Memories

[magicalvamp.livejournal.com]

Title: Memories
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Raiting: PG-13
Word Count: 648
Authors Note: Angst



Greg was gazing at Nick. He couldn’t help feeling weak whenever he heard one of his colleagues mention Nick’s name. What exactly happened? Greg couldn’t remember what went wrong. He remembered when he first met Nick. He welcomed Greg and smiled at him. At that moment, Greg knew he wouldn’t forget that smile. Every moment shared with Nick was perfect.

He remembered when he was a lab rat and enjoyed every time Nick had to go to the Lab. Greg would leave everyone’s DNA samples pending to check out Nick’s samples first. In Greg’s Lab, Nick always had priority. Greg always thought he did it because Nick was such a nice guy, but now he knew better.

Greg remembered when he first went to the field with the CSIs. He remembered how shocked and nauseous he felt when he saw his first pool of blood. Nick stood by him and gave him advice on how to move on. Later on, the Lab exploded and Greg got injured. He was sad when the first face he saw wasn’t Nick’s, but he knew Nick had a case. One time Greg’s medication wore off and he woke up in pain. The first face Greg saw that night was Nick’s. He went to the hospital to visit Greg briefly before he started his shift. Greg swore his pain went away during those minutes shared with him.

How could Greg forget the rigorous training he had to go through to become a CSI? He remembered how happy he was when he finally passed his evaluation. Everyone celebrated with champagne and wore big smiles – especially Nick. Greg could never forget when Nick whispered in his ear “I’m proud of you.”

And he remembers that night, that fucking night. It’s incredible how alcohol and impulses can change everything. Greg remembers being invited to have some beer at Nick’s apartment. They both had more than their share of alcohol, and they were yelling at the TV and to each other. They tumbled towards the fridge to get more beer, and they laughed uncontrollably on their way back. Greg had a brief encounter with Nick’s floor and couldn’t stop laughing. Nick helped him get up and inexplicably kissed him.

Nick leaded the way to his bedroom, and although Greg was confused, he followed Nick silently. That night, Greg understood what passion, pain, and pleasure really meant. Lying on Nick’s bed, Greg pondered whether they made a mistake, but when he felt Nick’s fingers run through his hair, he knew everything would be all right.

Greg was wrong. Each day his conversations with Nick were shorter, and their interactions were strictly about work. Within a few weeks, Greg felt that Nick and him were strangers. No longer was Nick interested in knowing what new video game Greg purchased. Every time Greg looked at him, he secretly hoped he would see the same old Nick, but it never happened.

He wanted to talk to Nick, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk getting more hurt than he already was. He just wanted to know what happened, but he was too proud to ask. For years he told nothing about his feelings to Nick in order to save their friendship, and now Greg didn’t even have that. He felt empty.

The thought of it made Greg’s eyes sting and the back of his throat hurt. He started to shuffle some papers and decided to leave the building to get some air. While he was walking, he noticed he had to pass close to Nick in order to get out. For the first time, Greg decided to walk straight ahead without looking at Nick. Greg knew his feeling for Nick will never change, and thought that some day Nick will come around and they will recuperate at least their friendship. If that never happens, Greg had memories, and those will never fade.