conversation when I’m not trying to maneuver us through Vegas?” He pleaded and it sounded so much like his own father when his mother drove.
“Sure, whatever.” Nick slumped back in the seat and stared out on the traffic.

When they reached his apartment both Nick and Louise were sleeping and he just didn’t have the heart to wake either of them. Instead he got out of the car and called his father to come down.
“So son, how did it go at the doctors?” His father slung an arm around his shoulders.
“Pretty good I think. He got a plan for easing out of the meds and one of the drugs got changed into another brand with other side-effects.” He shrugged and leaned into his fathers touch.

“You look a bit shaken?” His father knew him to well.
“He panicked on the way to the hospital.” He said almost reluctant to admit it.
“Over being in a car or what?” He shook his head, as he had no idea what had caused it.
“I don’t know, but I dragged him out of it and doing so I called him baby.” He swallowed hard.
“And then when we left the hospital he got all worked up over me calling him Nick.” The struggle to keep the tears at bay became harder for each word.

Louise woke up after perhaps 10 minutes of them standing talking next to the car.
He had unloaded a good deal of his sorrows by then and they turned to her.
“Hey little darling, shall we go and see what Grandma’s doing?” His father picked Louise up and headed for his apartment. He carefully placed a hand on Nick’s chest.
“I’m awake.” Nick grunted as he clamped a hand down on his.
“How are you?” He feared that their earlier talk had messed too much with Nick’s mental state.

“Okay I guess. I’ve been thinking and you’re right. I don’t know why I sometimes can’t see it. It’s driving me mad that… I don’t mean to be such an ass.” Nick muttered and it tore a big piece out of his resistance.
“I know that, I know how screwed up the mind gets with some of these drugs. But no matter what I’ll always love you.” He kissed Nick on the scalp and fought off the temptation to find his lips.

“Do you think we’ll disappoint each other when we finally go on that date?” The fear coated Nick’s voice in shivers and he was only way too familiar with that fear.
“I hope not. We should know each other well enough not to.” He repeated the kiss on the Texans head.
“Greggo you’re… You better stop or I think horny-Nick may make an appearance.” Nick said shyly and turned to the task of unbuckling his seatbelt.

Inside they were greeted by his father throwing Louise up into the air leaving the girl laughing loud and his mother rambling away on the phone. The speed of her speech indicated that she was talking to her own mother and he could just imagine his grandmother throwing hysterics over her third great grandchild.
“So what do you want to take?” Nick looked like he was ready to pack everything and be gone in the next five minutes.