(no subject)

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Title: He, his, him
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own them or anything worth anything except two adorable cat critters.
Summary: Humor drabble
Dedicated to my patient betas, Godgaleshot and Fred_bear.



He put his hand on the back of Nick's neck to draw him closer for a kiss and he breathed his scent as his lips closed over his mouth parting slowly beneath his. Nick reached for him to draw him closer to him, his hands gripping his waist. His breath started coming faster as his lover's tongue started–

Bother, there go those pesky pronouns again. Better start over.

Greg put Greg's hand on the back of Nick's neck to draw Nick closer for a kiss and Greg breathed Nick's scent as Greg's lips closed over Nick's mouth parting slowly beneath Greg's. Nick reached for Greg to draw Greg closer to Nick, with Nick's hands on Greg's waist. Nick's breath started coming faster as Greg's tongue started pushing into Nick's mouth with…

Boy, is that clunky. Too many names. Greg, Greg's, Nick, Nick's, Greg to draw Greg, ick.

Oh, Lord, now they're staring at me. Look, I know you're mad at me for starting and stopping this way. Sorry, guys, let me, um, just get this straightened out, okay?

Greg's tongue pushed into Nick's mouth meeting his hot tongue, moving together as the kiss deepened. Slowly he ran his hand from Nick's neck down along his back, gasping as he grabbed him tighter, pulling him close as his…

He, his, him. Where am I? Yes, I do realize you're all hot and bothered but really, you haven't even touched each other's naughty bits yet. Calm down, I'll get you there, I just have to get these pronouns under control.

Nick suddenly threw Greg flat on his back on his bed and grabbed for his–

No fair, guys, you can't get out ahead of me like that. Guys? Oh come on now, let's act like adults. Surely you can control yourself for a few minutes. Stop glaring at me and go to opposite sides of the bed! Trust me. I'll get you together, I want this as much as you do.

Nick couldn't control the desire he felt as he lunged across the bed, grabbing for Greg with desperate hunger. Lips met, teeth clashed, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

Hey, that worked out well, not too many names or pronouns. Oops, sorry guys.

He wrapped his hand around Greg's dick and stroked roughly, impatiently, trying to bring him off quickly. Greg thrust urgently up into his hand, while his own hands reached for Nick's cock, feeling the aching hardness, the quivering…

Quivering? Okay, okay, we'll go with quivering.

…the quivering in his thighs as he rocked against him…

Dang, pronouns again. Okay, guys, I've lost track. Greg, your hand is on Nick's dick, right? Nick's dick, where did that come from? And Nick, where was your tongue again? Take a couple deep breaths. Do you want to be trotted off for a cold shower, mister, or are you willing to behave?

You want to what? Fine, whatever, if you want to wait till I sort through all the ramifications THAT would entail. No? So you're fine with just a hand job? Excellent. Resume, boys.

They rocked together faster and faster, hands grasping cocks roughly stroking, gasping against each other, hanging on, just trying to get off as quick as they could. Finally with loud cries of relief they thrust into each other's hands, coming over each other's stomachs, whimpering with the release.

Um, guys, wake up. I wasn't done yet. Guys? Really I'm willing to write you whatever you want to do if you'll only wake up.

Oh, well, I'm sure they'll want to play again tomorrow.

Comments

[amazonqueenkate.livejournal.com]

Hehehe!

All the troubles with writing two boys in bed, and hilarious to boot.

^_^ Hee.

[xris-xrossd.livejournal.com]

We should create a television show: When Muses Attack. You've totally nailed my problem when writing slash... but it was a great way to tackle it. Well-written, very funny (I'll be smirking all morning) and totally worth reading before my morning coffee. Great job! Keep Writing!

X

[snafu-07.livejournal.com]

LOL!

Too funny!

I believe every slash writer has been there!

[amyvand25.livejournal.com]

That is so funny. This is exactly why I feel so much more comfy writing 1st person. :D

[squara.livejournal.com]

that makes me giggle.

[quettaser.livejournal.com]

Haha! Meta-humor rocks my face! And yeah, I think every slash writer has that problem with pronouns (which I think makes the smut better, because you have to be more creative and visual with your language). This is fan-fucking-(pun intended)-tastic!

[flipflopadd1ct.livejournal.com]

Omg! Haha! That was great! Pronouns suck. Altho if you want annoying, try writing slash about two guys with the same name...ack.

