nickngreg | (no subject)

Title: Is it worth it, chapter 6: Going home.
Pairing: Nick and Greg
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me
Summary: Nick is going home from the hospital to the care of his parents.
Warning/Spoiler: Set after Grave Danger

He came back to a sleeping duo and took a picture of them without the use of the flash, knowing it would disrupt Nick too much. They both slept for two hours and he hardly took his eyes of them at any time afraid that he might miss something. His father had left him a blank journal and a pen telling him to confide in it when things got too big.

Is this what I want?
Do I want to live with Nick?
What do I want?
I want Louise.

He drew a heart above the ‘i’ in Louise and after 10 minutes with the pen hovering above ‘Nick’ he replaced the dot there by a heart too. It was most likely one of the most girly things he had ever done and he felt proud. The decision had been made; all he had to do now was to wait for Nick to be out of the hospital and off the meds. If he could wait that long.

“Mr. Sanders?” The guard dog nurse popped her head in.
“Yes.” He whispered as he rose from his chair.
“Mr. Grissom is on the phone.” He left quietly and took the phone.

“Hi.”
“How is he doing?” Grissom sounded like he was speaking into a can.
“A bit better, but he still gets confused easily.”
“How are you doing?” The mothering act from Grissom would take some getting used to.
“Better, I had a long… talk with my dad.” No need for his boss to know that he had cried his eyes out.
“Good. Cath and Warrick will probably drop by later.” The concern so evident that he wished he could reach out and comfort his boss physically.
“Okay, he and Louise are sleeping right now. You know it wasn’t their fault.”
“Well it’s not that easy to believe Greg.” Grissom sighed heavily.
“He’s gonna be fine. We found him in time.” He tried to sound happy.
“Yeah, oh I gotta go, bye.” Grissom hung up as if he had been disturbed.

The guard dog nurse had responded to a call while he spoke to Grissom so he made it back to Nick’s room without delay. It was so tempting to bend down and kiss Nick as he lay there all relaxed in his sleep, but he fought the urge and sat down in the not so comfortable chair. The journal hidden in the pram begged for him and he soon found himself writing again.

No need to beat about the bush (who came up with that anyway).
I want Nick. All of him.
He will be the perfect ‘mother’ for Louise.
I love Nicholas Stokes.

Once again hearts sneaked in wherever they could and despite the complaints from his more masculine side he couldn’t help feeling like a teenager in love, a teenage girl for all he cared. A little romantic voice in his head started to play with names: Sanders-Stokes, Stokes-Sanders, Greg Stokes, Nick Sanders. If he had ever doubted what being in love meant he knew for sure now.

Nick woke up a after another hour and they talked quietly about everything and nothing. They updated each other on what had happened since the team was split and they told small anecdotes of their lives before Las Vegas. The only physical contact he allowed was holding hands, despite the ever growing need for more.

As promised Warrick and Cath showed up and he could’ve sworn that Warrick smelled of pussy. Louise had woken just before they arrived and she was more than happy to play with Catherine’s hair. They didn’t stay for long, it seemed like they just needed the reassurance that Nick was still there.

“Do you think that he had gone down on her?” Nick asked and he just nodded breaking into a goofy smile.
“Maslow!” His comment made Nick laugh and it was the real Nick-laugh, a sound he would never get tired of hearing.

Over the following days Nick improved enough to finally go home. He and Louise stayed with Nick nearly all the time, since every time he tried to leave Nick went into a panic attack. His parents brought him and Louise fresh clothes, but as the days went by he was longing to get outside for more than just a short walk while Nick slept under the watchful eye of Grissom.

When the day to go home arrived Grissom picked the three of them up at the hospital and drove them to Nick’s place, where they were met by both his and Nick’s parents. Grissom stayed and had dinner with them and it could have passed for any normal dinner if it wasn’t for Nick jumping at every sound coming from the street or the house.

It all had this backwards feeling; everybody acted like they were an old married couple and everybody just assumed that they would be living together from now on. It annoyed him that people were crowding them like that. He needed a proper beginning and not this haphazard start. Sitting at Nick’s dinner table enjoying one his mothers’ famous desserts all he wanted was to go home with Louise and stay there alone for the next week.

