nickngreg | Earlier than expected (Reply)

Hey everyone, by popular demand I thought I'd try something from Nick's presepctive. Some language is pretty harsh so be warned.

My Pensive:

Hi my name is Nick Stokes. I work for the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I’m 34 years old. And about a month ago, I was kidnaped, buried alive, and left for dead. My amazing friends managed to find me and pull me from what I thought would be my grave. I just started therapy and my shrink seems to think that keeping this diary/ journal bullshit will help me out or something. I’ve never done anything like this before, so bare with me. Let’s see, the rules were First I have to be honest, no bullshit. Second I have to write down every dream I have that I can remember. Other than that I guess I have the freedom to do whatever I want. Greg’s happy about it. He always tells me I need Dumbledore’s pensive, because I carry so much shit in my brain. And damnit, I fucked up already. I have done something like this. Not kept a journal for a shrink, but when I was a kid I kept one for a little while. All my sisters had them and I thought they were kinda cool. So when I was six or eight I started one of my own. I didn’t write about my the stuff that happened in my life for very long. Instead I wrote about Captain Hero and his sidekick Kid Cool. Captain Hero was, as I’m sure psycho babble would say, my unconscious childhood manifestation of my dreams for the future. He was a policeman who solved cases by using science and logic. Not the hardass interrogations I saw on tv. It all started when a police man came to my school and told us about things like finger prints and they used them to solve crimes. I guess you could pinpoint that as the moment that I decided I wanted to be a cop, but I hate all this psycho babble bullshit. So what else about me. If I had to pick the Kid Cool in my life it’d be Greg. Greg and I are. What I mean is that Greg’s my roommate and my best friend. We’ve been sharing a place for a while now. He’s really been great for me during all of this. Well, I guess, that’s all there is for now. I hope this is what I’m supposed to be doing.

Ok, so I fucked this up again. Twice on my first try. This is going to be great. I lied. About Greg. Not about him being my roommate, or my best friend, or any of that. So I guess I really didn’t lie, but I wasn’t totally honest. Greg is my lover, or my boyfriend, or whatever it is when you live with some one that you love but are too afraid to tell anyone about it. Greg moved in the day I got out of the hospital. He set up shop in my guest room which lasted all of one night. He was really sweet about the whole thing. So afraid to touch me because he’d hurt me. To be honest I wanted to hear someone breathing with me when I was alone. Every time I shut my eyes and lay down, I’m back in that box. When Greg is there, it’s easier. And he gets up in the middle of the night and puts the salve on me when the burring comes back. And he holds me when I have freak outs as my medication wears off in the middle of the “night”. And he just talks me through it when I can’t breath, and need my own space. And when they switched my meds right when I got out of the hospital, he took every punch I threw at him when I completely lost touch with reality that first day. He didn’t scream, he didn’t fight back, but just took them. Like he knew that on some level it was what I needed. When I came out of it Greg was in the bathroom nursing a bloody nose. He had a black eye, a bruise on his cheek and a fat lip. That was as far as I got before I threw up, right there in the bath tub. I haven’t done that since college, when that chick was pissing and I got sick at some kegger. I took him to the hospital as soon as my stomach settled. He got off with out much damage. Only some bruises on his face and chest. I could have broken his nose or jaw or fractured his cheek. I guess that’s one time we got off lucky. But I felt like the scum I spent so much time trying to put away. Domestics always pissed me the fuck off. Fuckn’ asshole’s beat their wives and kids to feel better about themselves. God damn nothing pisses me off more than someone that takes advantage of a kid. Ever since. I made them switch my meds on the spot. I flushed the one’s I had at home down the toilet. I didn’t need pills to calm me when I have my Greggo. And I wanted to make sure he’d stay. Things are just better when he’s here. Fuck that’s really gay. But ya know what. Part of me doesn’t care. Captain Hero needs his Kid Cool to solve his cases, and I need my Greggo to get through this.

I'm not sure if I'm going to do anything with this yet, so I'd love some feedback on it. Thanks.

SAEbuffyboy