[katy-moon-beam.livejournal.com]

Cracked me up! :)

Every writer's nightmare - attack of the incoherant pronouns!

[cunnane.livejournal.com]

*laughs...a lot* I think you've pretty much summed up what all slash writers go through, those lads have a dirty, filthy mind of their own ;)

~x~

[fred-bear.livejournal.com]

:D Love it!

[saebuffyboy.livejournal.com]

that was super cute. Seriously who hasn't had that experience while writing for the boys.

[jupiterlullaby.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. That was funny, and I know I've been there. Slash can be such a challenge sometimes, but in the end it's all worth it =)

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

I hate to say I've gotten myself into tangles similar to those pictured above, I get carried away and on the second read, I'm like, who's doing that? Thank you!

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

And don't they attack! Thank you, I thought this had to be a universal problem and I so admire writers who seem to fluidly slide thru this quagmire. I'm glad you liked it, I will keep writing.

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you thought it was funny. Sometimes while going thru my stories tracking down and eradicating the feral pronoun, I lose track of whether the story was funny, so I'm glad it remained so. :-)

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I actually kept laughing as I revised which convinced me that maybe it really was funny. I am working on an angst piece in first person, and dang, it IS easier. :-D

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad I could give you a giggle. :-)

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

One of my fave sayings:

The secret of good design is making virtues out of necessities.

I like that you meet the challenge by being more creative and visual with language, I will remember that. It's lovely.

And thank you for that heart-felt compliment. I love it!

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

OMG, that must be a nightmare. I mean you could assign a dimutive to one but it would still be confusing. If you've done one of those, direct me to it, I'd like to see it.

Thanks!

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it cracked you up, it did me after wrestling with my pronouns thru several stories. What a great movie trailer: Attack of the Incoherent Pronouns at a theater near you!

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Yep what they get up to behind your back while you're earnestly wrestling with pronouns. Hee! And that same gender love scene creates all sorts of opps for really confusing fic.

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

And it's dedicated to you! (And Godgaleshot.) Thank you for struggling thru my fics and dealing with all them there pronouns. You make it better, as always. Kisses.

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad. I guess the boys are worth it tho, we keep doing it. You know, they are so worth it. Sigh, my tv boyfriend.

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

It IS worth it, isn't it? Musing about why that is. You know, I never even heard of slash till this year, stumbled across it, but I've been writing it in my head all my life. Never started actually writing it down till now. It's great to find a slash comm with the same pairing as I adore. Sigh, I'm home, y'all.

[kahlualeia.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww! I'm glad to be home too :-)

And I echo what everyone else has said. Pesky pronouns. Grrr.

And also, about the writing it in your head? Same here. I'd see two guys, really friendly with each other, or maybe two girls who're a little *too* close, and wonder...

I have a very rich imagination :-) As I'm sure we all do.

But before I forget! Great fic, very VERY funny. Poor tortured boys.

[amazonqueenkate.livejournal.com]

As have I. I feel the pain.

[flipflopadd1ct.livejournal.com]

I never finished that one. It felt kinda weird writing it cuz it was RPS involving two guys from my school...lmao...it's not my fault they're hot!

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Okay, I realize I should have no interest in guys in your school, but maybe you could change one of the names? Or if the plot fits, adjust for our specific n/g interests? Somehow the little you said piqued my interest, maybe hot guys inspire hot plots!

[flipflopadd1ct.livejournal.com]

Or if the plot fits, adjust for our specific n/g interests? - I didn't think of that! I could change the names and add that into one of my fics...probably "Senior Year," cuz of the whole high school thing. Thanks!

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes! I LOVE your senior year story and I'm just hanging on by a thread waiting for the next installment. Yippee!

[imyourally.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. That was like the funniest thing since, well, I don't know what, but I laughed a lot. Very, very amusing.

[catlover2x.livejournal.com]

Thank you. At least I have a sense of humor when I back into the rat's nest of same gender description! I'm so glad you liked it. I am such a whore for feedback. And I LOVE your icon! It's just awesome.

[imyourally.livejournal.com]

That would be from peacefully at her icon community peaces_icons. She's quite fantastic. There were a ton of Tinkerbell ones, and I had trouble choosing which one I liked best. I haven't looked at her stuff in a while. I think I'll go right now.