“Are you okay with sleeping on the couch tonight?” Nick asked when they had both gone to the bathroom to change Louise. He grabbed the changing table hard and a small part of his mind wondered where it had come from, but the rest of him focused on what he was about to say.
“No I’m not. I’m gonna sleep in my own apartment tonight. You have your parents here with you.” He tried not to sound rejecting but it was harder than he thought. Nick’s face dissolved in sheer panic.
“But you promised… to be there for me.” The panic raised Nick’s voice an octave and the sobs broke it making the word come out stumbling after each other.

“I did! And I still am. But you need to… I need to… Listen Nick, just humor me and then if it all goes to hell you call me and I’ll be right over. It’s just that Louise hasn’t even been to my place yet.” He ran out of breath and courage. It would be so easy to stay and let Nick have his way.
“But… you can’t…. just go like that, I… love you.” Nick was crying and his heart shattered when Nick played the love-card.

He knew that all he had to do to stop Nick’s tears was to kiss him; it took every ounce of willpower in his body not to.
“I love you too. Call me old-fashioned but I want to have a date with you first. One where you haven’t had any meds for a week.” His own tears made wet spots on Louise’s blouse and he wiped his eyes with an irritated move. Nick embraced him and squeezed him so tight he could hardly breathe, even after his hospital stay Nick was still so much stronger than him.

“I know, I know. I just can’t imagine falling asleep and you not being there.” Nick sobbed into his neck.
“You gotta try. I’ll tuck you in before I leave, is that okay?” He felt Nick nod and the faint hint of stubble rubbing on his neck fried his brain.
“We better finish with her changing.” He gently freed himself from Nick and turned his attention to Louise again.

Their parents had cleaned up the kitchen when they emerged from the bathroom and his mother took Louise from Nick with a look that left no room for arguments.
“I’ll be right with you, I’m just gonna see Nick to bed.” They sauntered of towards Nick’s bedroom and Nick took his hand holding on tightly; like he was afraid to become lost on the way.

Nick crawled under the covers and curled into the fetal position clutching the toy seal and the ‘woobie’. He caressed the Texan and sang for him hoping that he at least could make it home. The phone had been placed on the nightstand for Nick’s comfort. It took 2½ songs before Nick drifted off and he walked out the bedroom leaving the door fully open and the lights on.

His mother drove on the way home and he sat in the back next to a sleeping Louise.
“She has picked up in activity in the last few days hasn’t she?” He feared like many other parents that something was wrong with his child.
“She has. There’s just been a lot of new stuff for her to get used to. It drains her like it does us.” His father had turned round and looked at him with his ‘don’t worry’ look.
“Yeah I guess, I was just getting worried.” Apart from being worried he was tired and scared and in love. It had been extremely painful for him to leave Nick to the care of his parents. But he had made a choice and he would do what he could to stand by it.

2 hours and 7 minutes after he left the phone rang jolting him out of his sleep.
“Sanders.” He mumbled as he tried to make his way back to the living.
“It’s me.” Nick hitched out in sobs and he was wide awake in a split second.
“What’s wrong baby?” His mouth faster than his brain and he scolded himself mentally.
“I was back in the box. It was all dark.” Nick’s sobs made the words fall apart.
“You’re in your own bed and all you have to do is flick the switch.” He wondered who had switched off the lights, because he had made sure to leave them on.

Nick said something else but his sobs drowned the words and he tried his best to coo and comfort while struggling to get into his clothes. The cries on the other end just grew stronger and he grabbed Louise and he was out the door before he realized that Nick had called him on his landline and not on his cell.
“Nick I’m gonna call you up from my cell, all you have to do is switch the call.” The sob on the other end sounded more controlled and he hoped that Nick had understood him.

Louise woke and started screaming when he started the car. It was the worst drive he had ever performed with a hysterical Nick on the phone and a baby crying her eyes out on the backseat. For the first time in over a year he wished for some of those pills that could quell anxiety. It wasn’t until he got out of the car that he realized that he hadn’t put on any t-shirt and the wind made his skin break out into goose-bumps.

Nick’s mother stood in the open door waiting for him when he ran up to the house.
“He only wants you.” Her face was a blur of tears and her words a mere whisper.
“Take her and bring her in when I say so.” He pressed the screaming baby into her arms and rushed into Nick’s bedroom praying that it wasn’t as bad as it sounded.

A/N: I would just like to thank all of you who are reviewing this story. It is an incredible encouragement to get.
One very special thanks goes to dagsrommer who has been so kind to help me with the translations to Norwegian.
I know that this chapter is rather short for me. But it is just a natural place to break.